


You Give Love A Bad Name || Bottom!Louis || Non Cliché Larry Stylinson Fanfiction || 1 ||

by runningwatermelon



Series: Non Cliché Larry Stylinson [1]
Category: Larry Stylinson - Fandom, One Direction (Band)
Genre: Addiction, Bottom Louis, Death, Depression, Fanfiction, Larry Stylinson Is Real, Life - Freeform, Love, M/M, Obsession, Psycho, Sad, Styles - Freeform, Top Harry, bad, dead, fakelove, fakesmile, harry - Freeform, harrystyles, highschool, larry - Freeform, larryisreal, larryshipper, larrystylinson, louis - Freeform, louistomlinson - Freeform, real, reallife - Freeform, society, stylinson, tomlinson - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-08
Updated: 2021-01-08
Packaged: 2021-03-02 19:42:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 28
Words: 128,259
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24422233
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/runningwatermelon/pseuds/runningwatermelon
Summary: Part 1 Of The 'Non Cliché Larry Stylinson' - Series***Everything Louis ever wanted was that Harry would return his love.He wanted to show Harry that he was loved. Sometimes he felt like he was born to do this only. To make Harry feel better. And in the meantime, Louis let himself more and more down. More than he realised.And don't roll with your eyes: No, this isn't a citchy story full of clichés. Because sadly this is the real life. And the real life is the purest S.H.I.T.***OR: In which Louis Tomlinson is in love with Harry Styles and does everything for him. But people are selfish and sometimes the only thing they care about is themselves. In doing so they don't think about how others could be hurt by the serious consequences. Sadly, Harry was one of those. But it wasn't like he never realised what he did, no - he just didn't really care often. But some day Louis didn't care either.
Relationships: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson
Series: Non Cliché Larry Stylinson [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1763650
Comments: 5
Kudos: 37





	1. ||Before you read||

!!! WARNING !!!

*This story will NOT have a very optimistic/positive plot, it will be more negative/pessimistic

*This story could make some people think about hurtful experiences/habits

*This story could trigger

*This story will show the realistic and bad side of love

***

Hi!

I'm active on my two Instagram-accounts: larrymelon28 & larrykiwi28

You can always dm me there xx

I hope you enjoy this book!!

If you like it, I'd be very thankful if you showed me by tapping on the small little vote-star, leave a comment or add my fanfic to your reading list x

Small gesture for you, but means so so much for me and supports me a lot <3

Thank you x

runningwatermelon


	2. ||Prologue||

Why do we like to read books? Are the characters the reason for us enjoying to read those books? Is it their life, which we're jealous of? Do we like to read books because of the friends of the protagonist, who seem to be always on his/her side? Or is it because of the courage of the protagonist, which develops threw the story? The courage to finally talk to the football captain, to finally go to the entrance examination of the cheerleading team, to finally have their first time with his/her crush?

It doesn't matter what the cause for people to read books are, Louis loved every single one of them. He loved clichés, because that's how he could escape from his own life and could dream more about how his life would be, if it was like in books. How it would be if the love was like in the books he read so much.  
Because his own life was just like every other real person's life not like in books. Not only the life, but love, too. Although he tried everything, did anything for Harry, he would never get the love back from him. But some day Louis didn't care anymore and love became obsession.

***

Who's now rolling his eyes: don't worry, this story will not be a cliché. Before I started to write this story, I told myself "no, I have enough of this. It's time for a story which has the realistic side of love. Love is not always beautiful and only because you love somebody, you don't just get love back. And because I love Larry and wanted to also write a fanfiction, I put the two things together so we have an non-cliché fanfiction. Just because it's a Larry Stylinson Fanfiction it doesn't mean that both have to love the other and that there has to be only kitschy and lovely scenes, right?  
So for everyone who likes to read stories without drama and with a lot of cliché and sappy scenes, this is not your story. This is a story for all people who maybe want to read a realistic (and maybe more dark and psycho) story.


	3. ||1||

* 1 year ago *

It would be exaggerated to say that Louis was a nerd. He did his homework, because he didn't have other things to do. And he wanted to understand the stuff in school. Besides, it was acceptable with music in the background.  
Journeys' Don't Stop Believing was playing loud in his room, while the boy finished his history homework. He loved the 80s. Back then people were famous because of their voice and not because of their plastic in their body or their perfect life, which they tried to show on Instagram. Back then they couldn't correct every wrong sound, couldn't change every imperfection with the help of surgery, the people had thought of the inner values from each other.

If you now think that Louis hated the current time, you're wrong. He just didn't approve with how some people nowadays thought and how many people lived under superfluous living conditions. But who was he to judge, his family was rich as fuck. But money really doesn't make happy. Louis would rather live in a little flat and give up his pocket money (that was very too much for his age) than having parents that work so much. But in the end, it wouldn't change their relationship. His parents weren't really interested in the 14-year-old. He didn't really care, it wasn't like he wanted to spend that much time with them. It was okay. After all they weren't like parents in books, who throw out their sons, because they were gay. Yes, Louis was gay. And anybody who had a problem with it should carry on walking around homophobe. It wasn't his life, Louis himself could never live like this. His parents didn't know he was gay, but he was sure it wouldn't bother (or interest) them that much. And if so, then he wouldn't care thank you very much.

Satisfied with his work Louis closed his folder. His older sister Charlotte gave him it when he had graduated. It was mint green; he loved pastel colours!

Still in a good mood Louis went downstairs, because he knew he finished all of his work for school. Therefore, he had time to grab something to eat, bunk off in his bed and read on his book. He opened the fridge and thought about what he wanted to eat. But he didn't find something, so he closed it. In the fruit basket also wasn't something he fancied in the moment, so he went back to the fridge. In hope the fridge filled itself magically with new food, he opened it again. His fingers drummed on the opened door of the fridge. In the end he decided to eat some vanilla yoghurt.  
Upstairs Louis laid on his bed again, ate his yoghurt while he re-entered the imaginary world.

***

As usual Louis was so lost in his book that he didn't notice how the time flew.  
"Louiiiis", somebody teared the door open, by which Louis jumped.  
"Lottie!"  
His older sister laughed and leaned against the doorframe.  
"I can call you as much as I want, hm?"  
Louis only shrugged, but then grinned, because his sister seemed to be in a good mood. This wasn't usual lately. He didn't knew why, but he estimated that it was normal for her age. Every 18-year-old girl was in a bad mood sometimes, right?  
"I wanted to tell you that Mum and Dad are going to be at home very late"  
"Did they text you?", Louis asked and closed his book, not before he put an bookmark in it. His sister nodded and he only returned it. Their parents had always liked Lottie more than him. He didn't know why, she just seemed to be more interesting for them. She denied it every time, but Louis knew that she also noticed it.

"Why so happy?", Louis asked his sister when she smiled while looking at her phone.  
"Ah, nothing..."  
Louis raised his eyebrows, whereon she laughed, before she jumped on the bed next to the boy.  
"Some friends of mine will come around later, okay?"  
Louis only nodded, because it wasn't new for him that his sister invited some people. He himself didn't have many friends, but good and true ones. He didn't need or want more.  
"Like who?", he asked politely.  
"Gemma, Liam..."  
Again he only nodded, because he knew Lottie's best friend and Liam. Both came around often.  
"And Harry"  
At the mention of this name Louis became alert.  
"Harry? Who was this again?"  
Lottie sighed happily and Louis frowned.  
"Gemmas brother"  
"Oh", Louis said surprised, nodded nevertheless. Lottie told him a while ago that she started to see Harry more often. But it was new for him that they seemed to be that close and that Harry now was in her inner circle of friends.  
"Yep. He is stunning"  
"In what way exactly?", Louis asked with a longing look at his book. It wasn't something special that Lottie had a crush on some boy. Not to be mean, she just was like this. And Louis longed back for his book, because he was alone. He didn't have a crush that ignored him, no. God, he didn't even know somebody that he could crush on. He only knew immature fools.   
"He's a total gentleman, funny, tall, good looking-"  
"Since when do you like gentlemen?", Louis chuckled, whereupon Lottie rolled her eyes.  
"Yes, yes, shut up. He really is stunning. We're only friends, but maybe I have a little crush on him, haha"  
Louis sighed and she stood up.  
"Whatever. Wait until you're in my age, then you will understand", she grinned cheekily and then leaved him alone. She didn't close the door, by what Louis groaned annoyed. He hated this!

And no, he didn't tell Lottie that he liked men. Why should he? He didn't have a problem with that and as long as he didn't have a boyfriend or whatever he didn't see a cause for him to tell her. Not more thinking of the news, Louis grabbed his book.

***

It was the evening of the 28th June. Louis sat in the kitchen and was happy, because a song from the 80s was playing on the radio, when it rang at the door. With the expectation for Lottie to run down the stairs, Louis didn't answer it. But nothing happened. While sighing Louis stood up and looked up the stairs.  
"Lottie? There is someone-"  
"Then answer the door!"  
Louis remained silent.  
"Don't you want to answer it? I mean they're your friends"  
"You're not scared of them, are you?", he heard Lottie laughing and rolled his eyes. He wasn't really scared , but he always was nervous when they were here. Not that they weren't kind, but... Liam was so much taller than him, it was intimidating. And Gemma was nice, yes. But she didn't really paid special attention to him. Why should she?  
"I have to do my hair, please answer it", Lottie said a little bit annoyed, because there was a second rang on the door. Louis sighed again.  
"Kay", he muttered, what Lottie didn't hear for sure. So he went to the door and opened it.

"Hey Louis, long time no see", Liam smiled at him and Louis nodded.  
"Hi Liam"  
Liam had brown hair that matched his brown eyes, which looked at him with kindness. A little bit relieved Louis breathed out. Maybe he freaked out about nothing, Lotties friends were nice.  
Louis just let Liam in and when he wanted to close the door a black Range Rover drove up the driveway. Louis stopped and Liam looked over Louis' shoulder, which wasn't difficult because of their height difference.  
"Ah, there are Harry and Gemma"  
Louis only nodded, because he remembered the names of course. Curious what this Harry would look like he stood still. The car stopped and Gemma jumped out of it first, a blending smile on her face. With her freckles and bleached hair that fell down on her shoulders she looked happy and lovely. 

Then the driver's door opened. And he got out.

***

It wasn't love at first sight like in books. It wasn't like Louis dropped something and was immediately in love with him. Because maybe some people experienced this, but this was Louis' life.  
What Louis noticed was that Harry really was good looking. Okay, yes Harry was one of the most attractive men Louis ever laid his eyes on. Just his brown curly hair that looked so soft, his face that even looked perfect from far away and just alone his body. Louis had the same opinion about his look as Lottie, but never mind.

He smiled at Gemma's friendly greeting, before his eyes fell on Harry again. Harry stood next to Gemma and smiled at Liam while saying hello to him and okay, he had dimples. Fuck. Those tiny little craters on his cheeks that made him even more pretty and cute and Louis really hated dimples.  
Then Harry looked at Louis for the first time and Louis couldn't help to stare at those green eyes. He sure looked like a total idiot. But he was completely stunned by this male model.  
"Harry, Louis. Louis, Harry. Louis is Lottie's little brother"  
"I realized", Harry smiled, whereupon Louis gulped at his deep voice. No, it wasn't love at first sight, but it was drooling at first sight. He really understood Lottie now.  
Confused Louis stared at Harrys hand that was stretched out to him. A little bit blushing he shook his hand, not used that somebody introduced himself to him like that. It was cute though.  
Gemma chuckled, apparently, she was used to this reaction of others when her brother introduced himself like that. Louis didn't notice how much bigger Harrys hand was, because he let go of it quickly, not used to an attractive man like Harry voluntary touch him.  
"Lottie is upstairs", Louis said quietly when they all had entered the house, before he went back to the kitchen quickly. He had felt uncomfortable under the attention of the three friends of his sister.  
There were steps that came down the stairs and then a happy "Hii" from Lottie. There were voices immediately and Louis saw how Lottie hugged Harry. He knew his sister too well; she couldn't fool him. She hugged Harry way longer than the others.

***

The next time Louis met Harry was when he visited them with Gemma, just when Louis came home from school. It was early evening on the 4th July.  
"There's Louis! He will tell you that it's true", Lottie said when she heard the door and Louis went thereon in their home cinema. A little bit surprised Louis looked at Harry, who was busy staring at the screen while playing PlayStation. So Louis looked at Gemma und then at his sister.  
"What?"  
"I am the best in this game"  
"Only because you're addicted to it, Lottie. Doesn't mean you're the best in it", Harry smirked and Louis noticed how he relaxed because of his voice. He had been completely stressed out because of school.  
"Louis?"  
"Well, she really is good", Louis said shyly and Harry looked at him for a moment.  
"You have to say that, otherwise she'll punch you after we're gone"  
"Shut up, Harry", Lottie said laughing and sat next to the boy she obviously flirted with. Louis didn't care, only asked himself how Gemma would feel about this.  
"Where have you been?", she smiled at him; apparently she was the only one interested.  
"School"  
She frowned and looked at the clock.  
"Until now? It's already evening"  
"It's school, Gem. What did you expect?", Harry said, still distracted by the screen.  
"What grade are you?"  
A little bit flattered that Harry addressed him Louis answered with "10th grade". Harry only nodded without looking at him.  
"Back then I also had school till evening"  
"I'm very happy that I'm outta this shithole soon", Lottie smirked and Harry rolled his eyes.  
"Only because you have 12 years. If I only had 12 years, I would finish school soon, too and wouldn't have one more year after that"  
Without another word Louis turned around and exited. He didn't saw a cause for him to be there any longer, he sure only was disturbing them. And they were Lottie's friends after all. Besides, he had a lot of homework so...  
But Louis couldn't help to ask himself why he never noticed Harry before. Lottie said he was going to the school Louis was going and not the one Lottie was going. Maybe it was because the lower grades and higher grades were separated in different buildings; Louis never had a chance to notice Harry; just alone see him, because Harry was in 11th grade.

***

It was in the afternoon of the 9th July when Louis heard the doorbell ringing. He stood up for going to answer it. Lottie and Gemma were upstairs in Lottie's room, so Louis thought it would be his job to open the door. Surprised he looked up at Harry. It was the first time he was alone with the young man. He looked stunning as always. And by the simple "Hey" from Harry Louis noticed that he really missed the voice of the 19-year-old. That was completely stupid, he knew that. But as sudden as the feeling and the thought came, they left when the taller man went upstairs and in Lottie's room. And Louis had gone to his own room without any more thoughts of Harry, before he continued reading.

***

It was the 29th July when Louis noticed that there was something wrong. It had been four weeks since he first met Harry and it had become a habit that Louis answered the door when the doorbell rang and saw Harry standing there. They hadn't talked much yet, just a few chats. And Harry never had seemed to notice him that much. But on this day Louis realised that it bothered him. He wanted more of Harrys attention, wanted to be looked at more, wanted to talk more with him, wanted to hear more of the deep voice of his. Louis never thought he could be so obsessed with a person he knew for only four weeks. He didn't even know Harry properly! The 14-year-old realised this one day when he was looking at Harry when the older boy didn't seem to notice.  
Louis often caught himself thinking of the brown haired one. In class he had always paid attention, but not anymore; he was thinking of Harry and his green eyes and those dimples. While eating, which had been his favourite, he thought of Harry. While listening to music, even while reading his loved books he couldn't stop thinking about him.

At least since then Louis was aware that it wasn't normal anymore. Harry was always on his mind and Louis couldn't stop to just stare at him fondly when the 19-year-old visited them and thinking about how beautiful he was. It's possible that Louis himself increased himself, because it didn't seem to get any better like his friend Whitney had hoped. Because when Louis had told his best friend about Harry, she had been less enthusiastic.  
"I knew it would happen", she had said when Louis told her that he thought he had become a little bit obsessed with Harry.  
"Just alone when you talked about his great lips," she had rolled her eyes. "Did you really think that you only find him okay, and that it stays that way?"  
"You haven't seen them yet, they are so full and soft," Louis had tried to defend himself, but that hadn't really helped.  
Whitney knew Louis too well. The 15-year-old and Louis had been friends since the 6th grade. At that time, Whitney had been new and Louis had gone to her because he had loved it so much that she had the same name as Whitney Houston.

***

Louis had promised to tell her if there was something new. But by August 13, nothing had happened. He had continued living on his monotonous life, sometimes thought of Harry, and otherwise had run to the door with each ring to open it. It was normal for both of them that Louis opened the door for him and Gemma, greeted them and then went their separate ways. But that day was different.   
Louis had stopped trying to convince himself that he always opened the door as a courtesy. No, he wanted to see Harry. And fate meant it well with him that day.

"Harry, hi," he said, perhaps a little too happy for a greeting from two almost strangers. Harry chuckled; he certainly noticed that as well. And Louis blushed.  
"Hi Louis, you're busy reading as always, or are you listening to Cyndi Lauper while doing your homework?"  
Louis stared completely shocked at the bigger one.  
"Um... I-I..."  
Harry laughed and that was the longest conversation the two had ever had. And Louis was shocked. Harry knew more about him than he had thought.  
"I'm not a stalker, don't worry. So, may I come in?"  
"O-Of course, I'm sorry," Louis said embarrassed, and stepped aside.  
"Where... I mean..." Louis stammered as he closed the door. Harry looked questioningly at him with those green eyes until a slight smile formed on the boy's full lips, indicating his dimple.  
"Lottie mentioned that at some point and I always hear when I pass your room or the kitchen when you're inside, songs from the 80's"  
Then he shrugged.  
"I remember something like that"  
Louis only looked up at the boy with wide eyes, until he gathered himself again and blinked.  
"Oh, w-well... I was just confused," he said softly and looked at his feet.  
"I noticed", Harry smirked and Louis didn't see Harry's gaze on him. He thought that Harry just wanted to be nice anyway and just listened to a friend who had just talked about her little brother.  
"Lottie is upstairs", Louis's head shot up when he realized he didn't want to bother the boy in front of him. But he didn't seem to be annoyed at all; rather amused. He nodded.  
"As always"  
Louis nodded and could not help smiling.

***

Already on the 1st of September the life of Louis had changed. He was overjoyed. Whether at school, or when he was at Whitney's, or when he was at home. He was happy.

Because Harry seemed to like him. Harry often looked at him when he was in the same room. He also looked at him differently when Louis opened the door for him. Louis didn't know what it was, but there was something different. Yes, sometimes, when Harry was about to leave and saw Louis sitting in the kitchen, he went to the kitchen to say goodbye. He even talked to him briefly and did not just throw a "Ciao" in the room. And Louis was so happy about it.

Harry visited them more often now, and Louis always repressed that meant that he and Lottie seemed to get along better and better. He just told himself that Harry wanted to see Louis and concentrated on remaining happy and focusing on Harry. And that day was probably his lucky day.

Louis had expected his mother with Lottie, because the two had gone shopping spontaneously. But when Harry stood in front of him, he didn't know what to do. Should he be happy? Finally, he was really alone with Harry for the first time. Or should he cry? After all... well, they were really alone.  
"Oh, hey Harry," he said, unable to stop himself from eyeing the boy in front of him up and down to see that he looked perfect as always.  
"Hi, I was nearby and wanted to stop by"  
At first, Louis had actually thought that Harry had come over because of him. But then he was quickly aware of his stupidity and repressed his disappointment, which had come only because of his naivety.  
"Lottie isn't there, my mum and her went shopping"  
Harry was silent for a moment.  
"Oh... and you're not a fan of shopping?", he then smirked and Louis pressed his lips together so he didn't smile like a fool. Harry made him so happy. Just by talking to him.  
"Actually yes", he admitted quietly.  
"But they didn't ask me"  
Harry frowned, sure thinking that something was wrong with Louis.  
"I'll let Lottie know you were here", Louis suggested. Because even if he wanted to continue talking to Harry, he thought just he himself wanted that. But Harry was silent for a moment, until he apparently made a decision.  
"Not necessary, I'm just waiting for her, would that be okay?"  
Louis needed some time to understand what that meant. That meant that Harry would voluntarily stay here with him, right?  
"Um, no... I mean, sure, you can of course wait, but maybe inside"  
Then he pinched his eyes with embarrassment.  
"Of course inside, it would be totally stupid of you to stand outside"  
Then he looked up at him with wide eyes.  
"Uh, I mean, not that I think you're stupid, I'm stupid, you're great!... Wait, what?!"  
Harry laughed at Louis's babbling and Louis blushed as he had never done before. That was so incredibly embarrassing! What had Louis been up to?  
"Thank you"  
Confused, Louis looked up at him. He didn't understand anything anymore.  
"You said I'm great", Harry replied with a grin, and Louis made room, still red-faced. Harry chuckled and entered.  
"I was going to ask if you mind if I join you," Harry said then.  
"But I think I don't have to ask anymore"  
"Why?", Louis asked and Harry gave him a knowing look. How could he be like that? And why did Louis let that happen to him? But the mere thought of spending time alone with Harry made sure that Louis only followed him into the living room.

He didn't spend a moment wondering if he knew the real Harry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soo this is it the first chapter!! I hope i didn't make that many mistakes..
> 
> By the way there will be a little bit more story before we get to the real start of the story, don't worry Harry isn't as cute as in the beginning lmao (except in real life, he's the purest sweetheart. But in this story... uuuh you'll see) 
> 
> ! If you have questions/remarks, don’t be scared to comment  
> I’m happy about every Kudos and comment <3  
> All the love xx  
> @runningwatermelon  
> (Twitter: larrymelon28; Wattpad: runningwatermelon)


	4. ||2||

Louis' nervousness had gotten a bit better after a while, but he was always worried that he was talking too much, being boring or annoying, or just saying something wrong.

"Lottie said to me that if you're comfortable with someone, you can be a real chatterbox", Harry said at some point, then smiled and looked at him.  
"Should I go, just say if you feel uncomfortable"  
"No!"  
Surprised but also amused, Harry raised an eyebrow and Louis cursed in his head because he himself couldn't do this.  
"I-I mean, of course you can go if you want... I... it's just that I don't know you that well and it's not that I feel uncomfortable"  
And you're too beautiful for me, he thought.  
Harry laughed slightly.  
"Well, I'm happy about that"  
Louis took a deep breath. How was Harry so relaxed? And so cool?  
When Louis's stomach growled, he blushed again, but Harry only laughed again.  
"Maybe you should eat something"  
"Too lazy and maybe my mum will do something later"  
Harry looked at him in silence for a moment before saying something that Louis hadn't expected.  
"I can cook something for us"  
Louis looked at Harry shocked.  
"What?"  
"Yes, why not?"  
"Wait... can you even cook?", Louis looked at him suspiciously, but laughed when Harry did.  
"Yes, I can, I'll prove it to you. I've even got some cooking classes behind me", Harry grinned proudly as he ran his fingers through his hair.  
"A dream", Louis said in a trance. Because Harry seemed to become more perfect by the minute. He was good at cooking? Just like someone Louis was looking for. In the books, the person always got someone who would cook for them.  
But then he realized what he had said out loud.  
"I mean... I can't really cook, so little things, but only such simple things, I could never cook a real dish"  
Harry chuckled and got up from the couch before holding out a hand.  
"Then it won't be difficult to impress you"

Honestly, Harry could also make a frozen pizza and Louis would have been impressed. It would surely taste ten times better than if Louis would make it. He had taken Harry's hand now and got up to follow him into the kitchen.  
"You have so many things here, everyone could cook", Harry said, looking into the big fridge and Louis crossed his arms over his chest.  
"I can't do it anyway, I'm sorry. It's not like I did not try it, I love food after all"  
Harry laughed and looked at him.  
"Alright, little boy"  
Fortunately, Harry then looked away again, because Louis had to press his lips together because he had to smile like a fool. He felt a pleasant tingling in his stomach, but put the blame on his hunger. He couldn't like Harry that much, could he? He was only 14. That this didn't matter, he ignored.  
"What do you think of... tomato mozzarella salad and then pasta with avocado pesto?"  
Louis blinked overwhelmed.  
"Avocado-what?"  
Then he groaned.  
"Don't say you're like those trendy people on Instagram"  
Harry chuckled, looked at him questionably.  
"What do you mean?"  
"Avocado. Trendiest food of all time", Louis said and stared at the green vegetable. Harry laughed, then shook his head.  
"I know it's trending, but it's that good, that's why. And it's really healthy, so I guess the hype is well-deserved"  
Louis didn't respond.  
"You haven't even tried it, have you?", Harry grinned.  
"Maybe", Louis said, then stubbornly crossed his arms over his chest.  
"I don't support this green monster"  
"Then I will do some avocado pesto and you will see that you like it. Okay, not everyone likes the taste, but you have to try it at least before you start to hate it. Don't knock it till you tried it"  
Louis was silent. And maybe he would try it. For Harry.  
"Okay, maybe", he muttered and when Harry laughed, he looked away shyly.  
"Do you like the rest? Tomato, mozzarella, pasta and pesto?"  
Louis only nodded; he ate just about everything. Except coriander, pure ginger or scallions. And well... Avocado.  
"Okay, then I'll just do it", Harry smirked and as soon as he started, Louis had to remind himself that this was real. He sat down on the counter and watched Harry. That was more interesting and beautiful to him than any book he had ever read and every song he had ever heard.  
"If you can't cook and your parents are almost never there, what are you eating?"  
Harry asked as he cut the avocado, which looked so easy on him. Louis was too clumsy and impatient for that. Maybe that was one reason for his non-existent cooking skills (and his hate for avocados). He didn't want to cut, mix and what not everything, cook and anything else. He didn't love cooking... but the food afterwards. And he didn't love cooking before the food... just the food. Just food without cooking before that.  
"Pizza, pasta with sauce... sometimes I just eat so many sweets that I'm full", Louis admitted honestly, exhaling relieved at Harry's laugh. So, he didn't think he was a freak.  
"That's why I look like that", he pointed to himself, then to Harry.  
"And you like that"  
Harry turned to eye the body of the smaller one up and down for a moment.  
"Don't say that, you've got a nice body"  
Louis only rolled his eyes at that. He knew he was not as skinny or muscular as other boys of his age, but what should he do? Refrain from eating and going to the gym every day? He would have to be delivered to a mental institution after two days. Fitness wasn't for Louis, what should he do? But in bad moments when Louis was thinking about himself, he cared. He didn't always care. Actually, he would have said that Harry didn't have to lie to him just to be nice. But the fact that Harry had said that... Louis cared a little about his opinion, that's why some hope flashed in him.  
"Anyway", he said a bit embarrassed and jumped down to stand next to the taller one. For a moment he only watched his hands. Why it was so exciting to watch his hands, he didn't know. He was only 14 and had no idea exactly what he felt for Harry.  
"How did you become friends with Lottie?", it then shot through his head and Harry looked at him a bit surprised.  
"What makes you think about that?, he asked, continuing to concentrate on cutting.  
"Just because... at some point you were suddenly there"  
Harry chuckled.  
"Yes, that day I fell from heaven, Gemma picked me up quickly"  
Louis had to hold himself back to say that this would explain why Harry looked and was ... the way he looked and was.  
"So unspectacular, you're just Gemma's brother and then started doing something with Lottie and then ended up in their group?"  
"Yes, something like that, I mean what's wrong with getting along with the siblings of your friends?"  
Louis was silent for a moment, not sure if Harry had intended the allusion. And he couldn't prevent hope from spreading in him more.  
"As long as nobody minds, of course", Harry said kindly and Louis just nodded. Would Lottie have anything against it? He hadn't thought about that yet. Nor, what she would think about that they were doing something together now. He had only thought of Harry.  
"I'm almost done, I just need...", he looked around searching and then found by himself what he had been looking for.  
"Salt," he said, taking a step to the right to reach for the salt shaker on top of the shelf. Louis stood between the kitchen counter and Harry, and when he felt the hand of the elder on his waist, he looked wide-eyed at the chest in front of him. He felt his heart beat faster and he got goose bumps. Only by this simple touch.  
For Harry, this reaction didn't go unnoticed and he grinned unnoticed, before he stood next to him again.

***

Louis was doing his homework when Lottie opened his bedroom door.  
"Louis?"  
He turned to her and couldn't interpret her expression.  
"Yes?"  
She sat down slowly on Louis' bed and looked at Louis, who was sitting at his desk.  
"When Harry and you were alone ..."  
Louis immediately felt the tingling in his stomach, just because he thought of the few hours the previous day. After they had eaten, by the way, one of the best pastas he had ever eaten, Lottie and their mum had come up at some point. Lottie didn't seem to have been angry, but obviously a bit confused.  
"Did you talk about... me?"  
Louis only frowned, not understanding what she meant exactly. But when she added something hopeful, he understood.  
"So did he wanted to talk to you about me... because... you know"  
"I, um... no... I just asked him once how you became friends"  
"And he hasn't made any hints that he could imagine us as more than friends?"  
"Uh, no...?"  
Louis felt the serious situation and turned in his chair completely to her. If Lottie really felt something for Harry, that would be a problem. What if the two would come together? That would be horror for Louis!  
"Do you... do you like him so much?"  
Lottie smiled and then sighed before looking at him.  
"No, no, you certainly do not understand, I'm just scared that I'm in his friendzone. I could imagine having something with him, y'know, on the other hand, that's pretty much atypical for Harry, I don't think he is that type of boy that has something with some people just for fun"

Louis only nodded. But he was still confused about Harry's hand on his waist last night. That had been unnecessary obviously. But for just being nice to a friend's brother, it had been too far, right? But Louis didn't even know if Harry was gay or bi or pan or anything. But he couldn't talk about it with Lottie.  
"If you think about him that way... and why do you want something from him if you have no feelings for him?"  
She sighed and then looked at him lovingly.  
"Knew that you wouldn't understand that yet"  
"Why yet?"  
"Oh Louis, life is not like in your books, in which you meet your dream man directly and get straight to him and then marry him; you can also have something with people you don't love"  
Louis only frowned. It made no sense to him. Why should he share such intimate things with someone for whom he didn't feel anything special and above all for which one he was nothing special?  
"You're right, I really don't understand"  
Lottie smiled and nodded.  
"I guessed so, but maybe it's good that you don't think so with 14 years"  
"But I mean you... you don't love him"  
"For God's sake, no", Lottie chuckled and Louis couldn't help but get angry. How could Lottie want to use Harry like that? He deserved so much more than that! How could she see him as a simple amusement?!  
"And what do you want from him then?", he tried to say calmly and Lottie put on this loving smile, which only provoked him more. She made him feel stupid and small.  
"Oh Louis"  
"What?!"  
She giggled, knowing that Louis hated when older commented on his age. It wasn't his fault he was old and tall (small) like he was.  
"I don't want to talk about it with you right now, you know. Mum's gonna have to do that with you"  
Louis was silent.  
"Wait, wait, you want to sleep with Harry?"  
"Want to, yes", Lottie said, laughing slightly.  
"But I don't know if I will. I mean, like I said, I have the feeling that he's a bit stuck there"  
"Just because he doesn't sleep with everyone?"  
"Yeah, I think it's cute... but why does he have to look like that?"  
It was all about the look. She didn't like Harry because he was the way he was. She didn't like his attitude towards women because he respected them and therefore didn't sleep with every women. She was just fixated on appearance. Something Louis had always found annoying about her. But that was different with Harry. It made him angry. Very angry.  
"Be glad he respects women", he said in a snappy tone.  
"Maybe he's not even into women", he still said in the same tone, and Lottie stared at him in shock. Then her eyes were amused.  
"Wow, Louis, why do you have to hang your bitch out now? Haven't seen her for a long time, but apparently she's still alive and she's fine"  
"I'm just saying", he snapped and turned back to his desk.  
"I always notice something like that", Lottie said confident, then stood up.  
Girl you blind?, Louis thought.  
"But well, I'll leave you alone so you can calm down"  
"I just think you're pretty selfish about Harry"  
"If he would do something with me, he would want it himself. As I said, not everyone is looking for his true love and wants to live like a priest in the meantime"  
"But-"  
"Why are you even so interested in this?!"  
"Children, what's going on here?", their mother stood in the doorway and Louis was glad, because he didn't know what he should answer Lottie.  
"Nothing, Lottie just wanted to exit my room", he said and smiled ironically at Lottie, who snorted and actually went out.  
"Louis, do you still have in mind that you have to go to the bakery?"  
He sighed.  
"Couldn't Lottie do that?"  
"No, she helps me with the cooking. You can do something, too; it's not too much to ask for. Anne arrives at 7 pm, but today the bakery is only open until 5 pm"  
Louis nodded silently for his mother to leave.

Quickly he did his homework to get dressed. To distract himself from his bad mood because of Lottie, he turned on music. Quietly he hummed to You got it by Roy Orbison. Pretty Woman was the most famous of him, but the song he just heard was his favourite song of the singer. His mood got better as he put on his leggings and pulled a big sweater over it. He had once watched a video on Youtube, where the Youtuber had talked about clothes that were apparently 'only for women'. He had raved about how comfortable leggings were. In the end, he was right; Louis loved them. Even if you could see his thicker thighs even better, but who cared. He brushed his teeth, did his hair, put on his vans and a denim jacket, then he was done.  
"I'm leaving now", he shouted through the house as he hopped down one of the stairs because his own room was on the second floor.  
"Alright, the note is on the kitchen island"  
Louis just nodded and went down the next staircase to go to the kitchen and grab the paper.  
He went to the door that led to the garage and let the garage door go up as he pushed his bike toward it.  
As soon as he was outside, he realized that it was colder than he had thought, but was too lazy to go in again. So, he ran down the driveway as he looked into the slightly clouded sky. He himself was to blame, why had he just pulled a denim jacket over? After all it was October now. But it had some fur inside, so it would be okay for the short way to the bakery.

He got on the bike and rode down the driveway before he took a swinging turn to the right. Suddenly a car honked twice behind him and he turned around a bit startled and confused. But when he saw a black Range Rover and Harry behind the wheel, his eyes widened. His heart raced immediately and it seemed he had lost control of his body in shock. Because he was out of balance, looked forward and would have crashed into a parked car, if he hadn't turned right against the curb. However, he tilted to the right and fell on the sidewalk.  
"Shit", he hissed painfully, his knee aching and his foot jammed between floor and bike.  
"Louis, you idiot", he said to himself. He didn't even notice how the drivers-door opened and Harry got out and hurried to him.  
"Louis, are you okay?!"  
It wasn't until Louis heard Harry that he looked up and opened his mouth to say something. But Harry had a bandana in his hair that Louis had never seen before. That overwhelmed him, because Harry looked so beautiful.

***

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you", Harry said apologetically, lifting Louis's bike to park it on the sidewalk and then squat down next to Louis. Louis plopped down on his butt, but continued to look at Harry.  
"Harry"  
As if he was a complete idiot, who had just now noticed that Harry was standing in front of him.  
"Shit, you're bleeding", Harry said shocked, didn't seem to notice Louis fondly staring at him, and only now did Louis notice the pain again. He looked down at his knee, from which blood coloured the torn fabric, and then back to Harry.  
"No matter", he said. Because he didn't care, because Harry was here and gave him attention and had wanted to greet him and worried about him and shit, Louis was so addicted to him.  
"What? No!", Harry said a little upset and looked Louis in the eyes.  
"Come on, we'll go in and disinfect the wound, I'll give you money for the pants of course!"  
"Not necessary", Louis only said.  
"It's my fault, I'm so clumsy"  
"No, I shouldn't have honked"  
That hadn't even been the cause of Louis' fright, but he couldn't really say that to Harry, right? 'Don't worry, my heart just stopped beating when I saw your beautiful and perfect face'? Well, no.  
"I wanted to greet you, but obviously couldn't call", Harry chuckled and then stood up again to hold out his hand.  
"Are you able to stand up?"  
Louis briefly looked at his hand before taking it while ignoring the goose bumps and stood up.  
"I'm fine", he said, bending his knee once, but everything was still okay.  
"Thank god", Harry said relieved.  
"Come on, we go inside"  
"Seriously, I have to go to the bakery first, Mum will get mad"  
"But-"  
"It doesn't hurt anymore", Louis said and smiled because it still hurt, but that didn't seem to arrive right in Louis' brain. He was too distracted by Harry. He was silent for a moment with a thoughtful expression.  
"Okay, then I'll drive you"  
Louis gasped.  
"N-No, not necessary, I can go by bike"  
"No, you have to bend and stretch your knee over and over again, that only hurts you more... And maybe something on the bike broke, you don't know", Harry said and Louis had to grin.  
"That's just a stupid excuse to drive me. As if my bike is broken"  
Then his eyes widened, because he hadn't wanted to actually say that. Surely Harry was just worried, Louis was the little brother of a friend. And Harry was a good and helpful person that felt guilty. But what Harry did, Louis hadn't expected.  
"Possibly", he smirked. Louis' eyes widened and the older man smiled and laid a hand on Louis' lower back.  
"Go slowly to the car and get in, I'll bring your bike at least in front of the garage"  
"Isn't it locked?"  
"I ran straight to you so I didn't really have time to lock it," Harry said, smiling again with his dimple, and Louis' heart jumped. If this went on like that, Harry had to drive him to the hospital and feel even more guilty about causing Louis a heart attack.  
"Okay," he said quietly in a trance and Harry let go of him to push his bike up the driveway. Meanwhile, Louis went to the black car to sit in the comfortable passenger seat.

He did not spend a moment wondering if Harry had any selfish intentions for his actions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Second chapter <3 hope you enjoyed! As I said, the story will soon take a turn and then the real story will start, but we have to get there first xx 
> 
> ! If you have questions/remarks, don’t be scared to comment  
> I’m happy about every Kudos and comment <3  
> All the love xx  
> @runningwatermelon  
> (Twitter: larrymelon28; Wattpad: runningwatermelon)


	5. ||3||

When Harry stopped in a parking lot in front of the bakery and switched off the engine, Louis opened his seatbelt.  
"Wait a minute," Harry said, before leaving a confused Louis in the car. When he walked on Louis' side, Louis stopped.  
He won't-  
But Harry actually opened the door for Louis.  
"Are you able to walk, or should I go in alone quickly?"  
Louis stared at him in disbelief. Why was Harry so kind?! Lottie had told him that he was a gentleman, but oh my God. Louis was about to collapse.  
"N-no, I'm okay"  
Harry's eyes became worried. How respectful was this man?  
"Don't sound very convinced, is it still so bad? God, I told you, we should have disinfected the wound directly!"  
"Harry, I'm all right, it doesn't hurt anymore", Louis chuckled. Harry looked at him in surprise, then smiled slightly.  
"Sorry, I'm... I'm just worried"  
"You don't have to, it's not that bad", Louis said, turning in his direction to get out of the car. Harry immediately held out a hand that the boy gladly grabbed and got out of. He would use every opportunity to touch Harry.  
"Thanks," he said quietly, and Harry closed the car door before he locked up and then placed a hand on the lower back of the smaller one to lead him to the bakery. Louis liked the bakery very much, but unfortunately wasn't friends with the owners as always in the books.  
"Harry!"  
Louis looked confused to the counter, where an older man stood smiling.  
"Tom, hi", Harry said smiling and Louis looked confused at him as the man ran to them to hug the older one.  
"Glad to see you", he said happily before his eyes fell on Louis.  
"And you bring company with you?"  
"Uh yes, that's Louis"  
The man nodded and shook the hand of the overburdened boy.  
"Ah yes, I've seen you here many times before. Well, I'm Tom"  
Then his eyes fell on Louis' knee.  
"Oh my god, you're bleeding!"  
"Oh that is-"  
"Do you have any disinfectant?", Harry asked directly and Louis immediately shut up, because Harry was talking and he worried about Louis.  
"I'll take a quick look, sit down", Tom said before disappearing quickly behind the counter.  
"How do you know the man so well?"  
"I worked here when I was 16"  
"Oh", Louis said in surprise. To him, Harry seemed more and more like a book character; he seemed far too perfect, seemed to live a perfect life. And that was how Louis admired him even more.  
"But surely you have enough pocket money", Louis said softly, knowing about the Styles' money.  
"I was often here and at some point Tom was looking for someone, so I've contacted him", the taller grinned, before he lead Louis to a chair.  
So helpful, Louis thought and his heart jumped. Why was Harry all that he imagined to be a perfect man?  
"Here", Tom came to them and Harry took the disinfectant and the wet cloth from him.  
"Thanks", he smiled and Tom patted his shoulder affectionately.  
"How did that happen?", he asked Louis.  
"I fell off the bike"  
"Oh, kids", he just nodded and Harry shook his head.  
"No, it was my fault. I honked to greet him, so he was startled"  
Tom looked at Harry.  
"Harry, what are you doing to the boy?! And then letting him run around like this?"  
"I wanted-"  
"No, no, no, I hope you have apologized properly"  
"He did", Louis said immediately. Of course, he defended Harry.  
"And it's not that bad"  
Then he noticed something and took out his mother's note.  
"I wanted to buy something actually"  
"I'll pack everything for you", Tom said smiling and took the note from him.  
"Take care of this", he then said admonishingly to Harry and pointed to the disinfectant, before he went back to the counter.  
"Is he always like this?", Louis asked quietly and Harry laughed before squatting in front of him.  
"He doesn't mean it bad, I know that. He's become a little father role to me", he explained as he ran the wet cloth over the wound to cleanse it of the coarse dirt. Louis flinched and Harry looked at him.  
"I'm sorry"

That alone was enough for Louis to be quiet and not feel the pain so bad. They looked at each other deeply in the eyes and Louis gulped. Because this stinging green seemed to literally pierce into his eyes. Harry was so incredible. His charisma, his effect on Louis; no one had ever overwhelmed Louis like that.

"When did your father leave your family?", Louis asked quietly, not sure if Harry wanted to talk about it. He knew from Gemma that their parents were divorced, but nothing more. Lottie was good friends with Gemma, and his mother was a good friend of Anne, the mother of Harry and Gemma. As a result, he occasionally met the two of them, but didn't have so much contact with them that he knew something like that. He only knew that Anne was divorced. And the two mothers were not that good either. Otherwise Louis would surely have met Harry earlier.  
"When I was 15 or something", Harry said, without looking up. He sprayed disinfectant on the wound and it burned. But Louis unconsciously ignored it, Harry had all his whole attention.  
"Oh... and Tom was always there for you, wasn't he?"  
Harry shrugged.  
"Yeah, I guess"  
At that moment, Tom came to them with a large carrying bag containing various paper bags.  
"Well, I think I packed everything now"  
Louis nodded and got up.  
"I pay for that", Harry said, but Louis shook his head.  
"My mum gave me money, and that's also for your mum"  
Harry sighed.  
"That makes 6 €"  
"Only 6 € for all this?", Louis asked shocked and Tom smiled.  
"I didn't charge you everything, see it as compensation", he said, then glanced at Harry, who sighed.  
"I am a grown man, Tom"  
"That attacks children, yes"  
"I'm not a child", Louis growled and Harry chuckled amused.  
"Thanks a lot, even if I didn't hit him", he said and Louis nodded.  
"Yes, thank you!"  
"No problem, and drive the kid home safely without honking, Harry"  
"Yes, yes, yes", he rolled his eyes and took the bag before the two exited.  
"Now I've even had to pay less because of you", Louis giggled and Harry sighed.  
"Can't believe this, I'll have to listen to it from Tom forever"

***

* Present *

Louis often thought back to those moments. To the moments when he was young and happy. In which Harry was Louis' world, without the possibility that the smaller was almost obsessed with him. Louis had felt like he was in a book; Harry enchanted him with his appearance, his perfect life and his looks. And when Louis lost his virginity on October 30, his fifteenth birthday, and two days later, was dating Harry... the younger couldn't be happier. Day after day, his feelings grew for the young man he had fallen into so much. He was the first person for whom Louis had developed such feelings, and until today, about a year later, nothing had changed. About a year ago Louis had met Harry. In other words, about a year ago, Harry had entered his life, changed it, improved it and about six months ago... destroyed it forever.

***

Of course, not forever, because life has to go on, right? But Louis's feelings did not weaken. On the contrary; through February 28 of that year, the day Louis's life was destroyed... not only did his life and his knowledge of Harry change. No, the biggest change on this day took place inside Louis. Instead of anger and sadness, despair spread through him. He had only turned his life to Harry, he had only seen Harry. And that day didn't change that either. Louis had become even more aware that without Harry, he couldn't live. He would replace any other human with him if he had to choose. And that day he had learned that Harry did not feel that way. He could live without Louis. But he knew that Louis couldn't do it without him.  
And with that Louis had learned that real life is not a book. And that the people who look so perfect and flawless from the outside can be terribly cruel on the inside. A charming smile can really harm another person.

How?

By throwing the smile to someone who loves that smile. Someone who would give up everything else for this smile and would do anything to see it again.

It may be that at some point Louis could have ignored his feelings and then distracted himself by someone new. But Harry hadn't stepped out of Louis's life, he was just as involved as he was a year ago. But Louis didn't want it any different, he was infinitely happy, though he also played a role in Harry's life. He repressed, however, that he played only a very small role. And that Louis wasn't really important to Harry, he repressed as well. Despite the fact that on February 28, when Harry couldn't have shown him better, Louis didn't matter to him and how Harry really was, Louis ousted it all. Because it was Harry.

Louis refused to be pushed around and resisted usually. But it was Harry.

And if Harry did that, and if it said that Harry was still in his life and Louis was still in Harry's life, then he was glad and repressed all the bad things in this situation. For him, it would be better to just keep his distance, but he didn't. He wasn't even aware of how broken Harry actually made him. Instead of paying attention to himself, he paid attention to the man he loved and who was more important to him than himself: Harry.

***

* half a year ago: 2nd March *

Anne Styles looked at herself in the mirror, which hung in her bathroom, which was connected directly to her bedroom.  
"Harry, sweetheart?", she called, knowing that Harry could hear her over the wall phone hanging from the wall in several rooms in the house. Hers was hanging right next to the bathroom door in her room and Harrys was upstairs in his room, where such a device was also hanging.  
"You sure you don't want to do anything today, it's such a beautiful evening!"  
"Just because you're on a date it's a beautiful evening?", Anne heard her son smile over the phone and she sighed.  
"You're right, I'm just so happy and excited! Just text me if you decide to go out"  
"As always, mum"  
She smiled happily at her decent son as it rang downstairs on the front door.  
"Should I-"  
"No sweetheart, I'll go"  
"See you then, mum. Take care of yourself"  
"Oh, Harry"  
With that she looked at herself again before she went downstairs to open the front door. But instead of Markus standing at the door, as she expected, someone else was at the door.  
"Huh, Louis, what are you doing here?"  
The boy looked up from his feet and was obviously a bit surprised that she had opened.  
"Hi Anne... is Harry there?"  
"Um, yes", the woman said a bit confused. She couldn't figure out why he wanted to see her son. The two knew each other, of course, but they didn't have much to do with each other after all? And perhaps she would have noticed the desperate look in Louis's eyes and his attitude, which showed how weak he felt if she wasn't thinking about her date.  
"Why? Louis, are you alright?", she asked politely.  
Louis hesitated for a moment. In fact, he was feeling miserable.  
"Um, yes, I..."  
He was desperately searching for an excuse, because he couldn't tell her the truth, right? 'Hi Anne, can I go to Harry? I caught him cheating on me the day before yesterday and I can't live without him? Ah yes and your son is bi by the way and we were together since my birthday while he told me he was gay. And how are you doing?'  
"I need a, um... contact person", it occurred to him and Anne raised her eyebrows.  
"Did you have a fight with Lottie? You can always talk about anything with her, I thought? Don't get me wrong, I just don't understand why you should want to go here just to talk with a boy... oooh"  
Louis was about to say something, but Anne interrupted him happily.  
"Oh god, is it because of a girl?!"  
Before Louis had a chance to say that it could never be because of some stupid girl, Anne talked on.  
"Harry is your contact person for the cause 'girls'? Aww Louis, I'm sorry, I should have known that Harry replaced your non-existent brother there"  
Yes, so Harry was not like a brother to Louis, but he didn't care what Anne thought.  
"May I come in now?", he asked and Anne nodded immediately. Then she looked behind Louis, where Markus parked his car in front of the house.  
"I'm off, Harry's in his room, third floor, as you know. Good luck you both", she said smiling, before she passed Louis. Of course, she had meant the 'good luck' differently, but luck was something Louis could need. He closed the front door, took a deep breath, then went up the stairs. He finally wanted to get up the annoying stairs and to Harry. Because he was frightened of him and his reaction when he would find out that Louis just showed up at his house. But he couldn't stand it anymore, he had seen Harry two days ago and he couldn't wait anymore. Too much had he gotten used to spending his whole life on him in the last few weeks. When they were still together. But maybe Harry wanted to be with him again? Maybe the day before yesterday was just a slip-up and Harry was sorry?

Unconsciously, Louis repressed Harry's statement that it had not been the first time... and just his whole behaviour since that moment.

***

In front of Harry's bedroom door, the boy stopped and tried to calm down. The door was ajar and he heard Harry's voice; he seemed to be on the phone. Louis closed his eyes briefly, because he had missed that voice so much. He pushed the door open and saw Harry standing at his open balcony door, holding his phone to his ear. Apparently, he hadn't noticed Louis and the smaller one was staring at Harry's bare back as he was wearing only sweatpants.

"What did she say?... Then ask her if she goes with you... Yes, I've got time, I need to freshen up again, is Zoe coming?"  
When he heard that, he frowned. He finally cleared his throat and Harry turned around, confused. When he saw Louis, his eyes changed abruptly and Louis automatically became smaller.  
"I'll text to you again", Harry said without interrupting the stare into Louis' eyes. He hung up and carelessly threw his iPhone on his bed, which was a little further away from him.

Louis was so nervous he started shaking. And yet he realized how he had missed Harry. Why did he want to freshen up? He looked so beautiful and Louis couldn't help but stare at his bare chest, where he knew every single tattoo. He wanted to throw himself around Harrys neck, kiss him and beg him to be like he used to. Even though this seemed to be the real Harry.

"What are you doing here?", was the first thing Harry said first, and Louis looked intimidated as he felt the cold tone in the older man's voice. He didn't know how to deal with him. How he should deal with this Harry. Because so far, he had only experienced the nice, charming Harry. Until two days ago, when he had appeared in a bar earlier than agreed, in which he had caught Harry with another girl. Louis hardly recognized Harry again.  
"I-I wanted to see you..."  
Harry raised an eyebrow and leaned against the balcony door frame, arms folded across his broad chest.  
"How so?"  
Overwhelmed with the question, Louis remained silent and played with his fingers.  
"Because I wanted to talk to you"  
"About what?"  
Louis would have been upset what the guy was saying and if he was stupid. But it was Harry. So, Louis didn't say anything like that.  
"About the day before yesterday... a-and about us"

Harry heard the hope in Louis's voice and couldn't help but chuckle. There seriously was the boy standing in the room with him, who had caught him cheating two days ago and to who he had also said that this hadn't been the first time and wanted to make it clear that he had just taken advantage of him, and wanted to talk about it? He didn't even seem to be angry. Harry had known that Louis was naive and had some crush on Harry, but he hadn't expected that. And if, he hadn't expected him back so early.  
But Harry underestimated the matter. Because Louis had not just 'some crush' on him.

"Well then... talk"  
Louis sighed a little disappointed because Harry wouldn't help him in this. Not a bit. That he had to get used to it, he didn't know at that moment.

Because Harry would deal with him like this from now on.

***

* today: 4th September *

Louis opened his eyes when he was awakened by a noise. With a quick glance at the clock, he was aware that it was 2 am and he rubbed his eyes. Were his parents back? But they had actually said that they would be gone longer. Lottie? Wasn't she with her boyfriend Ryan?

When Louis realized that he had excluded anyone who had a key to the house, he got scared. Was there a burglar in the house?! Oh God, Louis needed a knife, like right now!

Then he heard something clicking and frowned, because only now he noticed that the sound came from his window and not from below in the house. Maybe it was an animal? Or Lottie had forgotten her key and changed her mind and wanted to sleep here?

Slowly Louis got up and walked to the large window that bordered his balcony. Or was it a burglar who wanted Louis to go to the window to shoot him? Or got up on the balcony and would stab Louis with a knife?! He looked around his room and grabbed his hand mirror. He quickly opened the window and walked slowly to the balcony, then looked down. But there was neither a burglar nor Lottie and Louis' heart slipped in his pants.

***

"Harry", he whispered softly, more to himself, as the older couldn't hear him by the difference in height.  
"What were you gonna do with that?!", Harry asked in a loud whisper and Louis looked at the mirror.  
"I was afraid"  
Harry rolled his eyes.  
"Open the door", he just ordered and then left, probably to the front door. Louis immediately closed the window and was about to run downstairs. But he stopped. So much time had to be. He ran to his bathroom, used perfume and brushed his teeth as fast as he could.

As he jumped down the stairs, he could no longer hide his joy and had to smile like a idiot. He enthusiastically opened the door and looked wide-eyed at Harry, who had already been waiting there. He frowned as he saw the light behind Louis, ignoring Louis' gaze.  
"Don't say I could have rung the doorbell"  
Louis giggled, because Harry looked so pretty in his sweatpants, black t-shirt, and coat. He looked like that without even trying.  
"Yes, then I wouldn't have been so scared"  
"It wasn't the first time", Harry just said, stepping inside. Louis closed the door and leaned against it.

"Why are you here?", he asked and Harry turned to him.  
"Why, am I disturbing you?"  
Stupid question, because Harry knew the answer anyway. And indeed, Louis shook his head quickly, as expected. He would have mocked other people because he loved sleep, but with Harry that was different.  
"No, just asking!"  
Harry chuckled and then went into the living room. Louis locked the front door again and dumbly followed Harry, who made himself comfortable on the couch.  
"Couldn't sleep"  
And then he looked like this? Unfair.  
"Oh", Louis said, biting his lip with a smile, hiding it by looking at his feet, which were still in his fleecy socks. Harry couldn't sleep and then drove to him?  
Harry knew that Louis had to smile.  
"And I haven't seen you for a while", he stated, but it was not meant to be what Louis would understand. The little one looked up immediately.  
"Yes, I... I was camping with Whitney, holidays are over soon and we wanted to drive away again, before we start in 11th grade"  
Harry just nodded and gave Louis a quick look.  
"Why didn't you tell me? I first heard about that from Lottie"  
"Um, I...", Louis looked back to him before he shrugged.  
"No idea, I forgot, because I had to prepare a lot with Whitney"

Harry was silent for a moment and Louis frowned. Did he have a problem with that now?  
"Come here", he said and Louis trotted to the older man who had sat up. Uncertain, Louis stopped between his legs and looked down at him. Harry let his hands go underneath Louis' too big shirt and put them on Louis' lower back, his chin under Louis's navel, to look up at him. He felt Louis get goose bumps under his cold hands.  
"Did you both sleep in one tent?"  
Louis frowned, but couldn't release himself from the look in Harry's eyes.  
"Harry"  
"Answer"  
"Uh, I... yes, of course, why shouldn't we?"  
Harry paused for a moment and then took Louis' hip, still under his shirt. He squeezed the flesh and then looked up again.  
"And did you like it?"  
Louis frowned again. Was Harry out of his mind now?  
"Yeah, she's my best friend, it was cool. Why are you asking so weird stuff?"  
Harry chuckled and pulled the shirt up to his waist, keeping it there with his hands, putting his hands in place. He slowly kissed Louis' stomach a few times, whereupon Louis tensed immediately.  
"Would you have liked it more if us two were in a tent?"  
Louis closed his eyes as Harry continued to spread kisses on his stomach all the way up to his chest.  
"Yes, of course"  
"Would you have cancelled her if you had the opportunity to be with me in a tent?"  
"Harry, why-"  
"Answer"  
Louis sighed, which didn't sound annoying as Harry's kisses felt way too good.  
"Yes"  
"Say it", Harry said against Louis' skin.  
"I-I would have cancelled the vacation with her if that meant that I had the opportunity to be with you there"  
Harry grinned, still against Louis' soft skin, before he let go of the boy and patted his lap.  
Luckily, Louis sat down on Harry's lap and couldn't help but kiss Harry immediately. Harry smirked and returned the smaller one's kiss as his hands went to Louis' bum.  
"Harry", Louis whimpered as Harry pushed him harder against his crotch.  
"I got it right that we're alone, right?", Harry smirked and Louis nodded frantically, before he greedily put his lips on the soft ones of the older. He sighed, because he loved Harry's lips. And he loved Harry like crazy.

He had no idea how crazy he would become because of Harry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rise and shine @real Harry (in this story lmao) 
> 
> Hope you enjoyed <3
> 
> ! If you have questions/remarks, don’t be scared to comment  
> I’m happy about every Kudos and comment <3  
> All the love xx  
> @runningwatermelon  
> (Twitter: larrymelon28; Wattpad: runningwatermelon)


	6. ||4||

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Info: I will update this story every week on saturday; european time!!! xx

"Louis, are you serious?!", Whitney laughed and quickly took the bottle out of his hand.  
"What is it this time?!"  
"You can't just add olive oil to our vanilla muffins!"  
"Why?! In the recipe there is 'oil'"  
"You actually take sunflower oil for baking", she laughed and put the bottle away.  
"And you actually can just go", Louis said, crossing his arms across his chest, insulted.

"Oh, come on," she pouted before embracing him.  
"My small, cute and stupid Louis"  
"Okay", he said, pushing her away.  
"My soon freezing and annoying Whitney, because I'll throw you out right away... nobody calls me stupid. And I'm not that small!"  
She stuck out her tongue.  
"You love me too much. And hate the truth too much"  
"Yeah, and I hate you for that", Louis said, nudging her nose with a poker face after running his finger through the dough once.  
"Dumbass!", Whitney laughed and wanted to do the same, but he dodged. She ran after him laughing, but he ran around the kitchen island.  
"You're a stupid cow making fun of me, I just won't allow such a behave", Louis said cheekily grinning and stopped, she on the other side. She paused, then snorted and threw the butter they had already weighed at him.  
Louis gasped in insult when he saw the butter slipping down his sweater until it slammed all over the floor. Insulted, he reached into the dough bowl and threw a handful of dough after her, which hit her in the middle of the chest. He immediately had to laugh out loud when he saw her face.  
"Louis, are you kidding me?!"  
The voice didn't come from Whitney and he looked to the kitchen door. His laughter disappeared and he let the bowl of dough drop in a trance. Lottie rolled her eyes.  
"You're almost 16, God, so act like that!", she sighed annoyed and then looked at the dough that ran out of the bowl and was now spread on the floor, along with the butter.  
"And clean up this shit"  
Louis didn't really listen to her, he just looked at Harry, who was standing behind Lottie, his hands in his pockets. He caught sight of Louis' gaze and glanced at Whitney, who returned his stare.  
She didn't like Harry. Could not stand him because he was such an asshole.  
"That's right, not that Harry slips", she said, smiling falsely. Louis looked at her in disbelief.  
"Although he always has to pay attention to not slip", she mumbled and Lottie raised an eyebrow.  
"Come on Harry, this is too immature for me"  
With that she turned around and left. Harry gave Louis a death glare and Louis looked down at the floor. As soon as the two were gone, Louis turned angrily to his friend.  
"What the fuck?!"  
Whitney sighed.  
"Calm down, Lou"  
"No, I don't! What's going on in your mind?"  
"I was just telling the truth", Whitney said calmly, knowing Louis's demeanour when it came to Harry.  
"The guy's an asshole and if you don't tell him your opinion, I'll just tell him the opinion. Kisses up to everyone, but is actually the biggest douchebag "  
"Bad luck, nobody asked about your opinion!"  
She snorted.

"I can say my opinion whenever I want to"  
"Not if you make sure that Harry is mad at me!"  
Whitney looked at him wide-eyed.  
"Louis, come down. It wasn't that bad, and why should the dumbass be mad at you now? I said that after all"  
Louis was silent. How should he explain to her?  
"The guy hasn't talked to you since your breakup, he's not worth it", she said.  
"But I've told you that too often, when will you listen to me?"  
Louis wanted to contradict her and say that Harry was still talking to him, even doing much more to him. But he wasn't allowed to say anything. If he did, Harry wouldn't do anything with him anymore. And admittedly, Louis was also scared of Harry. Enough to say nothing. Whitney only knew that Harry had cheated on him, but not that he hadn't done that only once.  
"But Louis", Whitney said gravely now and walked over to put a hand on his shoulder.  
"Just because you love him doesn't mean that I can't hate him. And that also doesn't mean that... that he loves you back", she said softly and Louis gulped. He forced himself not to cry. Instead, he told himself what nonsense Whitney was talking about. After all, she didn't know the whole story, she guessed it all wrong.  
"Let's tidy up, I'm not feeling like baking anymore, I hadn't feeling like it from the beginning", he ignored her and bent down to pick up the bowl. Whitney wanted to say something, then sighed and let it go.

***

Whitney was a smart girl. She didn't always write the best grades, but that doesn't make one's brain intelligent. She was very loyal and always tried to protect and help the people who meant something to. So, it was good that Louis had such a person in his life. Because she knew at least a little bit what was going on in Louis' life. Although only a small thing, but that would have been enough. That would have been enough to help him. Unfortunately, it wasn't enough, what she had tried so far. Often, she had tried to distract him with other boys, trying to help him let go, telling him bad things about Harry, but nothing helped. Rather, it seemed to remove the two from each other more and bring Louis more and more to Harry. And whenever they began to argue... she just let it go. She always let it slide, because she knew it wouldn't help. But she should have fought on. If Whitney had tried it further and stronger... maybe many things would have been different.

Spiritless Louis threw the bowl into he sink.  
"I'm going to the bathroom", he only said and disappeared from the kitchen. Whitney looked after him for a moment. She knew that he had calmed down again. They were arguing more often lately. But Whitney always knew that their friendship would survive this. She was sure their friendship was still ahead of Harry for Louis. But secretly her subconscious only hoped from the bottom of her soul. Because she wasn't really sure anymore.

Louis sighed and stepped out of the bathroom. Whenever he and Whitney were arguing about Harry, he always felt guilty afterwards. Whitney's intentions were well only and if he imagined someone was pushing her around... Louis would have committed a crime long ago. But she also overreacted. It was still his life and his true love. Whether she liked it or not. But fortunately, the two knew that nothing in the world could separate them. Not even Harry.  
Well, at least that's what they thought.

***

He walked down the hall and when Harry came to meet him, he lowered his head and started to walk past him. He knew that Harry wasn't a fan of talking to him when Lottie or others were with or around. But he grabbed Louis by the arm as he tried to pass and pulled him roughly to himself.  
"What does she know?", he asked emotionlessly and Louis looked up at him, a little scared of Harry's grip.  
"What?"  
"This Whitney girl", he said and Louis frowned the way Harry spat out the name. But he said nothing. Because that was the question he always had been afraid of. That's why he didn't want Whitney to say something to Harry, it made everything suspicious. But he couldn't explain that to her, because Harry and Louis didn't even talk to each other in her eyes.  
"Uhm, not... not much"  
Harry stared at him quietly and Louis shrank a bit under that look and the strong grip. But he didn't know what would happen now; that Harry would say what he always had been afraid of the last months. What he absolutely had wanted to avoid, because he knew he wouldn't stand it.  
"Never talk to me again, we're done"  
Louis' eyes changed and Harry released him before walking past him. Immediately, Louis held him by the wrist, but Harry kept walking.  
"No, Harry, please!"  
He stopped, but only to look at Louis and say: "Never call me again, never text me again and may God have mercy with you, if you come to my house"  
"Please!", Louis pleaded desperately, feeling his heart break. He couldn't live without Harry. He already felt the emptiness that would devour him. It was the emptiness he had felt in the two days after their split, and always felt when he was away from Harry too long.  
He stopped Harry as he wanted to keep walking by standing in front of him and desperately pushing his hands against the taller's chest.  
"Do not touch me", Harry said sternly and Louis obeyed, but realized his eyes were getting wet.  
"Please don't do this", he said softly.  
"What. Does. She. Know"  
"I..."  
Louis sighed in despair.  
"I had to talk to someone about it when you... with this..."  
Harry seemed to understand.  
"I told her about our relationship and what happened... b-but I didn't say it happened many times and she won't tell anyone, I can trust her!"  
He purposely avoided the details, it was too hard for him; it was too painful to utter the words.  
"What happened many times?", Harry asked, and Louis frowned as Harry tried to drill in his wound. But he didn't contradict or defend himself. Because it was Harry.  
"That you... were not faithful to me", he said, trying to stay brave, but he couldn't look Harry in the eye, but instead looked at his chest. It hurt.  
Harry seemed satisfied with that and he stepped closer to Louis, raising his chin roughly.  
"Send her home"  
Louis frowned.  
"But-"  
"What did you not understand, you will send her home and you will be thinking all night about what you did wrong and what you could have done differently and how beautiful the world could be for you now", Harry's grip tightened, Louis squinted for a moment, not wanting to send Whitney home. He wasn't mad at her anymore and wanted to have her with him, talk to her and maybe go out to handle all of this.  
"So, you really don't care about me", Harry said and Louis' eyes opened immediately.  
"No!"  
"And why are you telling her our secret and preferring her? She insulted me earlier, so I thought you should stand on my side"  
That was complete nonsense. Harry knew exactly how much Louis loved him. But he was still angry and wanted to have this Whitney out of sight for today. And keep away from Louis.  
"No, I... I-I'm on your side!"  
Harry raised an eyebrow and Louis made a decision.  
"I'll send her home"  
Harry's mouth twitched briefly before he left Louis.  
"Leave me alone for today", he only said before finally passing Louis, who sighed sadly. But it could have been worse. Much worse. So, he turned around and said something he had never said to anyone else except to Harry.

"I love you"

Harry kept walking, ignoring it as usual, but Louis had to smile. Because he was allowed to say that to Harry. He was allowed to know Harry; he was allowed to have him in his life. And for that alone he was grateful to him and loved him. And Harry deserved to hear that as often as he could. That's why Louis did that, too. He wanted to show Harry that he was a wonderful person and was loved, even though he didn't return the feelings. Because everyone likes to hear that he is loved, right? And Louis only wanted the best for Harry. That was his mistake. But it pleased him too much to tell Harry this sentence. Not because he got back an 'I love you too', but because Harry deserved to hear that phrase and Louis wanted him to know that.

***

"There you are finally", Whitney said as Louis quietly came into the kitchen.  
"My mum just called and asked if you want to come with me, we want to enjoy the nice weather until the summer is over and we can do a barbecue and you can sleep at-"  
"You have to go", Louis interrupted calm and Whitney was silent, unsure if she had understood him correctly.  
"What?"  
"You have to go", Louis repeated and started to push Whitney to the door.  
"W-What, why?"  
Then she stopped.  
"Seriously? You're still mad, Louis? You're overreacting"  
"Just go", Louis said and his heart cracked as he saw Whiney's hurt face.  
"B-But... Huh, Louis, what's wrong with you?"  
"Just...", he said and swallowed slightly, but Whitney saw. Her eyes changed immediately.  
"Is it because of Harry? What did he do?!"  
"Nothing, you know he doesn't even talk to me, and if he does it's because he has to", Louis said.  
"And now he certainly doesn't want to do anything with me anymore"  
"This ass didn't wanted to anyway, open your eyes", Whitney said angrily now.  
"But you know what, then I'll just go if you think that soothes Harry. Do you seriously think he'll talk to you again because of this? Text me when you're back to normal", she said angrily and stormed out the door voluntarily, which she then closed.  
Louis looked at the door and couldn't stop tears from forming in his eyes. He had no choice, what should he have done? Whitney would forgive him, Harry would have left Louis' life completely, if he hadn't done what he wanted. He would have liked to say yes, ride the bike to Whitney in the warm evening sun and grill with their family, as they had often done in summer.

But then he thought of Harry. And he immediately smiled, just thinking of him. Because he had done what Harry had requested. So, he would see Harry again. For today he wasn't allowed to see, speak to or text Harry.

He went to the kitchen to clean up, but noticed that Whitney had done it all on his own. He replaced the guilt and grief by thinking of Harry again, and went upstairs to his room.

Ignoring what Harry did to his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Info: I will update this story every week on saturday; european time!!! xx
> 
> ! If you have questions/remarks, don’t be scared to comment  
> I’m happy about every Kudos and comment <3  
> All the love xx  
> @runningwatermelon  
> (Twitter: larrymelon28; Wattpad: runningwatermelon)


	7. ||5||

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wanted to add, that this fanfiction was my first Larry fanfiction lmao. I started writing it 2018 I think. So please don't compare it to my other fanfiction that I'm writing currently. Enjoy xx

Louis was also good friends with Niall. The blonde had come back from vacation today and invited Louis in the evening. He was too happy to say yes, because he had not seen the blonde forever.

Niall had an awful lot to tell about America, and Louis listened intently but jealously too. He also wanted to go to America. Although he didn't like the attitude of many people there and not to mention Trump.

"And the food was so tasty", Niall gushed and Louis' eyes began to glow. They both shared a love for food. It sounded stupid, but by this togetherness they had become friends. Louis and Niall were standing in line in the cafeteria, one after the other, when a friend of Niall's got upset over the food. Louis had then whispered to Whitney: "I don't think it's great, but food is still food, so I'd rather eat that than nothing". Niall had laughed and turned to him before beginning to rave about where they liked to eat. They went into each other's parallel class, and when they sat down to lunch each other, Whitney began to like Niall, too. They always met in the beginning to show each other their favourite shop when it came to food.

"But at some point, all that deep-fried stuff is enough, that's really not a cliché, they really do fry everything"  
Louis laughed and then pouted.  
"I want, too"  
Niall immediately grinned and got up from his bed where they were sitting.  
"I knew you would say that, so I brought this for you"  
"My own fryer?!"  
Niall looked at him annoyed.  
"Your mum would kill me, how many times have you wished for one?"  
Pouting, Louis crossed his arms over his chest. Niall was right, Louis' mother refused to buy a fryer, because she probably knew Louis would eat even more unhealthily. Suddenly she was interested in him when it came to this.  
"That's so unfair! Why can't I have one?! The Styles' also have one"  
"Just steal it, they always cook themselves"  
"Niall... that's the best idea you've ever had", Louis said enthusiastically and Niall laughed. Niall knew that Louis liked Harry, that's all. So, he thought that he had had a crush on the elder for a year and just liked him a lot.  
"Here you are", Niall said, dropping a box in front of Louis. It was a little bigger than a shoebox.  
"Is not a fryer, but still meshes with you"  
Louis raised an eyebrow in question. A package, with something from America, that meshed with him? What was in there, a pastel pink dildo?  
He opened it and was immediately enthusiastic.  
"Niii!", he shouted happily, before he threw himself on the blonde and pulled him on the bed.  
"Thank you, thank you, thank you!"  
Niall just laughed and Louis sat up again to rummage through the box full of sweets and snacks.  
"These are all sweets and snacks, which I found the best from America, you can't buy here"  
"You're the befft", Louis said with his mouth full, because he had already torn open the first bag of marshmallows covered in chocolate.  
"I know, and I have to show you something in a moment", Niall said excitedly.  
"I would have shown you directly, but we still have to wait"  
"Why so?"  
"Whitney should be here every minute"  
Louis' expression dropped and he stopped chewing for a moment. Niall noticed this reaction.  
"What happened, did you fight?"  
Louis chewed on and shook his head.  
"No, no matter. We had a little argument, but that's all"  
"Hm, okay?", Niall said and laughed uncertainly.  
"No matter what, my surprise will weld you together anyway, because it is so great!"  
Louis chuckled and hoped that Whitney wasn't mad at him anymore.

When it rang, Niall ran to the door and Louis nervously stuffed another marshmallow in his mouth. He heard them talking in the hallway and picked up his phone to look busy. He clicked on the chat with him and Harry. Of course, he hadn't texted him the previous day, but today he was allowed to, right...? Uncertain he looked at the keyboard. He hadn't wanted to bother him and didn't text him, hoping the older would do it first. He sighed sadly when he saw that Harry came online, but did not change the 'online' to '...' .

At that moment, Niall poked his head into the room.  
"Come on!"  
Louis sighed and got up, but took his marshmallows as mental support with him. He already loved them now. He followed Niall into the kitchen where Whitney stood. He smiled uncertainly and she hugged him tightly without words.  
"Lou," she just said and he knew she wasn't mad at him anymore.  
"Hi", he said softly, hugging her tightly. Niall just grinned and then pointed to something up in one of the shelves. Louis frowned, but broke away from Whitney in disbelief when he recognized the device.  
"Are you fucking serious?!"  
Niall started to laugh and happily jumped up and down.  
"You're just as greedy for food as me, why can you have a fryer?!", Louis grumbled, but Niall grinned.  
"Rejoice, you don't have to rob the Styles"  
Whitney groaned annoyed.  
"Can we not talk about them, please?"  
Louis bit his lip and Niall frowned. But before he could speak, she continued.  
"And why are you doing such a drama because of a deep fryer?"  
"Okay, you won't get your souvenir from America", Niall crossed his arms in insult.  
"Souvenir?", Whitney smiled directly and then Louis put a marshmallow in his mouth.  
"I got a box full of food", he chewed, and Whitney raised an eyebrow.  
"Who would have thought that Niall brings you food?"  
Louis and Niall looked pleased and their friend rolled her eyes.  
"As if Louis wouldn't eat enough already"  
"Hey", he said pouting and she laughed.  
"Here you are", Niall said, and she tore the pallet out of his hand.  
"Are you crazy?!"  
Niall looked at her questioningly.  
"Shouldn't I have bought you this-"  
"Are you crazy?!"  
"Am I crazy because I brought it or because I asked if I- "  
"You're the best!", Whitney said, hugging him happily.  
"That would have cost so much because of the shipping on the Internet"  
"I know", Niall grinned and Louis nodded.  
"You're not talking about anything else, but maybe the effort was worth it and it makes you more beautiful"  
She stuck out her tongue.  
"Thanks small Tum-linson. Maybe Niall should have brought you some fruit"  
"From America?", Niall asked uncertainly and she rolled her eyes.  
"I don't care, I want to fry something now", Louis said annoyed by the make-up talk.  
"What about a test item?", he asked.  
"Hmm", he then took the pallet from Whitney's hand.  
"Perfect, then that's something to use"  
"Oh, shut up, how about your phone?"  
Louis gasped indignantly.  
"Let my baby out of this!"  
"Out of the matter or out of the fryer?", Niall asked and laughed out loud. Louis and Whitney looked at each other silently and she raised an eyebrow.  
"I actually thought I had missed you, but certainly not your jokes", she then said and Niall pouted.  
"Just because you have no sense of humour. And now I want to fry"  
He took down the kitchen utensil and walked to a grocery bag that stood on the floor.  
"I've bought so much to fry!"  
"Omg, goals", Louis immediately ran to the bag and in a matter of seconds they had thrown all things on the kitchen table. From donuts, cream puffs, candy bars, sweet potato fries and zucchini everything was laid out on the table. Whitney had to smile as she watched the two boys talk overblown about what they would fry first and what would certainly taste the best. They really were completely in their element. And she was happy, as apparently the two guys also, tonight together after such a long time. And this time nothing would come in between.

***

"Alright, fried vegetables are the best thing in the world", Louis groaned and Whitney laughed.  
"Orgasm or what?"  
"Foodgasm", Louis nodded, eating another piece of zucchini.  
"I have to say I was fed up with the fried stuff at some point, but it's still awesome", Niall said and Louis nodded immediately. Then he looked at his phone again and saw that he had a message from Harry. His heart jumped immediately.

Haz <3: What are you doing?

Normally, Louis would have given a cheeky response, like 'hello, yes my day was nice, how are you?', but he was far too happy. Besides, it was Harry.

Louis: I'm at Niall's

Harry came online and Louis had to smile as he wrote directly. That meant he had come online to read his message. He didn't realize that he was so happy about such trifles. Too happy.  
He also didn't listened to the conversation between Whitney and Niall, because he didn't want to keep Harry waiting. He had written the first message fifteen minutes ago at all.

Haz <3: Why are you only answering now?

Louis: I wasn't on the phone, I'm sorry

With others, Louis would have mocked the person that he wasn't on the phone 24/7. But it was Harry.

Haz <3: With whom?

Louis: ?

Haz <3: Are you with Niall

Louis hesitated.  
"I'll be right back", he said quickly, grabbing his marshmallows and getting up.  
"Is everything all right?", Whitney asked and he nodded with a smile and went quickly to Niall's room, where he sat down on the bed.  
Should he tell Harry that Whitney was here, too? Would he be angry then? But why should he? After all, Louis hadn't done anything wrong and Harry didn't say that he should ignore her forever.

Louis: With Whitney

Unconsciously, Louis repressed that if Harry wrote to him now, that he had done something wrong, that he would automatically agree. Even though he first thought he had done nothing wrong. Nervously, Louis ate one marshmallow after another.  
Harry didn't write back, but was online. Immediately, Louis was afraid and felt the desperation that spread in him at such moments.

Louis: What are you doing?

He didn't care if he was annoying, Harry had texted him first after all. Relieved, he looked at the '...' .

Haz <3: Vanessa invited me, will go in 30 minutes

Louis gulped. Vanessa... wasn't this... Louis remembered. It had been Vanessa when Harry had been in the bar. The girl Louis saw Harry cheating on him with. He gripped the phone harder. Then he got another message.

Haz <3: But before that I wanted to go in the pool... it may be that I forget the time, it depends

Louis understood immediately, because he knew Harry and his allusions by now. But he didn't want to go now, how could he explain to Niall and Whitney? He was so grateful to her that everything was back to normal and Niall hadn't seen him forever. The three weren't even finished with the food. And to Harry's house, he would need about twenty or twenty-five minutes by bike from Niall if he hurried. But he didn't want to cancel Harry. He would have to be half dead to deny Harry. So, he took a heart and collected all his courage.

Louis: Would be okay in two hours?

He knew he wouldn't get that much time, but maybe Harry was in a good mood and would give him some more time?

Haz <3: Sure

Louis blinked and read again. Then he smiled. Harry was in a good mood? He didn't expect that... Harry really wanted to spend time with him and not with that shitty Vanessa. But then he got another message.

Haz <3: I put the house key under the mat in front of the door, you know where the pool is. Don't know, why you want to swim alone, although you also have a pool, but as you wish

Louis' smile disappeared and he sighed in disappointment. He had really believed that Harry would take some consideration of him. But why should he? It was only Louis.

Haz <3: Am I in the retirement home, desperately waiting for someone to visit? I'll be gone in 30 minutes

And then he was offline. Louis realized he was about to cry. But he wiped his eyes, grabbed his little backpack, and walked quickly into the kitchen, where Whitney and Niall were happily talking. They looked at him at the same time and when Whitney saw the backpack on his back, she frowned.  
"Guys, I have to go", Louis said, but he didn't manage to suppress his grief.  
" What?! But we wanted to fry the cream puffs and donuts now!", Niall said indignantly.  
"And what about the chocolate bars?!"  
"I-I know, Niall, I'm sorry too", Louis said, already saying that it was just a joke and he was supposed to throw in the cream puffs right away. But then he remembered Harry and he had to leave immediately if he wanted to make it. Harry wouldn't wait for him.  
"Why do you have to go?", Whitney asked and looked at him suspiciously.  
"Uh, Lottie has problems, it's about Ryan"  
"Stress in paradise?", Niall asked and he nodded.  
"See you", he said, hugging Niall and then Whitney.

Before she could ask or say anything, he was already out of the kitchen and out of the apartment.

***

Outside, he quickly swung himself on his bike and rode to Harry as fast as his legs and the traffic lights allowed. He threw the bike somewhere in the driveway and looked under the mat. The key was still there, but he trusted Harry to leave it there so that Louis would go in unnecessarily and would see disappointed that Harry was already gone.

Since Louis didn't know exactly what time it was, he didn't know if it was too late. So, he hurriedly opened and then slammed the door. He was still panting with exertion and his throat ached from the cool breeze, because it had cooled down pretty much that night. He didn't take off his shoes, because maybe he could leave immediately. He turned on the lights for the stairs and hurried up. Unfortunately, he didn't know which pool Harry was in because the house had two: a second-floor infinity pool on the large deck, and Harry had a jacuzzi on the third floor on his balcony. So first, he ran to the second floor and to the patio door, but Harry wasn't there. So he turned and started to run up the third flight of stairs, banging on the middle against Harry and would have fallen backwards if the older boy hadn't grabbed him quickly by the waist.

"Hi", the smaller one said completely out of breath and still completely frightened by the half-dead. And this time he was out of breath for all the sport here, not for Harry's beauty. Although the brown-haired one looked incredible in his red, loose shirt, the upper buttons were opened to his butterfly tattoo, his tight jeans and his soft hair and his face and his lips, on which Louis looked again. And he was so happy because he was here with Harry and he made it.

"Wanted to go in two minutes", Harry smirked, hadn't expected Louis to make it. But he underestimated how much Louis loved him and what he would do for the taller. Louis himself was in heaven, because Harry's smell alone brought him to cloud nine. While he himself had the feeling by cycling and the food just to look like an ugly duckling, Harry once again looked like a model.

"Yeah, into the pool", Louis said and immediately kissed Harry, who smirked.  
"Did you... eat chocolate?", Harry asked confusedly against Louis' lips and he blushed. Harry saw that and had to laugh a little.  
"Come", he said, and Louis immediately reached for Harry's warm hand, which was pleasantly warming Louis' cold. He just mumbled "Marshmallows" and Harry chuckled again.

***

Louis stopped in Harry's room and looked around. He hadn't been here for a long time, and whenever he was, he was so happy. Because he was allowed to be here, where Harry had grown up, where he slept, changed and okay, Louis was maybe a bit creepy.  
"You sorted out?", Louis asked when he saw the open closet and several boxes of clothes in it.  
"Hm?", Harry turned questioningly, then followed Louis's gaze.  
"Oh no, my closet is too small and i was bored of it. We put a connecting door in the wall next to the guest room next to me, which then becomes my closet. One less guest room doesn't hurt, I decided, and I'm jealous of Gemmas walk-in closet, I want a much larger one"  
Louis couldn't help but smile. Harry always wanted more and nothing was enough for him. He was pretty spoiled for that. Of course, Louis was in a way too, but his parents didn't do everything for him, if only to make him shut up. Harry got everything he wanted just because Anne loved him so much. And Harry always got what he wanted. Maybe that's why he was the way he was. He always wanted to get what he wanted. No matter what. And by that he only paid attention to himself.

But Louis loved that, too. He even found it cute in a way, how demanding he was and how his closet did not satisfy him, he was jealous of his sister's closet and therefore acted by simply grabbing a guest room.  
"Prince Harry gets what he wants again?"  
Harry raised an eyebrow, but had to grin. Louis chuckled.  
"It's true. Your closet is bigger than some other people's room and you're still not happy with it"  
Harry chuckled and came up to stand very close to him.  
"Do you want to continue talking about closets and other people's rooms?", he asked, putting his hands on his own shirt to undo the remaining buttons. As if mesmerized, Louis immediately looked at his hands.  
"No...", Louis said serious again. When the shirt was open, he couldn't help but stroke Harry's chest. His skin was so soft and warm and God, Harry was perfect. He was not too thin, but not too muscular. His abdominal muscles were recognizable, but he still didn't only consist of skin and bones. How did he do that?! He traced the butterfly and didn't see Harry rolling his eyes. This was too slow for his liking, but Louis had ridden to him that quickly, so maybe he had earned the brief moment in his little world.

For Louis, this was the highlight of the day because Harry had never given him that much time again after their split. Louis could look at Harry forever, he would never get enough of the older one. He was so fascinated by him. He stroked his broad shoulders and pushed the shirt off his body. He only saw Harry's bare chest and wondered if Anne had made a pact with God and had been given birth to the most beautiful man in the world. What had happened to his genes?! You should investigate that biologically. But enough of it. The fact was that Harry could work as a model and so all the models in the world would lose their jobs.

"You're so beautiful", Louis sighed dreamily and Harry chuckled again before taking Louis' hip and pulling him towards him.  
"By the way, I haven't forgotten the meeting with Vanessa yet, so you're coming in the pool now or what?", he said in his ear and then nibbled on it, making Louis sigh. He immediately nodded and put his hand on the taller one's chest.  
"Um, I don't have swimming-"  
"Did I say you needed one?", Harry asked, who had already went to the balcony door and opened his belt there and undressed his pants and underpants. Gosh, what a view. Louis drooled at the sight, then pulled his shirt over his head as Harry went outside and climbed into the lighted hot tub. Louis went down the first step and wanted to go down the next, but didn't see through the bubbles where it was, so he stood on the other and half slipped half stumbled and fell into the small pool. Although he fell seated on his butt, he completely submerged, because he landed at the bottom of the glands. He sat up quickly on the stairs, one higher than the one on which Harry was sitting, as he was smaller and gasped. Harry threw his head back and started laughing. And though Louis' foot and butt hurt and his nose and lungs burned because of the water, he couldn't help but smile at Harry. He loved it when Harry laughed so carefree. For the moment it felt like the days when they had been together.

There had been a lot of embarrassing things for Louis, too, because he was just clumsy, and already then, Harry had laughed at him that way.  
"Ouwie", he said then and Harry had regained some composure, but still laughed slightly. Then he saw Louis' pain-grimaced face and squinted, laughing more when he saw the action again in his head.  
"Fuck, you should have seen that!"  
"Ha ha", Louis pouted with a flushed face and coughed, his throat still burning so uncomfortable. If anyone wonders how a throat can burn comfortably, if it was Harry's cock that made his throat hurt, then that was no problem for Louis. To make that clear for a moment.

"Why are you like that?", Harry laughed a little more quietly and Louis looked back to him, then to the dimple. Why was every little thing about Harry just so special and beautiful?  
"I'm glad that you enjoy yourself so much, and yes, I'm fine, thanks", he could not help but snap and Harry raised his eyebrows in surprise.  
"Oh, we letting the bitch hang out again?"  
Louis bit his lip with a grin, because Harry really seemed to be in a good mood.  
"Maybe, she hasn't reported in a long time"  
Harry leaned over, smirking, and Louis's gaze became more serious again, and he stared at the older boy's lips.  
"Yeah, because I don't like her", Harry said quietly, his smirk widening when he saw Louis' greedy look on his lips. He leaned in and Louis closed his eyes as he felt Harry's breath on his lips. But then Harry leaned back and sat back down normally, grinning as Louis opened his eyes in confusion.  
"I won't kiss you", he grinned and Louis crossed his arms over his chest.  
"I won't either"  
He didn't know where his self-confidence came from, sometimes the bitch in him even came out in front of Harry.  
"Okay", Harry said, believing him not a single bit. He looked up at the sky and saw Louis' eyes on him out of the corner of his eye. He took his lower lip between his teeth, then released it and then licked over it. That alone made Louis weak, for they were so full and beautiful. He sighed desperately and turned Harry's face to kiss him. It had been clear to both of them that Louis wouldn't last long, because he didn't always get the chance to kiss Harry.

Niall and Whitney long forgotten.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts on Niall?
> 
> ! If you have questions/remarks, don’t be scared to comment  
> I’m happy about every Kudos and comment <3  
> All the love xx  
> @runningwatermelon  
> (Twitter: larrymelon28; Wattpad: runningwatermelon)  
> Updates on saturdays


	8. ||6||

The next morning it was Harry who woke up first. As always, because Harry had the feeling that Louis could sleep inhumanly long. Even when they had been together, it had always been Harry who had first awakened and made breakfast. Louis had loved it so much, he missed it every morning.  
Harry rubbed his eyes and yawned. He started to get up and slipped a bit away from Louis, but he frowned as he slept and immediately slipped behind, his arms tightening around Harry's chest. Harry sighed and dropped back into the pillow. For a few minutes he could keep laying here, he was too tired to take a shower right now anyway.  
So Harry laid in his bed for a while, staring silently at the ceiling until he took his phone from his bedside table. Vanessa had tried to call him. He hadn't lied to Louis; he and Vanessa really would have met yesterday. However, she had been at Liam's with a few people. But Liam texted him annoyed that his flame Cheryl and Vanessa were laughing about being on their period at the same time. And Harry had absolutely no desire to deal with them; he was so grateful to Liam for inadvertently making it clear to him that it would be utterly unnecessary to go there. And what should he say, the advantage of Louis was that he never had his period. He sometimes bitched like a girl, had an ass and waist, which many girls were jealous of for sure, and had a bitch in him, which he let hang out sometimes; but he had practically never had his period. And yes, he didn't always feel like sex, but who was Harry if he couldn't bring him to it anyway?

He still found it amusing to see how Louis had come to him and arrived completely exhausted because he was so frightened that he would drive to Vanessa. He might have gone to Liam and hoped to meet some new people, but that was a lot easier. That was why he had been glad that Louis had arrived in time, but in no way as Louis would interpret it now.

Now Harry got up and heard Louis mumble something, but contented himself with hugging the blanket instead of Harry and cuddling with it. Harry rolled his eyes and went to the bathroom to take a shower.  
He hadn't thought that Louis and he would still be in contact after Louis had caught him cheating. He had thought Louis would make a riot with crying, shouting and all the shit. He had cried in the end, but it had been less anger but more despair.  
Harry had understood when the smaller one showed up at Harry's home and desperately tried to save their relationship only two days later. He ended up still getting involved with Harry and Harry had to admit the sex with Louis was good. Really good. Better than he had expected from Louis last year, when he had decided that he would deflower this little boy.

Harry dried himself and put on sweatpants. He didn't put on a shirt; it was warm enough. And he enjoyed watching Louis' reaction and stares. He sat down on the bed and looked at his phone again, but in the end, he was laying on the mattress again. This time Louis even left him in peace.

***

Slowly Louis opened his eyes and got used to the light. The first thing he saw was Harry's bare back and he immediately smiled. He loved to wake up next to him, but by now it was far too rare for his taste. He slid closer to the taller one and cuddled against his warm back, one arm around him and his eyes closed again. He had become accustomed to being the big spoon.  
He still wasn't sure why Harry enjoyed being the little spoon. He directly had thought that Harry was the one who held the other in his arms and not that he was the one who was held in the other's arms. And Louis was also sure that Harry played the big spoon with every woman he was in bed with. If he ever slept with her in a bed, or somehow held her.  
But when Louis and Harry had been together, it had gotten that way, and Louis realized that Harry preferred that and felt better with it. Louis thought it was cute and he didn't care if he practically played Harry's backpack because he was so small, because the main thing was that it was Harry, he was holding.

Louis took a deep breath to inhale Harry's smell even more and he smelt of the shower gel that Louis knew Harry always used. He opened his eyes and didn't hold back kissing the shoulder blade in front of him. He knew that Harry was already awake, and not just because of the shower gel, which indicated that he had showered. Harry was always awake first and Louis's stomach tingled at the thought that Harry had laid back down next to him after a shower. He misinterpreted that, but he'd gotten used to interpreting Harry's actions in a way that made Louis happy and meant that Louis still meant something to Harry (although he never even did).

"Already awake?", Harry said and Louis sighed at the sound of his voice, squeezing himself so close to the boy that you might think his life depended on it. But the older one rolled his eyes and started to leave and Louis whined a bit, clinging to him harder.  
"Louis", Harry said annoyed and he could easily have taken the grip of the smaller one, but he didn't feel like applying that kind of unnecessary force.  
"I'm hungry and how I know you, you too. So let me go and then come downstairs"  
Louis whined again, a little softer this time, and his grip loosened, allowing Harry to get up. Harry felt Louis's gaze on him as he went out.

Louis sighed and couldn't bring himself to take a shower. While it was great to take a shower with Harry's shampoo, lying in Harry's bed and being surrounded by his smell was even more tempting. So he cuddled into the pillows and pulled the blanket over himself.  
The thought of how many women Harry had probably slept with in this bed, he repressed unconsciously. Because as already mentioned, he did this without noticing it.

Then a phone rang and Louis had thought it was his own. But then he recognized the ringtone and knew it was Harry's. First he wanted to call Harry, but then decided against it. His fear and jealousy triumphed as he looked at the phone and read Vanessa's name. He immediately declined and lay down again.  
Stupid bitch

Then, when his stomach growled, he got up to take a shower. He now knew where everything was.

***

When he was done and returned to Harry's room, he was about to take a shirt from Harry. He loved that they were bigger than his own, smelt of Harry and were just... well Harry's. But he didn't want to upset him and put his own clothes back on.

Harry apparently had the same idea as Louis, because when Louis came to the kitchen, he looked at him first, was then satisfied that he was wearing his own clothes. Especially at the beginning of their relationship, Louis had done that so many times and honestly, Harry wasn't a clothes rental, Louis had enough clothes and especially money.  
Louis sat happily on the kitchen island and watched Harry as usual.  
"What are you making?", Louis asked curiously, sensing a smell he'd never smelled before when Harry had made breakfast.  
"Try it", was Harry's answer and he stood between Louis' legs, a plate in his hand with something out of dough, cut into small pieces. Louis put his legs around his waist without control to pull him as close as possible. Harry rolled his eyes, but without a comment he speared a piece with a fork and held it out to Louis.  
Louis looked at him wide-eyed, but took the fork in his mouth, without interrupting the eye contact, which made Harry chuckle. He pulled the fork from his mouth and Louis chewed, frowning for a moment, never having eaten anything like that before. However, the consistency was the same as it always was with Harry's pancakes, so at least he knew what it was. And only in the consistency he had to sigh. Yes, he loved food.  
"What's that?", he asked and Harry laughed as Louis reached for the fork and the plate and with two movements, he had stuffed the rest into his mouth.  
"Thanks for letting me try it, too", he rolled his eyes but smiled. Louis was so ridiculous.  
The smaller one rolled his eyes as well.  
"As if there weren't enough. And you certainly ate the dough"  
Harry raised an eyebrow.  
"First, I don't know if there's enough to eat because your will eat with me, and secondly, I'm not you and eat half the dough raw. If I always did this, I would look different as often as I bake"  
"Ha ha", Louis said, handing Harry the cutlery.  
He knew that Harry didn't want to hurt him, but that it was fun. And if he really wanted to hurt him; Louis didn't see it negative anyway, but told himself that it was teasing.  
"Maybe you look that way, but nobody tells you and you're too conceited to see it?"  
"Tell Louise to fuck off", Harry said, pushing Louis' legs off to make more pancakes.  
Louis frowned sadly. Harry always called this bitch side of Louis 'Louise'. He had once told him that he acted like an annoying girl and let his bitch hang out. But Louis couldn't help it, it sometimes came out, even with Harry. Immediately he jumped off the counter and hugged Harry from behind.  
"You're not conceited, and you're perfect, no idea how you can look like this and have a body like this, I love you, Haz"  
Harry rolled his eyes. Of course, he had known that.  
He had also known that Louis would feel bad right now and apologize. But when Louis used the word 'conceited' to describe Harry, Harry had known that he would take it back straight away.  
"I know and now set the table", he said just as annoyed as he was and Louis sighed briefly before doing what Harry had said.  
He was happy again, because Harry had said that he knew it. He knew that Louis loved him and he deserved it, too. Harry knew that he wasn't conceited, and that Louis didn't think so, because Harry deserved that as well.*

***

"What are these pancakes again?"  
"Pumpkin Spice Pancakes"  
Then probably the pumpkin had been what Louis had never eaten in a pastry before in the form.  
"How do you come up with something like that?", he asked and put another piece in his mouth. God, he had the feeling that Harry could cook or bake anything and it went well. Never in his life would he had thought that a pancake with pumpkin could taste good.  
"I just got a new recipe book with recipes for fall", Harry said.  
"They're fine, I-"  
"All right, Harry, how can I like a pastry with pumpkin?!"  
Harry chuckled.  
"Everything tastes good to you"  
"Nonsense, I like-"  
"Except coriander, pure ginger and... what else was it? Ah yes, scallions"  
Louis put his head on his hand and looked at him dreamily.  
"You remember that?"  
"You know that I keep in mind something like that", the older one replied and didn't mean it the way that Louis interpreted it. Because he immediately got this tingling sensation in his stomach, which he always got in such situations. Louis looked down at his knees and saw his scar through the hole in his jeans. He had to smile.  
"Do you remember when I almost crashed a car because you scared me so much?", he automatically asked without thinking. Mistake.  
"We're not talking about this time, Louis", Harry continued without looking up. Louis just nodded and stroked the scar, which would forever remind him of the time. He wore much worse and deeper scars. These were in him and he didn't notice. Not yet.  
"And besides, I didn't scare you", Harry murmured annoyed.  
"I was honking and you only freaked out when you saw that it was me"  
"You noticed that?"  
"Of course, I've noticed everything you've done back then. As if I didn't realize how you always looked at me or ran to the door so that it would be you opening it for me"  
Louis should have been hurt, but he had to smile. Because it pleased him that Harry remembered all this and just thinking back to the time when the world had been so easy and beautiful for him. With this other Harry, who had treated him so sweetly.  
"I still have the scar", Louis said, still smiling slightly.  
"And?", Harry sighed and Louis looked at him silently.  
"Nothing", he finally said quietly, before pushing his plate away. He had no idea why, but he was not hungry anymore. He didn't realize that his stomach had cramped because he was hurt inside. But it didn't want to get in his head. Maybe it would never.

At that moment, they heard the key in the front door and how it opened. Louis immediately looked at Harry, who stopped chewing.  
"Oh, good morning you two. What are you doing here, Louis?", Anne stood there surprised in the door frame.  
"Hi Anne, um-"  
"Girl problems again, huh?"  
Louis didn't understand for a moment, but then he nodded, smiling slightly.  
"Uh, yes, you know me"  
Anne sighed and stood behind Harry with her hands on his shoulders.  
"Someday you will find your dream girl, Louis. I'm sure about that"  
Louis smiled at her. She had no idea that he had already found his dream man and that it was her beloved son.  
"Maybe after my sweetheart Harry has", Anne said now, stroking Harry's hair. Harry rolled his eyes.  
"Mum"  
She laughed slightly and then looked at their plates.  
"Smells good, sweetheart, what did you make?"  
Harry got up and took the plates to put in the sink.  
"Pumpkin Spice Pancakes - a recipe from the new book"  
Anne wrinkled her nose and looked at Louis.  
"And you give that to our guest? Louis, I thought you had my taste?"  
Louis had to laugh.  
"No, they were really good! I didn't think so either, but they sound healthier than they taste"  
"Well, then I'm reassured, because Harry sometimes has a funny taste"  
"Not true", Harry said, somewhat annoyed. Louis' laugh fell, because he knew that Harry didn't like how well he got along with Anne. Louis had always imagined how nice it would be if Harry and Louis came out to Anne and she was happy because Louis was her dream son-in-law.  
"Why are you so annoyed today?", Anne asked worriedly and stroked his shoulder. She loved her son, as you could tell from every conversation she had with her son. But how could you not love Harry?  
"I'm tired and I want my walk-in closet now"  
Diva, Louis thought, stopping himself from rolling his eyes. He sounded like a little kid. Anne sighed.  
"What should I do if these guys only have time for it the day after tomorrow? There are other people with other problems than you with your closet you don't need actually"  
She didn't say that annoyed, but lovingly, which was perhaps Anne's problem. She couldn't be angry with him. Then she began to radiate and turned to Louis.

"Louis, when you're here!"  
Oh no, Louis thought immediately and looked briefly at Harry, who now became attentive and already looked admonishingly at Louis.  
"I have tickets for the opera the day after tomorrow, but Gemma has cancelled and Jay said you should go with us and... don't look at me like that, it's a great opera"  
But this wasn't the reason why Louis looked scared. He looked scared because he saw Harry's gaze standing behind Anne. He almost pierced Louis with his eyes.  
"I, um... thank you, Anne, but that will not work"  
"Oh, why? Jay said you've got time", Anne asked disappointed and Harry folded his arms across his chest.  
"Uh, yes, no, but... I'm up to something"  
Louis had never been good at lying and he really wanted to go there. Just because he could possibly sit next to Harry.  
"Just say you don't feel like it", Anne laughed, but there was slight disappointment in her voice.  
"Anne, no, I... I really would like to!", he said and Anne looked at him in surprise when she saw grief in Louis' eyes.  
"Louis, what's up?"  
Harry cleared his throat again as a warning to Louis, before he began to put the plates and cutlery in the dishwasher.  
"N-nothing... I just don't want you to think that I don't want to go, I would tell you if I didn't want to go because I really want to go," he emphasized extra for Harry. Maybe he would give in? But he only closed the dishwasher, leaned against the counter with folded arms in front of his chest and looked at Louis emotionless. The younger gulped and looked at his hands. No chance, he wouldn't allow him to go.  
"Hm, all right, I believe you", Anne said and then sighed.  
"Do you think Lottie would be interested in coming?"  
Louis's head shot straight up and he saw Harry smirking behind Anne. Yes, he was a little sadist when it came to Louis. Louis swallowed.  
"I-I don't know... I don't think she-"  
"Lottie, yes, she sure wants to come with us. Haven't seen her in a while, then we can go out after the opera or something", Harry said and smiled sweetly as Anne looked at him.  
"Then would you please ask her, sweetheart?", Anne nodded, before she turned back to Louis, whereupon Harry's gaze changed again.  
"Anyway, I'm upstairs. Take care, Louis"  
Louis just nodded silently and even got a smile on his lips. He was feeling miserable.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you think about it so far? 
> 
> ! If you have questions/remarks, don’t be scared to comment  
> I’m happy about every Kudos and comment <3  
> All the love xx  
> @runningwatermelon  
> (Twitter: larrymelon28; Wattpad: runningwatermelon)


	9. ||7||

As soon as Anne was upstairs, Harry looked at Louis.  
"Don't look at me like that", he said just before turning to rinse the used pan. Louis jumped up and stood next to him.  
"Please!"  
"Since when do you care about the opera?"  
"And since when is Lottie interested in it?", Louis bitched and Harry grinned again.  
"Oh she isn't? Hm, what a crap"  
"Why can't I come with you?", Louis asked, clutching Harry's upper arm to snuggle up to him.  
"You annoy me", Harry rolled his eyes and pushed Louis away a little. Louis sighed, but said nothing more. Harry wouldn"t give in anyway. So he shut up and walked out of the kitchen.  
"And what are you doing now?", Harry asked, still with an annoyed undertone.  
"I'll pack my stuff", Louis said, whispering a quiet "diva" after, which Harry didn't hear of course, why he had to giggle. Out of breath, because Harry's room was on the third floor, Louis came upstairs. He finally threw himself back on the bed, sighing, breathing in Harry's smell. When Harry reached the top, all he saw was Louis' back as Louis laid face down on the pillows. He smirked and leaned against the doorframe, his eyes on Louis' bum.  
"Didn't you want to pack your stuff?"  
Louis whined briefly and Harry rolled his eyes.  
"I have to call Lottie now, so I'd say you're going home"  
Louis sat up and pushed his lower lip forward. Unfortunately, that didn't work for Harry, who grabbed his phone from the bedside table and frowned.  
"Louis", he growled and Louis looked up at him questioningly.  
"Were you on my phone?"  
"N-no, why?"  
"Don't lie to me", he said a bit angrier now, and Louis flinched.  
"But you-"  
"What?!"  
Louis was silent and looked at his knees.  
"Do you think I'm stupid? As if she's not asking why I'm declining her call", Harry said, texting Vanessa an excuse.  
"I'm sorry", Louis said quietly, then looked up to see how Harry looked at his phone and smiled again. He couldn't help it; he was so stunning. So he spread his arms and hoped for a cuddle, but Harry put his phone to his ear.  
"Go home, I have enough of you", was the last thing he said before his voice became nicer.  
"Hey Lottie, how are you?"  
Louis looked at him hurt, but the taller one ignored him and walked past him, onto his balcony. Louis heard Harry talk about the opera and he looked sadly at him.  
But Louis got up, took his things and went downstairs.  
"Louis, are you going?", he heard Anne behind him and looked up as she stood at the bottom of the stairs he was going down.  
"Um, yes, homework calls", he said and Anne frowned.  
"But nothing's wrong, right? Do I have to worry?"  
"What? No", Louis said and managed to laugh. Anne nodded, finally believing him because she was smiling.

***

At home Louis closed the front door when he heard Lottie's voice in the kitchen.  
"But Camille, it's Harry"  
He immediately rolled his eyes. He definitely had enough of this Camille. Camille was a too confident girl, who unfortunately had become friends with Lottie and was now more and more squeezing herself into her life, just to get better access to Harry. Didn't his sister notice?!  
"Oh, he declined Vanessa's call?", he heard her and listened immediately. How quickly did something like that spread?  
"What did he say? Well, then that's probably true, Harry is way too sweet to lie to someone... yeah, shut up, you don't even have to say something about how he is in bed"  
Louis clenched his fists and went to the kitchen. Camille was a hoe like everyone else. They only wanted physical things from him, he didn't deserve that! But Louis didn't really know if it only had been an allusion from or if she really knew how Harry was in bed. But Harry didn't sleep with his friends/people in this circle of friends, right?

"Oh God, Louis", Lottie jumped and then laughed.  
"I almost blurted something out what you don't really have to hear "  
She listened briefly to Camille and then laughed.  
"He is 15 ,Mill, so still a baby"  
Louis snorted and crossed his arms over his chest. Lottie had no idea. And not this Camille anyway.  
"In conclusion, I have to think about it again. After all, it's Harry", Lottie said, then laughed before saying goodbye to Camille. Louis' stomach cramped and he sat down at the table.  
"What's the matter?"  
She sighed and sat down opposite him.  
"Harry called me and asked if I want to go to the opera the day after tomorrow. They have a ticket left, but I and Ryan agreed to visit his family because-"  
"As if Ryan doesn't come first then", Louis said immediately and Lottie sighed, not noticing Louis' hope.  
"Yeah, but... it's Harry, Louis. You certainly don't understand that, but... yeah"  
"You have a boyfriend", Louis said unemotionally and Lottie said nothing. Then she sighed after looking at Louis for a moment.  
"Oh, Loubou, you're right, you know? You tiny, innocent little angel. I'm going to focus on my boyfriend and go along with it, I just say no to Harry and make myself look unreachable, hehe"  
Louis rolled his eyes.  
"Tiny innocent angel?"  
"Yeah", Lottie said with a giggle and jumped up to hug him.  
"My little bunnyboo is too pure and innocent to understand the big wide world"  
"Who said I'm innocent?"  
"Just don't try, Lou", Lottie laughed, giving him a kiss on the cheek.  
"I have to ask you more often when it comes to keeping my boyfriend and resisting Harry. And with your sweet innocent view, you will help me not to do shit"  
Louis grimaced, but simply because he imagined Lottie and Harry together. It shook him even more than just alone at the imagine Harry with somebody else.

***

* next day - evening *

Whitney laid on her bed, listening to The Chainsmokers as she looked at the screen of her laptop. There she saw Niall on Skype, eating again.  
"You can always eat, right?", she sighed and Niall grinned, but continued to chew on his pizza with relish.  
"You're just jealous"  
"No", she said, but she was hungry herself.  
"What are you doing?", she asked bored, resting her head on her hands.  
"Louis is coming soon"  
Whitney looked at him in surprise.  
"Yeah, we didn't fry the sweet things last time just for him"  
"Yes, I sacrificed myself for him"  
"You don't live for it anyway", Niall laughed and she sighed.  
"I invited him so we could make up for it the day before yesterday"

Whitney just nodded, then silently looked at Niall. He was such a good soul; he didn't even bother that Louis had just run away like that lately. Whitney couldn't do something for her dreadfulness. She just didn't know if she could believe Louis. And she couldn't shake off the feeling that there was something else. She trusted Louis blindly, but Louis also had acted weird the day before. He just had kicked her out like that. There seriously was something suspicious.

"And besides, he left all his sweets in my room, he was afraid that I've already eaten them", Niall laughed, pulling Whitney out of her thoughts. She shouldn't think about it too much, she could trust Louis. And if Niall didn't get suspicious, she certainly wouldn't have to, too. She overreacted more often after all.

Louis knows what he's doing. I don't have to worry, she thought. And she didn't know how wrong she was. In both things.

***

When the doorbell rang, Niall got up and ran to the door, in front of which Louis stood and hugged him directly after opening.  
"Hi Niii, are my treasures still there?"  
Niall laughed and nodded.  
"One more day and I would have eaten them"  
Louis pouted and walked into Niall's room, where he saw Whitney on the blonde's laptop.  
"Oh, hi Whitney"  
"Louu"  
He sat down on the bed, Niall next to him.  
"How is Lottie?"  
Louis frowned.  
"Lottie?"  
"Because of Ryan?"  
"Ooh, um, good"  
"Well?"  
Louis nodded and wavered.  
"Yeah, it was just a misunderstanding. It was clear they would calm down again"  
Whitney just nodded and Niall smiled.  
"So, Whitney, we have to go offline, because it's eating time! ", Niall threw up his arms and Louis chuckled.  
"Yeah, you're sure going to get fatter", Whitney rolled her eyes and Louis crossed his arms over his chest.  
"Just because I have more ass than you"  
"You have more ass than anyone, Lou, but that's up to your build and not all the shit you eat"  
Louis grinned.  
"True, I am a heartbreaker"  
"You're way too sweet", Niall said and Louis looked at him.  
"Actually, I do not like you, but I just want food and a fryer. So I'm only friends with you, because I take profit from it"  
"I hate people like this, so shut up", Whitney said now and Niall laughed.  
"We all do, Whitney, Byee"  
"Wait, the plans for my brithday are still on?"  
"Of course!", both gasped and she laughed.  
"Okay, I'm looking forward to being older. Right Louis?"  
"Shut up. Just because you two were faster"  
Niall and Whitney laughed and she sticked her tongue out, before she said "see you"  
"Bye", both boys said and she went offline.

Niall closed Skype and the two boys jumped up immediately.  
"Let's go to the Chamber of Happiness!", Niall shouted and Louis wondered if his parents were at home and wouldn't worry.  
"You're so crazy", Louis laughed and the two ran to the kitchen, just so motivated because it was about food.

***

At some point they had fried everything from cream puffs to chocolate bars and were already half full when they had tasted about half of the stuff.  
"The cream puffs", Louis moaned. Niall nodded in satisfaction but then became more serious.  
"Louis?"  
Louis looked at him questioningly, but continued chewing. He didn't want to know how fat all the stuff was they were eating. But luckily, that didn't interest him much. He was physically healthy and he didn't do that every day. Thanks to his mother, maybe it really was better that they had no fryer at home.  
"I know you do not really have experience with it, but-"  
"Oh", Louis sighed and Niall chuckled.  
"When it comes to sports, I'm out"  
"Actually, it's about girls", Niall laughed out loud.  
"Oh", Louis giggled.  
"You have more experience than me", he admitted, because it was true. Niall had already kissed several girls, had even been together with one when he was in his mid-fifteen.  
"Yeah, but it's about a girl that you know longer than me..."  
"No", Louis said and Niall blushed.  
"I don't know, it just happened... I just have to talk to someone about it, I don't want to commit myself directly, but... yes", he said, scratching his neck shyly.  
"Niall!", Louis said shocked and Niall looked at him hurt.  
"Is it that unlikely?"  
Louis looked at him in surprise.  
"That... it's not just that, I mean, yes, it is"  
Niall sighed sadly and looked at his hands. It hurt Louis to see him that way, for Niall was such a good boy, who did everything for those he loved.  
"But I mean she has a boyfriend anyway"  
Niall looked at him wide-eyed.  
"What? I didn't know that"  
Now Louis frowned. They just talked about it?  
"God, I don't know what to do Louis, in the beginning I thought I just think she's great and thought-"  
"Niall, it's still my sister?!"  
Niall said nothing, then his eyes widened, before he got the laugh of his life. Louis just looked at him in disbelief and at the sight Niall had to laugh even more.  
"You thought...? Oh god", he laughed, trying to breathe again.  
"Huh, but you meant... oh", Louis understood then, then hit Niall.  
"You shit, don't scare me like that! You like Whitney?"  
Niall rubbed his arm and nodded, more serious again.  
"Well, she doesn't have a boyfriend at all", Louis smirked.  
"And it is not unlikely either, you get along so well"  
"Yes, but... friendzone and shit, you know? I don't know if we could become something"  
Louis nodded understandingly and put his arm around Niall's shoulder.  
"Thanks for telling me, I mean, I can't really help you, but we can handle it"  
Niall nodded, sighing.  
"Yeah, I just had to tell someone"  
"Since when do you think about it?"  
Niall thought for a moment.  
"No idea, about two months?"  
"Oh, haha, aww, that's kind of cute, I can really imagine that", Louis said, his eyes sparkling. Niall laughed slightly and blushed again.  
"And at your wedding, I will then give a speech and cry how I was the one who brought you two together!"  
"Here, eat some more", said Niall, laughing, and stuffed a cream puff into his mouth. Louis laughed but didn't refuse to eat the pastry.

"What about you?", Niall then asked and Louis had to cough. He hated to talk about that. Then he felt so bad because he had to lie. And well, he'd just like to say that he and Harry were together and would be forever, but that just wasn't true. Louis was still aware of that.  
"Why?", he asked and Niall shrugged.  
"Haven't talked about it for a long time, is there anyone?"  
"I wish", Louis said, unable to hide the dreamy undertone, thinking immediately of Harry. Fortunately, for Niall it was as if Louis just wanted to have someone by his side.  
"Hey, you sure find someone soon. And I mean it's still better than being fooled", he smiled and Louis only nodded, then looked away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?  
> Sorry for the ones that like Camille, but I really don't so... and I didn't want to use Taylor for this role, she always is the bitch lmao. Well, I promised non-cliché, right?  
> Hope you enjoyed <3
> 
> ! If you have questions/remarks, don’t be scared to comment  
> I’m happy about every Kudos and comment <3  
> All the love xx  
> @runningwatermelon  
> (Twitter: larrymelon28; Wattpad: runningwatermelon)


	10. ||8||

Luckily, Niall didn't ask more questions and he and Louis were sitting in front of the TV, watching one episode of Simpsons after another.

"My mum said by the way, that she can't drive us tomorrow", Niall remembered and Louis nodded. Whitney had invited them for her 16th birthday tomorrow and the two had made a present together. It was a really big box, inside her favourite candies, also make-up, two DVDs and a new book. The two had hoped that Niall's mother would drive them, so they would not have to carry the package home to her.

"Then we take the bus", Louis shrugged.  
"It's better for the environment anyway"  
"Yeah, you're right, we do enough bad things for it", Niall sighed.

At that moment, Louis' phone rang and he picked up in confusion, because he hadn't saved the number in his contacts.  
"Hello?", he asked, was a little scared.  
"Louis? Hey, I hope it's okay that your mother gave me your number"  
"Anne?", Louis asked surprised and got up to go out. He glanced at Niall's confused look, then shrugged before leaving the room.  
"Yes, sorry to bother you, but Lottie cancelled the opera and I wanted to ask you if you really wouldn't want to join us. Your mother was a bit confused when I said you already had plans. I don't want to push you, but I Jay said it would be good for you, so I wanted to ask you again, that you can think it over again overnight. And tomorrow you'll just text me again, and if you say no, I'll find someone else who wants to join, but I would really like it if you would accompany us"  
Feeling touched that Anne seemed to be so fond of him, Louis replied.  
"Anne, that's really nice, I'll text to you tomorrow, I... but I can't guarantee anything, it's... it's a bit complicated and I'm sorry for making you feel like I'm not interested in this. Because I would really like to spend the evening with you"  
He heard her light laugh.  
"I'm glad to hear that, Louis, but you're sure I don't I have to worry?"  
"No, no, that has to do with a person that is... a bit complicated"  
She sighed.  
"Then tell this person to stop being complicated and let you go. Terrible, I always wonder who raised those people"  
The irony that she spoke about her son without knowing it. That's why Louis chuckled.  
"I'll do it and text you tomorrow. And thanks, Anne, so kind of you"  
"Of course, see you!"

***

The two of them hung up and Louis frowned thoughtfully.  
Oh I fuck this, he thought and clicked on Harry's contact to call him. He had to wait and Louis wondered what Harry was doing right now and why he was not picking up. On the other hand, it could also be that Harry just wanted him to wait and fidget a bit. He wanted to hang up when he heard how the sound stopped. He frowned because no voice came.  
"Yes?", it came from the listener and Louis frowned even more, when he heard that Harry was out of breath.  
"Harry?"  
"Yes, what is it?"  
"What do you do?"  
Harry sighed annoyed and Louis heard rustling like from a blanket.  
"What do you want?", he asked, still a little out of breath and Louis looked out of the window. It was raining slightly. Is he in the gym?  
"I wanted to ask you something, but were you in the gym, or-"  
"Did you just call me to annoy me? What do you want?", he groaned annoyed and for Louis it was over when he heard a giggle in the background.  
"W-Who was that? Where are you Harry?!", Louis asked immediately, but he shouldn't have asked that. He didn't want to know, because that only brought him out of his imaginary world; brought him to reality where Harry hurt him over and over again.

"Fortunately, it's none of your business, so you don't have to expect an answer", Harry said emotionless.  
"Sassy daddy", Louis heard in the background now, and he couldn't believe it when Harry chuckled and whispered something that Louis didn't understand.  
"You're such an..."  
Louis sighed and said nothing, because he couldn't even say it. He desperately wanted to say that word, but he already regretted thinking it alone, and he loved Harry too much. He had fallen for him too much. Louis could almost hear Harry's smirk.  
"What am I?"  
Louis was silent before he blurted out.  
"A great brother substitute, I wanted to say. Because I'm not feeling well because of a girl, and I need distraction and you're so nice to go to the opera with me", Louis said falsely and then hung up. He already regretted it, but Louise had spoken for him. And with his bitch, he could swallow his despair and grief. He tried to push that voice aside, that this disgusting slut who had just been lying in bed with Harry, just slept with him. With his Harry.  
Harry with a woman. What a joke!

Louis: Hey Anne, got it all sorted, I'm coming to the opera :)

***

Completely relaxed, Louis had sat back to Niall. Completely relaxed, they had laughed, talked, continued to look at any crap. It was a completely relaxed evening. For one of them. Because Louis only acted as if. He felt bad. He was sick, he was scared. He stood between pride and fear. Because he was somehow proud of how he had tackled the matter. But Harry held the strings in his hand, he could destroy Louis in one sentence: I'll erase you from my life. If Harry threatened to cut him out of his life, Louis would do anything. And Harry knew that. That's why Louis's whole body froze when he saw Harry calling him. He wanted to pick up, because it was Harry. But he was afraid of Harry and his decision. Niall finally took the decision off him by gently tapping him.  
"Harry's calling you", he wiggled his eyebrows, thinking it was something unimportant, maybe something about Lottie or something. Louis gulped. Then he nodded and picked up, before he quickly went out again.

"Hello?", he asked so softly he didn't know if Harry had even heard him. It turned out that he had heard him very well, because there was his deep laugh. Louis was a little confused. Why was Harry laughing now?  
"Typically, first open your fat mouth, then be afraid and hang up and now showing the white feather"  
Louis sighed softly, but didn't know what to say.  
"I'm... I didn't know how to handle it"  
"Handle what?", Harry acted dumb.  
"You know-"  
"Why else should I ask, Louis?", Harry asked innocently and Louis was silent.  
"With the situation earlier, I... who was that?"  
"I could give you a name, but how would that help you? You're going to kill all girls in town with this name?"  
"I'm more likely to vomit on them", Louis growled in disgust, and Harry chuckled at his bad jealousy.  
"You are no different"  
"I love you!"  
"You know what I mean, it's not like you never put that word in your mouth"  
Louis swallowed and his stomach cramped immediately.  
"That", he cleared his throat, "that's not the point, I... it just hurts me when I find out you're being used by those fucking sluts"  
"Then just see it the other way around and I take advantage of them, hm?", Harry said, showing no sympathy.  
"By the way, where is my 'thank you' for calling you and not blocking you long ago?"  
"Thank you, Harry, thanks, I... I don't want you to be mad, I love you!"  
Harry smirked.  
"I know"

He had mood swings, that's how it could be called. For a moment he was so annoyed with the little one and just wanted to push him away, then he found it amusing how desperate and obsessed he was. And sometimes he simply ignored that to focus on the essential. Sex. That was perhaps the only reason he ever did anything with Louis. If he had only one mood, he would have sent Louis away long ago.

"I'll tell Anne that I won't come", Louis said, and he meant it that way. Because he could be glad that Harry was still talking to him. Harry was silent.  
"No, come with us"  
At first Louis thought he had misunderstood him. Harry noticed Louis's speechlessness and chuckled.  
"Still there?"  
"W-What did you say?"  
"I won't say it again"  
"But you... I'm allowed to come with you?"  
Louis beamed like a little child allowed to spend the night with his friend.  
"Of course, not in vain", Harry added, because who would he be if he did that without getting a good consideration? He could easily take advantage of the situation.  
"What are you doing tomorrow?"  
Louis thought about it, then remembered. Because of this call he totally forget his best friend's birthday.  
"Whitney's 16th birthday, I told you about that. She's having a party with some friends in the evening and at noon me and Niall are going to see her-"  
"You'll cancel"  
Louis was silent, not sure if he had heard correctly. He frowned.  
"What?"  
"You won't go. To both"  
Louis was silent again.  
"Harry... I have to-"  
"You don't have to, if it isn't me who tells you that you have to, is that clear?"  
"B-But Whitney is my best-"  
"I thought you wanted to go to the opera?"  
"Yes, but... I have already agreed, I really have to go there..."  
Harry rolled his eyes. He hated it when not what he said was done.  
"You will be sleeping at mine's tomorrow and you can go to the opera the day after tomorrow"  
Immediately Louis's heart jumped.  
"Really?", he beamed.  
"Yes", Harry said and Louis sighed dreamily.  
"If you would listen to me, you could have it all... but you don't have time", Harry said absently and Louis frowned. He had briefly forgotten that he meant Whitney's birthday.  
"I-I... I can... I...", Louis stammered, because what should he do? Harry pushed him back into the corner and gave him the feeling that he had no choice but to do what he expected.  
"I see", Harry said and Louis immediately noticed panic rising in him.  
"I'm beginning to doubt your love for me, Louis. You're kind of stabbing me in the back, hm, apparently you didn't really want to spend time with me. Well, anyway, then I'll ask Camille, who always says yes to me, I can count on her"  
"No, Harry!", Louis said, maybe a bit too loud and he had tears in his eyes, through the words that had just left Harry's mouth. Nothing hurt more than when Harry said he didn't feel loved by Louis. Because that's what Louis wanted, he wanted to show Harry that someone loved him. It sometimes felt like he was just born for it. To make Harry feel better. And at that Louis let himself fall. More than he realized.

"Don't say that"  
And the first tear ran down his cheek already.  
"I love you, how could I not?", he sobbed quietly and Harry was silent.  
"Doesn't feel like it, Louis"  
Harry didn't learn from it, didn't think, didn't take Louis seriously. He didn't realize what he was doing to the boy.  
"I tell her, I'm lying to her, I'm doing everything, Harry. I would do anything for you... I love you"  
"Did I understand correctly that I don't have to text Camille?", Harry continued, uncomprehending, mentioning Camille again, so that Louis didn't even think about the consequences when he immediately said 'yes' to the phone.

"Maybe you still love me a little, see you tomorrow, little one", Harry said, satisfied.  
"I love you so much Harry, not just a little bit"  
Harry rolled his eyes, just didn't understand that Louis meant it, even understated it. But maybe Harry was just too self-absorbed, too focused on himself. Yes, maybe he couldn't help it in the least possible way. But the blame is always immediately on the one who has destroyed the victim. The perpetrator is not respected; he is labeled as evil and guilty.

"See you tomorrow", Harry said, then hung up. Louis sighed wearily and let his arm hang loose. But then he smiled, still with tears in his eyes.

I'm allowed to join.

He was allowed to sleep at Harry's, going with him in the opera... that was just incredible. He wiped his eyes and laughed lightly. It was an unhealthy laugh. Because laughing alone after crying out of desperation and pain was not normal. But Louis stopped being normal long ago.

He sighed and went back to Niall's room. He repressed Whitney. He repressed that he had to come up with an excuse, that he really risked their friendship this time and repressed her feelings. He repressed that he would hurt his best friend. All of this for Harry.

Because it was Harry.

And he wasn't even aware of all that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ! If you have questions/remarks, don’t be scared to comment  
> I’m happy about every Kudos and comment <3  
> All the love xx  
> @runningwatermelon  
> (Twitter: larrymelon28; Wattpad: runningwatermelon)


	11. ||9||

To find an excuse for his parents, as well as for Lottie, hadn't been difficult for Louis.

"I just said that I'm sleeping at Whitney's because she's having a party", Louis explained as he stroked Harry's chest. The two were naked in bed and Harry had wanted to know where his parents thought he was. Harry was, as always, so much more relaxed right after having sex. OKay no, it always depends. Sometimes he was even worse, turned away immediately and was so in his own thoughts. Louis never understood what was going on, but he had learned to handle it and not to worry if he had done something wrong. Mostly it worked.  
"And were you with her?"  
Louis said nothing, snuggled closer to Harry.  
"No, I cancelled like you wanted"  
Harry smirked slightly. And of course, Louis and Niall could have gone to Whitney at least noon. But that wasn't what Harry had asked for. So Louis had cancelled altogether.  
Niall had texted him when he found out and often called him, but Louis ignored it. What was he thinking? Of course, Louis didn't cancel for nothing! It was Harry, so something important. Very important!

"When's the opera tomorrow anyway?", Louis commented, still wanting to talk to Harry, even when he was tired. Harrys voice before falling asleep was a dream.  
"I guess 19 o'clock, or something"  
Louis just nodded, then looked up at him.  
"Are we sitting side by side?"  
Harry looked at him.  
"As if you wouldn't inconspicuously suspicious sit next to me"  
Louis giggled and kissed him. It was reflex and he wanted to go back shocked, got scared that Harry was angry now. But he just pulled him closer to himself and deepened the kiss. Louis sighed happily when he felt Harry's warm hand on his hip and clung to him, letting his hands into his hair. It felt so incredible to lie here and be kissed by Harry - all that Louis wanted.

***

Louis opened the front door, which he then closed after entering the house.  
"Louis?"  
Louis sighed briefly, then followed his mother's voice one floor up, packing her suitcase in the bedroom. Confused, he gave her a brief look before she saw him in the doorway and she stopped.  
"There you are, how was the birthday?"  
Louis nodded slightly.  
"Was fun, she annoyed me like every year by being a few days older than me"  
His mother laughed and then Louis nodded to the suitcase.  
"You're leaving again?"  
The laughter vanished and she nodded, continued packing up.  
"Yes, we have to fly this night urgently"  
"What is-"  
"I can't talk much now, Louis, our secretary has been screwing up again, I'm really close to firing her", she said annoyed and Louis closed his mouth again, then frowned.  
"Ms. Mead? Didn't she almost send you on a plane that flew to Sydney in Canada instead of Sydney in Australia?"  
His mother sighed and nodded as she continued to put things in the trunk.  
"Yeah, I thought she'd pay more attention to it, but apparently she hasn't gotten any better... If we hadn't been contacted by George from Dublin about our hotel, we would have missed every meeting and preparation for the Real Estate Marketing Award "  
"For what?", Louis asked, trying to understand. But he understood absolutely nothing of the work of his parents. But they didn't explain anything to him. They didn't even have the time, so...  
"An important event where we introduce our marketing and also have the opportunity to meet companies from all over the world and possibly make contact with other entrepreneurs, which of course we would benefit from"  
Louis nodded slightly, still not quite understanding what event this was, but left it at that.  
"And when is that?", he asked when he saw how big his mother's suitcase was. He already had a premonition. She sighed.  
"The event itself starts on the 28th and ends on the 30th"  
Louis said nothing, then nodded, looking somewhere, but not to her. His birthday was on the 30th.

It was clear anyway.

"But we should actually be able to be here in the evening", she assured him and he let it be anyway.  
"Okay, yes", he nodded and she gave him a slight smile. He didn't know if it was real. He replied it and then let her continue packing. He knew they wouldn't be there on his birthday anyway. It was almost impossible. Eventually the event ended there, they didn't know if they could fly right after.  
"Where is dad?", he asked in the hallway.  
"He's in the office, clears up a bit and then comes directly to the airport. He was there before you came and grabbed his things already "

When have I last seen Dad?, Louis noticed.

"Kay", he answered, throwing himself on his bed. Sometimes he didn't realized, but he almost never saw his parents. Sure, his father had had stress and had not been able to wait until Louis was at home, but he hadn't texted him a short message, written a note, nor had he told Louis' mother to say hello. Yes, the work has always been more important.

But i don't care, he thought to himself, staring at the ceiling.  
I have Harry. Then I don't need anyone else.

He had to smile at the thought. He also had to leave soon, was only here to take a shower and change. Of course, Anne couldn't see that Louis had slept with them, they had to meet in front of the opera. So he had sneaked out and then went home by bus.

"Louis, I'm leaving now", his mother shouted from the hallway.  
"Money is down in the kitchen As always in the household budget!"  
Louis got up and went downstairs, where his mother was just opening the front door.  
"Ah, yes", she turned around again.  
"Your father and I have considered giving you a pocket money increase, you're already 16 soon and for the next few days, we have of course also referred you a bit"  
And with 'a bit' she meant a lot. Too much for a 16 year old.  
"Thanks", he nodded, smiling slightly before saying a 'Ciao' and she disappeared out the door. Louis sighed. He didn't want money. He wanted parents who were with him on his birthday. Or at least who were sorry that they were not there, instead of pumping him more with money like that would make it any better.

Anyway, I have Harry.

He smiled and went back to the second floor to see what he would wear after showering.

***

Coming to the opera wasn't difficult, as the big building stood directly at the bus stop. Nervous yet full of anticipation to see Harry again, Louis straightened his jacket. He hadn't seen Harry for a few hours and missed him as if he had last seen him months ago. He had come early, not to be the last, after all, Anne invited him to a not so cheap opera. At least he wanted to be on time.

He saw Anne's car, a Jaguar I Pace in white, just park. Louis loved the car because it was an electric car. 'If you already have enough money, why not spend it well and do something for the environment?' Anne had said back when she had bought the car. Louis thought everyone should think so. There were so many people who could afford it, but for reasons of selfishness they preferred to buy fancy cars. Of course, electric cars weren't that good for the environment as well, but at least it was a start. And yes, Harry should have got himself an electric car instead of a Range Rover. But what the hell, he owed nothing to the world, he deserved everything.

Anne got out of the car and Harry got up shortly afterwards. Louis pressed his lips together.

Don't stare, don't stare, don't stare, he told himself over and over in his head, but he didn't really listen to his head anyway. And his heart allowed him to stare at Harry. But how could he not?  
He wore a white shirt with the top buttons open. Over this he wore a black jacket and on his fingers were several rings and Jesus, Louis was getting hot. He hated Harry for being like this. But he loved him even more.

"Louis!", Anne said happily, hugging him and bringing him back to world.  
"Are we too late?"  
"Hi", Louis said, still looking at Harry in the embrace, who straightening his jacket.  
"No, I just wanted to be on time", Louis said as they broke away. Now, Harry smiled and hugged him briefly. And although Louis actually knew that it wasn't a real smile, but only because Anne was standing next to them, his heart made a jump and he forced himself to not crush Harry by hugging him so hard and embrace him for an hour in front of Anne.  
"We should go inside", Anne smiled. And Louis felt incredible. It felt as if Anne knew and would spend an evening at the opera with her son and future son-in-law. Because Anne liked Louis so much, much more than she would like every girl on this world that Harry would once call his girlfriend. And as any other man anyway.

***

"Well, I would say we bring our jackets to the cloakroom and then-"  
"I'll do it", Harry smiled and Anne did the same, stroking his cheek.  
"That's nice of you, sweetheart"  
He smiled and his mother gave him her jacket, then he looked at Louis, waiting. He stared at Harry, blinked and quickly took off his jacket, then gave it to him with a tingling sensation in his stomach. Harry gave him another smile before heading to the cloakroom. Louis, on the other hand, could not help looking after him.

"It's so nice that you have found time", Anne said, noticing how Louis looked after him. Louis looked at her, smiled.  
"Yeah, me too! I really like spending time with you... and also with Harry! I mean the three of us now and then"  
About Louis' uncertain stammering, Anne smiled. She sure thought he just didn't want to exaggerate and call Harry a good friend. But Louis was just scared to say too much.  
"I also like spending time with you", she said and the two began to move towards the entrance to the opera hall.  
"And I'm sure Harry too, you've often been at our's lately. But you're not bothering me, of course! I love how you trust Harry"  
Louis nodded, had to smile. Yes, Anne liked him.  
"Yeah, he... he listens well to somebody's problems", Louis said softly, afraid that Harry wouldn't like what Louis said here.  
"But I wasn't there that many times", he therefore said and Anne laughed.  
"You don't have to feel bad, I know that your parents aren't there very often and what I hear from Gemma, Lottie is also going out a lot at the moment. You're always welcome, Louis, makes me feel like I still have a son whom I can take care of "  
Louis almost burst with happiness. He was like a son to her?  
"Oh, Anne", Louis said, touched and Anne laughed, nodding.  
"Yeah, I know we don't know each other that good, but if you were older I'd really wish you to become my son-in-law"  
Louis stared at her stunned and she laughed more.  
"Well, not that it's bad if the man is younger than the woman, but Gemma has always had guys older than her as a boyfriend"  
Louis understood only now and nodded, laughed briefly. He seriously thought she meant Harry. He was stupid, too.  
"That would be weird anyway... Gemma is amazing, but-"  
"I know, I know, my children are like siblings to you", Anne nodded.

Not quite, just one of them, Louis wanted to say.

***

"You're still out here?", Harry came to them and then looked at the gullwing door, which still wasn't open yet and some people were standing in front of it. Anne shrugged, looking at her phone.  
"Well, it's... oh dear"  
Harry looked questioningly at her and Anne sighed, holding up her phone and her key.  
"I'm an idiot", she laughed lightly.  
"I go to the dressing room quickly and put that in my bag"  
"I can put them in my pocket, if you-"  
"No, the doors are not open anyway", Anne interrupted her son and took the number for the cloakroom from him.  
Thus, the two were alone. Louis looked at Harry, who only looked at the closed door further ahead.  
"You look incredibly beautiful", Louis slipped out in a trance and Harry looked at him for a moment, then around to see if anyone had noticed.  
"Your eyes just tell enough. Stop looking at me"

Louis sighed, then forced himself to look away. But what else should he look at? There was nothing more eye-catching than him. But then the doors were opened and the crowd slowly poured into the great hall. Louis and Harry also wanted to get moving but were interrupted.  
"Oh my god, Leon?!", they heard a hysterical voice and the two turned around. But the girl had already thrown herself around Harrys neck. Moment, no. There were two.  
"Hiii", they said at the same time and Louis gulped, trying to relax.  
"Uhm, hi?"  
The one girl broke away from him, wearing a floor-length night-blue dress with lace fabric on the neckline. She glanced at Louis, waving at him with a smile as if they knew each other forever.  
"Mia Trascott, hiii"  
Hearing the name, Harry finally recognized the girls.

The other girl also broke away from 'Leon' and looked at Louis.  
"Aww, who is that?", she said as if Louis was a dog. She also wore a floor-length dress, but her own had no carrier and was dyed dark red. And Louis only now realized that the two were twins. He suspected something bad. Something very bad.  
"Uh, Lexi, Mia, that's-"  
"Is that your little brother?!", Lexi said enthusiastically and then looked back at Louis. He wanted to deny that immediately. Brothers?!  
"I-"

"Aww, Leon, you're going to the opera with your brother?!", she said happily, and Louis' ears were already hurting from the high pitch of voice in which they spoke.  
"Why-", Louis wanted to begin, but was interrupted again. Did they always interrupted everyone?!  
"So Leon isn't only a good daddy, but also a good brother?", Mia asked and now Louis couldn't say anything anymore. His chest ached and he was stunned, but at the same time just hurt.  
"Mia!", Harry hissed and looked around quickly.  
"Not in front of his little brother!", Lexi nudged her sister, then looked at Louis.  
"Although you are totally precious, how old are you?"  
Louis couldn't answer (either one of them would have interrupted him anyway and started guessing), just stared at them.  
"Too young for you", Harry said and Lexi and Mia released an 'Aww' at the same time.  
"Anyway, you never called us, you just left", Lexi said, pouting and Mia nodded hysterically and looked at him.  
"Yes, what was going on?"  
"I, uh-"  
"Yeah, that sure was a misunderstanding", Lexi interrupted and Mia nodded again so fast. Were they always so squirrely? Louis wanted them to go. Right now.  
"Of course, we'll give you our number", Mia said immediately, and the two of them smiled like in a toothpaste commercial.  
"To both of you", Lexi giggled, looking at Louis, who was trying not to show his disgust too much.

The two are lucky that they are as pretty as stupid.

"I don't think that-"  
"Strange, actually", Mia interrupted Harry thoughtfully, glancing back and forth between the two while Lexi grabbed Harry's arm without asking, pushing his sleeve up to write down a phone number. And where did she get the pen?!  
"You don't look alike"  
"Unlike us", Lexi looked at her and the two laughed at the bad joke. Louis looked to Harry for help, who just looked helplessly at his arm, which was still held by Lexi.  
"No, but seriously", Mia said, and Lexi continued writing.  
"I mean you're so big and he's small, you-"  
"In the pants?", Lexi asked, looking back at her sister before they started laughing again. Harry rubbed his free hand over his face.  
"Mia, Lexi, we are in an opera house"  
The two looked at him.  
"Oh don't act like that, you didn't mind when we met", Mia said.  
"We haven't seen each other for a long time, actually", Lexi said, finished with the scribble, looked on it.  
"I don't want to know that actually", Louis had to say, because he couldn't take it anymore. But he was allowed to say that now. After all, as a 'brother,' it wasn't unlikely.  
The two giggled and Lexi became serious.  
"I'm just unsure, comes first 6 or 5? I always mix up the two numbers, but they look so similar"  
Louis rolled his eyes, crossing his arms over his chest.  
"It happens every time, Lexi", Mia rolled her eyes.  
"Only the 6"  
Lexi sighed, wanted to correct it, but it was not readable anymore, so she scribbled over it a thousand times and started again. Harry bit back a sigh. He would wash it away anyway.  
"Finished", Lexi said, looking at it, then giggling.  
"Next to your tattoos, it looks like you have my number tattooed on your skin"  
The two laughed and Harry even managed to smile. Unlike Louis, who looked away only with folded arms. The two were unbearable.  
"Okay, we should-"  
"Yeah, right", Mia interrupted Harry and hooked up with Lexi.  
"Leon, call us. And if this sweet baby changes his mind-"  
"Certainly not", Louis said and the two laughed. Lexi squeaked, ruffling his hair.  
"God, aren't you precious? You're so cute, I'm going crazy! How can you be so sugarsweet when your brother is so hot?"  
"Lexi has always been into youngers", Mia said and Lexi giggled and Louis really tried to not puke directly on Lexi's dress. He was sick. Just because of the idea of either having something with them or how Harry had something with them.  
"See yaaa", first Lexi and then Mia threw herself at... Leon, until Lexi suddenly stuck to Louis. He looked overwhelmed to her sister, who laughed.  
"Lexi, slowly it really becomes seduction of minor"  
"I am-"  
"What can I do for that, he's so cute!", Lexi said firmly, pinching his cheek.  
"Let your hot brother give you my number"  
Definitely not, Louis thought, but left it to thinking. Something these annoying twins apparently couldn't do.  
"Byeee", Mia said, pulling her sister away and soon they stepped into the hall.

***

Harry groaned annoyed but relieved; Louis was too speechless. He turned to Harry.  
"Twins. Seriously?"  
Harry looked at him, shrugging innocently.  
"What, you saw how they look like"  
"As if that were a justification", Louise came to life again.  
"And why 'Leon' and what 'brother'? Why didn't you say something?"  
Harry smiled at him. Confused, Louis looked up at him. Why was he smiling so sweetly now?  
"Just watch what you say and pull yourself together. You have nothing to say to me, no claims on me, so be glad you can be here and shut up"  
Louis sulked automatically. Because what Harry had said hurt him. And Harry still smiled so sweetly that everyone around them thought he just said something nice.  
"And I couldn't have talked into these chicks anyway", Harry said now, and it looked wrong how much he smiled as he spoke so annoyed.  
"Let us go inside now and-"  
"What are you doing here? The doors are open", Anne came back, looking stressed.  
"Jesus, the queue was full now, we should go in. How are you not already inside, the best places are surely gone"  
"Sorry Mum, we just met someone", Harry said and Anne looked at him questioningly.  
"Who?"

Now I'm curious what he will say. As if he says that he met two bitches with whom he once had something and who-

"Some friends of Louis"  
Louis looked at him incredulously. Was he kidding?!  
"Oh", Anne said in surprise, looking at Louis.  
"Haven't you see them for a long time or what?", she asked as the three went in.  
"I...", Louis said and Harry smirked when he saw how uncomfortable it was for Louis. Sure, his mother thought that Louis had stopped Harry because he had chatted with friends and that the three now had worse seats just because of Louis.

Anyway, the important thing is that nobody is blaming me, he thought automatically, looking around for good seats while Louis stammered a statement to Anne.

"These were old friends who left school"  
"Several who have changed school? What happened?"  
"No, just... just one. One left and he was here with others"  
"Oh, okay, and they are going to the opera just for fun?"  
"Um, yes, no, she said her parents are still at the cloakroom"  
"'She'? But didn't you just say 'he'?"  
"Uh, yes... the... girlfriend of him"  
"Ah, okay", Anne nodded and Louis smiled slightly, sighing as Anne turned to Harry. She certainly didn't believe him. And it really seemed as if Louis did not care about this night and it was more important to talk to people than to go in there. Although he had been invited here and Anne had bought the tickets expensive. Only because of Harry.

***

But when Louis finally sat next to Harry and the lights went out, the opera started, everything was forgotten anyway. Not a minute had Louis been mad at Harry, maybe five seconds.

What should he have said? It was easier, he thought, instead of being rational and thinking it could definitely have been solved differently.

Carefully, Louis' hand moved to Harry's one and laid it on the larger one. Harry's hand was on the armrest next to him, so Anne couldn't see it (it was too dark anyway).  
Harry let him do it, inhaled briefly. He looked at Louis, who was looking at him as well, he could tell by the outlines. Louis ran his thumb over Harry's back of the hand and then tapped it three times.  
'I love you'.  
Harry recognized that. And he pulled his hand away to run it through his own hair, then put it back on the armrest. But not before he tapped Louis' hand twice (less lovingly than Louis did before) on his hand and then pushed it away, so that it again laid on Louis' lap. Louis smiled nonetheless.  
'I know'.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ! If you have questions/remarks, don’t be scared to comment  
> I’m happy about every Kudos and comment <3  
> All the love xx  
> @runningwatermelon  
> (Twitter: larrymelon28; Wattpad: runningwatermelon)


	12. ||10||

* 29th October*

Bored, Louis sipped his cup, then grimaced. The drink wasn't well mixed, so it only tasted of alcohol. He didn't like alcohol. Neither the taste, nor did he like the headache the next morning. What would unfortunately be his birthday. But Louis drank it anyway, because he didn't know what else to do. He was only here to watch Harry. And what did the jerk do? Called Lottie and cancelled. Yes, it was Lottie's party. Their parents were gone and Lottie had said that they could celebrate his birthday and at the same time invite her people. Like last year.

Louis didn't care, he had only invited Niall and Whitney anyway. Niall was here, but nowhere in Louis's sight and Whitney had ignored him. It hurt, but Louis could have ignored it if Harry was here. He wouldn't really talk to Louis, but Louis would have had something to do: staring and watching Harry. Stalker, yes, but that was the only thing Louis really had to do tonight. And not get drunk alone, because he was so disappointed. He sighed and dumped the rest of the cup, making the face twist again.

***

Because Louis had just not been in the right place at the right time and therefore hadn't noticed anything, he was amazed when he came into the big living room and where suddenly his dream man stood. He froze, it was as if his whole body was frozen for a moment. At first, he thought he had drunk too much and his brain wanted to torment him. But it was too real.

Harry actually stood in the living room, smiling and greeting Lottie and a few others standing by his side. And then he saw her. It was a girl with brown, straight hair that bulged in the front, lying on her big breasts. She spoke with a smile and Louis' eyes fixed Harry's hand on her lower back. Lottie didn't seem to know her, for the two seemed to introduce themselves. But Louis couldn't concentrate on that. Who.Was.This.Girl. And what came to her mind?! It made Louis furious that he didn't know this Bitch, didn't know her name, knew nothing about her. And yet she seemed familiar to him. Did she go to Louis and Harry's school?! Because Lottie didn't seem to know her either. But one thing Louis knew: she was pretty. Very pretty. And when Liam, Lottie, Gemma, and Harry laughed and the girl shrugged grinning, Louis knew something else: she was funny.

Louis stomach cramped and he felt sick. And that was certainly not the alcohol. He wanted the girl to leave. Right now. And why was Harry here after all? He had cancelled?  
Harry said something, looked around and then his eyes met Louis. For Louis, it seemed as if time stood still for a moment. He hadn't seen Harry in such a long time and now his intense look in his eyes was indescribable. For him, there was only Harry in the room, he only saw him. Even this bitch next to him was suddenly invisible.

***

* 2 hours ago *

The 18-year-old girl was called Sheina. And she had not planned to go to a party where she barely knew anyone. She didn't even know Gemma and Harry properly. However, before she even heard about this party, she and her mother were invited to dinner with the family. She had absolutely no desire for tonight. Why should she? After all, she shouldn't enjoy going to see the family whose mother had an affair with Sheina's father and made him leave her mother. And now he stepped back into her life and wanted the two families to meet? What did he hope for? And what was wrong with her mother, that she agreed?

"I want to make my own picture of this Anne", her mother had explained.  
"And besides... maybe the family is very nice, we don't know that"

But Sheina knew her dad simply manipulated her mother again. But she was not listened to.  
And when she found out that Harry was Anne's son, she couldn't believe it. She knew him from school, he was one step above her and was just finishing high school. The two got on well, had talked from time to time; she didn't know him correctly, only because of her friend. But knew that he was number one girl crush, because besides this appearance he was also a total gentleman. But she didn't find it funny, like Harry, that the two met like that. Because for Sheina meant that everything would only be more complicated. And she didn't really want to have anything to do with Anne's family. But what could she do?

After dinner, when she found out that Harry had cooked with his mother and cooked amazingly well, she watched her mother. She was talking to Anne and Markus, Anne's friend and Sheina's father and ex-husband of Sheina's mother. She didn't understand her mother. It had to hurt her, right?  
"Hey, Sheina?", Gemma asked, Harry's sister. She was very kind, Sheina had to admit. She had thought that she wouldn't be good at talking to Sheina, but she seemed like Harry to be a totally charming and nice personality.  
"Yes?"  
At that moment, Harry's phone rang and he looked apologetically. Sheina still saw the name on the display until Harry rolled his eyes slightly and put the phone back in his pocket. 'Louis'.  
"Would you like to come to a house party with me?  
Sheina looked at her in surprise and Harry sighed annoyed.  
"Gem, are you serious?"  
Gemma laughed and Sheina looked questioningly between the two back and forth.  
"Harry actually cancelled, but I want to be driven, so if you come with me, he'll sure comes with us", she said, grinning. Sheina felt her blush. She didn't know why, maybe because Harry was intimidating her by his charisma alone.  
"I can drive you anyway, Gem", Harry said dearly, and Sheina couldn't help but wish for a brother like him.  
"Why are you so kind?", she asked without wanting it and he looked surprised to her, then had to smile. She couldn't help looking at the dimple on his cheek. It suited him. Very.  
"What do you mean?"  
"That's Harry, he's the best brother in the world", Gemma said, sticking her tongue out.  
"Everyone is jealous of me"  
Harry chuckled.  
"I'm sure you deserve a much better brother"  
"Now you're getting too cute. So Sheina, what do you say?"  
"Um, I'm not so sure...", the girl replied and automatically looked to Harry as if he would decide for her. He shrugged.  
"If you want to go, I'll come with you"  
"I said so", Gemma said quietly and Sheina blushed slightly.  
"Um, I don't mind joining you. But I don't know if my clothes-"  
"I'll give you some of my clothes, of course, and I sure have enough make-up"  
"Or too much", Harry said grinning and she rolled her eyes. Sheina saw the happy look of her mother as the three stood up and Gemma explained that they would still go to the house party of a Lottie. She ignored the look and left the dining room with both siblings.

"God, your house is so amazing", Sheina gushed, and Harry laughed and put his hand on her back.  
"Come downstairs when you're done, you'll probably need more time than me to finish"  
She could only nod, because of Harry's piercing green eyes, and then disappeared into one of the rooms with Gemma, which turned out to be hers.  
"He lied, by the way. He always needs more time", Gemma shaked her head while giggling and Sheina laughed.

***

* Present *

Sheina now stood with Harry and Gemma, who introduced Gemma's best friend and hostess Lottie to her. She was relieved to see that Gemma hadn't lied. Sheina had felt a little unsure when Gemma had given her a dress, but she had assured her that many would also wear something more special. And that Lottie was one of them. Apart from the fact that the house was just as awesome, almost as the one of the Styles'.  
After a bit of talking, she looked at Harry, who was looking in one direction. She followed his gaze and saw a small brown-haired boy staring back at him. What was going on there? Besides, the boy seemed much younger than all the other people here.  
"Hey, is everything alright?", she asked, placing a hand on Harry's forearm questioningly. He immediately looked at her and his eyes sparkled for a moment. It was a bit scary, but as soon as he had looked at her it had disappeared again and he smiled charmingly.  
"Yeah, I have to leave for a bit, is it okay if I leave you alone for a bit?"  
Before she could answer, this Liam answered.  
"No problem, I'll introduce her to the boys, they'll be happy about what I bring here", he put an arm around her and Harry looked at him.  
"Don' talk about her like that", he said serious and Sheina's eyes widened slightly. Lottie laughed and slapped Liam's arm.  
"What do you think of talking about a woman like that when Harry is here, Liam?"  
He rolled his eyes and pulled Sheina with him. Harry, however, approached Louis, who was still looking at him.

***

"Harry", he said stunned as he stood before him, in all his beauty.  
"Well", Harry smirked slightly, because of Louis' eyes on him and just his reaction.  
"Why... why are you here? I mean you cancelled it and I tried to call you all the time and texted you! Why are-"  
"Can you shut it for a second?", Harry interrupted him annoyed, before making his way to the stairs. He didn't have to turn around, because he knew that Louis would follow him. Everywhere.

Louis followed him to Louis' room, from which he closed the door when he was inside.  
"Are you stupid?", Harry asked immediately, when the door was closed and Louis flinched.  
"Don't you want to scream louder around the place, how obsessed you are with me, next time?! Just don't think that I would defend you if someone notices something and rumours arise"  
Louis lowered his head.  
"I'm sorry... I just was so sad when you cancelled and when you stood there, I was so confused. But of course, happy, I thought the party was going to be shit!"  
Harry had to grin as Louis' eyes sparkled at him so hopefully. He approached Louis, who, of course, made no move to go away and laid his hands on the broader hips of the smaller. Louis immediately got goose bumps. Harry had touched him so many times and yet he couldn't get enough of it and it sparked fireworks all over his body every time. Louis was pulled to Harry's chest by him and the smaller one sighed and pressed himself even closer to the taller one. Harry looked down from above on top of Louis's head and smirked.  
"I'm here because of Sheina, so you should be grateful to her"  
Louis tensed immediately and he felt the nausea that was spreading in his stomach.  
"Who is this Sheina?", he asked softly but serious.  
"Little one", Harry laughed, leaning down to reach his ear.  
"Is that important?", he said in his deep voice, and Louis almost collapsed as he went weak at the knees. But the jealousy and anger won. But before he could say anything, he felt Harry's big hands go further down and couldn't help but hold his breath. He had missed Harry's touch so much.  
"Instead of using your mouth for stupid, jealous questions, you could use it for something much more useful, don't you think?"  
Louis closed his eyes, wanting to give in. But then he forced himself to grab Harry's wrists.  
"Yes, that's important to me, so answer my question"  
Surprised, Harry looked at him. He had expected that Louis would surrender himself to him directly. But he had no idea that Louis's jealousy and anger at the people who only touched his Harry was stronger than his longing for his touch. And that had to mean something. Maybe that's why Louis' life went on just the way it went on.

Louis looked at him angrily, at least he tried. Because Harry saw the uncertainty, but also the desire for him in his eyes.  
"She's going to our school", he said anyway, and Louis frowns. He had never heard of this Sheina and was confused. Since when did Harry do something with this girl? And what was between them? But now it was clear why she had seemed familiar to him. He had certainly seen her before.  
"And... are you together?"  
Harry smirked at the question and put his hands in the pocket of his black jeans.  
"I think you should know what I think about relationships"  
Louis gulped and looked away hurt as Harry reminded him of all the pain and again the reality of his life. But he didn't say anything because he loved Harry way too much.  
"Since that's clear", Harry said now, for he was getting impatient and took another step towards Louis, who instantly tensed.  
"Don't you want to thank me somehow for coming here?", he said in the younger boy's ear and his one hand found its way back onto his hip. Harry saw Louis bite his lip and knew he was trying to stay wise and resist. But both knew it was hopeless. Louis had fallen hopelessly to him. He was hopeless.  
The latter was unfortunately not clear to both. And that was the only thing they really needed to realize.

***

Of course, Harry got what he wanted as always. Louis clenched his hand in Harrys arms as he got equally soft knees because of Harry's soft lips. The usual butterflies in his stomach and his turned-off mind overwhelmed him, but at the same time he loved that feeling and didn't want to miss it.  
"Harry", Louis gasped, noticing the tingling sensation spreading not only in his stomach. Harry smirked into the kiss, then pressed Louis closer to him. He pulled away from Louis' lips and bent down so far that he could put his mouth to his neck to continue there. Louis moaned as he was pressed against Harry's leg. He gathered his last mind, though, and pushed Harry's chest a bit away. But the taller wasn't deterred and continued as before.  
"Harry", Louis said, but couldn't bring it out seriously, as Harry drove him crazy. So he pushed him farther away until he gave in and straightened up a bit.  
"So you have nothing with this Sheina?"  
Harry rolled his eyes annoyed.  
"Are you fucking serious? I am with you right now, so I haven't forgotten you, right? Just be happy with something"  
Louis sighed and put his arms around Harry's waist to hug him tightly. Harry controlled himself not to push Louis away.

Why is Louis bitching around right now? I've just clearly told him that he should blow me, so what's the problem?

"I love you", the smaller one said in his own world, his cheek pressed against Harry's chest.

At that moment, the door opened and Harry immediately pushed Louis away, quickly adjusted his pants.  
"Oh, hi"  
Louis immediately rolled his eyes when he saw the brown-haired. She stood uncertainly in the doorway.  
"Sheina, hey", Harry smiled innocently, and of course he couldn't stop going to her and touching the pretty one.  
"Everything alright?", he asked, placing a hand on her hip. She blushed a little and Louis crossed his arms over his chest.

What a bitch

"Yes... I was going to the bathroom and Lottie and Liam said I should go here because-"  
"Right there", Harry pointed to the bathroom door, which was next to Louis's cupboard.  
"Thank you", Sheina said softly, scurrying past him. At Louis' eyes she frowned, then closed the door behind her. As soon as the key was turned, Harry stood next to Louis again and grabbed his wrist roughly.  
"Pull yourself together before I lose myself", he hissed angrily and Louis flinched, all anger gone.  
"I did nothing-"  
"Don't even start like this. If you don't want everyone to notice something, hold yourself back for once!"  
"Hold yourself back, too", Louis muttered. He had thought Harry hadn't heard, but he was wrong. Harry pulled roughly at his wrist, holding him close, his wrist still firmly gripped.  
"Listen, I can do what I want, make out with who I want and fuck whoever I want. Just because you want to do it all only with me doesn't mean that I have to do that, too. That is because I still have a life, so stop waiting for me to think as you do, to live as you do, and above all stop waiting for me to see and feel the way you see me and how you feel for me"

Louis's eyes widened, but Harry's eyes were cold and angry. And that hurt him so much. Of course, Harry could see the hurt look of the younger and also the tears that gathered in his eyes didn't go unnoticed. But he just didn't care.  
He let go of him and Louis desperately wanted to grab Harry's hand, but he pulled away. It was a gesture that said so much. Because Louis wanted to hold on to Harry, touch him, so as not to go down. He had tried that many times before. But Harry pulled his hand away. He didn't help him. And he would not help him either in future.

"Sheina is sure to come out right away, she shouldn't see you like that", he said shortly and Louis understood. He swallowed but didn't have the strength to contradict Harry. He looked at Harry's chest for a moment, just couldnÄt meet his eyes. There was too much cold and scum in them and he could not bear to see that Harry felt that when he looked at him. So he turned around sniffling and disappeared through the door.

***

Satisfied, Harry looked at the bathroom door as it opened. Sheina stepped out, looking around for the smaller boy. He had looked sad and furious at the same time. Sheina had felt that he had been mad at her, but she hadn't done anything wrong? But Harry smiled at her as if the boy who had been here with him before was just a imagination of hers.

"Harry... it isn't supposed to concern me, but what was going on? You were gone forever and Louis seemed to be sad", she asked softly.  
"And somehow... angry", she said then, and Harry's smile fell immediately.  
"How do you know who that is?"  
"Well, that's Lottie's brother, right? Liam mentioned him earlier and he seems to be the youngest here"  
Harry sighed and ran his hand through his soft hair.  
"Yeah, we talked a bit, I can only tell you that Louis has some problems, and uhm..."  
The girl understood and nodded.  
"And you as a friend of Lottie are his male contact?"  
He nodded and Sheina smiled slightly.  
"Wow, Harry, that's really nice of you!"  
But Harry just shrugged as if it was normal for a 19-year-old to take the time to talk to a friend's little brother about his problems at a house party.  
"I want to do it, he doesn't have many friends"  
Sheina nodded slightly and then crossed her arms.  
"Yeah, I thought so. Lottie said we're celebrating his birthday right now, so I was a bit confused"  
Harry laughed and rolled his eyes.  
"She always invents any reason to throw parties, Louis certainly didn't want a party. And besides, only her people are there. She once had a party because her new shoes she had ordered arrived"  
"You all definitely have too much money and too chilled parents", Sheina said, shaking her head and Harry laughed again until he put an arm around the brown-haired one.  
"But everyone is nice to you, right?"  
She laughed.  
"Yes Dad"  
At the word she stopped and Harry looked away.  
"Sorry, bad moment... I just forgot about our family situation"  
Harry sighed, then smiled again.  
"Anyway, let's just forget about that for today"  
Then he pulled her out of the room of the soon-to-be-16-year-old.  
"Let's get something to drink!"

***

Enthusiastic Sheina looked at the view, which offered her. Because the street in which the house stood, was higher, they had an incredible view from the terrace on the roof. Harry had led her up here, when it had become rather stuffy inside and also the garden was completely overcrowded. She wondered why Harry was so informed where everything was in this house, because she didn't feel like he and Lottie were such good friends.

"Why is nobody up here?", she asked then and Harry chuckled, but continued to look straight ahead, at the view. He really looked like a god through the lights on the patio. And his side profile was perfect. Sheina was getting warm. God, she was so ashamed to think about him like that.

Why do I even think so? At all, he is my friend's-

"We're supposed to get out for the fireworks at twelve", Harry said.  
"Oh and where did you get the permit?", Sheina asked interested and he looked at her with a grin.  
"Oh, I can do that"  
She laughed and looked straight ahead again.  
"In addition, they soon will come up here anyway, it's almost twelve o'clock"  
"What irony that the fireworks are for Louis, but he doesn't seem to be in party mood"  
"Was also Lottie's idea", Harry laughed lightly and Sheina frowned slightly.  
"Don't you think that bothers Louis?"  
Harry was silent for a moment.  
"What do you mean?"  
"Well, he doesn't seem to be the guy who wants to do this, he'd rather spend an evening with his closest friends, just as I prefer to be honest. And basically... he seems to always stand in the shadow, when I listen to and look at all of this. As if it wouldn't be paid attention to what he wants, you understand?"

Harry did not understand. On the contrary, he had never thought so much about Louis's life. He never worried about the lives of others. But Sheina thought that he was dealing with Louis' problems.

"Maybe, but I think it's something else", he said, because he had to say that. He had to make sure she wouldn't worry about Louis anymore. Harry always did that when someone started thinking about it. Because for him it was dangerous, if someone thought about these things. As long as nobody paid attention to Louis and didn't worry about him, he could continue to treat him the way he did and wanted to.

Maybe things would have been different if Harry wasn't such a trusting and responsible person for others. People trusted Harry quickly and were guided by him, soothed and brought to other thoughts. So, he did it again with Sheina.

"Hm... another question. Quite a few people here... especially girls are making hints on you all the time... those sure don't know about-"

Sheina couldn't speak more, to Harry's luck again. Because the door was hit open with a jolt and a horde of teenagers swirled on the terrace, infront Liam.

***

"Oh, did we bothered you here?!", Liam chanted and Sheina rolled her eyes, making Harry laugh.  
"Didn't know that a romantic scene is being filmed here, where are the cameras, is that ending in porn?", he said, pretending to look around for cameras. Sheina briefly slapped him in the arm and Harry laughed together with him.  
"God Liam, how much have you been drinking?"  
"Another question, how much to drink do I have to give you that you really do a porn with Sheina?!"

Another hint again, Sheina thought, confused.

She turned her head to the right and saw a blond boy, who must be in Louis' age. The blonde looked at her confused and had his arms crossed over his chest and stood with Louis. He looked behind Sheina, where Harry was fumbling with Liam.  
The unaware girl looked at him questioningly, but also a little annoyed. What had Louis against her?! The blonde, still confused, said something to Louis, then turned his back to her, turning now to Louis.  
Sheina snorted and was about to approach the two to end to this childish behaviour, but there was a big hand on her shoulder and she turned her head back.  
"Drop it", Harry said, rolling his eyes. Sheina looked at him confused, whereupon he quickly put on his charming smile. That didn't change her mind about these boys and asked what their problem was. However, when she took the first step, she was grabbed by the shoulder and turned around rudely.  
"Sheina, leave them alone"  
The girl was a little scared of Harry's rough style and his eyes sparkled, which only supported her fear. She had never seen him like that and she asked him why she shouldn't go. He waited with his answer.  
"They are not worth it"  
"But Louis-"  
"Doesn't matter", he interrupted unkindly, grabbing her wrist to pull her away.

Sheina allowed it, but looked behind her again. Louis was nowhere to be seen, only the blonde stood there and looked even more confused than before. And she couldn't help wondering what was going on. Did Harry know what was going on here?

***

Louis trampled down the stairs, keeping his head down so no one could see his eyes filling with tears. He didn't want to cry again, but what should he do? It just broke Louis' heart. Just everything.  
And he was so angry. On himself. How had he been able to sink so low and imagine that Harry would ever feel anything for him again? No, not even that. How could he have imagined that Harry had ever felt anything for him?

Now he couldn't stop the tears and walked quickly to his room. There were hardly any people in the house, as most of them were upstairs on the terrace or in the garden to watch the fireworks, so that the music could only be heard softly. But Louis didn't want to see Harry happy with some sluts. His heart couldn't handle it. So he let him have fun, he would just crumble into his room and... Louis hesitated as he saw a bottle on a small table in the hallway. It was open, half full. He didn't know what it was, just knew that it was alcohol and wanted to pass by.  
"Mill, wait for me, damn it!", he heard then a voice on the first stair, which led into the second corridor.  
"Hurry up, Harry is surely upstairs, too! God, he looks so good, I'm cracking up, he's such a hottie"

Yes, that's it for Louis. He grimaced in disgust at this Camille and all the sluts in the world, gripped the bottle without thinking about it, and went straight to his room, from which he closed the door behind him.

Happy Birthday, Louis.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I know Louis' birthday isn't on 30th october, but this story isn't real life, so...
> 
> Your thoughts on Sheila?!  
> If you have questions/remarks, don’t be scared to comment  
> ! Check out my Instaaccount for this fanfiction where I post about updates and the pictures of Louis’ outfits: larrymelon28  
> I’m happy about every Kudos and comment <3  
> All the love xx  
> @runningwatermelon  
> (Twitter & Instagram: larrymelon28; Wattpad: runningwatermelon)


	13. ||11||

Sheina had let Harry pull her away and forgot about the incident with Louis.

"Hurry up!", he called after her and she laughed, shouting a 'I will!' back, before she started to walk down the stairs. The fireworks were over now and many people were inside again, so it wasn't so crowded on the terrace. Without any problem Sheina found her way to Louis' room and opened the door. Directly opposite the door was a small balcony to which the door was open. There Louis sat with his back to her. However, when he heard that someone had come in, he jumped up. He turned to her, but his smile, which he had set so hopefully before, fell immediately.  
"Oh", he said, looking disappointed as he dropped back to the floor. Sheina frowned, remembering Harry's statement that Louis had some problems. However, that she had gone down to go to the bathroom, she also urgently needed accordingly. So she hurried to go to the bathroom quickly.

Undecided to sit with Louis or not, she stopped in his room afterwards. But then she remembered Louis' strange behaviour towards her.  
"Don't feel like celebrating your birthday?", she decided to go to Louis and join him outside on the small balcony. He just shrugged and looked up at the sky. You could hear the music and the people above them on the terrace and among them in the garden. Actually, Louis would have sent her away directly, but he could not think straight [Duh]. And beyond that, he simply had no strength left.  
"They aren't here because of me anyway"  
"Well, most of them don't even know you", Sheina said affectionately.  
"Some sure do", he said quietly and now she was silent.  
"Louis, I... I know, we don't know each other, but... you look sad and if you want to talk about anything..."  
He snorted.  
"What irony"  
She looked at him questioningly and he looked to her. She saw the tears in his eyes, though he smiled. In her opinion, it looked a little creepy.  
"You are one of the reasons why I feel like this"  
"What? Why should I?"  
Only now she noticed the bottle in Louis's hand.  
"Did you drink all of this alone?!", she asked a little shocked, but still quiet, since Louis seemed to be drunk and down. He pulled his hand away slightly, then put the bottle to his mouth and took another long sip. He grimaced and she took the bottle from his hand to put it next to her and away from him.  
"What's wrong with you?"  
He was silent and the girl sighed.  
"Louis, I... Listen, I'm not friend with anyone here except maybe a little bit with Harry. Most of the people I met today won't remember me tomorrow anyway, and I don't have a number from anyone here. So if you can tell someone than it's me. And you can trust me, really. And besides, it's good to talk about it, then maybe you can try to deal with it "

He chuckled and looked at her for a moment.  
"You know, maybe you're right"  
Then he looked straight ahead again and she didn't know if he was giving in, because he thought she was right or just because of the alcohol, through whose influence you always did things you wouldn't otherwise do. And what is it called? Drunk is the most honest.

"Where to start", Louis mused aloud and she took the time to examine him again. He was really pretty with his brown hair and blue eyes. And by his small size and petite hands, he somehow had something feminine about him. At the same time, she found him somehow really cute, it hurt her to see him so done. How old was he? And then he had such blatant problems? Sheina quickly worried about people and she quickly closed them in the heart. So she couldn't be mad at Louis about the looks before; there was apparently something on his mind.  
"How long have you known Harry?"  
Sheina blinked and stopped looking at him.  
"Not for long, we're going to the same school, but we're actually really doing something for the first time today. Know him through a friend who-"  
Louis interrupted her with his laugh and looked at her.  
"And he's taking you to a party? I'm sorry if that sounds mean to you, I ...I just can't believe that. This man kills me"  
"Why, what does Harry all the time have to do with this?", she asked. It slowly bothered her that she didn't understand. She couldn't help it, anyone would almost explode with curiosity! Besides, she couldn't help him if he continued to speak in riddles.  
"You're good friends, right?", she asked. Louis' gaze changed, but Sheina couldn't interpret it.  
"Did... did he say that?"  
Shrugging, she nodded.  
"Well, you talked for a long time and he said he always listens to your... problems and that he's your contact person"  
"I can't believe it", he said softly, looking at his hands, which were playing nervously together. Suddenly the will came over him to tell this Sheina everything. Show her how Harry really was and that she didn't like the real Harry. No one seemed to like the real Harry, because no one knew the real Harry - all but Louis himself. He knew the true Harry and loved him anyway. He couldn't stand it anymore. And the alcohol in him only spurred him on to let everything out.

"What? Louis clarify me"  
"I ...I can't, Harry gets angry if I-"  
"If you what?!"  
"If he doesn't enjoy himself", a voice behind them said, and the two flinched, before they look behind them, where Harry stood. He leaned against the doorframe of the balcony door, arms crossed, then smiled as Sheina looked at him. But Sheina realized that it was set. It didn't reassure her. On the contrary; it scared her.

"Sheina, didn't I say you should hurry up? What are you doing here?"  
Just that clearly put-on kindness confused her.  
"I saw Louis sitting here and wanted to talk to him"  
"If Louis wants to talk, he has his sister, his friends, or me. And he knows that, too, don't you, Louis? "  
He said to Louis and she looked at Louis, who only nodded and looked at his hands. He still hadn't looked at Harry, but he didn't need that.  
"Y-yes, I know"  
Sheina frowned.  
"But you just said-"  
"God, did he drink all this?", Harry interrupted her and took the bottle from the balcony before he sighed.  
"Louis, why do you do that? You know you're just talking crap, when you drink. Don't get confused Sheina, he always falls into the hole of depression. Go up, I'll take care of it"  
Not wanting to go, she looked at him in confusion.  
"What exactly do you take care of?"  
"Him", he nodded to Louis.  
"I can also-"  
"Sheina, I told you to go upstairs and that I'll take care of this", he said, his friendly expression gone.  
"But Louis", she said, placing her hand on his shoulder and looking at her.  
"Please go"  
Slowly, she pulled her hand away and looked at him hurt. What had she done wrong again? Harry didn't seem to be in the mood for a sympathetic conversation, he really scared her. And didn't Louis say something about Harry getting angry? No, she didn't want to leave Louis alone with Harry!

Louis realized that and he didn't want to be alone with Harry himself. That was probably the first time he thought that. But Harry was already angry with him and he was afraid of him. But not to upset him even more, he had to shake off Sheina.

"Please go", he had said with some conviction, but Sheina hesitated for a moment. But then she relented, so she stood up slowly and Harry immediately put his hand on her back, to push her a little bit away.

"I'll take care of him, do not worry"  
"But Harry-"  
"Louis can talk to me very well", he interrupted for the thousandth time, smiling apologetically.  
"Okay ...Louis, you know where to find me"  
She wanted to pass Harry by, but he held her briefly again and put his hand on her back.  
"I'm sorry, sometimes you have to talk to Louis like that, especially when he's drunk. Believe me, he's a tough nut to crack, and I'm sorry for him. I'm just worried about him too and ...there are enough rumours about him already", he said in her ear and she looked behind her at Louis and saw him looking at them, looking sadly at Sheina's back and then turning away.  
"I help him, please don't worry"

Then Harry straightened up and gave her a small smile, which looked more like him again. His eyes glared at her in trust and she had to smile.  
"Yeah, you know him better than me, thank you Harry. You're really a good person"

With that, she walked past Harry out of the room, leaving the two alone. That Louis had previously said that Harry would get angry, and how Harry had initially behaved on the balcony, she had forgotten by his smile and his words in the end.

***

Louis rolled his eyes, because Sheina was just like the other girls, who were fooled by his looks and his fuss. And yet the same thing had happened to him. He heard Sheina close the door behind her and gulped. Maybe it was the alcohol that increased his sense of fear. Harry sighed again, trying to calm down a bit, not to freak out right away.

What a crap

"What were you thinking again?", he said and Louis was silent.  
"Do not ignore me", Harry growled and Louis lowered his head more.  
"I always have to think, you never do that", he said truthfully. Harry remained calm and sat next to Louis, groaning.  
Why do I have to sit on the cold stone floor?!, he thought annoyed when he felt the cold ground. His pants were new, damn it!

"It's just the alcohol that speaks for you", he said calmly, still thinking of himself and his pants. Louis bit his lip to keep it out, which was apparently just the alcohol. Because it was the case that he just didn't dare to say it all without alcohol.

"What did you want to tell Sheina now, huh? That greedy for attention?"  
Louis looked stunned at Harry, but he didn't look like he was joking. He didn't take Louis seriously again and that made Louis angry.  
"What does that have to do with it?! I don't need attention from some slut that's one of the thousands hanging on your ass"

Unlike you do, he thought in his head, but regretted it directly. Fuck, he loved Harry!

"Louis, hey, don't say that, you're not a slut", Harry said seriously, but then had to laugh when Louis looked at him even more stunned.  
"Can you take me seriously for once?!"  
Also, that he didn't defend some girls. He was friends with some of them... 'friends'.  
"If I'm to take you seriously, don't drink a bottle of whiskey alone on the balcony", Harry said annoyed.

Louis paused and looked straight back at the railing.

"Half the bottle", was everything he said. Harry rolled his eyes annoyed. He wasn't in the mood for taking care of this childish behaviour and the did not care for the kidnapping and the crying, but he had to do it before Louis came up with stupid ideas and would tell Sheina the truth. Then he had to do some sob stuff to calm Louis.

He'll forgive me anyway

"Louis, what's going on?"  
Louis didn't seem to want to answer and Harry realized he needed to be nicer.  
"Hey", he said, putting an arm around Louis. This one was confused, but allowed it. He didn't understand why Harry was still sitting with him when he gave him the feeling, he didn't care about him.  
"Harry, I have a question for you", he said softly, and Harry rolled his eyes, which Louis did not see.  
"And I want you to be honest with me. Do you even care for me a little bit?"  
He asked the question he was already afraid. Because inside he had always been afraid that Harry would tell him that it was indeed. Harry waited with his answer.  
"What exactly do you mean?"  
Louis snorted and Harry sighed.  
"How you mean 'care'?"  
"Just alone that you have to ask", Louis said softly, more to himself.  
"You're stupid, too", Harry said.  
"Would I sit here if I would completely give a shit about you?"  
Louis said nothing, then looked at the older boy. He looked at him seriously and Louis' eyes started to sparkle immediately, which made Harry laugh. Louis interpreted too much again.  
"Do not exaggerate, I haven't proposed to you"  
Louis giggled and snuggled closer to Harry, who allowed it. Louis didn't understand Harry, but he took what he got from Harry. And he would forgive him everything anyway. He could never forgive himself if he would let Harry go voluntarily.

"I didn't want to get you in trouble, Haz"  
"Mhm, just think about the consequences next time", Harry said quietly but serious. Louis understood and nodded, snuggling even closer to the larger one and inhaling his smell. He didn't want to think about what the consequences would have been. Harry had arrived in time and had prevented a disaster. That the current situation was the real disaster and that Harry hadn't done so because he was Louis's saviour and wanted to help him, but simply out of pure selfishness and self-interest, he didn't notice. Harry noticed it, but underestimated it.  
"Lou?", Harry asked sweetly and Louis's heart jumped at the nickname. When did Harry last call him that?  
"Yes?"  
Harry didn't really have to ask, he could simply order it. Just as Louis' eyes looked at him with love and longing.  
"How about I tell Sheina quickly that everything is alright..."  
Louis looked straight away at the name, but Harry leaned to his ear.  
"And you already jump into bed?", he said, then smirked and kissed the spot behind Louis' ear, which made the smaller shudder. Without hesitation, he nodded and Harry smiled.  
"Words, Louis"  
"Y-yes", Louis said, turning his head to kiss the older boy. He leaned away, grinning.  
"Impatient, huh?"  
Louis pouted, but that wasn't working with Harry. Instead, he got up and walked straight out of the room. Louis looked after him for a moment, then sighed dreamily, before slowly getting up and going to bed. He stumbled a bit, still a little tipsy, and stripped down to the boxers, then climbed into the big bed where he'd been deflowered by Harry exactly a year ago.

***

As soon as Harry closed the door and turned the key, he went to the bed and took off his shirt. Louis looked at him immediately. Again, he couldn't say it enough: how could he be so perfect?! Actually, Harry shouldn't get involved with anyone here, he was too beautiful for everyone here. Harry grinned at the look of Louis and climbed over the smaller one to kiss him stormily. Louis sighed contentedly and kissed back immediately, hands on Harry's neck. Harry moved his hip against Louis' and the younger man moaned softly.  
"Harry", he sighed as Harry started to kiss his neck, letting his hands wander down to the older boy's belt, which he quickly opened.  
"And I thought you got bored of me", Harry joked grinning against his neck, continuing his movements against Louis and the smaller one quickly shook his head. He normally would say that he never could, that he would never get enough of Harry. Because he always felt so special in such intimate moments, he was finally allowed to do this with Harry. But his senses were completely fogged.  
"Never", he just said briefly, before pushing Harry's pants down. Harry chuckled, enjoying the attention and replaced Louis' hands by undressing his pants on his own.

***

"Unbelievable", Sheina shook her head in astonishment as she admired the beautiful garden in which she stood.  
"Why do you all have such beautiful houses?"  
"All of us?", Lottie repeated questioningly, standing in the arms of Ryan.  
"Well the house of the Styles is so amazing, too"  
Lottie's gaze changed and Camille became aware as well.  
"You were at Harry's home?", she asked, studying her. Sheina frowned. First this Camille was nice, they hadn't understood each other perfectly, but it had worked. And now she was so bitchy? Sheina had already noticed that Camille had a look at Harry, she had made some hints and comments. But she already knew that couldn't lead to anything anyway...?

"Yes, why?"  
"Huh, just asking", Camille said, looking innocently away.  
"By the way, where is he?"  
Sheina didn't know. Last time she had seen him was when he told her that everything was okay with Louis.  
"Hey, where is the little path going?", she asked and Lottie followed her gaze behind her. Behind the pool stood a hedge, next to which a small path went around the corner.  
"Oh, just to the garden shed. Louis has seated himself there, maybe he's inside", she said to Ryan, who had previously asked where her little brother was.  
"Do you think I can take a look at that?"  
Somewhat confused, Lottie nodded.  
"Yeah, I think so. But you know, if you find corpses, you can't tell anyone"  
"Yes, do that", Camille said, seemingly glad to be rid of the pretty brunette.  
"I go looking for Harry"  
Sheina forced herself to not roll her eyes before turning to the path. In fact, it led to a small garden shed and Sheina had to smile. She would have acted just like Louis and settled there. Because despite the large house, it was a nice retreat. Louis himself was safe in here, because around the corner in the back of the garden there were no drunken people and it was quieter.

Without thinking about it, she opened the door. But then her chin fell down and unfortunately not because the device was so nice.

***

"Harry?!"  
Harry, who had not heard the door open, immediately turned to the door.  
"Fuck", he only said and then Sheina saw it. Or rather him.  
"Louis? What the fuck?!", she said in horror as she saw that the person lying under Harry was Lottie's little brother. And yet... suddenly everything made sense.  
"Oh, you...", she just brought out and Harry looked at Louis.  
"Didn't I tell you to lock up?", he hissed sourly and Louis just stared at the door, then at Sheina and then back again.  
"I-I really thought I did..."  
"Well, apparently you haven't thought again, or why is she standing here?"  
"Uh yes and 'she' has questions!", Sheina found her voice again and immediately closed the door behind her.  
"I mean... Harry, what... what about Ashlyn?"  
"Ashlyn?", Louis asked confused and Sheina understood.  
"Oh shit", she thought aloud, staring at Harry stunned, who sighed and went down from Louis. Sheina shook her hand over her eyes, then heard Harry's deep laugh.  
"We're still in our underwear, would you have walked in here a minute later-"  
"Harry!", she said stunned, because this was not a laughable situation.  
"He doesn't know anything about Ashlyn, right? No one seems to know about her! Just as all the girls talk about you here, they can't know anything about her!"  
"Who is that anyway?", Louis asked annoyed and crossed his arms over his chest. But when he saw the serious look of Sheina on Harry, he let them hang. He looked at Harry a little anxiously, taking Sheina serious now.  
"Harry, w-who is Ashlyn?"  
Harry didn't say anything, just rolled his eyes.  
"Sheina, why don't you go out and let me take care of it on my own?"  
"No, you've 'take care of it' enough here", she said angrily. How could he hide that from Louis?  
"Or rather not", she said, looking at Louis.  
"Ashlyn is Harry's girlfriend"

***

First there was silence. Louis didn't know what to say.  
"His...", he looked at Harry, who crossed his arms and then shrugged at Louis' eyes.  
"His girlfriend", he repeated and Sheina nodded.  
"Yeah, she's a friend of mine, that's why we know each other a bit"  
Louis said nothing, got up.  
"I can't believe it", he said calmly.  
"You're doing what you did to me a year ago now? Are you fucking serious?!"  
Sheina's eyes widened and Harry looked at him calmly.  
"Calm down, you're still alive-"  
"Shut up!", Louis interrupted him and Harry looked at him incredulously.  
"You have a girlfriend?! I got involved with you while I thought you had no relationship; didn't you learn from when you saw what you did to me through all this?!"  
"Wow", Sheina said incredulously. So Harry was also into men, had cheated Ashlyn more often with Louis, had been in a relationship with Louis and had cheated on him as well? Too.Much.Information.At.The.Same.Time.

"Harry, how could you?", she asked stunned.  
"Calm down, now"  
"Calm down?!", Sheina screamed angrily.  
"I liked you, you didn't seem to be such an asshole, and what do I get to hear? You cheat on my friend and don't even say you have a girlfriend, and how was that, exactly the same thing you did to Louis?! "  
"Fortunately, that's none of your business", Harry said now, and Sheina kept silent in disbelief. How could you fool yourself so blatantly in a human? Now it made sense, why Louis had been acting the way he did and what he had wanted to talk about with her about. The boy was silent and seemed to be in his own thoughts.  
"Louis, I'm sorry that you have to find out like this", Sheina said when she saw Louis's stare and hugged him.  
He was completely done. All those months he had called the women sluts, who had slept with Harry and made sure that Harry had been unfaithful. And... and now he himself had been one of those sluts? He couldn't believe that Harry was doing this to him. It wasn't just the fact that he seemed to have a relationship. But that he had known how Louis had been hurt and still used him.  
"Just wait until we're telling everyone", she said and Louis looked at Harry. He looked at him as well. Without emotion. Not angry either. He knew Harry. He could understand in one look as much as if he said it. Again, he understood and he made a decision. A decision he might regret.  
Without replying to her hug, he pushed the girl away.  
"No," he said and Sheina looked at him in confusion.  
"How 'no'?"  
"Well, no. I will not say anything and cause a massacre on Harry"  
Because Harry was more important to Louis than anything else. And Louis had to think realistic: He couldn't be mad at Harry; even if he had told Louis that he was in a relationship, Louis wouldn't have changed anything.  
Harry's mouth twitched when he saw the action in front of him. Sheina's look, as she stared at Louis stunned. Yes, Harry himself was stunned by Louis's loyalty. Even back then, when he had crawled right back to him. But this was something else again, Harry had thought it was over for a short moment. And now there stood Louis and was still on his side and would protect him. He had continued to fall for him. And in that situation, this actually gave Harry power and Louis was once really to use.  
"You're sick, Louis", Sheina said and neither of the three realized how right she was. Then she pulled out her phone.  
"Then I'll tell her", she said determinedly and Harry wanted to say something quickly, but Louis spoke first.  
"Oh, really?"  
Sheina nodded, still completely stunned by Louis' behaviour and unlocked her phone. Louis seemed to be the desperate boy and was now acting like a determined bitch?  
Harry himself felt a slight panic, but Louis crossed his arms over his chest.  
"Does your friendship really mean nothing to you?"  
Sheina stopped and looked up, confused.  
"That's why I call her "  
Then she looked at Harry.  
"And so everyone sees what an asshole this great 'gentleman' is"  
"Shut up", Louis defended him immediately.  
"You will not do that"  
"Give me one reason", Sheina said unimpressed, clicking on her contacts to pick out Ashlyn's number.  
"Because she hates you then", Louis said and Sheina raised an eyebrow as she looked at him.  
"And why should she? I save her from a big mistake"  
Louis laughed slightly.  
"Everyone thinks of him as just a kind, charming Harry. And then you run to her and suddenly want to make her believe that he's an asshole that cheats on her just after you get to know him better? She loves him! Do you seriously think she'll believes you? She sure has eyes only for Harry and you know what? She'll think you want him for yourself and want her to break up, because you have no proof. And I don't really have to tell you that I won't support you. If this Ashlyn girl asked me about it, I would say that Harry is a faithful sweetheart and is like a brother to me"

Harry could not believe it. Was Louise just saving his ass? Oh yes, she did.  
Sheina said nothing, did not know what to say. The bad thing was: he was right. He did not know Ashlyn, but he was right.  
"That... that's not true", she said nonetheless, and put a hand on his hip.  
"I don't even know this Ashlyn and I know it's true. She'll hate you if you tell her anything, and everyone will think you're a liar, a bad girlfriend. And no one can suffer sluts, right?"  
Harry had to grin. He was completely stunned by Louis. He had to admit he was impressed. At least a bit. When it came to Harry, little Louis could really be different. Harry himself liked it, of course. But he ignored all other thoughts, perhaps indicating that this was not good behaviour that Louis showed here.  
"Louis, what... what's the shit about?", Sheina angrily said.  
"I do what Ashlyn does when you tell her such a crap: I protect what I love"  
"He's just using you!", Sheina said stunned because Louis didn't seem to understand.  
"You are worth nothing to him, Louis"  
"Shut it", Louis growled, knowing inside of himself that. But he couldn't say that it was the opposite; Sheina would laugh at him.  
"Fortunately, you have no reason to interfere in my life, just as you are doing with Harry's right now"  
"I'm not interfering, I have the balls, unlike you, to tell the truth!"  
"I do not occupy myself with the female body, but I'm sure that would be new to me"  
Sheina rolled her eyes.  
"Well, men are probably assholes without any exceptions. Even though you're just a little boy. Fuck you Louis, you're so selfish, I hope karma will be the bitch like you are to everyone around you except for Harry, who is the last person here who deserves it!"  
With that she turned around and trudged to the door.

"You're so pitiful, Louis", she said before stepping out the door.

Louis let everything she had said through one ear and out through the other. He didn't care what others said, he was in love with Harry and would defend him if he wanted to. Harry was the only person he loved by now. He was the only thing that kept him alive.

Still, he let out a deep breath when Sheina was gone. It had been exhausting to keep a cool head and stay calm. Only now he looked back to Harry, who looked at him stunned. Louis smiled sweetly and again looked so pure and innocent, as if he couldn't hurt a fly and as if he hadn't just been a completely different person.  
"I knew from the beginning that she was a bitch", he said sweetly.  
"Come here", Harry said, taking a step toward Louis to pull him close and kiss him. Louis was surprised and put his hands on the elder's chest. However, he smiled and kissed back with a sigh, regretting absolutely nothing. Because he felt confirmed in his actions.

What could have been bad about showing his true love that you were loyal to them no matter what?

"I love you", Louis said and Harry nodded against his lips.  
"I noticed", he grinned and Louis beamed. Harry made him so happy by saying that. Because all he wanted was that Harry knew he loved him. And he loved the reward he got. When Harry picked him up and carried him back to the couch where they had been interrupted earlier, Louis had to giggle.  
"Forgot that we are half-naked"  
"May even made your little performance sexy", Harry said against his lips and climbed over Louis, who blushed.  
"I thought you didn't like Louise", he teased, grinning as Harry kissed his neck.  
"I've never seen her half-naked while she saved my ass"  
Louis giggled happily and pulled Harry's head back to his lips to lay on the soft of the taller one.  
"We probably should lock the door, Haz"

***

Sheina was hurt. She couldn't believe what an ass Harry was. And that Louis didn't want to help her, but just wanted to expose her, only made things worse. What should she do now? Nothing? She couldn't continue watching Harry cheat on her friend! She really had to think something over.  
"Sheishei", Liam pulled her out of his thoughts, putting his arm around her and pulling her to Gemma and Lottie.

Oh, wonderful

Sheina didn't know if Gemma was as sneaky as her brother, but she had enough of the Styles'.  
"Ah, there you are", Gemma smiled nice and Sheina tried to reply.  
"Did you join Camille's search party, or where were you?", Lottie laughed and Sheina sighed.  
"No, I'm not hanging on his ass like she does, nothing against her, but... yes"  
"Well, you wouldn't be my first friend to drool over him", Gemma said, looking at Lottie, who shrugged with a grin.

Did Gemma just called me her friend?, Sheina thought surprised.

"Leave me alone, just look at him"  
"When did you have a crush on him again?", Liam laughed and Sheina didn't feel like talking anymore. Why was everything about Harry?... Okay, she had liked him too.  
"Oh, why the 'did'?'", Lottie said.  
"I still have a small crush on him, it will always be like that. He is the absolute dream man of every woman"  
"Just do not forget Ryan, your boyfriend", Gemma said jokingly.  
"What?", Sheina asked confused and Lottie rolled her eyes.  
"That was a long time ago, Gemma... that started when I got on well with him and at some point he came along more often when you were with me"  
Sheina frowned. Hadn't Louis said that he had been in a relationship with him? Had the two seriously crushed on Harry at the same time?

"Yeah and then he came without me", said Gemma and Lottie chuckled.  
"Well, that didn't happen that often. And I mean we didn't do anything"  
"Oops, why didn't I know about that?!", Liam said now and Lottie hit him in the chest.  
"Because he's not an asshole, rubbing everybody's nose, who he sleeps with"  
"Wait, what?", Gemma looked at her and Lottie sighed.  
"No, I didn't mean it like that. You know what I mean, Harry keeps things to himself, right? Who he sleeps with-"  
Sheina had to resist some comments. She knew that Lottie lied; Harry clearly made sure that she kept that to herself. So apparently Lottie had something with Harry while he was in a relationship with her brother. Wow.

How can this guy sleep at night?!

"Or defloweres", Lottie grinned, and Gemma grimaced slightly.  
"I love my brother, but I'm sure you can't make me jealous of talking about how he deflowered you"  
"But Sheina. And again, we didn't have sex, calm down"  
Sheina looked at her skeptically.  
"How so?"  
"Come on, admit it. Isn't it just goals, or were you deflowered by such a guy? Are you even deflowered-"  
"Yeah, that's enough alcohol for you", said Gemma, looking apologetically at Sheina.  
"Lottie is pretty direct with something like that"  
"No problem, I see absolutely no problem in saying that I'm still a virgin"  
Liam whistled and stood closer to her.  
"You could change that, you know"  
"I know", Sheina said, looking at him.  
"But I will not, only when I meet someone I'm completely sure of"  
Gemma laughed when Liam rolled his eyes.  
"Good attitude", Gemma said amused.  
"I think everyone should decide for themselves, there are more important things"  
"Yes and that would be the fact you have the opportunity to be deflowered by Harry"  
"Stop it", Sheina said seriously, and Lottie giggled.  
"Am I embarrassing you?"

No, you just make me angry

"Anyway, where is my brother actually?"  
"Maybe Camille found him and raped him", Lottie said in such a serious tone that you might think she was serious.  
"The woman is really giving me a poke", Liam said annoyed, and Sheina wondered if anyone here really liked her.  
"Only runs after Harry, though that will not work anyway"  
Lottie made a pout.  
"Jealous?"  
"Yes, Harry is mine, I've got him almost so far that he jumps with me in the box"  
"Disturbing", Lottie said, while Liam laughed more at his joke than anyone else. If only Lottie knew that the truth would be even more disturbing to her if she knew it.  
"Imagine a threesome with us, I bet that would fulfill all your dreams", Liam continued, and Lottie raised an eyebrow.  
"A threesome with you two, but without you, then I have fulfilled all my dreams"  
"How greedy are you that you talk about my brother like that?", said Gemma and she didn't seem to find it amusing anymore.  
"You want sex, you have a great boyfriend who loves you"  
"You like Ryan? Maybe we can exchange, your brother for my boyfriend"  
"You're sick", Gemma said in Lottie's grinning face and Sheina also found that Lottie was going too far here. It was neither respectful to Gemma nor her boyfriend, whom Lottie talked about here.

Do all Tomlinsons have a Bitch syndrome when it comes to Harry, which makes them not giving a shit about everyone else?!

Gemma recognized someone behind Sheina. If one spoke of the devil.  
"Louis!", Gemma said happily, hugging him.  
"I haven't seen you for a while, happy birthday!"  
"Thank you", Louis smiled, forgot throughout the drama that he had his birthday.  
"I also brought you a gift, did Harry give you his present? Mine is in the bag he took with him"  
Louis looked at her in surprise.  
"You both have a gift for me?"  
"Of course", Gemma smiled and stroked the little one's hair. She always found him so cute and was jealous that Lottie had a little brother. She loved Harry, but she also wanted to have Louis as her brother. He was so cuddly and pure!

"Your hair is completely tousled, what did you do?", she then stated and Sheina bit her tongue, tried to not freak out. Louis' eyes widened briefly.  
"Oh, you know Niall, he's always so hyperactive", he lied then, no longer feeling guilty about lying in Gemma's face. Harry took out all his bad sides.  
Gemma laughed and nodded.  
"You poor thing. Come with me, I'll give you my gift"  
Then she put her hands on her hips and looked around.  
"Where is the idiot of my brother?!"  
"Kitchen", Louis said without hesitation, then blushed.  
"I mean that's where I last saw him"  
"He's better than Camille!", Liam laughed and Lottie grinned.  
"We Tomlinson have the Harry sensor"  
"Your brother only has his... in a different place", Gemma said, annoyed by her allusions to her brother, and Lottie and Liam snorted straight away, Louis made big eyes.  
"Come on", Gemma said, pulling him through the crowd to the kitchen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We love some drama, baby!!
> 
> Thoughts?
> 
> ! If you have questions/remarks, don’t be scared to comment  
> I’m happy about every Kudos and comment <3  
> All the love xx  
> @runningwatermelon  
> (Twitter & Instagram: larrymelon28; Wattpad: runningwatermelon)


	14. ||12||

Gemma lead Louis to the kitchen where her brother was actually standing.  
"Harry?"  
Harry turned to her questioningly, ignoring Louis. Lottie and Liam had followed the two curiously, standing grinning behind Gemma and Louis.  
"What's going on here?", asked a bright voice and Camille looked out from behind Harry.  
Liam sighed softly and Lottie had to laugh.  
"Hey Millie, had a successful safari?"  
Harry frowned and Gemma gave her an annoyed look.  
"I want to give Louis my present. Where's the bag?"  
"Oh, um, yeah", Harry just said, pointing in the direction of the hall.  
"I hope your gift to Louis isn't better than the one for me?", Lottie said and Harry put on his dimpled smile.  
"Oh Lottie"  
She winked at him before turning around and going into the hallway with Liam, Gemma and Camille. Louis continued to look at Harry with bright eyes. He couldn't believe Harry actually had a present for him. His birth alone was enough for him.  
"Control your stare", Harry mumbled as he passed Louis so that he barely heard it. He frowned first, but then understood. Yes, sometimes his eyes were out of control. Without hesitation, he went after Harry into the hall.

"Hurry up though. Harry, we were supposed to be making cocktails", Louis heard Camille's annoying voice.  
"Cock-"  
"Don't you dare!", Gemma interrupted Liam, slapping the back of his head. He laughed and Harry had to smile. And Louis tried not to show his jealousy and death wish. Gemma picked up the bag that had been lying next to the door and took out her present.  
"It's nothing big, but I remembered that-"  
"Omg, thanks!", Louis said immediately when he saw that it was a 30 € voucher for his favourite frozen yogurt store. Sure, she has been looked at very strange, because who even wants that, but those people didn't know Louis and his obsession.  
"I made sure it's long-lasting, so-"  
"It'll be used up in a week", Lottie interrupted, and Louis shrugged, grinning.  
"Thank you, Gemma! That's seriously so kind of you"  
"No problem"

At that moment Ryan came up to them, put his arm around Lottie.  
"Oh, here you are! And Louis also showed up again"  
Lottie looked at him.  
"Where have you been? You just wanted to get something to drink quickly"  
He rolled his eyes at this nice greeting.  
"What can I do if you were gone? You probably ran after Harry again, huh?"  
"Ryan, that's not true", Harry said now and he looked at him.  
"Oh not? Wouldn't be the first time after all"  
"Then you could question yourself about the reason", Lottie said bitchily and everyone looked at her so that no one saw Harry rolling his eyes quickly. Louis was the only one who had watched Harry as he always did and had to giggle, amused at how Harry was anything but supportive of such bitchy actions.  
"We left without thinking, Ryan. I'm sorry", Harry said nicely and Ryan sighed.  
"No, it's okay... sorry, I-"  
"Everything's okay", Harry nodded understandingly, and Louis couldn't look at him like Lottie with a dreamy smile because he was so kind and understanding. Because he knew he was just acting.  
"Can we go to the kitchen now?", Camille asked impatiently and Louis noticed again how he disliked this woman. How she wanted to push Harry out of here to have him all to himself. Hello, it was his birthday!  
"I want a caipirinha now"  
"This isn't allowed here anyway, there are only good cocktails", Liam said now and a discussion started between Liam, Lottie, Ryan and Camille about the best cocktail. Louis sighed, but then smiled as he turned to Harry. Harry understood through Louis' happy expression and chuckled while holding out the bag. Without hesitation, Louis grabbed it and took the gift out. At first, he was confused. And Gemma, too, apparently, because she frowned.  
"A sweater? Are you serious?"  
This wasn't why Louis was confused. He knew the purple sweater he was holding. Had he ever seen him in a store?  
"And isn't it a bit too big?"  
When Gemma said that, it clicked in Louis' head and he looked up at Harry with wide eyes, who only chuckled at the reaction. As if it were a normal gift. God, Louis would faint soon.  
"He had wanted it for a long time, but it was always sold out", Harry just lied and Gemma shrugged.  
"If he's happy", she said.  
"My present was better"  
With that she went behind Harry to the group. Louis was therefore no longer in her field of vision, so he could finally check whether it really was what he was thinking. Or whether he would soon collapse unnecessarily. He pressed the sweater against his face, inhaled and yes. He looked overjoyed at Harry; the sweater pressed tightly against him. It was a sweater from Harry. It was the sweater Harry had bought when he and Louis had been shopping. They had been together then, and Louis had been so excited about how well the colour looked on Harry.

"Thank you", he just managed to say. But the expression on his face, the big smile and the sparkle in his eyes spoke so much more. Harry shrugged.  
"I didn't wear it that often anyway"  
Louis sighed happily and literally hugged the sweater. It smelled of Harry, was soft, purple, big, cosy and just perfect. He would never wash the sweater. At least only when he no longer smelled of Harry but of Louis himself.  
"May I hug you?", Louis asked softly and Harry rolled his eyes.  
"Quickly"  
Louis smiled even more and hugged him stormily. He forced himself to let him go after a short time. Today was really his lucky day.  
"You couldn't have given me a better gift"  
Harry laughed slightly and Camille joined them.  
"Harryyy"  
Louis ignored her and looked at his lavender sweater.  
"Kitchen?"  
Harry nodded.  
"Of course"  
She squeaked over the top and took his wrist to pull him with her. Louis watched him go, still pulling the sweater against himself. Harry didn't look back at Louis again.

"I like the colour", Lottie said, and Louis looked at her, completely forgot that she, Ryan, Gemma and Liam were still there.  
"Will suit you for sure", she said before ruffling his hair.  
"Come on", Liam said, moving the group toward the kitchen.  
Louis, however, went in the opposite direction. He didn't want to go to Camille anyway. And Harry didn't want him to be with him so much when there were others, he knew that. He had talked a surprising amount with him today in public. But it was only because he wanted to act like a good friend and give the birthday boy a present. He didn't even have to spend extra money and Louis would have been happy with anything from Harry anyway. But Harry hadn't really worn the sweater anyway, had bought it because of Louis and his fuss in their relationship. So now he was rid of the thing.

Louis hopped up the stairs, went to his room, and took off his shirt to pull on his sweater immediately. He sighed, because it smelled like Harry and it was so big and comfortable. With a big smile, he dropped with his back onto the bed. This also smelled slightly of Harry and Louis couldn't help but close his eyes. He hadn't been so happy for a long time. He really thought the night would end well.

***

Sheina enjoyed the presence of Gemma and Liam. The two were really nice. While she was still unsure whether Gemma really was as she was, it really seemed like she loved Harry as she knew him. And he appeared to be in front of her just as he did in front of the others. Sheila just pushed the thought out, as well as she did with Harry and Camille, who were also in the group and just wanted to enjoy the relaxed atmosphere.

Louis, however, couldn't stop looking at Harry. He sipped his coke happily; he had drunk enough alcohol and was tired of the nasty taste. How could he not be happy? He had had his first time with Harry a year ago and now, a year later? He was standing here in his lavender sweater, had had sex with Harry twice today. With a sigh, he looked at the older boy. He stood there as the god he was and was laughing with Liam; carefree and as if he ignored the looks of the women around him for a moment with laughter with his buddy. Louis' lips immediately twisted into a smile, couldn't help it when he saw Harry laughing so happily. His jealousy no longer worked with Liam; he wasn't Harry's type anyway. Louis was Harry's type. And he should be the only one, too!

His smile immediately disappeared when a group of girls joined the two boys. Apparently, he didn't know one because he reached his hand out and seemed to introduce himself. Louis still had to smile because the reactions from people were always the same when Harry introduced himself like that. He remembered exactly how confused he himself had been. Harry's gaze met that of Louis, who shyly pressed his lips together. He kept eye contact for a moment, then looked briefly over Louis' body, which looked even smaller in the large sweater. The corner of his lips went up briefly, before he turned back to the girls. This man drove Louis crazy. Louis didn't know how crazy.

"Here you are!", Niall came to him with a sigh.  
"I was looking for you everywhere! Where have you been?"  
"Oh, here then there", Louis only said, turning his gaze back to Harry. It was not possible for him to say that while Niall was looking for him, he partly slept with Harry.  
This one was just laughing. Even from here, Louis could see his dimple, which he loved so much.  
"Louis, is everything okay?", Niall asked and then wanted to follow his gaze, but was prevented from doing so by the prominent colour.  
"What is this sweater?"  
"Harry gave it to me", Louis said without hesitation.  
"A little too big", Niall laughed, and lifted Louis' Arm, which was swallowed up completely with his hand by the sweater.  
"I wanted it that way", Louis only said and Niall shrugged.  
"Anyway, suits you"  
Louis smiled.  
"Harry really seems to like you"  
"He's just nice," Louis replied.  
Niall smirked and Louis smiled happily at him, but then Niall frowned.  
"Do you know who annoys me? A certain girl, with Harry all the time-"  
"Camille?", Louis knew immediately who Niall was talking about and followed his gaze. She really couldn't help sticking to Harry's ass all the time, making him pretty eyes and touching him all the time.  
"She always has to brag herself and laugh out loud", Niall said annoyed, she knew her from school.  
"Well, anyway. I'm going to find something to eat"  
Louis laughed and nodded, letting him go.

"Well hello!", came his big sister to him soon and put an arm around him.  
"Little brother, you're awake for a long time"  
"Um, I-"  
"Hey, I think it's cool! Tell me, what are you drinking? Hopefully only alcohol you are allowed to drink?"  
"I-"  
"Never mind, I don't care about that, was only joking. Have fun!", she laughed, ruffling his hair.  
"It's just Coke", Louis finally said.  
"Boring", she stuck out her tongue.  
"If you want to enjoy yourself, you are welcome to have a real drink. Just be careful, yes? Not too much"  
"Better tell yourself that", Louis grinned, then looked back at Harry. Lottie had no idea how much he had been enjoying himself today. He frowned when he saw Gemma and Camille discussing.  
"What's going on there?", Lottie asked, who noticed it now.  
"I don't-"  
"Come on, we're spreading a good mood up there!", she said firmly and already pulled Louis to the group. Her little brother was stunned to go along. What should he do now? Because he had never gone to Harry when he was with his people. Only with exceptions, if he had to show everyone that he was nice to Lottie's brother. How should he behave now? He didn't want to annoy him again.

"Heyoooo people! Who would like to mix my little brother a good drink?!"  
Everyone looked at them and Louis' already hated the attention his somewhat attention-grabbing sister had drawn to them.  
Harry's eyes seemed to pierce his, as if to say 'How dare you coming to me like this?!'. Louis gulped and looked away.  
Lottie looked into Gemma's face and clicked her tongue.  
"What's going on here?"  
"Nothing", Gemma said, and Camille gave her a bitchy look before moving closer to Harry, if that was possible. Louis couldn't control himself and glared at her. Luckily nobody saw that except Harry, who was already annoyed by the younger one.  
"I need fresh air", Gemma said, who wasn't a person for arguments and headed straight for the garden. Camille grinned satisfied; Harry watched her go.  
"Well, she's in a hurry", said Lottie and Liam laughed slightly. Louis watched her go, would have loved to run away from that Camille, too. Maybe Louis could just come out to Gemma and the two of them would throw Camille off her high horse? It would be nice, Louis thought.

"Gosh, Harry", Sheina sighed annoyed. Because what kind of brother was Harry that he didn't follow her just because Camille was hanging on his arm and drooling over him?!  
She hurried after Gemma and now Harry frowned. It looked like worry to the others, but he was only worried about what might would come out if Sheina and Gemma talked to each other alone for a long time.  
"I'll go after her", said Harry, taking the first step. But Louis couldn't always control his jealousy that drove him again. Because even if Sheina didn't want anything from Harry - he was jealous of every girl anyway.

"Haz, don't go!"

Everyone was silent and Harry stopped immediately. Louis turned bright red and looked at his hand, which had clasped the older boy's wrist in reflex.

Fuck.

***

After a while, Liam was the first to find his voice again, because he started to laugh.  
"Haz?! Did I miss something here?!"  
Lottie had to smile too.  
"That you are that close and have some cute nicknames for each other is new to me, too. How cute"  
Louis immediately let go of Harry, his stomach aching painfully and a stinging running through his chest. They should all shut up, the words would only make Harry angrier. Angry with Louis.

He was terrified of Harry's reaction. However, he couldn't see it, because Harry was still standing still with his back to the group. But he could imagine how he looked and he didn't want to see that look. Louis hated himself and his instinct. He had just acted like that because he had automatically thought Harry would go after Sheina and... Harry had always kept Louis away from him for that reason when there were others. He had known something like this would happen; both of them actually. Louis hated himself for it.

And Harry sure did now, too.

"Haz! I can't believe it! I've been looking for a perfect nickname for Harry for years. And now I finally have one"  
Louis hated Liam. Why did he have to provoke him further?!  
"Or no! Hazzaaaa"  
"God, Louis. Do you think you are better friends with him just because of the nickname? You really try everything", Camille said and Louis glared at her. Then he looked back to Harry. The latter had tensed and clenched his hands into fists. Louis gulped and tried to make himself smaller than he already was.  
"Leave him", Lottie said now, who had apparently noticed that the situation was less laughable.  
"Harry, what's wrong?"  
"Don't you mean 'Haz'?", Camille continued to provoke.  
"What's wrong? Loulou just wants to stay with his daddy"  
Louis stared at Liam. Did he suspect something?!  
"Shut up, Liam", Harry hissed, and Lottie looked at him in shock. Understandable, because she didn't know this side of Harry. The side of him that only scared you. She didn't know how scary the cute dear Harry could be.  
"Wow, Harry, chill-", she wanted to say, but Liam cut him off.  
"Hazza"

Harry jerked around, unable to hold on.

"Jesus, only because Louis has feelings for me!"

***

Not only Louis' mouth fell open. The group was silent. Harry Styles had just outed Louis. In front of people whom Louis never intended to tell anything about.  
"What?", Lottie asked softly and Louis noticed how tears were gathering in his eyes. Lottie herself couldn't help feeling fooled. All the moments that she had talked about Harry, did Louis like him? All the moments when she asked Louis for advice and Louis always advised her not to go with Harry but to focus on her boyfriend... he just said it out of selfishness to quench his jealousy?

Harry exhaled and looked at Louis. When he saw the expression on his face, he swallowed slightly. Louis saw it for a moment. Regret. He seemed sorry for a brief moment. Because from now on, so much would change. Lottie would no longer trust Louis if she knew what was going on in Louis. She would tell Gemma, everyone would know. Louis wasn't ready for it and Harry had known that.  
He didn't really trust anyone, Niall and Whitney in some things; he didn't tell them everything. Harry, on the other hand, knew everything about him and it was the only thing he had ever done for Louis. He had kept these things to himself.  
But now it was out.

Harry's eyes changed again, he seemed to be gathering up again. Louis didn't know what to expect. He had known that Harry would not now come out with the truth and tell that he was bi himself and what was going on between them.  
But he had expected an apology, as any other person would have done; certainly, also simply out of reflex. Or that Harry would make things easier by saying that it was over the top and he meant it differently, and would then find a good excuse. Because Harry was good at making excuses. But Louis had probably forgotten that Harry was only good at making excuses when it came to saving his own ass and standing well again. For Louis, he didn't have to bother and strain his brain cells.

"Louis, at some point you have to stand to it... I just want to help you"  
Louis' heart broke. Harry just let him stand there. Alone. Pretended that he was the lovely friend who had just slipped out so that Louis was outed and could learn to accept himself. As if Louis was a little child.  
At the thought and through the eyes of others on him, looking at him with a mixture of pity and shock, he couldn't prevent anger from accumulating in him. He didn't want shitty pity from these people; they had no idea how he was doing.

"What the fuck", Camille whispered, then looked at Lottie's and Liam's face, couldn't help and began to laugh.  
"Oh my god! I should have notice it. Louis, you really have some good taste at least"  
"Louis", Harry sighed and continued to act all lovely, which made the anger take over. And Camille's laughing didn't help at all.

"Shut up"  
Harry seemed a little surprised. Because Louis hadn't said it snappily, as Louise had always done.  
"Louis, I understand-"  
"I said shut up!", Louis said loudly and the older boy's eyes widened. Louis had never shouted at him so furiously.  
"Lou", Lottie said, putting a hand on his shoulder. He immediately pushed her away.  
"No! You don't understand me at all, so don't pretend! And don't pretend to be sorry!"  
Then he turned back to Harry.  
"You're a bloody asshole! I hate you!", he said loudly and with that he stormed off towards the stairs. He tried to stop the tears, at least until he got to the room, but he couldn't.

***

"Oh shit", said Lottie, still completely stunned. She felt betrayed by Louis. And in her opinion, it had been really embarrassing how Louis had screamed.

Then she looked at Harry, who also looked a bit shocked. He couldn't believe how Louis had just escalated. He never thought that Louis would find it that bad; Louis had never shouted at him like that or insulted him. Of course, he knew that Louis didn't hate him, you couldn't change your feelings that quickly; especially not as strong as Louis had. But just how he had said it. Harry still heard it in his head. He had said it so angrily and beyond himself; as if he meant it the same way. He hadn't been the desperate misery Harry had always seen. He had had enough guts to say that in front of everyone else. Harry had underestimated Louis. And in spite of the situation, he only thought of himself and that in his anger Louis might tell something to someone; just to take revenge on Harry. He would certainly regret it, but Louis had just been so angry and Harry didn't know what the kid was capable of. He had never seen him like this, so he couldn't asses him.

"Do you want to go after him?", Lottie pulled him out of his thoughts uncertainly. Harry shrugged.  
"I don't know, do you think that's the right thing?"  
Lottie had to smile, was still so nice to the boy.  
"Harry, you can't always do the right thing in life"  
Harry frowned, because that's how he wanted to look like. Like someone who had his life under control. Confident, liked by everyone due to his friendliness and always with the right intentions. He wanted to come across as he was not at heart. And just now it was difficult for him to maintain this facade.

"I think he needs his rest first"  
She looked at him briefly and he held her gaze until she let go of the intense look and sighed.

There you are

"I... yes, can be. I mean, I don't know. I just can't believe it"  
He nodded.  
"Yeah, sure. But please believe me, I... it just slipped out. I have wanted Louis to tell you about it for a long time. Just because I don't want to lie to you either"

With the last sentence, he knew he had her.

"I know it's not easy, but... he has to stand to it. He'll be better and it was the best for him. Do you understand me?"  
"Of course", Lottie nodded immediately.  
"I understand you; you don't have to apologize. I find it admirable and so kind of you that you stand on his side even though he has... feelings for you"

It was clear that the girl would trust him directly. And the next moment she was in his arms again.

"Thank you"  
Then she raised her head to look at him.  
"I understand him, you know? Who knows, maybe we'll sit together soon and rave about you"  
He laughed and came closer to her face, whereupon she immediately held her breath.

"Louis can be happy to have you as his sister", he murmured, looking at her lips. She stayed serious.  
He wanted to see how far Lottie would actually go. He wanted to know how important he was to her. If he was still important enough, she would continue to trust him and let him go ahead with the Louis business and he could plan everything in peace. She wouldn't interfere if he said it. Not even as Louis' sister.  
When Lottie actually wanted to close the small gap between their lips, Harry backed away and let go of her.  
"I'm sorry", he said uncertainly and Lottie immediately took the step he had taken away from her back.  
"What is it, Harry?", she said, trying to put her hands on the back of his neck, but he held them tight.  
"I didn't think. I don't know what that was all about. I'm sorry"  
Lottie only now seemed to realize that she had a boyfriend, because she gulped.  
"Oh, right. I... oops"  
Harry forced himself not to chuckle.  
"You should go to Ryan"  
Lottie rolled her eyes.  
"Harry, we didn't do anything"  
"But almost. And that's enough. I'm sorry"  
"Stop apologizing", Lottie said sweetly, smiling slightly. She really wanted to kiss Harry. And Harry was amazed that she would have done it, even though she had just found out that her brother was into him.  
The two really didn't care about each other when it came to Harry. He had destroyed a sibling's love. But he didn't care. On the contrary, it was only an advantage for him.

***

The joy didn't last long because as a 'Harry?' sounded behind them and he recognized the voice, he turned abruptly. He was fucked. Sheina had an ace up her sleeve. And she suppressed a malicious grin.  
"Ashlyn? What... what are you doing here?", Harry asked, trying to stay calm. Thank god Lottie was already gone.

Chill. Nothing is lost yet

"Oh, she had no plans and I invited her spontaneously", Sheina replied for her and Harry had to pull himself together not to kill her right away.

That smart bitch

Sheina hadn't been able to do anything else, she just had to do something. And Ashlyn would make sure Harry couldn't do anything else with Louis. At least for today. So that was not a real solution, but it was something.

"Come on", Harry said immediately, pulling Ashlyn, who hadn't had a chance to say anything, into an empty corner. But Sheina immediately followed. She would never leave the asshole alone with her friend ever again.  
"Harry? You're acting weird, are you okay? Don't be mad, Sheina pushed me"  
Harry put on his charming smile, which thankfully didn't disappoint despite the situation in which everything was about to collapse and he was so under pressure. He brushed a strand of hair behind her ear.

"Hey, it's all right. Of course, I'm happy to see my sweetheart", he said, kissing her, making her smile in love.  
"You look beautiful", he said and she sighed happily.  
"You, too"  
He kissed her hand, which he then took. Sheina had looked away, had to control himself to not toll Ashlyn the truth straight away.  
"But listen, I... I don't know how to tell you"  
Ashlyn looked at him worriedly.  
"What's going on?"  
"I haven't told anyone about you here yet", he said softly, and Sheina couldn't believe what Harry was going to serve her up. How did he want to prevent everyone from knowing that Harry was actually in a relationship?! He couldn't, which is why Sheina had brought her here.  
"Oh... well then you can introduce me now?", Ashlyn said understandingly and really didn't seem to develop a bit of suspicion.  
"If it was that easy, I'd have told everyone about you long ago", Harry sighed, looking at their clasped hands.  
"It's a bad moment right now. Please believe me, I..."  
Ashlyn hesitated.  
"So, what's going on?"  
"I... I can't tell you yet. But there are private reasons and I don't want you to get hurt. Please trust me. Do you trust me?"  
Ashlyn's eyes softened. Sure, because she thought Harry wanted to protect her from something.  
"Of course, I trust you, honey. No matter what, I'll always trust you"

Sheina swallowed hard because it was clear that Louis had been right. She wouldn't believe a word of Sheina if there were no witnesses and Harry and Louis would also deny it themselves. She felt so bad and useless. She was a terrible person.

Harry, on the other hand, didn't seem to feel guilty or shy about sticking his tongue in Ashlyns mouth again. Sheina had always thought about them as a dream couple and was always happy when Harry had treated her so lovingly.

Dirty asshole. I can't believe how easily Harry can manipulate people around him

But she didn't consider why Harry was doing this. She thought of the people who were hurt and how Harry hurt them. She didn't think that Harry was someone who might have been hurt, too. She only saw him as the culprit and the asshole who deliberately used everyone around him. Then the moment was interrupted when Liam came up to her and put his arm around her. And she looked directly at Harry and Ashlyn, but the two had already stopped long ago. Crap.  
"Have you heard already? Louis has a crush on Harry. So, have to make an effort if you already have male competition now"  
Sheina looked at him in shock.  
"What? How do you know that?!"  
Liam explained what had happened and she stared at Harry. Ashyn looked at him.  
"Did you mean this?"  
"Whoo, who is that?", Liam noticed the unknown girl only now.  
"Ashlyn and she has a boyfriend", Harry growled. For Ashlyn, it should look like he was saying that so Liam didn't think she was single and to keep him away from her. Sheina couldn't think about that. She was too shocked that Harry had done that.  
Liam just shrugged his shoulders, was probably no longer interested in the subject, and no longer in Ashlyn, and left as quickly as he had come.

"Where's Louis?"  
"Let me talk to him", Harry looked at Sheina, who immediately shook her head. She would never allow Harry to wrap Louis around his finger again. If Louis was really angry... maybe he'd woken up a bit and would tell Ashlyn the truth.  
"I think Harry should talk to him", Ashlyn said and Sheina sighed. She of course thought that Harry just wanted to apologize and make clear that he was straight. Bullshit.  
"If you go, we at least go together"  
"All right", Harry sighed, and Sheina wondered why Harry wanted to talk to Louis now. She had thought he wanted to talk to him alone to manipulate him again. What was the asshole up to now?

"I...", he looked at Ashlyn, who gave him an encouraging smile. Her eyes were full of love and affection.

Anything Harry doesn't deserve, Sheina thought, crossing her arms over her chest.

"I'll come back to you after that", Harry said, but something had changed in his tone. Only Sheina seemed to notice that; Ashlyn was blind of love anyway. Sheina frowned. It was like his facade was crumbling.

"You are so sweet. I can wait, take care of this guy. I love you"  
Without saying anything else, Harry kissed her briefly before following Sheina to Louis' room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed <3
> 
> ! If you have questions/remarks, don’t be scared to comment  
> I’m happy about every Kudos and comment <3  
> All the love xx  
> @runningwatermelon  
> (Twitter & Instagram: larrymelon28; Wattpad: runningwatermelon)


	15. ||13||

"What, no 'I love you my beautiful angel'?", Sheina said annoyed, but Harry said nothing. She looked at him in confusion as they went up the stairs, but he just looked straight ahead. So Sheina was left confused and knocked on Louis' door. No answer. She knocked again and put her hand on her hip. Then she noticed that Harry had been looking at her all the time.  
"What?", she asked annoyed. He stayed calm and waited for his answer.  
"I really meant what I said while eating"  
Sheina didn't understand and raised her eyebrow.  
"I really like you, Sheina. You are a good friend"  
A little surprised and maybe a little overwhelmed, Sheina's cold expression changed. She swallowed hard. Was he serious? Or was that just another trick of his? What was he up to, did he want to talk to her conscience?

I can't trust him, she thought to herself.  
And he neither deserves me as a friend, nor my trust

So, she just opened the door without answering. That was the easiest way. She heard Harry sigh behind her before he followed her into the room and then closed the door behind him. The window to the balcony was still open, but this time Louis wasn't sitting outside. The only light that fell into the room was the light from the garden through the window, through which people and music could also be heard quietly.  
"Where is he?", Sheina thought out loud. Maybe he'd run to the garden shed?  
Harry pushed his arm lightly against her shoulder and nodded to the bathroom door, through which a beam of light fell through the gap below. She gave Harry a quick look before going to the door to knock softly.  
"Louis?"  
No answer. Sheina thought at first that he might not be in the bathroom at all, but then she heard a soft sniff and sighed.  
"Hey, this is Sheina... I heard what happened. I want to talk to you; would that be okay?"  
"Please go", Sheina got an answer from a low voice that broke in the end.  
She heard something metallic fall into the sink, so she frowned. Harry pushed her aside and tried to open the door, but it was locked. Sheina saw him roll his eyes and was immediately glad that she hadn't left him alone with Louis.  
"Louis. Open up"  
The sniffling stopped immediately and Sheina could imagine Louis immediately frozen.  
"H-Harry?"  
He smiled.  
"Who else. I thought you recognize my voice without a doubt?"  
Sheina frowned because there was something soft in Harry's voice. She even thought she saw a brief smile on his lips.

Oops?

"Do I have to repeat myself?", Harry growled after a few seconds when the door was still not open as he had ordered.  
"N-No, wait", Louis stammered and you could hear the slight panic in his voice, which is why Sheina curiously put her ear to the door. Then she heard a drawer being thrown and shortly afterwards the faucet while the rustling of clothes was heard.

What the hell is he doing?!, Sheina thought confused.

When the faucet went out it didn't take long for the door to be unlocked and a howled Louis to open the door. He looked completely shaken: red, howled and swollen eyes and a flushed face. Sheina eyed him briefly, but found nothing unusual about him. What had he done in there?  
She didn't even know if Louis had only looked at her once; he just stared at Harry, or at his chest. He just couldn't look him in the eye. Not the way he looked and acted. And he didn't want to see Harry's eyes on him, it would only make things worse. Was Harry angry? Or was he making fun of Louis? No matter what it was, it would hurt Louis.  
Nobody knew exactly what to say. Sheina was about to take the first step and say how sorry she was, when Louis jumped and clutched Harry. This one seemed pretty surprised.  
"I'm so sorry Harry, please forgive me!", he muttered desperately and cried in Harry's shirt, only tightening his grip on the taller's waist as if his life depended on it. Unfortunately, it did. Because Louis couldn't live without Harry. He didn't care what he had just done; he just wanted to be with him. Hugging him again made sure that he didn't want to end his life anymore.  
Harry himself just stared down at the boy with wide eyes. Again, Louis surprised him today, he just couldn't quite believe it. And don't understand either. He felt his self-confidence come back and was about to say that Louis had to make up for it. But then Sheina couldn't stand it anymore.  
"Louis!", she called, pulling him away from Harry. She had to use quite a bit of force, as much as Louis had clung to him.  
"What's that supposed to mean?!", she said completely beside herself and Louis looked at the floor.  
"What are you apologizing for now?! He should be the one to apologize with tears!", she spoke the truth, which the two had lost sight of for months.  
"I-I screamed at him and said that... that I hate him", Louis could barely say and looked at Harry, who looked away.

Doesn't he have anything to say?!, Sheina got angrier.

"Go on", she said.  
"You know, he didn't deserve anything else", she said, because in her opinion that was true. Harry hadn't deserved anyone in his life who loved and defended him as much as Louis did. She paid no attention to Harry's feelings, didn't even think that he had any.  
"Don't say that!", Louis defended him again.  
"Finally wake up!"  
"Stop screaming. Jesus", Harry said annoyed now, crossing his arms over his chest. She looked at him in disbelief.  
"You allow yourself something"  
Louis, of course, was silent immediately.  
"You said you wanted to talk to Louis"  
"That was before he clutched you and apologized"  
"What did you expect from him?", Harry said, although he had expected something else, too. He had thought he would have to talk to Louis and be nice. But he hadn't had to do anything. And that was the first time that Harry was a little scared. Not in the sense that he was afraid Louis might get hurt or have psychological problems. No, he was afraid of being stalked by the smaller one at some point.  
"Guys, I... am right here and can hear you", Louis said quietly and the two of them looked at the little boy who was looking at his feet. Sheina sighed.  
"I'm sorry, I... I just don't know what to say"  
"Nothing", Harry said calmly, and she looked at him.  
"What?"  
"Sheina, that's still a thing between me and Louis. Why are you making everything so complicated?"  
Sheina wanted to groan directly, then frowned. She had heard this sentence before. For example, from her ex. With this knowledge, she paused for a moment. Maybe it was true?  
"Nonsense, I just want to help Louis", she said then.  
"Besides, you pulled me in there when you cheated on Ashlyn!"  
"God, I should never have slept with Ashlyn", Harry swore, and she snorted.  
"I beg your pardon?"  
"I met her in a bar and we had something. I didn't know that she was going to our school, I never paid attention to her. And she thought directly that we love each other and I had to play along, otherwise she would have told the whole school. I couldn't let everyone think I was one who- "  
"Cheats and fucks around with girls and boys? Harry, they wouldn't think so, they would finally know! Because that's how you are! Why don't you at least admit that you're an ass? Why do everyone have to see you as a great, perfect gentleman?!", Sheina got angry again and confronted Harry with the truth.  
"Sometimes I can't do anything-"  
"Don't say it! I'm warning you! Because you are someone who can't even begin to say or think this sentence!", she interrupted him immediately and Harry was silent.  
"Sheina", he said then, swallowing slightly. He swallowed his pride and the hard words of Sheina.  
"You don't know me well enough to understand me", he growled, suddenly getting angry. Angry with everyone around him, with his life. But most of all on himself.  
"Harry, I know you", Louis said softly immediately and put his hands around Harry's forearm, then looked at him with wide eyes that glimmered hopefully.  
"I understand you"  
Harry roughly pulled his arm away.  
"You don't know me, Louis. Nobody knows me!", he said angrily and stormed out of the room.

Confused by this turn, Sheina watched him go. What did he mean now?  
They all didn't seem to know all of Harry's sides and it scared her. She had thought she would know everything about Harry now, as well as Louis. But apparently, they didn't know the one thing about Harry that made him what he was. Because it made no sense that he only said that to justify himself. After all, he didn't have to before Sheina and Louis simply because Louis had forgiven him no matter what.  
"Louis... please stay away from Harry", Sheina said then.

Louis, however, got angry. It hurt that he didn't seem to know everything about Harry. All the time, he had assumed he was the only one who knew everything about Harry. And now he found out that there was a side of him that he didn't know?! It just couldn't be that Sheina knew him as well as Louis!  
"Stop it! I never asked for your help! Don't you realize that I can't be helped anymore?! Just get it! You're only making things worse; Harry certainly hates me now!"  
"Louis"  
He stormed past her into the bathroom and before she could follow him the bathroom door was locked.

What should she do now? And why was she to blame? She was just trying to help.

Have I perhaps overreacted?

Sheina suddenly grew cold and rubbed her upper arms. She was still hurt when she thought of her ex. She just wanted Ashlyn to make no mistake. The same with Louis. But she had made everything worse, it seemed to her. And she couldn't get rid of the thought that Harry had a secret that could explain everything. Why didn't he say it? Was it that bad? Was he that ashamed of himself?

She decided to go after him. She was still angry and she still hated him, but deep inside she had taken him to heart. The moments he had spent with her before she got to know his real self, had been great. She had been jealous of Ashlyn many times, sometimes even been afraid of falling for the boy.  
She sighed as she searched the rooms. She couldn't find him anywhere and couldn't help worrying. She felt guilty. If Harry had told the truth, he had a problem for which he couldn't help it and for what he was ashamed of. He seemed so serious about that beforehand. She had expected him to threaten her after her timpani, in which she had confronted him with the truth. But suddenly he had been in his own thoughts. But Sheina didn't think any further.

It's still Harry. And he's still an asshole, she had to remember.

***

Sheina sighed a little annoyed when she still hadn't found him after searching forever. Not even Camille or Lottie knew where the boy was. Annoyed, she opened the front door ans stepped outside.

Maybe I should just call a taxi and drive home. Just get away from here; preferably with Ashlyn.

She sighed again and looked around, then frowned immediately. Seriously? Harry had been here the whole time? However, he wasn't alone, he was standing a little further away on the street with Liam. He just patted Harry on the shoulder and said something. Only then did her eyes fall on Harry's hand, which took a small bag from Liam and saw him looking at it. Sheina took a deep breath and went to the two with quick steps. She didn't know what the contents of the bag were, but she had an idea that it wasn't good.

"Liam!"  
Both heads shot up to her and they immediately turned to the girl, so that Harry could stuff the bag into his back pocket almost unnoticed.  
"Sheina, are you leaving?"  
She stopped at the two and crossed her arms over her chest.  
"What the fuck?!"  
"What?", the two asked at the same time and then looked at each other.  
"I saw it", she rolled her eyes. Then she saw Harry's eyes, which were neither beaming nor sparkling menacingly. They didn't radiate anything, just emptiness. He looked tired and exhausted. And somehow sad.  
"Harry... that's no solution for your problems", she said softly, and Harry looked away.  
"And why did you just run away? Even Camille didn't know where you were and that has to mean something"  
"Yeah honestly, Sheina. What do you want? You are just as drooling over Harry, so shut up"  
Sheina raised her eyebrows at Liam's testimony.  
"I'm what? Please stay out of my life"  
"I should stay out of it? You especially. Man, I really thought you were totally chilled, but goosh. You exaggerate badly"  
There it was again. This sentence. Sheina swallowed her grief.  
"How please? I bet you know half about what's going on here"  
"I know everything. Probably more than you, so shut up"

Stop, Liam knows about Harry's problem? Didn't Harry mean nobody knows about it?

"What do you know, what I don't know? I found out about Louis earlier today than you did"  
Liam laughed with amusement.  
"Wow, congratulations. He's half a girl too, if he likes men. He sure needed an exaggerated and involved little girl then"  
Sheina said nothing in disbelief. Liam hadn't said that now, had he? He didn't know a thing about Harry, she was sure of that from now on. She saw Harry swallow hard. No wonder Harry couldn't tell anyone; with such friends.  
"Homophobic asshole. Louis is a man like you, like any other gay man in the world. I bet most are more men in pants than you"

Harry had enough. He had to get out of here. He couldn't stand it anymore. The situation, the discussion in front of him, the evening, his life.  
"While you are arguing here, I will...", he said, holding the bag up, then started to leave.  
"Get it, bro", Liam patted him on the back and Sheina looked at him incredulously.  
"Dumbass", she said, and Liam just shrugged.  
"So, I'm not the one to blame for anything here"  
Sheina couldn't get rid of the feeling that everyone in Harry's life was somehow to blame for his behaviour. She sighed, let it slide with Liam and followed Harry.

"Harry", she held him by the arm and he stopped with a sigh.  
"Sheina. Just leave me alone"  
Sheina let go because of his tone and then watched him as he walked down the street. He had sounded so hurt. So sad. So desperate.

What have I done?

***

Slowly she went after him and he walked a little further down the street before sitting on a bench, which stood on a lawn in the direction of the view. Sheina saw him playing with the bag in his hand and apparently still unsure. Slowly, she sat down next to him, taking care to leave some distance between the two of them and not annoy him.  
"Please..."  
He looked at the brunette.  
"Since when you care, now?"  
She was silent and he just nodded and looked straight ahead at the view.  
"If you do that, then not without me", she said firmly and he stared at her stunned.  
"Sheina-"  
But she shook her head.  
"It would be sad to do something like this alone, right?"  
He was silent and she raised an eyebrow, holding out her hand. Then he chuckled slightly and put the bag in her hand. Sheina let out a satisfied breath and put it away.  
"There you are. It only makes things worse, you know "  
Harry's face fell again and he looked at his hands, which he held crossed between his legs.  
"It can't get any worse"  
"I often think so, too. And you know what? Then life comes and hits my face even more "  
He laughed lightly and she grinned. Then they were both silent and just looked straight ahead. It was a peaceful night. At least on nature's sight.  
"Man, I fucked up"  
She had to grin.  
"Really? You noticed early"  
He smiled and looked at her.  
"No seriously, I... I never really realised, you know ..."  
Now she frowned.  
"What do you mean?"  
"I never realized what I was doing to them with it. Everyone involved. I did what was good for me, what had a good impact for me. I've never noticed what it does to the people I used to do it. I was just thinking about myself and just focusing on myself and not noticing the effects of my actions"  
Sheina was silent for a moment and thought about what he just had said.  
"And with Louis?"  
He was silent and she saw him swallow.  
"I noticed it, but didn't worry about it. I thought that would go away again, he would be fine again", he laughed briefly, which only sounded sad.  
"My God, I thought I was doing him a favour. I apparently just talked myself into this to satisfy my unconscious feelings of guilt. I didn't see how I... hurt him "  
"You broke him, Harry"  
Harry looked away so that the brown-haired girl could no longer see his face. She only heard him take a few deep breaths and exhale.

He isn't trying to cry right now, is he?

"Harry? What... what's going on that you didn't notice all of this and didn't worry about it? You said that you only did what is good for you in the foreground... how can something be good for you, except maybe... no idea... that you have something with several people?"  
He winced and she wondered why.  
"I-I..."  
His voice broke and she saw a tear fall on the floor. Shocked, she slid to him and hugged him. She felt how he breathed faster and his hand tightened on her arm.  
Sheina was a little overwhelmed. She didn't know Harry well enough to know what to say or how to behave. And yet she was certain that even people who knew him well wouldn't know. As she knew and got to know Harry, she was sure that he never cried in front of others. The girl had seen Louis as the weak one who always sought and cried in Harry's arms.

But maybe Harry needed someone to hold him himself.

Who knows, maybe Louis had seen Harry cry before? Sheina could at least imagine, she didn't know why.

Maybe Louis knows how to act in this situation?

Only now she realized that Harry was no longer crying so hard, but was quietly letting his tears run.  
"Harry, you don't have to tell me, okay? It's okay, we don't really know each other"  
"No, I...", he mumbled softly against her cleavage. Sounds strange, it looked strange too, but Sheina wasn't itching now.  
"Should I get Louis?"  
He winced and shook his head quickly.  
"Yes. I don't want you to tell me just because you want to tell someone. Or rather... because Harry, you have to talk to someone about it. With someone who knows you longer than me and understands you in your situation... and well I think that someone should also accept your problem and somehow understand it. And seriously, Louis would accept anything you do, Harry"  
He chuckled and Sheina laughed lightly as he sat up. She looked at him. Oh boy, what an emotional night it was. Who hadn't cried today? Her phone rang and she looked at it.  
Harry stiffened as they both read the caller's name.  
"Ashlyn...", she said, chewing her lip uncertainly.  
"I-I can't-"  
"Hey, it's all right", she said reassuringly, placing a hand on his shoulder.  
"I go inside, send Louis to you and then I talk to her, okay?"  
He hesitated, but then nodded.  
With that she got up and he rubbed his palms together, already seemed to be in his thoughts. He even seemed nervous at the same time as he let out the held air.  
Sheina smiled.  
"It will work out"  
He looked up at her and grinned, even showing his dimple again.  
"Like everything today, huh?"  
She laughed and made her way into the house.  
She couldn't shake the feeling that Harry might not didn't completely cared about Louis like she had thought and portrayed it all the time. At least he seemed to trust him more than anyone else who described himself as his 'friends'.  
And it was precisely the one to whom he could tell everything because he would never tell anything else that he treated the worst?

Sheina didn't understand Harry.

And maybe Harry didn't understand himself either.

***

"Sheina! Why didn't you answer your phone? And where's Harry? I'm looking for him all the time", a desperate Ashlyn came to her and she immediately became sadder.  
"Hey, I know. For Harry, there is a lot to clear up today and it was a terrible idea of me to get you here. Ashlyn, I'm so sorry", she said understandingly and Ashlyn said nothing, hurt. What did Sheina think about calling Ashlyn? Did she really think everything would be fine?  
"How about we go? Let's get out of here, everything is shit and full of dodges here anyway"  
Ashlyn laughed lightly and nodded.  
"Why don't you go outside and order a taxi? I'll be right there; I have to go to the bathroom first"  
She hesitated, but then nodded.  
"You sleep at mine's okay? And we can stay awake and cry all night "  
Sheina's friend smiled slightly at her and nodded.  
"Thanks"  
"No problem"

With that she went outside and Sheina went upstairs before stopping in front of Louis' door. Taking a deep breath and breathing in, she prepared to talk to him.

Let's see what condition he is in...

But she was sure it was right to send Louis to Harry. She had to try to stay out of it. At least as far as Harry's problem was concerned.

***

She quietly opened the door, which she closed after entering the room.  
"Louis? What are you doing there?"  
Louis, who was standing next to his bed with a pillow in his hand, looked at her.  
"What is? I was just arguing with Lottie, so if you want to yell at me, you can go straight back outside", he sniffed once, didn't sound very pleased to see the brown-haired girl.  
"My birthday can't get any worse"  
And with that he threw the pillow on the bed.  
"Why did you argue?", she asked calmly and came closer to him.  
"She said I should re-cover my bed because Liam was in here earlier"  
She nodded, grimacing.  
"If that's true, then you should, yes. Disgusting of Liam to do this"  
Louis was silent for a moment, staring at the large bed.  
"But I couldn't explain to her why I don't want to"  
"Why don't you want that?"  
Louis looked at the bed.  
"Because it smells like him"  
Sheina said nothing.  
"Like Harry?"  
He nodded slightly and she sighed.  
"Lottie thought I was now into Liam, too and is angry that I didn't talk to her and that out of selfishness kept her from doing more with Harry. But what should I tell her? She doesn't know the whole story"  
Sheina said nothing, but then nodded. God, she felt so sorry for the boy.  
"Yes, I understand"  
Then she sat on the bed.  
"Louis, Harry needs you"  
"So that's why you're here? Because he wants sex? Are you serious? Why, couldn't you satisfy him?"  
"Louis!"  
"What?!"  
"Don't be so childish... and ridiculous, why should I...", she sighed, "I mean he needs to talk. And I know you're the right one for it. He wants to talk to you about his problem, Louis"  
Louis was silent for a while.  
"He wants... he wants to talk with me?"  
The girl nodded and he sat next to her, staring at the wall.  
"Wow"  
A smile came from Sheina.  
"Talking, Louis. I didn't say he wanted to marry you"  
Louis had to grin and she poked him lightly on the shoulder.  
"Come on"  
Louis got up resolutely and nodded, running his hands over his eyes.  
"It's best I bring you to him quickly"  
"Okay wait"  
And with that he ran to the bathroom. Sheina laughed because she saw him fixing his hair in the mirror and applying perfume again.  
"Harry wants to talk and you're dressing up first?"  
He looked at her insulted.  
"It may be the first time that Harry looks more finished than I do, yes?!"  
Sheina sighed and stood up. She knew he just said that, in reality he just wanted to impress Harry and look good for him.  
"You look cute, Louis. And now come on"  
Louis took a deep breath and exhaled before following her. He would never put his appearance in front of Harry. But he had wanted to waste time to calm down and not to fall over immediately. With nervousness. And joy. Excitement. Everything. Hello, it was Harry!

"Where is he? Just tell me where he is, you don't have to bring me. I am a 16 year old boy "  
"Yeah, but not that we kind of run into Ashlyn or anything, you know?"  
Louis stopped immediately.

Shit

"W-Who?"  
"Louis"  
"Where's this Ashlyn?! I want to see her!"  
And with that he stormed away. Annoyed she groaned and pulled him to the front door.  
"That is unnecessary"  
But when Louis saw a girl on the street talking to Liam and also saw Sheina's eyes on the two, he stormed in their direction.  
She immediately turned Louis to her so that he stopped.  
"Now listen to me! Harry just cried and has to tell someone about his problem! I told him to send you to him because you will understand him and he? He didn't laugh at you or anything! He didn't mean that he wanted to tell me, but agreed that he wanted to talk to you!"  
Louis stared at her and swallowed.  
"He was about to use any drugs, okay?! There, you can give them to him bacl, if you don't care"  
And with that she pressed the small bag into his hand.  
Louis looked at her in shock.  
"He has... he has what?!"  
"I could stop him", Sheina sighed.  
"So, pull yourself together and repress your jealousy and anger and go to him!"  
"I'm sorry..."  
The brunette sighed and took his wrist to pull him lightly onto the street.

From far away they saw Harry staring at the view. He looked so dead. As if he had noticed their presence, he looked to the right and Sheina smiled slightly at him, which he didn't seem to notice. He just stared at Louis, who was staring at him.  
"I'm gonna go, then. Please tell Harry to give you my number... if you want that"  
With that she let go of him. When he was still there, she nudged him slightly.  
"Go on", she smiled encouragingly and he nodded slightly before slowly walking over to Harry.  
Sheina, however, went back towards the car.  
When she turned around, however, she saw Louis standing in front of Harry at the bank. The girl stopped when Harry took Louis's hands and looked up at him. She smiled, knowing that this was the first time Louis was superior and taller than Harry. With a clear conscience she went on to Ashlyn, who was now alone and was greeting the taxi driver.  
"We can go", she said, and the two got in. They drove away from the house. Sheina looked in the rear-view mirror in silence. The house was so beautiful, and yet it had been something of a horror house for many tonight.

***

"Harry?", Louis asked quietly, standing nervously in front of him. Harry noticed the nervousness of the little one by his hands, which played nervously with each other, and took them in his big ones. Louis' heart beat instantly and he blushed. Harry looked up at him and smiled slightly when he realized that. There was something in his eyes that Louis had never seen before.  
"Louis"  
His voice was hoarse, he had been crying. Sheina was right.  
"Y-yes?", Louis stammered, returning his gaze, looking into those green eyes that so many girls had fallen in love with. Well, not just girls.  
"I am... sorry"  
Louis looked at him in surprise. And then he saw what was in Harry's eyes. Grief and regret. Honesty.  
"You-"  
"No, don't say anything. I don't want to hear anything that I can't help it. I can do something for it. It's just..."  
Louis released his hands from Harrys to sit next to him. He gave him the time he needed. Louis would sit here for him all night. The main thing was he was with him.  
"Stop looking at me like that", Harry said after a while, and he looked at him questioningly.  
"As if I was the most valuable thing in the world", he said quietly, looking away with a sad laugh.  
Louis blushed.  
"Well Harry, for me you are", he said softly, looking at his hands.  
"I don't deserve this", Harry said after a while before looking at the younger one.  
"I am disgusting. I don't deserve anyone who looks at me like you do"  
"You're not disgusting!", Louis said, startled, and reached for his forearm. Louis was sure that Harry had never said that before.  
"Why do you think that?! You're wonderful!"  
"Louis, you don't understand-"  
"Then explain to me, damn it!"  
Surprised by his request, Harry looked at him.  
"You say all the time that I don't understand you, but how do you want to know that?", he crossed his arms over his chest and Harry sighed, but had to smile slightly. His smile fell as he continued to look at Louis and he loosened his arms, looked at the taller questioningly.  
"Kiss me"  
Louis blinked in confusion. Did he just understand him correctly?  
"What?"  
Harry put a hand on Louis' tailbone to pull him closer.  
"Kiss me", he repeated, already leaning over to him, leaving just a few inches between their lips.  
"Harry...", the smaller one said confused and looked at his full lips. Of course, he wanted to kiss him... but he wanted to help Harry. Wanted to listen to him and talk about his problem. He counted more than Louis' wishes.  
"I-I want to help you, Haz"  
"Then kiss me", he growled, and his lips were already on Louis's. With a sigh, he couldn't prevent his eyes from closing and returning the kiss. Harry's lips were like a drug for him. Harry was just incredibly good in kissing.  
Louis' hands found his hair.  
His incredibly soft beautiful hair.  
He tugged on them lightly, causing Harry to gasp. He leaned further towards him, pushing Louis onto the bench with his back so that he was lying and Harry was above him. Their lips never left each other's.  
However, when Harry's lips went to his neck to continue, Louis opened his eyes.  
"Harry", he said, which was only a whisper because Harry had given him a hickey. He closed his eyes and sighed. Damn, he loved him so much.  
"Fuck, Louis, what are you doing to me", Harry moaned in his ear, giving him goosebumps. Although he was as turned on as Harry, he forced himself to pull himself together. He tried to push the taller one away, but continued to kiss his neck, drove even lower so that he had reached Louis' collarbone.  
"Harry... stop"  
"Why", he growled and continued kissing, running his hands down his back to his butt and Louis moaned as he squeezed the flesh.  
"This... this is not the right time", he said, and had to concentrate incredibly.  
"Don't sound very convinced", he mumbled against his skin.  
"I-I want to talk to you, Haz", Louis noted despair.  
"Afterwards"  
"What, do you want to have sex on the bench?"  
"Why not, it's adventurous"  
"Harry!"  
He pushed him completely away from him. Harry looked at him confused and gosh, he looked like God personally. Overwhelmed, Louis ruffled his own hair.  
"You... you wanted to talk to me about your problem and not mess around with me here on any bench... o-or have sex"  
Harry sighed and looked over the smaller boy's body.  
"But the second option is easier for me", he said, before stormingly putting his lips on the other one's again. The latter tried to push him away, but Harry was stronger.  
"Louis, you want it, too", he said against his lips, but Louis, with all his strength, mentally and physically, managed to push him away, then got up straight away.  
"Of course, I want to, but I can't! Stop it!"  
Harry looked up at him.  
"You... first Sheina fetches me and says that you need me. That you need me to talk, to support. That you need someone by your side and that I should be this person. Then you sit here completely exhausted and still say that you are 'crazy' and 'don't deserve' and then you suddenly want to have sex with me?! On a fucking bench?! I know you can have sex almost anywhere, but that's too much!"  
Harry was silent and Louis realized that he couldn't even cry himself. He had cried too much today. Because of Harry. Harry kept silent and swallowed hard, because Louis' words were repeated in his head.

'I know you can have sex almost anywhere'

That sentence brought Harry back to reality. Which he hated and suppressed by simply doing what he wanted without paying attention to others or worrying about the consequences; by pretending to be someone he wasn't.

He wasn't that someone; he only would love to be that someone.

"I'm trying to help you here, Harry", Louis went on. And he would say something that was incredibly strong of him. Because he was emotionally exhausted.  
"As I have always tried! But you don't take me seriously and honestly... then... then please leave me alone... t-that would hurt me less than this. For talking I'm too dumb. But I am enough to fuck on the bench. At some point even I can't do it anymore, okay?! I've had enough of it", he said and he was sure he would have cried if he hadn't done so much today. His own words hurt him a lot.

"Louis, wait!", Harry jumped up and held him when he really gathered all of his remaining strength and wanted to leave. He turned Louis around and hugged him. If you could call that hugging, he really clutched Louis. The smaller heard a sob and made big eyes, but saw only Harry's chest, against which he was pressed firmly.

"I'm addicted to sex, Louis...", Harry said softly, but Louis had heard him.

And all of a sudden everything made sense.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I seriously dunno why I love drama so much, but... I don't care so...
> 
> Boom, secret is out. Shoutout to all the girls and boys that think that Harry will be nice and sweet from now. 
> 
> ! If you have questions/remarks, don’t be scared to comment  
> I’m happy about every Kudos and comment <3  
> All the love xx  
> @runningwatermelon  
> (Twitter & Instagram: larrymelon28; Wattpad: runningwatermelon)


	16. ||14||

For a moment Louis didn't respond, just stood there. He didn't know what to say. What should you say in such a moment?  
"Harry, I...", he stammered, because he had to digest this new information first. Harry himself sighed and pressed his face into Louis' neck. He was trembling; it had taken effort to say it. Then he collected his thoughts and started speaking again.  
"I always had in mind how I can make myself happy and never noticed what I was doing to others... especially to you. I swallowed my feelings of guilt and at some point, I didn't notice them anymore because I was so used to it"  
With wide eyes, Louis was still staring at the larger boy's chest. It suddenly made sense. How they got together, how Harry had behaved in the relationship, because well... he had always gotten straight to the point. And as Louis said earlier... Harry could have sex anywhere. If they had met, or if he couldn't sleep and had come to Louis... he couldn't have done otherwise?  
How he had cheated... maybe even had to. Then how he had dealt with Louis the past few months... how could Louis have been so stupid?! Just tonight. How could he not have noticed that it was no longer healthy; how Harry really had an addiction to it?

"How come you notice it now?", he could finally say something.  
"Sheina"  
That name alone. Louis tensed a little and Harry laughed briefly in the crook of his neck.  
"Oh, come on Louis, I'm just telling you my problems and you can't get your jealousy under control"  
"Let me", the other snorted, pushing him lightly to look at him.  
"What did Sheina do?"  
Harry was silent for a moment and was amazed that Louis didn't describe him as disgusting. Because it was disgusting. Sheina had been right, no one accepted him as much as Louis. He could have said to Louis that he was a serial killer and Louis would accept him like that. In the current situation, Harry didn't notice that this couldn't be healthy for Louis.

"She yelled at me, insulted me. I don't know, she reacted the way I apparently needed it. She didn't dance silently after my pipe and blindly accepted my mistakes, like others and myself. She opened my eyes and well I realized that I... really have a problem "  
Louis swallowed and looked at his hands on Harry's chest. Why hadn't he yelled at him? Louis could have helped him, too. And then there came some Sheina girl, bitched around and totally exaggerated the situation.

And that helped?! Great.

But he was right, Louis had never really resisted, but obeyed him blindly and accepted everything he had done. However, he had just told him something he hadn't told anyone else, right?  
"Have you ever told anyone that?", he asked quietly, looking up at him. He sighed.  
"My father"  
Then he chuckled.  
"At the time I thought that a conversation from father to son would be good for me, but my father only said that it was normal at my age and that it was a great thing to enjoy life in this way... I mean I have noticed it at the end of 16 and entrusted it to him, even though my parents were already divorced and I really didn't want to have anything to do with him anymore"  
Louis frowned.  
"What an asshole. That's not a way to deal with it. You can see what came out of it"  
Harry nodded and looked away.  
"My father is..."  
"Shit?"  
Harry laughed a little, but nodded.  
"Yes, I mean he said to me that we shouldn't worry as long as I don't..."  
He fell silent and Louis looked at him questioningly, showing him to continue talking.  
"Sleep with... boys"  
Louis' look changed.  
"Wow, how tolerant"  
"My father? Always"  
"Harry, you... you need help, you know? Otherwise you will never be able to stay with someone and be happy... or continue to hurt people "  
He was silent.  
"May be"  
"Nanana, nothing like that", he said, placing his hands on Harry's cheeks.  
"You deserve to be happy, you know? And I forgive you. Everything that happened. Today, a year ago, everything. Basically, you were right, you're not the one to blame"  
"I am guilty-"  
"Where's the Harry who just agrees when it says he's innocent?"  
He laughed and then sighed before resting his chin on Louis' shoulder. The latter knew that Harry didn't know what to say. He couldn't talk well about such serious issues. Louis had to smile. And yet he had done it today.

With me

"I'm proud of you for telling someone. And moreover me", he said and pinched the other's rather absent belly, which made him laugh.  
"Don't treat me like a child. After all that's you"  
"Pardon? The 'child' has just helped and forgiven you! So, when I'm not an adult!"  
Harry threw his head back and laughed. He looked so carefree. As if everything was fine for a moment. As if they were together, just like before... only in happy. Because there was no longer a secret between them. Well, except one from Louis, but that didn't matter.  
Then they sat down on the bench and talked. Not about his problem; Louis knew that Harry had to come down first. After all, it had been so exhausting to talk about it somehow and to say it at all.

No, it was time to enjoy at least a little more that night. It was almost as if the two were friends.

***

"Aren't you cold, too?", Harry asked at some point, since he was only wearing his white shirt, of which the top buttons he had opened. Louis looked down at himself on his sweater. Or at Harry's former sweater.  
"No, I...", he stammered, automatically pulling the sleeve of his left arm down again.  
"It's okay"  
Harry frowned and Louis quickly changed the subject. Fortunately, Harry agreed. Maybe he just didn't care; it was only Louis at all.

"I don't know", Harry replied when asked what he was going to do about Ashlyn.  
"Maybe Sheina calmed her down and I can talk to her"  
"D-do you want... so do you want to be with her again?"  
He sighed.  
"Well, that's how we are still"  
Louis swallowed and his stomach tightened on the subject.  
"But I think the best thing is... if I get help and then I don't have a relationship first"  
The smaller one frowned.  
"You know, I don't know if that's positive or negative. Maybe it's good to have a relationship during therapy"  
He shrugged before turning to Louis. He took his hands back in his and Louis looked at him with wide eyes. He was so distracted that he realized too late that Harry was quickly rolling up his left sleeve.

Louis immediately tried to pull his arm away, but Harry's grip on his wrist stopped him.  
"Louis, what the hell", Harry stared at the many cuts. Some deeper and longer, some less deep and short. Some were scars, some were in the process of turning from crusty skin to scars, and some were so fresh that it couldn't have been long ago that they had arisen.  
Harry just stared at it, couldn't say anything. He knew, of course, that people did somethings like this to themselves, sometimes they did worse. But he had never seen it like this. He never thought that he would know someone who did this. But he never considered what others felt anyway. But Harry felt a sting in his chest. He had never thought Louis could do that. But... how had he never seen it?  
"Why didn't I ever see that?", he asked, actually not wanting his voice to come across so harshly. But he couldn't help getting angry with Louis either. What was this shit?!  
Louis could finally free his arm and immediately pulled the sleeve back down.  
"Make-Up"  
Harry stared at him in disbelief. And he did exactly what he never wanted to experience for himself. The reason he hadn't told anyone about his problem was that he didn't want to be considered sick and that nobody would understand. Louis had reacted the way Harry had needed. But Harry looked at Louis as if Louis was sick and not normal. He showed no understanding. And he didn't even notice that.  
"As if. How much Make-Up do you have to put on there so-"  
"It takes me much longer to get ready in summer than in winter. Simply because of the airier clothes. But I almost always wear a thin jacket over it"  
Harry was too stunned to say something, but Louis kept talking.  
"Over time I learned how to cover that, Harry. Apparently good, because you never noticed, even if you saw me naked. But you were concentrating on something else then"  
He hadn't wanted it to sound like an accusation, but it was somehow. If anyone could have seen it, Harry. But this had never been fixated on such small things.  
It wasn't just his fault; it was certainly related to his addiction.  
"Then why didn't you cover it now?", Harry asked, doing what he never wanted others to do. Questioning, getting an answer, questioning and so on. Until they squeezed everything out of one and didn't know what to say. But Harry was probably not as understanding as Louis.  
"I had. But before, where I was in the bathroom-"  
"Don't say you got there and...", Harry stopped speaking when he already knew the answer based on Louis' expression.  
"Why are you doing this shit?!"  
Louis stayed calm.  
"Are you serious? I can ask you that, too  
"For me it's an addiction, Louis! I don't notice what I'm doing when I want to relieve it"  
"And I do it when the pressure inside me is so big that I have to release it somehow. And before I do worse things, I do this. I don't hurt anyone with it"  
"In what moments?", asked Harry, not getting his tone more lovingly for god sake.  
Louis said nothing and Harry kept talking.  
"I mean... there are so many cuts and I bet not all of them even became scars", Harry continued, pushing his sleeve back up to see it again. This time, Louis didn't resist.  
"Many do you say?", he asked quietly and Harry snorted.  
"Look at that. How many are that? Counting stopped at 100?", he exaggerated.  
"Most of the time I did something like that when you were in bed with someone else, or when I was desperate because of how you treated me", Louis said without emotion and Harry looked back at his face in shock. That... that couldn't be. Impossible. It certainly hadn't been that often!  
"And that only after we broke up. That means the whole time you cheated on me are not on my skin. And I mean I don't always know when you're in bed with someone, so there should actually be more"  
Harry said nothing.  
"Are you crazy?", he said then and threw Louis's arm on his lap. And Louis said nothing about it. It was clear to him that Harry acted in such a way that he himself wasn't the freak. Because Harry was again faced with the truth: he had slept with so many people, mostly just out of selfishness. Had hurt feelings and acted as he wanted. And now he called Louis sick. Harry really had zero confidence when it came to himself. He was confident when he was in his role, liked by everyone and nice to everyone. But he hated his real self. He didn't accept himself.  
"It's my business", Louis said briefly, pushing his sleeve back down.  
Harry pointed to him.  
"If I have to go to therapy, you have to, too"  
Louis said nothing.  
"I'll think about it", he said, only to calm him down and Harry rolled his eyes.  
"It's not that easy for me, Harry. My parents would find out, I'm a minor"  
Harry had to grin.  
"That's right"

Mood swings as always?

But Louis agreed to it.  
"Stupid. Just because I'm not an old grandpa"  
And although Harry had been incomprehensible, hadn't dealt with it as Louis should have needed, Louis was happy. Because that's how Harry was and he didn't want more than that. That it would have been healthier if Harry had reacted like most people; namely talk to him about what you could do about it and some solutions, he ignored. Because he had finally told the truth, that Louis was sick. And he didn't make a drama out of it, didn't cry. Louis loved it. Although he shouldn't love it.

But it was Harry.

***

Louis giggled and looked around the corner, still holding Harry's hand as he had just pulled the taller one toward the wall. It had started to rain, which is why all the guests were inside the house.  
"That's so ridiculous", Harry hissed for the third time, but still did nothing against Louis' stupid idea of sneaking into his room and staying there unnoticed.  
"Come on", Louis whispered and crept off when he saw in the window that everyone was distracted. He pulled Harry along, who also had to laugh a little. Now they had arrived at the pool and only had to pass the large French doors that led to it. That would be difficult because they were on the presentation plate. Louis peeked carefully through one of the windows.  
"I'm completely wet", Harry muttered and Louis ignored him, trying to find a moment when nobody was looking. When he thought the air was clear, he pulled Harry behind him, who was just about to shake his feet because his shoes weren't waterproof. Therefore, he stumbled and ran against Louis, who was immediately pushed away by the stronger and then staggered, almost falling into the pool. Harry had grabbed his wrist in time and quickly pulled him to the wall by the windows. How could it be that the action went unnoticed by the people inside?  
Harry and Louis had to laugh immediately and then Harry looked up, hands on hips.  
"And how do we get up there now?"  
"I often climb up or down there when I go somewhere unnoticed or come back at night. Well, when my parents are home for once", Louis answered, then started to climb up one of the many tendrils that jutted over the wall and down from Louis' balcony. Harry raised both eyebrows in surprise. And may also admire the view that now offered him as Louis skilfully climbed on. He climbed onto the balcony, of which the window was still open.  
"Just do it", he said from above.  
"You talk well, you're still young and motivated", Harry said, grinning when he saw Louis' reaction, which consisted of an annoyed look down.  
He sighed. Nothing helped, the rain pounded down on him mercilessly and he finally wanted to get warm. What had he gotten himself into here?  
So, he clung to the same tendril and climbed less lasciviously. Louis watched him do it and sighed. Harry's white shirt stuck to his body through the rain and he could see Harry's arm muscles working from above. He climbed uncoordinated, but only because he had to concentrate on which tendrils he should hang on to next. In terms of strength, he held up better than Louis. When Harry reached the top, Louis reached out and Harry accepted it.  
"Gosh. Now I know how you're not a little dumpling yet", Harry said, ran his hand through his wet hair. Louis tried not to stare too obviously. Harry looked so gorgeous on one side with the wet hair and the drops of water running down his gorgeous face with the sparkling eyes. And on the other hand, he looked so hot in the soaked clothes that stuck to his skin and accentuated every muscle in his arms. And then his shirt was white too, so it became see-through and his tattoos shimmered through. Meanwhile, Louis sure looked like a wet poodle.  
"Enough drooling", Harry said, pulling Louis into the room, then quickly closing the balcony door.  
"Great, I thought it was warm here", he said, rubbing his upper arms. Because the window was open most of the evening, it was almost the same temperature as outside. He was cold as shit with his wet clothes. Then Louis hugged him from behind.  
"Then we turn on the heating and take a warm shower while the room gets warm"  
Harry raised an eyebrow and looked behind him.  
"Since when have we been doing what you command?"  
Louis saw that he didn't mean it badly and made big, innocent eyes.  
"How about we turn on the heater and take a shower while the room gets warm. Can we do that, Daddy?"  
Harry looked briefly back into his blue eyes.  
"Off with you", he said firmly and Louis giggled contentedly before strutting to the bathroom.

***

Louis opened his eyes. The first thing he saw was Harry. Or his neck, because they were facing each other, Harry was little spoon as usual and had pressed his face into Louis' neck. Louis was a little confused at first, why did Harry do that when he was awake?  
"Morning", he said happily, but got no answer. At first Louis got scared and looked quickly into Harry's face. But what he saw warmed his heart. Harry was still asleep. Louis looked at him in love, had never seen Harry sleep in ages. He looked so beautiful, how did he do it?

Why did Harry sleep longer than Louis? Maybe it was something psychic; that Harry could sleep in peace because he had done a little something right in his pitiful life one evening. Who knows. In any case, Harry hadn't slept as well in a long time as that night.

Louis had no intention of waking him up and snuggled even closer to the taller little spoon and sighed contentedly. He wondered what time it was and whether the cleaning staff that Lottie had ordered had already arrived.

When Harry was still not awake and Louis was getting thirsty, he slowly pulled away from Harry and crept out of bed. It turned out that the cleaning staff had already been there, because everything was clean and tidy. And it smelled heavenly of cleaning agent and not of vomit and spilled alcohol. Louis made tea in the kitchen. While the water was boiling, he thought about yesterday. He knew that sleeping with Harry again yesterday had been a stupid idea. But how could he have resisted him? In addition, Louis would annoy Harry until he went to therapy.

My poor Haz, he thought, and pouted.  
He doesn't deserve that!

Then a thought occurred to him: What would Harry have been like if he hadn't had this addiction? Surely, he would still be the diva he was because of the upbringing he had enjoyed. But in terms of other people... he would have been more like he really was.

Louis went back to his room with the cup of tea, glad he hadn't run into Lottie. He didn't feel like talking to her. He just wanted to snuggle up to Harry in bed with his tea. Fortunately, the thought of Lottie reminded Louis that he had to lock the door again. He did this and put his cup on the bedside table. Harry was still sleeping and Louis smiled in love. Harry was just a god. The blanket had slipped so that he could see Harry's bare chest with the many tattoos. Louis sighed again, wanted to lie down again, but then saw his purple sweater. He quickly grabbed the garment and Harry's clothes and then left the room. He dashed into the laundry room and threw everything in the washing machine. He didn't know what he was doing, but he threw in some detergent and hit the on button. He frowned at all the buttons and possible actions.

Anyway, it will go wrong, he thought, and left everything as it is. So he just hit start and when the machine buzzed he got up satisfied. Harry would be happy to see freshly washed clothes. Because of all the smoke that had been created by the smokers at the party and sticky chairs and ultimately the rain, the clothes were no longer as new. Maybe Louis would get Harry to put on the purple sweater so that he would smell of him again.

***

Harry opened his eyes, then closed them again. He sighed sleepily, but still recovered. He had slept well. Very. He also had no headache, as it was often the case. He snuggled closer to the soft, warm something on which his face was lying. Then he opened his eyes completely. He frowned when he looked directly at Louis' chest as it was sitting and Harry's head was on his stomach. That must have been the soft, comfortable something. He couldn't help it and pressed his face into his belly more because it was too comfortable, which is why the smaller one had to laugh. Harry looked up, startled, and saw that Louis was awake. Shit, he thought Louis was sleeping as usual; otherwise he would never have done that! And why was he lying like that? He had never woken up like this. And why was Louis awake? Completely overwhelmed, Harry sat up and Louis immediately grabbed his hand.  
"Hey", he said calmly and he looked at him.  
"It's okay Harry", he smiled reassuringly and Harry relaxed a little. What was going on with the world right now?  
"Why are you awake?"  
Louis giggled.  
"I don't know. Birthday miracle"  
Harry smiled and put his head back on Louis' stomach.  
"Happy birthday again, little one"  
"Thank you", said Louis distractedly, going through Harry's soft hair with his hands.  
He loved Harry's voice, but his morning voice was just something else.  
"How are you?"  
"Mhm", Harry hummed, enjoying the scratching of Louis. He was in a good mood; a lot. He was so relaxed and well rested. As if his body had taken a week off.  
"Quite well. I slept very well", he said, although he hadn't wanted to say that at all. Louis couldn't stop smiling, because Harry was just so calm and relaxed.  
"I'm glad"  
Harry sat up with a groan and Louis thought he was going. But he just laid down again, looked at the ceiling. Louis laid down next to him, his face to the taller one.  
"Harry?"  
The latter didn't answer, so he kept talking.  
"Are you making an appointment with a therapist? We... we can also choose one together. You don't have to do it alone"  
Harry sighed and Louis was afraid he would be annoyed now and say he shouldn't interfere. But he looked at Louis.  
"No, I can find someone "  
Louis nodded slightly, slightly hurt and disappointed that Harry didn't accept his help. But he had to accept that, it was still Harry's business.  
"But I want you to come with me then"  
Louis was silent, not sure if he had heard right. He should please what?  
"W-what?", he asked, and Harry rolled his eyes.  
"I bet I'll pinch otherwise. I need someone to kick my ass and drag me there if he has to", he said, biting his lip and looking at the ceiling; couldn't look at Louis. It took a lot of effort to ask. It showed weakness. Much more weakness than he had shown before Louis. This smiled incredulously, nestled against Harry. Well, he didn't want to trigger that now.  
"Of course, I'm going, Haz. Anything you want. I'm proud of you"  
Louis' words were annoying him a little. He wasn't a little kid! Nevertheless, he left it at that and the two remained silent, still lingering on their thoughts.  
Then Louis remembered the words Sheina had said to him yesterday.  
"Harry? Do you have Sheina's number?"  
Harry frowned and looked at his parting, since Louis's head was still on his chest.  
"Why?"  
"She said to me yesterday, if I want you should give me her number"  
Harry sighed and nodded.  
"Yeah, wait", he said, reaching for his phone. He got tons of messages and reports that he had missed calls. Of course, he'd just left yesterday and nobody knew he'd been in Louis's room. He sent Louis Sheina's contact and put it away immediately. He didn't feel like these people.  
Meanwhile, Louis saved Sheina on his phone and texted her.

Louis: Hohooo Sheina, this is Loueeh

Harry stalked on his screen and laughed. Louis looked at him and grinned, threw the phone aside and snuggled closer to the elderly.  
"Louis?", Harry asked as Louis happily spread many little kisses on his chest.  
"Hm?", he asked, smiling at him.  
"Woe you tell anyone about it", Harry growled. He could have just asked if Louis could promise, but that's how he was. Louis' smile faded from Harry's threatening tone.  
"Harry, why should I?!", he sat up in shock and Harry rolled his eyes. As if it were not normal to make sure that nobody would know.  
Louis is dead if he talks something out, he thought annoyed.  
"I would never betray you like that", he said, sitting on Harry's hip.  
"You already have", Harry growled and Louis looked at him hurt.  
"I had to do that with Whitney. And even then, I protected you and just said it was once. I didn't  
tell anyone else about us, not even the current situation"  
"And what was that with Sheina on the balcony?"  
"But you said everything was fine because of that", Louis said, noticing how the well-known  
despair filled his body.  
"Just watch what you say", Harry hissed and Louis sighed, looking at Harry's chest, which he stroked up and down. He nodded in the meantime, let it slide.  
"I love you", he said, distracted from drawing a heart on Harry's chest with his fingers. Harry didn't answer, because what should he say?  
Louis looked up at him and looked at him questioningly. Harry thought he was going to ask if he loved Louis too and was getting annoyed.  
"You know that, don't you?", was his question and although Harry was relieved that it was this stupid question, he rolled his eyes. Why did Louis want to know that all the time?  
But Louis waited patiently for the answer. Harry was about to answer that he knew.  
"I'm not sure", he said without thinking about it. Louis frowned and leaned forward to kiss him.  
"I really am in love with you, Haz", he said sadly, before placing his lips on the older boy's soft ones.  
He immediately felt Harry's hands on his butt and instantly blanked everything out, shut off his mind immediately. But when he felt Harry smirking, he frowned. Harry started to press Louis' hip against his and Louis had to pull himself together to pull away from Harry.  
"Are you serious?!", he said indignantly and Harry looked at him questioningly, but the next moment looked back at Louis' body and licked his lips. Louis immediately wanted to sit on the bed, but Harry got there beforehand by sitting up, holding onto Louis and kissing his neck. This elicited a sigh from Louis as he tried not to fall for it.  
"Let me go", he managed to say, but Harry was not deterred.  
"Harry", Louis said angrier now, pushing Harry back onto the mattress with all his strengh. He was breathing heavily because it strained him not to become weak under Harry's touch.  
Harry looked at him lustfully and bit his lower lip. For a moment, Louis' eyes darted there and Harry recognized this sign of weakness and rolled over so that Louis was lying on the mattress and he was between his legs.  
"Stop", Louis said, but Harry went on anyway and kissed from his collarbone to his ear.  
"Come on Lou, you want it, too. Show Daddy how much you love him"  
Louis moaned at the words, and when Harry started to nibble on his ear, he just threw his hands behind his neck and narrowed his eyes out of habit. He was just torn back and forth. Because he loved Harry and wanted to make him happy and do what he wanted. But on the other hand, he hadn't wanted sex and he also knew that he wasn't allowed to, but because of Harry he couldn't help it. But it was his job to stop him, because he knew it was Harry's problem. Harry meanwhile smirked and put Louis' legs around his own waist. Louis was so weak when it came to him; he always got what he wanted from him anyway.

Then Louis' phone made a sound and the smaller one opened his eyes. At the sound, he thought of Sheina, then yesterday evening, and then what was happening. Or what should not happen.  
"Harry!", he said, trying to push the stronger one away. But Harry didn't let himself be pushed away. But Louis got help. And he would rather have had no help there. Because Harry was interrupted.

The doorknob was pushed down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed <3
> 
> ! If you have questions/remarks, don’t be scared to comment  
> I’m happy about every Kudos and comment <3  
> All the love xx  
> @runningwatermelon  
> (Twitter & Instagram: larrymelon28; Wattpad: runningwatermelon)


	17. ||15||

"Louis? Since when do you lock the door?", they heard Lottie and immeadiately freezed. They looked at each other and Louis could finally push Harry away to stand up and put a shirt and sweatpants. Instantly Harry grabbed Louis' wirst to stop him from going to the door.   
"You will not answer", he hissed quietly and Louis looked at him in panic, when Lottie knocked again, asking "Louis? You still alive? Seriously just because you're 16 you don't have to act like a bitch. We have to talk about yesterday, so open up"  
"What should I else do?!", Louis whisper-yelled at Harry, who didn't answer, then made a decision.  
"Let me put clothes on and I'm-", he stopped.  
"Louis?! Where are my fucking clothes?!", he whisper-yelled and Louis' eyes widened.  
"Shit, I-"  
"Louis!", Lottie kicked the door. In panic Louis just pushed Harry into the bathroom and closed the door, took a deep breath, before he went to his door and opened it. There stood Lottie, phone in one hand holding it to her ear.  
"Sorry, Cammy. I'll call you right away. You called in a bad moment", she said, staring at Louis.

"What was that all about?", she asked after she hung up and just went inside Louis' room.  
"Why? I went to sleep yesterday and didn't want Liam to come inside with another girl", Louis said and panicked a little when Lottie walked in the direction of the bathroomdoor. She stopped and crossed her arms over her chest.  
"Liam again, huh?"  
Louis had to control himself to not roll his eyes.  
"Lottie. Can you just...", he sighed.  
"Can we talk about it later? I was asleep till you almost broke the door"  
Lottie rolled with her eyes.  
"Don't be a selfish bitch. I have to talk about everything with you. Now"  
Then her phone made a sound and the directly looked at it. The talk didn't seem to be that interesting now. Lottie sighed annoyed, picked it up.  
"Liam? What is it, I'm busy"  
Louis rolled his eyes. He still couldn't believe that Liam seriously gave Harry drugs. What the fuck.  
"I don't know where Harry is, do you really think I didn't notice that he doesn't answer my texts?"  
Louis pressed his lips together, looked away. Lottie watched him doing it and her eyes grew smaller as she eyed him suspicious.  
"He just disappeared at-", she stopped, when her eyes catched something on Louis' bedside table.  
"Liam. I have to go", she said and hang up. Then Louis watched her as she went to the opposite side of the bed than Louis. Shit.   
She grabbed the phone.   
"Louis", she simply said, then looked at him.  
"What the fuck is Harry's phone doing here?!"  
And then Louis thought everything was over.   
"What are you? A stalker? Did you think he wouldn't notice that his phone is missing since the party in our house? Oh god, he will think I was involved with this!", she was getting angry. And seriously. How blind could Lottie be? Did she really think Louis just stole Harry's phone, because he loved him? She really thought this was more realistic than that Harry had slept here in this bed with Louis. But okay, Louis would play along with it, if that meant that Harry was safe. But before he could say something, Lottie went on.  
"First I find out that you're into boys, then that you're into Harry, then that you fancy Liam and now that you're a crazy stalker?! What, do you also have some clothes of Harry in your closet you were till yesterday?"  
And then she walked to Louis' closet.  
"Stop it, Lottie!", Louis got louder and then the bathroom door opened. Wtf, what was wrong with Harry?!  
"Thank you again, Louis, I really appreciate-", Harry stopped and looked 'surprised' at Lottie.  
"Harry?! What in God's name is going on here?!"  
And then she realised that Harry was naked besides a towel around his waist. She stared at him for a moment longer and Louis would have been possessive, if he wouldn't be in this situation. (Or he would stare at him, too).  
"Lottie, I-"  
"Shut up! That was enough yesterday! And now that ?!", interrupted Lottie, who waked up from her stare, her brother.  
"Harry, what's going on here?!"  
"Lottie, please calm down, there is a explanation for this", Harry answered calm.  
"And what should that be? I mean what would be a good explanation for coming out of my little brother's bathroom after you just took a shower?! Who by the way has a crush on you"  
Harry sighed and ran a hand over his face.  
"A lot of things went wrong yesterday and I just wanted to go home. I know it would have been rude of me, but I couldn't help it. I did so many things wrong yesterday and made so much chaos, I wanted to leave. But I forgot my key and then I slept in the guest room. When I wanted to take a shower, the cleaning staff was there, so I asked Louis if-"  
"And of course Louis didn't want to miss a naked Harry in his bathroom, I get it. You didn't do something wrong, Harry. I'm sorry, you're a too pure and innocent soul", Lottie sighed and looked annoyed at Louis.  
"Are you serious?! I didn't do anything wrong!"  
"I could make you a whole list right here right now of things you did wrong!"  
"Lottie, please. There is nothing strange about it. But for all our sakes, I'd appreciate it if you kept this between us. There's been enough rumour and stress since yesterday"  
Lottie sighed and seemed to think about it, then got carried away because of Harry's naked body; her stare stopped at the towel.  
"If you drop the towel, maybe?"  
"Lottie!", Louis stamped his foot on the floor and she ignored him, looked at Harry with a small smirk. Harry didn't know how to react, just chuckled.  
"Lottie"  
Actually, he didn't think it was funny at all, but he had to be nice to her.  
"Okay. I'll think about it", she said and pursed her lips, then began to laugh.  
"Oh god, and I thought that Louis stole your phone. And when you just came out I thought you two seriously had something together and was disgusted if you got a bet that you want to deflower every Tomlinson"  
Louis' face changed and he just stared at her. She gave him a bitchy look, then looked back at Harry.  
"But I'm glad it's not like that, babe"  
Before Harry could say something, she received a call, still looking at the complete shocked Louis.  
"Gemma? Yes, sorry, I'm on my way, I got a bit... distracted"  
Then she hung up and sighed.  
"Gemma's waiting outside, I have to go. It would have been fun if I told her that her hot brother was inside my house, almost naked"  
Harry forced himself to laugh.  
"Have fun"  
She mustered him once more, before she smiled, then exited. Louis immediately followed her and stopped her on the stairs. Harry let him - Louis wouldn't go against him anyway.  
"Wh-When?", he could stutter.  
Lottie sighed annoyed but still as if she knew that Louis would follow her and would ask this.  
"Shortly after your 15th birthday"  
Louis' expression dropped.

No

Lottie saw it.  
"You seriously thought I wouldn't get my hand in his pants?"  
"I-I-", Louis could only stammer.  
"If I had known you liked Harry I would have told you so you wouldn't misinterpret everything Harry did for you. And you maybe wouldn't have fooled me the whole time. He is straight, Louis. Get over it"  
Then she freed her arm and went downstairs. Louis just stared at her back in disbelief. On the one hand because of the words Lottie had said to him, but mostly because Harry really had slept with his sister when they had been together. He had cheated on him with his older sister.  
"Please don't tell anyone!", he still called after her because of Harry. He had to think of Harry, not himself - because Harry was more important. Louis didn't really care if she was mad at him. Better on him than on Harry.  
"Maybe. And just to make one thing clear: I'm disappointed in you not in Harry"  
Then Lottie closed the door.

Immediately he went back in his room, where Harry was sitting on the bed, on his phone.  
"Comfortable, or does the gentleman need anything else?", Louis put his hand on his hip. Harry raised an eyebrow and looked at him.  
"What's going on now?"  
"Hello?! Lottie could tell everything! I thought it was so important that nobody knew about it?! I just had to convince her not to say anything!"  
"She won't say anything anyway", Harry said, unimpressed, looking back at his phone. Because yes, he didn't want anyone to know what he really was. But of all people after Louis, Lottie was the easiest. She was easy to manipulate and she listened to Harry anyway and would surely soon forget the incident. He was sure of that. Finally, she liked him more than her own brother.  
"She loves me too much"  
"She has a boyfriend"  
"And? She still wants something from me. Bet she's not even mad at me, but only at you?"  
It was amazing how Harry knew what was going on. Louis sighed and sat on the bed.  
"I'm sorry, I don't want to freak out like that, but... I never wanted her to know that I love you and now this and I find out that you both...", he sighed again.  
Harry said nothing and Louis remembered something.  
"Why did you do that?"  
Harry didn't look up from his phone.  
"What now?"  
"You cheated on me with my own sister"  
"Better than mine, isn't it?"  
"Harry. I'm serious"  
"And I wasn't serious. With none of these people. So come down, Louise"  
Louis said nothing. He just couldn't stay calm; the Lottie thing had shaken him too much. So he tried to change the subject. He sat on the edge of the bed. He knew that he would only make things worse by causing a drama now. Harry wouldn't apologize anyway.  
"Are you looking for a therapist?"  
Harry just nodded and Louis did the same before sighing and looking at his hands.  
"It doesn't matter which one I take anyway. I won't go there for more than two meetings", he heard Harry and immediately turned to the adult.  
"I beg your pardon?!"  
Harry rolled his eyes.  
"I was totally exaggerating yesterday; I have no idea what I was drinking there to freak out like that. I mean god, I cried like a little girl. And all the cheesy stuff, urgh"  
With the last sentence, he had probably confirmed that he was like a little child. But Louis was too shocked to joke about it.  
"Exaggerated? Rather understated!"  
"And you have any idea about it, becauuuse...?"  
"Uh, hello? After all, I'm a victim of your addiction"  
Harry raised an eyebrow and looked at him again.  
"Victim?"  
Louis rolled his eyes.  
"You know what I mean"  
Harry shrugged.  
"I'm not doing any harm"  
With that he looked at his phone again. It was really like Harry had mood swings. Or several personalities.  
"Yes, you do", Louis said, and Harry wanted to say something annoyed, but the smaller one talked again.  
"You just were about to take advantage of my love for you! You know that I love you, but you said the opposite, so I want to prove it to you. I didn't even want to have sex right now, but you let yourself go if you want or need it. Harry you're sick"  
Harry's eyes grew angry, but Louis immediately hugged him.  
"I don't mean that angry, Harry. I just want to help you. I mean sick not in an insulting sense, just health-wise... because this addiction is not normal. And you need help. Please"  
Harry groaned in annoyance.  
"You are so incredibly tedious!"  
Louis giggled and snuggled closer to him, rubbing his cheek across the older boy's chest.  
"You too, Haz. But I love you so much"  
"Really?"  
"Stop it", Louis pouted and Harry smirked before looking serious again.  
"I still want you"  
"No", Louis said somewhat sadly.  
"Not me... but sex in general"  
With that he sighed and sat up.  
"Oh come on", Harry said, grabbing his hips and spreading kisses from behind on his torso.  
"Harry, please. Leave it. And call a therapist now"  
"One of the words that don't turn me on", Harry grumbled and Louis had to laugh because it was kind of funny how Harry could get when he didn't get what he wanted. Which was even more extreme with the connection with his addiction. But it wasn't actually funny. People do terrible things when they can't satisfy their addiction. Because something terrible is going on in their bodies. The brain is such a fascinating organ. And yet it is capable of the worst.  
Louis didn't know exactly what was going on, he just knew that people develop terrible symptoms in withdrawal. Harry needed help as soon as possible, what else would become of him? The thought scared him. And maybe that was what Harry unfortunately needed: fear. So he turned to Harry, not enthusiastic about the idea he had.  
"Harry? If you won't get help... then where do you see yourself in the future? Because it will only get worse for sure. And I mean... at some point you are no longer young and looking like this and there are no naive girls or boys who fall for you. Do you want to mess around with 16 year olds when you're 40?"  
Harry was silent as he put on a slightly disturbed look.  
"The fuck, Louis? Imagine myself at 40, I'll look super hot"

Great, seems to work well. Not.

"Don't you know what I mean? You will go down"  
"And what about you? Without me you are nothing", Harry said annoyed. If Louis played like that he could do so, too. He didn't let this boy tell him something!

In 20 years I will definitely not be alive, Louis thought automatically.

"I don't know", he only said. He never thought about his future; he saw himself nowhere in the future.  
"Please let yourself help"  
"Yes, my god. I'm already calling", Harry said, dialing a number before leaving the room. Louis looked at the door from which his true love had disappeared. His head kept playing Harry's sentence. Because he was right. He was nothing without Harry. Maybe he would have another year or more with Harry, but then? If Harry would move away, because he wanted to study somewhere else? Bullshit, Louis would go after and see how he would do it.

Louis made plans. Plans where Harry could do anything to build a future while Louis just followed him to stay with him and somehow survive. He would miss his whole future, not live his life, but waste it. But who cares, he would go down at the latest if Harry and he were no longer in contact.

Then a thought occurred to Louis. Harry was only in touch and interested in him because of his addiction. So what if he was healed?  
Louis' chest pricked like it always did when he realized Harry wasn't his.  
And yet he was Harry's. He always would be.  
Yes, maybe Harry would be able to start a new life if he started a family with a man or woman, with or without children. He could be happy. He could grow old happily, thinking that his life was worth it when he sat with grey hair by the fireplace with his grandchildren.

And Louis? What would become of him then? He couldn't start over, his scars were too deep, his love for Harry. But Louis had never thought about what would happen over the years. No matter when, sooner or later Harry wouldn't do anything with him anymore. He didn't know what Louis would do then. He would have to see it then.

Wouldn't it be better if he didn't go to therapy?, Louis thought. Then he swallowed.  
No. Harry deserves to be happy. Harry could be so much happier now if he didn't have this addiction

No matter what would become of Louis, Harry should be happy and live happily ever after. Louis didn't care what would become of himself. Because he only saw himself for one reason in the world and that was to make Harry happy; to help him and to help him live a good life. That didn't mean that he would be part of this. Because Harry didn't need Louis to be happy. And Louis knew that. He accepted it.  
It shouldn't be that way.

Apparently Louis just shouldn't be happy.

***

Sheina: Haha hey Louis, how are you?

Louis: Well so far. Did you get home safely?

Sheina: Yes, thank you. What about you ...? Was Harry okay to you?!

Louis: Yes... thanks for sending me to him, we were talking and everything is understandable

Sheina: No problem... but Louis, please don't see everything he does as understandable, yes? Even if he has a problem... he mustn't take that as an excuse to hurt you

Harry came back after a while and Louis looked up from his phone. He didn't know what to answer anyway.  
"And?"  
"Don't know how to find that", Harry answered. He seemed to have calmed down a bit. Probably because the conversation with a therapeutic clinic reminded him of what he really looked like and that he couldn't treat everyone as he wanted. They were professionals, he couldn't fool them. When Harry sat down next to him, Louis immediately put his phone away.  
"Why? What was it?"  
"Do you know how long it usually takes to get an appointment with something like that? Otherwise I would never have called"  
Louis ignored the last statement. Did he really think he could delay it somehow? God, he was like a stubborn kid who didn't want to be vaccinated because he didn't know how important it was for his health and that it was really lucky that there was such a thing and that the child could do it.  
"When's your appointment?"  
"This afternoon something spontaneously became free. I don't want to know what happened to the one who actually had this appointment"  
Louis sighed.  
"It's good, Haz"  
Harry said nothing and Louis got up.  
"I'll take a shower"  
He immediately turned and put a finger on Harry's mouth, who looked up at him with a smirk.  
"Psht. Don't say anything"  
Harry had to laugh and Louis had to smile.  
"You'd rather make breakfast"  
Harry rolled his eyes and Louis couldn't help but kiss him. He put his lips on Harry's soft ones. The kiss wasn't long, not even with movement or anything. Just alone the touch of their lips. Louis' favourite kiss.  
He went back and saw Harry frown, but he even had closed his eyes.  
"What was that now?", he almost pouted.  
Louis shrugged, smiling lightly.  
"Nothing"  
Then he nudged the older man's nose.  
"Just so you know: I love you and no matter what happens, I'll always help you. No matter what"  
Harry's expression changed briefly and he said nothing at first. Then he cleared his throat and raised an eyebrow as the corner of his mouth went up.  
"Kitchy alarm. Should I get tissues?"  
Louis had to giggle because Harry wasn't angry or annoyed. Apparently, he was in a better mood again and saw it with humour.  
"Breakfast", Louis said again as a reminder, until he disappeared into the bathroom.

***

"I don't know", Ashlyn answered when she and Sheina had breakfast.  
"I mean, he... that was really strange yesterday. I have no idea what to believe him. Did you see how all the girls looked at him? Why doesn't he say that he has a girlfriend? Am I embarrassing him? Is he ashamed of me?! "  
Sheina looked at her sadly. She was such a great girl; she didn't deserve it. She shouldn't lose her self-confidence just because she fell in love with such a dumbass.  
"Give him a chance to explain", she said anyway.  
"Listen to what he has to say and then make a decision. Ultimately, you can only end with it if you know what happened"  
"You think it's over?"  
Sheina said nothing. She hoped it would be soon. Because then Ashlyn could move on.  
"No idea..."  
Ashlyn just said nothing and then sighed.  
"I... yes, you're probably right. I'll talk to him and then see"  
Sheina nodded.  
"Very smart, Ash"  
Ashlyn gave her a slight smile, then it grew wider.  
"Where did you get yesterday's dress from? You looked incredibly good! And it looked so expensive?"  
Sheina swallowed.  
"Oh that... it was from... a friend of mine"  
Ashlyn just nodded and Sheina was glad. She didn't want to tell her that it was from Gemma.  
But then she remembered something: she still had her other clothes at Harry's!

Oh crap

She got up.  
"I have to make a short call", she said and her friend nodded.  
"Do that, I go watch telly"  
Sheina laughed and left the room, then dialed Harry's number. This got on the phone quickly.  
"Yes?"  
Sheina had to smile.  
"Hey there"  
"Hi what's up?"  
"I still have my clothes at yours"  
"Well, that does sound wrong"  
Sheina rolled her eyes and Harry laughed when she didn't answer.  
"Funny. So can I come over quickly?"  
"Nah, I'm coming around quickly"  
"What? No, you don't have to"

And you no longer have to act like a gentleman in front of me, she thought, but refrained from saying it out loud.

"See it as a thank you", he smiled.  
"For what?", Sheina asked confused and Harry was silent for a moment.  
"You opened my eyes, Sheina. Now shut up, we forget it all, I hate talking about such serious kitschy and sentimental things. Send me your address, then I'll drive home quickly and bring them to you"  
Sheina was silent for a moment.  
"Oh, you aren't at home?"  
He was silent and she had to grin.  
"Harry? Where are you?"  
Harry didn't answer, but a bright voice in the background spoke now.  
"Have you quite finished and make breakfast or what's this?"  
She had to laugh and Harry chuckled.  
"Don't say you slept at Louis'"  
"Well, they have a guest room, you know..."  
"Sure", Sheina said, and was incredibly happy. Harry and Louis seemed to have been talking and seemed happy and in a good mood. Harry didn't seem disrespectful to Louis either. She actually thought everything was fine from now on and he would continue to be good with him. She was as naive as anyone else who let Harry fool her. And she wanted to leave them alone from now on and not longer interfere in this.  
"So everything went well?"  
"Yeah, maybe"  
Sheina heard his voice turn a little quieter at the sentence, as if he was turning to Louis. A giggle confirmed this and Sheina had to grin. Harry somewhat cared about Louis, she knew it.  
"Well then. I think until later? You still have to make breakfast for the birthday child as I just heard?"  
"Yes, I hurry up"  
"Yeah, all right, take your time"  
"Oh, well then...", Harry said and she could almost hear his smirk.  
"Not that much time either", Sheina warned and he laughed before hanging up.  
Sheina didn't know what had happened there yesterday and what exactly it was between Louis and Harry. But she guessed it was good.  
So she went back to Ashlyn to continue supporting her.

***

In fact, Louis got his eagerly awaited breakfast. And it wasn't a coriander, ginger and spring onion quiche, as Harry had promised. Louis couldn't help but lick the dough from the hand mixer. Dough was far too tasty. And moreover, another delicious pancake dough. It was one of his favourites in the fall: cinnamon pancakes with caramelized apples. God, he didn't even know how it worked. He grabbed a piece of the caramelized apples and sighed contentedly as it went into his mouth.

"Harry, come on!", he called, because Harry was somewhere again, left him here with a plate full of pancakes and forbade him to eat anything of it. Did he want to torture him?!

"Where are my clothes, again?!", he heard from upstairs.  
"Oh", he remembered. He once again had completely forgotten that.  
"Uh, I washed them! Just come down naked, no problem!", he called up and grinned as he sat down.  
Then he heard Harry's footsteps go down the many steps.  
"Can you even do laundry?"  
Louis crossed his arms over his chest when he saw Harry's grin, had to briefly examine him and drool a little. He had the towel around his waist again.  
"You tell me after breakfast when you slip into your fresh smelling and clean and soft clothes"  
"Well, if you wash like you cook-"  
"Bon appetit", Louis interrupted and immediately stuffed a piece of pancake, including a piece of caramelized apple, into his mouth. Harry rolled his eyes, but then did the same. The familiar Louis-sigh could be heard, which could only be elicited from him by giving him something delicious to eat. Louis was a little child. Or a pet that couldn't do anything on its own, but shut up with food. Harry had to smile through his thoughts.  
"Hm?", Louis asked, chewing.  
"You're like a little pet", Harry said, challenging looking at Louis. This one swallowed and then put his head on his hands.  
"Sure, I'm your kitten"  
Harry's face fell.  
"Careful", he growled and Louis grinned before putting another piece of pancake in his mouth. He enjoyed the mood between them, it was so relaxed. Maybe it was really because Harry had slept so well? Maybe he should go to sleep therapy? Louis would volunteer. First, Harry, second, sleep.

***

Harry was sitting on Louis' bed, just sending a message to Sheina that they were finished eating and would soon be heading to Harry's house. Louis was still in the laundry room and got their clothes.

Shouldn't the clothes still be wet now?, Harry noticed annoyed and at that moment he heard a sweet "Harryyyy?" from the hallway and sighed.  
"What?"  
Louis came into the room, his lips pressed together, his eyes wide and he looked at him innocently.

Oh god

"What's going on?", Harry asked with a premonition and now noticed that Louis had his hands behind his back.  
"I think... so there was something wrong about washing..."  
Harry sighed, got up and Louis narrowed at Harry's waiting look.  
"You hardly see it!", he said then, and Harry crossed his arms over his chest and frowned.  
"What? I thought you mean they're still wet. What shouldn't you see?"  
Louis said nothing, looked at the floor.  
"Louis, what happened to my clothes?", Harry asked now in a menacing tone and Louis sighed, pulling out Harry's shirt. If that was Harry's shirt at all.  
"Oh my..."  
Harry put both hands over his face, sighed, then looked back through a slit.  
"God, Louis, what the..."  
"But you can see it barely-"  
"It's purple, Louis! What shouldn't you see there?!"  
Louis said nothing, looked at the shirt, then at Harry, then at the shirt again. He held it up to Harry.  
"When I think about it, the colour would look pretty good on you-"  
"Louis!"  
Louis blushed, then sighed.  
"I'm sorry, I wanted to do you a favour..."  
Harry was silent until he understood.  
"Louis... don't say that you washed the shirt together with the purple sweater..."  
With Louis' look he didn't have to speak any further.  
"God", he sighed and Louis pouted.  
"I wanted it to be fresh again. Then just take something from me-"  
"Sure, because I also wear children's sizes"  
Louis gave him an annoyed look and Harry chuckled, then got serious again.  
"When I think about it... by the way you hold the shirt, it looks like it would fit you"  
Louis said nothing.  
"What? No, why? It's just like before"  
"Louis", said Harry gravely, standing in front of him now, ripping his shirt from his hand.  
"Shit", he sighed, because the fabric of the shirt had contracted, making it smaller.  
"It's for the bin anyway", he sighed and Louis pouted again.  
"I'm sorry, I'll buy you another one"  
"Just take care of something I can wear now"  
Louis said nothing.  
"Oh", he said, blushing.  
"Wait"  
Then he went to his closet, rummaged a little before pulling out a sweater. Harry raised an  
eyebrow.  
"I'm supposed to walk around belly-free now?"  
Louis giggled, then walked towards him and held it out to him.  
"No, that suits you. Because it's yours"  
Harry said nothing, looked at the sweater, then at Louis, then back at the sweater in front of him.  
"What?", he almost snatched the cloth from Louis' hands.  
Louis nodded slightly, looked at his hands.  
"Why do you have that?"  
"You lent it to me once"  
"When?!"  
"When we...", Louis started and looked up. Harry frowned at Louis' eyes, which shined sadly at him.  
"What?"  
Louis was silent, wanting Harry to remember this special moment for himself. But he didn't.  
"On my 15th birthday when we had our first time and I put it on after and you told me the next morning that I should just give it back to you sometime..."  
"And does 'sometime' mean a year later for you?"  
Louis sighed and shrugged.  
"I somehow forgot about it and then you didn't ask any more. I thought it would be okay if I kept it. And then we weren't together anymore, so I didn't want to give it back to you..."  
Harry rolled his eyes, just pulled the sweater over his head.  
"And do you have any pants from me, too, or-"  
"Wait", Louis said, turning to the closet.  
"Unbelievable", Harry sighed, crossing his arms over his chest.  
"And for the 20th time: It was not our first time. Only yours"  
"And yours with a boy!", Louis felt attacked and Harry rolled his eyes.  
"Maybe that's not true?"  
Louis gave him a defiant look.  
"No, it's true. I was the first and you will never be able to change that!"  
Harry sighed.  
"Big cinema. Now what? Want a cookie?"  
Louis turned back to the closet, hurt.

I was the first. And Harry will remember that night forever. There is nothing he can do about it, Louis thought and he couldn't help but be incredibly happy.

"No, I have nothing. So you can get some pants from me-"  
"Sure. Because my legs look the same"  
Louis rolled his eyes.  
"I'm going to pick out the biggest one that I have. I mean it's just a little short, but I have thicker legs than you, it should fit"  
"Wohoo, my ass is completely gone then "  
Louis looked at him questioningly.  
"Because of you, the fabric is certainly stretched there"  
"Ha ha"  
Harry laughed and Louis turned back to the closet. Harry, on the other hand, stood behind Louis and a hand laid on Louis' ass.  
"Not that I think that's bad", Harry said in Louis's ear, causing the smaller one to turn red.  
"Haz"  
"Hmmm?", Harry hummed and his face was now on Louis' neck. Louis sighed, stretched his neck to the right so Harry had more space.  
"We have to...", he stopped when Harry's grip tightened and Harry's lips bit his skin.  
"We don't have to do anything, if I don't say it. Have you forgotten?", Harry said against his skin, pulling him closer to himself by his hips.  
"But Sheina..."  
"She can wait"  
"N-no, we should..."  
"What should we do?", Harry asked, pressing Louis' butt more to his front. Louis moaned.  
"Fuck, Harry"  
"Correct", Harry smirked and Louis had to giggle, then bit his lip. It felt too good. It always felt too good with Harry to be wrong. Although it was.

***

Harry shut off the car and looked at Louis, who was rocking up and down with his right knee.  
"I guess you don't want to come in?"  
"So my sister will kill me? Certainly not", Louis murmured, and Harry laughed lightly and shook his head as he unbuckled himself.  
"I like your sister", he said, and Louis looked at him; he no longer laughed.  
"But if she tells my sister or anyone anything, I can't guarantee for anything"  
Louis swallowed when he saw Harry's eyes.

Why does he say that? Was that an invitation to me to make sure she won't tell anyone?

"And what are you going to do now?", he asked quietly and Harry looked briefly at the house before turning back to Louis.

"I will start dating her"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know about you, but when I have a problem I just start dating it. Lifehack #1.
> 
> ! If you have questions/remarks, don’t be scared to comment  
> I’m happy about every Kudos and comment <3  
> All the love xx  
> @runningwatermelon  
> (Twitter & Instagram: larrymelon28; Wattpad: runningwatermelon)


	18. ||16||

Harry threw the door shut and went up the first staircase to look for Sheina's things.  
But he couldn't find her bag and groaned annoyed, stomped out of the room, banging against the edge of a shelf from which several books were rumbling. He cursed and picked them up before he went up one floor. He just turned into the hallway when suddenly he was jumped on with a loud scream and stumbled backwards. He would have fallen over if he hadn't grabbed the railing in time.

"Harry?", Gemma asked suddenly, and the person on his arm looked straight into his face. Lottie turned bright red.  
"What's going on here?", Harry asked, but he had to laugh at the look on Lottie's face. She was visibly embarrassed by the way she was in her bathrobe on his arms. Immediately she jumped off him and straightened the garment. Gemma couldn't stop rolling her eyes and dropped the make-up stool that she had apparently been using as a defence.  
"What are you doing here?"  
"What? I'm not allowed to be here?"  
"All we heard was footsteps and noises and then something falling over. And then more walking", Lottie explained, and Harry raised his eyebrows.  
"And you fairy tried to knock me down?"  
She looked at him offended.  
"Yes", she said, pissed, and Harry smiled.  
"Lottie jumped right out of the pool", Gemma giggled, explaining the bathrobes they were both wearing.  
I just wanted to get Sheina's things and take them to her"  
"Sheina?", Lottie asked and Gemma looked at her, starting to get annoyed.  
"Never mind. She left some clothes here and I'm going to bring her these"  
"I put her things in my room. Take them and get out before you scare us like that again" Gemma answered, sticking her tongue out. Harry laughed and shook his head.  
"Aye"

And God was he glad that Lottie had not paid attention to his too short trousers.

***

"Are you crazy? Are you trying to kill me? What's the point?!"  
Harry was directly bombarded with questions as he sat in the driver's seat. He threw Sheina's bag in the back seat, slammed the door and looked at Louis. Yes, he had perhaps taken a little too much time changing, but so what?  
"We both know I'm crazy"  
"But not like that!", Louis said, with his arms folded across his chest.  
"I don't want that, Harry"  
"And since when do I care?", Harry said annoyed.  
"But-"  
"Come down, Louise. I've changed my mind"  
Louis was silent for a moment.  
"How?"  
Harry nodded and started the engine.  
"She didn't tell Gemma. And I know she won't tell anyone anything. I had my doubts, but she really likes me too much. I'll have another word with her, and then that'll be that"  
Louis was relieved. Nothing could have been worse for him than that. And yet he frowned.  
"Just... talk?"  
Harry sighed as he turned into the street.  
"Yes, talk Louis. Besides, I don't want any drama with Ryan. Then he talks about me being a girlfriend stealer"  
Louis just nodded. Harry always seemed to be thinking about what he was doing.

Anyway, the main thing is he's not going to date Lottie. Yuck

And yet both knew that Lottie would date him if she had the chance. She would throw Ryan to the wind, would not care about Louis' feelings and would listen to Harry's words that it would be okay. He was more important to both siblings than they were to each other.

***

Sheina came out of her house when they had parked and hugged Harry, who was already outside. They began to talk and Louis snorted. Was he air or what? He grabbed Sheina's bag and grinned; then Harry opened the car door, laughing at something Sheina had said. Louis had to smile at Harry and jumped out of the car, the bag in his ulna.  
"Louis?!"  
"Well, well, darling, I think it looks better on me", he said, wiggling his hips and walking around her. Sheina had to laugh.  
"Give me my bag"  
Louis grinned silly and gave it to her. Then he looked at Harry, who rolled his eyes, but had to grin a bit himself. Louis frowned as Sheina immediately looked into the bag and rummaged through it.  
"I didn't steal your tampons, don't worry, sweety"  
Sheina smiled and took out an envelope.  
"Thank God. I don't know, I was afraid I lost it"  
"What is this?" Louis asked, but then looked down at her.  
"And haven't you forgot something? Your pants, for example?", he asked, pointing to Sheina's bare legs, since she was only wearing a big shirt.  
"Yes, yes, funny", she said and he rolled his eyes.  
"What? Maybe you didn't notice how you were clinging to Harry half-naked. I didn't know if you were aware of that"  
Harry smirked amused and she sighed.  
"I only hugged him, Louis. Still jealous with 16 years, eh?"  
"Will never change", Harry said now and Louis stuck his tongue out at her.  
"I didn't know you were coming, too. Were you at Harry's house, too?"  
"To get back in my sister's face again? I want to relive my 17th"  
"What?"  
"He insisted on going", Harry said, and Louis looked at him.  
"Ha Ha"  
"Why? What's wrong?", Sheina asked now.  
"Nothing", explained Louis.  
"We have to go somewhere after this, and Harry didn't want to go alone"  
"Fortunately, Sheina, you don't have to know everything. Louis, are you coming with me, or are you going to wait out here?", Harry babbled.  
"No, I'm far too curious how Sheina lives", he said, already stomping off in the direction of the house she had come from.  
"Besides, I want to see how her bed is made up when she thought you'll come here alone"  
Sheina had to laugh and Harry rolled his eyes, then followed her to the house.  
She unlocked the door and they only had to walk a few steps because Sheina's family's apartment was on the ground floor. She unlocked the door again and Louis rushed in first, finding it far too exciting how a stranger lived.  
"I'll be right there"  
Louis turned to her.  
"What's in there? Are you so embarrassed to have someone see the birth control pill box?"  
"You can just annoy me with girl problems, right?"  
Louis looked thoughtfully for a moment, then nodded.  
"Yes, indeed. And where do you keep your rib crushers?"  
"My bras are in my closet and that's where they stay", Sheina grinned ironically and Louis had to giggle. Harry didn't allow himself to be distracted by the childish conversation, which of course came from Louis, and looked at the photos on the wall.  
"No, there are two tickets in there"  
"Oi, where to?"  
"Paris"  
Harry could literally hear the sparkle in Louis' eyes and his dreamy look as he dreamily repeated the name of the city.  
"Yes", she nodded, smiling.  
"It was a birthday present from a friend of mine"  
Louis raised both eyebrows.  
"A friend?"  
Sheina nodded and now Harry turned back to them.  
"You can't say that to Louis"  
"Please, if a friend gives you a trip to fucking Paris as a gift, it's not a common thing of friendship", Louis said hysterically and Sheina couldn't help smiling.  
"Yes, I know"  
Louis immediately jumped up and down and shook her arm.  
"Oh my god, who is it?! How come you never told me?"  
"Louis, we've known each other less than 24-"  
"What's his name?! How old is he? How long have you known him? And what does he look like?!"  
"Louis!"  
Louis flinched at Harry's loud voice and Sheina also looked startled at Harry, who looked at the smaller one annoyed.  
"Shut up and stop being annoying for one second", he said and Louis frowned, but let go of Sheina before he went exploring in any room again.  
"Harry-"  
"Say nothing. I can't stand it when he screams around like that", he interrupted her and Sheina remained silent. She hadn't minded it; she had found it sweet how happy he had been for her and how interested he had been.  
"You could have said that nicer", she just said and went past him to her room to put the envelope in a drawer. That way she didn't see Harry's rolled eyes.

Women

"Aww, your TV is so small", Sheina heard from the living room and rolled her eyes.

Rich show-off

"Yeah, you bought the bigger one from us. Then there only was the one left that's as small as you are"  
She heard Harry laughing out loud and Louis just said, "Hey!"  
"She didn't just say that", Louis mumbled insulted and Harry just chuckled, leaned against the door frame and watched Louis looking at everything.  
"Why are you so interested in this?"  
Louis looked at him in surprise and blushed slightly.  
"What? Uh, I don't know. It interested me. Not that she was actually planning to kill you and there are guns lying around"  
Harry raised an eyebrow and Louis giggled before going towards the taller one.  
"Are you nervous?"  
Harry frowned and looked at the taller one, arms still crossed over his chest.  
"Why should I?"  
"Well, because of later", said Louis and looked at him curiously.

How dare he?

"Say another word and you can walk straight home"  
Louis' eyes widened, but Harry didn't seem to be kidding.  
"Sorry", Louis muttered, looking at his hands. Why did Harry have such bad mood swings today? It was like he was letting his nervousness and bad mood out on Louis by confronting reality. Because with him, you could do it.  
He was about to say something when they heard a scream from Sheina's room. They looked at each other briefly, then ran into this one. There Sheina stood there, completely exhausted, staring into her closet.  
"What's wrong?!", Louis asked, and Sheina covered her teary eyes while turning away from the closet.  
"Fuck, spider", she said, sounding as if she had seen a giant dumbbell. Louis looked at Harry, but he looked as if he hadn't even heard what she had said. He silently inspected Sheina's body as she stood in front of them in bra and trousers, apparently wanting to change. How could he?! Well, maybe he couldn't help it, but it was enough when Harry just said 'Come here' and raised his right arm. Without thinking Sheina went to him with quick steps and let him hug her. Louis' angry look Harry didn't even notice.  
"Can somebody do something?!", Sheina grumbled, still not realizing that Harry was only hugging her to be as close as possible to this girl in her underwear.  
"I hate spiders", Harry said and Louis went to the desk without another word, emptied a glass with pens, grabbed a postcard and went to the cupboard. He didn't mind the spider; it was relatively small. He made the glass over it and without further ado pushed the paper under it, carried it to the window.  
"Can somebody open the window?", he asked and turned around, but there was nobody there. He sighed in frustration before putting the poor spider down, opening the window and then releasing it. He put the two things on the table before he went out to find them. He then heard Harry's voice from the living room and went inside.

Seriously?!

Sheina was still in Harrys arms and was just trying to calm down. Louis folded his arms across his chest and cleared his throat. Sheina looked at him and her look became hopeful.  
"Is it gone?"  
Louis could only nod and she sighed in relief before going out of Harry's arms, which Harry seemed to dislike.  
"Sorry, I... I have a sick spider phobia, as you may have noticed. Oh", she said at the end, only now realizing that she was only wearing a bra on top.  
"Sorry", she said and quickly walked past Louis to her room. Louis only looked at Harry, who was looking at her in thoughts.  
"Harry"  
He didn't react and Louis stomped his foot on the floor. Harry blinked and looked at Louis.  
"Pull yourself together!", hissed the younger one and left the room. Sheina stepped out of the room dressed at that moment.  
"Sorry, Louis. I behaved like a little girl", she said embarrassed and Louis smiled slightly.  
"No problem, phobias are not to be trifled with"  
Now Harry joined them and Sheina became a little red.  
"Yes, that's right. If I wasn't afraid of spiders myself, I would have liked to help", he smiled sweetly and she giggled. Louis did nothing, just looked silently at the front door, from which he would now like to run out of.  
"Anyway, we have to go. If there's a spider here again, call Louis the exterminator", said Harry and hugged Sheina again for far too long. She laughed and nodded.

***

"What the hell was that?!", Louis asked with folded arms in front of his chest, as soon as they were in the car. Harry just rolled his eyes before he started the engine. But Louis couldn't help himself. He was beginning to understand that in such situations it was more useful to piss Harry off. If Sheina got him to understand what he had done by pissing him off, then Louis had to do the same. It probably helped more than crying. This was hard for Louis, because he loved him and Harry only hurt him by such actions, but what could he do? Why did Sheina have to stand there in her underwear? It was like she knew what she was doing and was just asking for it! And no, Louis wasn't exaggerating!

"Harry...?", he asked uncertainly when he noticed how tense Harry's hands were holding the steering wheel. When he also noticed how he increased the speed, he had enough. After all, he was holding the lives of both of them in his hands here!  
"Hello? Can you come down?!"  
"Shut up!", Harry said loudly and Louis flinched, snorted and looked out of the window insulted.

Well, that went well.  
With Sheina, he'd probably have weakened again and realized it. I wonder if he would cry again?

Harry made an emergency stop when the car in front of them turned and there was a honking behind them.  
"Blink, dumbass"  
Louis saw the indicator of the car that had just turned off go out.  
"He was blinking", he said calmly, trying to get a normal pulse after the shock.  
"And can you please drive like someone who hasn't gone completely crazy?"  
"Well, I am", Harry bawled him out and Louis looked at him.  
"Or why are we seeing a therapist?"  
Louis swallowed and Harry drove on, this time a little slower but just as tense. Louis was sorry. Of course, he was. He wanted to help Harry; he shouldn't hate himself. And yet he wanted to reassure Harry and prevent him from being angry with the smaller one.  
"We don't have to go there, if it's going to get you so upset, Haz", he said quietly after a period of silence and Harry just sighed.  
"Or I don't have to go with you if you can do this on your-"  
"You know I have to", Harry interrupted him and Louis couldn't interpret the mood.  
"And I want you to go with me. I know myself. You'll go with me so I don't chicken out"  
"Or rape Sheina", Louise mumbled from Louis, and Harry slowed down immediately. Louis eyes widened; luckily there was no car behind them this time. Confused but also frightened, Louis watched as Harry drove into an empty parking space.  
"I knew jokes would come about such things; that's why I didn't tell anyone. But with you in particular, I somehow still had the feeling that you handled it differently", Harry said bitterly, his gaze still straight ahead, his hands still on the steering wheel. Louis remained silent. The sentence had just slipped out of his mouth, he had actually only wanted to think it.

Idiot!

Harry wanted him here and what did Louis do?!  
"If you want to joke about it, you can do it on your own outside. So if that's what you want, I won't make you join me. Here", he bent over Louis and opened the passenger door.  
"Then get out"  
There was such a calm in his voice while he was saying all this. Like it really hurt him. He wasn't angry. He was serious. Louis was trembling and not because of the wind, which now came through the open door into the car.  
"I would never leave you alone, Haz", Louis said softly and Harry was silent. As if he didn't believe him. Without hesitation Louis slammed the door again and then looked resolutely at Harry.  
"Harry, try to understand me. I-I have to get along with this and somehow see how I should deal with it. It's not like I have any experience with that, I turned 16 today. And you know that I haven't had any other experience with others... only with you"  
Harry just looked straight ahead again.  
"I didn't even know this existed, I don't know. And then again... how am I supposed to deal with Sheina suddenly being half-naked in your arms and you're acting like an animal. If I know you somehow don't mean it that way, but I love you, which is why it hurts me, and that is somehow all too much", Louis tried to describe his thoughts and looked at Harry with a mixture of understanding and defiance when he looked at him. Harry had to grin and Louis really wondered if he was taking anything because he had these mood swings. Was it still healthy? But Harry was not healthy. Neither him nor Louis.  
"I forgot"  
"What?"  
"That you love me so undyingly"  
He didn't take him seriously again and Louis' face fell, but he also blushed.  
"How can you even forget that; I'm always trying to show you-"  
"So just now you-"  
"That was Louise and I'm sorry"  
Harry rolled his eyes.  
"Can we get going now? At a reasonable pace?"  
The joke that Harry felt he wasn't being taken seriously by Louis and replied: "Louis, you just don't understand what this is like for me. It's like... like when a chainsmoker doesn't get his cigarette"  
Louis frowned.  
"For real?"  
Harry groaned annoyed.  
"Yes, my God. It's an addiction. Do you know what it is, or do I need to explain it to you?!"  
Louis said nothing, didn't want to fight.  
"When Lottie smoked so much for a while, you must have noticed that"  
"Y-yeah, but... but I never compared it", Louis quietly admitted and Harry sighed.  
"Let's just get it over with", he said annoyed.  
But before he could start the engine, Louis pulled him over and kissed him. Harry frowned at first, but then smirked and replied. Louis climbed onto his lap and buried his hands in the hair of the taller one. He didn't know what he was doing here or why. He had to do something to calm him down, didn't he? He couldn't let Harry be totally unfriendly and bad-tempered with the therapist.

But Louis didn't notice; it was the first time he had ever taken advantage of Harry's addiction. Partly to make sure he wasn't angry with him; partly to somehow imagine that Harry liked him more than Sheina and anyone else. Simply because he was the one sitting on Harry at that moment.

***

Sheina was relieved when Ashlyn was the first to ring her doorbell in the evening. She had invited her and two of her friends to stay over. And since Ashlyn was the first one with her, she could ask her if she wanted to tell the others about the thing with Harry the previous evening.  
"I don't think so", she said.  
"I mean, what's there to tell... I want to hear what Harry has to say first. Hopefully we'll meet up soon"  
Sheina nodded and hugged her.  
"I feel kind of stupid, too"  
"What? Why?"  
"Well, Trina has had so many relationships and Gabby has a great relationship with Wendy"  
"One's a hoe, the other's a lesbian. They are tolerant, aren't they?", joked Sheina and Ashlyn rolled their eyes and both laughed.  
"No, I mean... now I was the one with Harry as my boyfriend. Even Trina was jealous, you know? Even though not many people knew about our relationship... I wasn't the one who was jealous of Trina or Gabby"  
"But you shouldn't create or maintain a relationship because of that. I mean I understand you! But if it's not meant to be with Harry, you can't say you have to get that just to look good. And Trina had a lot of boys on the start, but you can't really admire that either. Matter of opinion"  
Ashlyn nodded, then frowned.  
"I think we're both exaggerating. Especially you. No one here said anything about Harry and I breaking up. It's just a little weird about what happened last night. But there is an explanation for that, and I bet Harry has a good one. No one said anything about the breakup. I love him too much, I can't let him go"  
Sheina withheld a sigh. She had somehow forgotten that Ashlyn didn't know half of what happened yesterday. She knew next to nothing. But Sheina was supposed to tell her about it, wasn't she? She was holding back, though. Maybe Harry would make it so that they would break up without breaking her heart.  
"I'm going to let Trina and Gabby and you just distract me today. Today only you girls count"  
"I think it's good", nodded Sheina and took a funny evening for Ashlyn.  
Trina and Gabby also arrived shortly after that with the plan to go into the city.

***

So after they had already been in a bar, they were just in the city centre, looking for a club or another bar.  
"I only remember how you left me alone in the canoe after you saw a spider", Ashlyn said and Sheina had to laugh, just like the others.  
"I'm sorry, spiders make me run away really fast"  
"God, school trips" Ashlyn shook his head laughing.  
"The best part of high school"  
Everyone nodded, because they were in complete agreement. Even though Trina and Gabby went to a different school than Sheina and Ashlyn.  
"Beside the pranks"  
Ashlyn laughed at Gabby's objection.  
"Always funny to see teachers climbing up the stairs because they have mats on them", she said, then looked to Sheina to the right. Her gaze wandered behind them and her laughter suddenly fell. Confused, Sheina stopped when her friend did, because they had folded their arms into each other. She looked behind her in wonder, then swallowed.

Damn it.

Louis' gaze met hers and the smile that had just graced his face suddenly fell. He then smiled slightly, insecure. Sheina replied and then his opposite turned around. His green eyes met Sheina's and she saw how his previously relaxed sitting posture tensed up.  
"Let's move on quickly, Ash", Sheina hissed and wanted to move her friend on but it was too late.  
"Hey, there's Harry", said Gabby and Trina now saw him too.  
"Oh dear. Ashlyn, please pull yourself together, we are among people"  
Ashlyns' look was unsteady and Sheina didn't know what to do.  
But the question was taken from her when Trina grabbed her wrist and pulled her to them. Quickly Sheina and then Gabby ran after them.  
"You have to get you out of the stare", Trina laughed and the two had arrived, just like Sheina and Gabby a short time later. Harry looked up at Trina confused. He had thought Ashlyn would go on. And to be honest, he had hoped so, too. He didn't want to get into an awkward situation like that.  
"What-"  
"Now I get it", Trina said, and Sheina looked at her confused. Did she suspect something? Because you could see that the situation wasn't normal.  
"You probably know that we planned a girls' evening without men and you're confused why we came here, huh? Yeah, we've been planning to, but a little kiss to Ashlyn's hot boyfriend won't kill us"

Cringe alert.

"Ashlyn?!", Louis leaped up, alarmed, and Sheina swore softly. Life sucks. Shitty fate. And why were Harry and Louis even here? Harry got up too, hoping Louis would just pull himself together.  
"Yeah?", Ashlyn asked with a raised eyebrow and glanced at Louis, who snorted with his arms folded across his chest. Then he took a step closer to Harry. He had to hold back a remark from Louise. And how!  
Harry looked at Sheina a little searching for help. What? What could she do?! Besides, it was all Harry's fault! But Ashlyn beat her to it.  
"Don't be ridiculous, Trina", she laughed slightly.  
"Today it's just us girls, even I can do it. I was just so confused what my baby is doing here"  
Louis' stare would have killed her if stares could kill. Alarmed, he looked at her.  
"Your-"  
"I wanted to get something and met a friend", Harry interrupted Louis, standing in front of them and smiling charmingly.  
"Ah yes", said Trina, looking confused between the two of them.  
"Everything okay with you? I thought you'd jump right into his arms, Ash"  
"This is embarrassing in front of so many people", Sheina now interfered and Ashlyn's reddened face fortunately fit the situation.  
"I don't want to stop you any longer", Harry said and Sheina nodded quickly. Just get out of here, she thought.  
"Yep, we have to keep going. See you, Louis!", she didn't think again.  
"Louis?!", Ashlyn said in horror and looked at the smaller one. Sheina really wanted to smack herself.  
"Yes, that's right", Louis looked triumphantly at them from behind Harry.  
"This is the friend? The dwarf who has a crush on you?"  
"Well, listen, you little bi-"  
"We still had to talk about it anyway", Harry immediately covered Louis' mouth roughly, who glared at her angrily.  
"Well", Ashlyn said unenthusiastically and Harry sighed.  
"Somehow I've got to sort this out"  
She was silent for a moment.  
"Yes, you're right. Thought it was already settled", Ashlyn gave in, of course, and Trina and Gabby looked at each other a bit shocked.  
"What the hell is going on?", Gabby asked.  
"Never mind, just shut up Louis", said Harry and pushed Louis back into his chair.  
"Have a nice evening", he said, taking a step towards Ashlyn before pulling her to him and kissing her. Sheina made big eyes, but then looked away quickly. Ashlyn himself was surprised, too.

Louis said nothing. He was as shocked as Sheina, but the feeling vanished quickly and jealousy formed in him instead. He clenched his hands in fists. To see Harry here in front of him kissing this slut named Ashlyn, who called him her boyfriend, was terrible for him. He looked at the knife with which a guest of the café was cutting his food. And if murder wasn't punishable by law, he would have torn the knife from his hand and rammed it into the throat of this bitch.  
That he had such sick thoughts when it came to Harry and that this wasn't normal, he didn't think about. And since he couldn't stab her, he looked down at his knees and swallowed his tears. He felt the lump in his throat, the stabbing in his chest that he always had. Which he always had when he imagined someone else with Harry. And this time he even saw it. He didn't want to see it anymore.

In the end, it was Harry who ended their kiss first. Of course, Ashlyn was still in love with him after all.  
"Please call me", Harry said softly. Ashlyn nodded after a moment's hesitation. She had decided to listen to his explanation after all.  
"Well then. Snogging over?", Trina asked, glancing back at Gabby, who replied.  
"Bye, Harry. Bye Lou-"  
Sheina stopped when she saw Louis looking at the floor, looking so fucking sad. She felt sorry for him. Of course, he was hurt now. Harry turned and saw it too before he sighed. He gave Sheina a look as if to say he would take care of it. She nodded, hoping he wouldn't be a dick to Louis, and took Ashlyn's hand to pull her away.

She was also grateful to Harry, though, that he had played along for Ashlyn in this situation. Because apparently, she hadn't had the heart to tell Trina and Gabby. Not yet. And if she had, that's what tonight would've been all about. For Louis, on the other hand, she felt really sorry. She really liked him. Even though she hadn't known him for very long, she somehow cared for this broken boy.

***

Louis heard the girls disappearing and sighed sadly. He prepared himself for a lecture from Harry. He himself would say that he was sorry, that it was his fault, what Harry would accuse him of, that he loved Harry and that he should please forgive Louis. Louis knew all that. And yet he went along with it every time. Because it was Harry. And he loved him. He stroked the inside of his left forearm. Harry hurt him that badly, didn't he? Mentally and physically, in a way.

Then he saw Harry's boots on the ground in front of him.  
"Was that bitchiness necessary? And what's all the crying about now again?"  
Louis kept quiet, he couldn't bring himself to ask Harry if he was fucking serious and if he was stupid. He shut up and heard Harry sigh before his feet were out of sight. He sat back down opposite Louis.  
"What do you think I should do, eh?", he asked, uncomprehendingly and again as if he wasn't taking Louis seriously. No, not as if... he didn't take him seriously.  
"Ashlyn apparently didn't tell her friends about yesterday, and that's a good thing. I owe her an apology. If she wants to pretend that we're still together until I explain, I will do that for her"  
Louis was silent. And he couldn't stop thinking about himself.  
"Will you tell her everything? About your addiction, then?"  
Harry was silent.  
"I don't know. Don't think so"  
And now Louis couldn't help but be happy. Because he was still the only one who knew about it. And that made him happy. Just out of pure selfishness, he was glad he was lying to an innocent girl.

Louis laid his hands on the table in front of them and quietly let his gaze fall on his arm again. He couldn't help it; it was like an urge that came over him when something was bothering him. Whatever it was that had to do with Harry. All his scars, inside and out, had been caused by Harry.  
"Don't think shit, Louis", Harry hissed when he saw the look and understood. And Louis had no idea if he was worried. For it had sounded more like a threat than a request. When he didn't answer, Harry sighed annoyed.  
"This is all bullshit. Let's go home"  
Immediately Louis looked at him.  
"No. You must not"  
He rolled his eyes.  
"I'm a grown man"  
"Yeah, with an addiction and a therapist who clearly said to stay outside as much as possible"  
"To see any people, I find hot? Perfect", the older one crossed his arms in front of his chest, looking like a little child who wasn't allowed to buy a scoop of ice cream before dinner. Louis smiled at his own thoughts and Harry looked at him a little surprised.  
"Are you making fun of me?"  
"What, no!", said Louis immediately in panic, but then saw Harry's grin, which made Louis look at him a bit annoyed. Again, he played with him.  
"And you should be outside so you're not sitting alone in your house and tempted or thinking of any dirty things"  
Harry chuckled, but said nothing, mustered him briefly before licking his lips.  
"Then perhaps it wasn't so convenient to go outside with you"  
Louis blushed. He didn't expect that now.  
"What do you mean?"  
In reply, he just smirked in amusement and stared into his eyes. Gosh, that look was so intense; Louis would have collapsed because his knees were getting so weak, if he wasn't sitting.  
"Who knows where you would go alone", he said, clearing his throat as his voice had been so soft. Harry put his hands on the table as well, leaning forward a little and Louis couldn't help but look at his beautiful hands.  
"Well, we can just go to my place. What do you say, baby boy?"  
"Harry!", Louis immediately hissed with a red face and looked around to see if anyone had heard him. Harry just laughed amused and leaned back, arms crossed in front of his chest.  
"Perhaps it's better here, yes. After all, I can keep an eye on you then. I don't want you to get any ideas at home alone"

Louis opened his mouth, but didn't know what to say. Because what Harry had said was so simple and yet so beautiful. They looked out for each other. They met here so that the two of them wouldn't be alone where their thoughts would control them. Harry noticed his speechlessness and laughed before he looked up.

"Looks like rain"  
Louis nodded, expecting to say they should leave.  
"I hate rain", they said at the same time, then looked at each other in surprise.  
"So we're at least no clichés about depressed people then", Harry grinned, but then had to laugh. Louis giggled and then they were silent. While Harry watched the people around him, Louis watched Harry. It had been strange in therapy; he had never been to anything like this before. He had often wondered what it was like in such a situation, he knew that he needed help himself after all. All he thought of was the habit of harming himself, not anything more.

But he didn't want to annoy his parents. It was okay. He was okay. He thought.

Because he figured as long as his arm was damaged, he was fine. That cutting could cause even worse mental damage, he didn't think about that.

Louis had to smile slightly when he thought back to the moment when the two were asked why they had been late. Louis could only imagine how red he must have turned when Harry had said with a slight grin: "For the same reason we are here".

***

* a few hours earlier *

Louis didn't even know why he was so nervous, after all it wasn't him who was soon questioned by a therapist.  
"Stop it", said Harry and put his hand briefly on Louis' bouncing knee, that stopped immediately. He took his hand away again and continued to fill in the thousand pieces of paper that had been pressed into his hand.  
"I have to wait here while you're inside, don't I?"  
"I think so", Harry said absently, continuing to fill in the sheet. Louis remained silent from then on, watching Harry's hand as he wrote.

When he finished, Harry went to the counter and gave the pad to the man at the computer. At first they were both confused, thinking the man was the therapist. He just looked like that. But for a short time they were answered the question who was the therapist. It turned out to be a woman. They both looked at the door that opened and she stepped out of it. Her light brown hair was pinned up and she had a friendly face with an honest smile on it. She was of course older than the two of them, but she had held up well; her charisma made her younger. And although it didn't matter whether it was a woman or a man, since Harry was into both, Louis immediately disagreed with the idea of her being a therapist. Because a woman was more likely to be interested in Harry than a man; for whatever reason, he just felt that it was like this. For Louis, age didn't lessen the jealousy.

The two of them stood up and tried not to show their surprise so obviously.  
"Mr. Styles?", asked the woman, and Harry nodded, immediately reaching out his hand, which she shook with a smile. Louis went bad. He couldn't help it; he was to be the only one to touch Harry's hand. And soap... and the toothbrush. Clothes, food... he was just supposed to be the only person who touched his hand.

"And you're bringing reinforcement?"  
And even though she sure didn't want to, she spoke to Louis like he was a little kid. Sure, Harry made him look like a kid, but still.  
But Louis just nodded briefly.  
"Louis Tomlinson", he quickly added and, somewhat shyly, stuck out his hand, always a little shy with new people.  
"Elia Jacobsen", she also introduced herself, then looked at Harry.  
"But you know that I won't hurt you? You don't need be afraid"  
Harry smiled; the woman was definitely sympathetic. And Louis felt even more like a little dog.  
Then her look changed and she looked at Harry with understanding.  
"Ah I see", she said.  
"Is this your boyfriend?"  
Now Louis was about to keel over. Bright red he looked at Harry, who looked at the therapist with a mixture of surprise and confusion.  
"No? Why do you think-"  
"You have no idea what I've been through here. Some people mistake this for relationship counselling"  
Louis would laugh, but it was like a stab in his chest when Harry answered immediately.  
"No don't worry, we're not together", Harry smiled charmingly and Louis looked away hurt. The woman did not miss this and after a quick glance at Louis, she looked back at Harry.  
"All right. Would you mind if I asked you both to my room before we begin our meeting? If I ask a question you don't want to answer in the presence of Mr. Tomlinson, you can just say so"

Both noticed at that moment that they had never heard Louis called 'Mr. Tomlinson' before.

"Whatever", said Harry. He didn't know whether he liked it or not to have support for the beginning. Louis was surprised, just following the two adults. The two boys sat down opposite the woman and she picked up a pad and pencil.  
"I like to take notes during meetings, is that okay?"  
Louis looked at Harry and when Harry nodded, he did the same. The woman noticed this and wrote. When she looked up after a short letter, she saw the two of them with a furrowed brow and had to smile.  
"Now", she said, "Why are you here?"  
Louis saw Harry swallow and looked at him cheerfully.  
"Like I said, if you want to be alone, just say so"  
"That's not it", sighed Harry, and again Louis was happy that Harry wanted him there.  
"I, um... have a hard time saying this out loud. It may sound a little weird, but it took some effort on my part to get here... and then ignored it, you know?"  
The woman made a note, but still seemed attentive.  
"Mmm, that's not uncommon, you know"  
Then she looked up.  
"A lot of people with problems block it out, think it'll go away and cover it up with some kind of... how shall I put it... illusionary person. A person who is only half of who they really are. And yet this problem, this illness or this habit is exactly what they are ashamed of inside; something that is not healthy or normal is not present in this illusory ego"

Louis couldn't help but nod slightly. It was all so true.

"And I can assure you...", she looked at the file in front of her, "Harry? May I call you that?"  
Harry nodded and she went on.  
"Harry, I've been a therapist for many years, I've listened to so many people and I've encountered so many different habits, disorders and addictions. It may be for you to surprise me with something completely new for me. But you can be sure that I won't laugh at such surprises"  
A little soothed by the therapist's words, Harry relaxed a little. And even though the woman may have said the words every day to reassure her patients; her eyes, which sparkled with such confidence and honesty, and the way she said it, just reassured you and made you believe what she was saying.  
"I'm addicted to sex"  
The therapist leaned forward a little.  
"You're what?"  
"I'm addicted to sex", Harry repeated uncomfortably and the woman leaned back, wrote something down.  
"There you go, that's the second time you've said it"  
A bit shocked both looked at her and she had to laugh a bit when she saw the looks.  
"I'm not trying to fool you, Harry, I'm sorry. I know how difficult this must be for you to say. But you see, you could say it to me twice. The second time without hesitation. And as you can see, I am not surprised, many people do indeed have this addiction; in fact, many more men suffer from it than women"  
Then she turned to Louis.  
"And you knew about this?"  
Louis hesitated, then nodded. The therapist returned it.  
"How long have you known about this, Mr.-?"  
"Please call me by my first name, Louis, I'm not used to be called by my last name. I'm under 18, so you don't need to, I think, anyway"  
The woman laughed, then nodded.  
"And um... to be honest, since yesterday... no today. So tonight..."  
Thoughtfully the woman nodded.  
"I see. And then you got Harry to start therapy, or am I wrong?"  
Louis looked at Harry, expected him to take over and in fact he was about to start, when the therapist raised her hand.  
"Don't get me wrong, Harry. I asked Louis"  
Louis looked uncomfortably at Harry, but then spoke up as he remained silent.  
"Well, when he told me about it, I told him to do this. So yes? I-I mean, he made an appointment, so I'd say we both did"  
The woman nodded, took notes, and Louis' nervousness to talk about this in front of Harry didn't go unnoticed by her. He seemed to pay attention with his words; to pay attention to what he said.  
"So why are you here now?"  
Louis looked again at Harry, who was just looking at him. Louis didn't know if he could tell the truth now. Sure, they were here to tell the truth, but he was afraid to upset Harry. It had been a stupid idea to go in.  
"Um, uh... well, in support?"  
The woman nodded, then looked at Harry.  
"Did you want Louis to come with you?"  
Harry hesitated, and Louis was relieved when he nodded.  
"Otherwise I probably would've chickened out, so to say"  
The woman nodded, wrote; she could not help but notice Louis' relieved attitude.  
"Tell me, Harry... do you ever speak publicly about your sexuality?"  
Louis' eyes grew wider and suddenly the pictures on the wall seemed very interesting to him.  
"Um... not exactly", Harry admitted and cleared his throat.  
"So, your friends or family don't know anything about this?"  
"No"  
"And would you be willing to open up to me? You understand it would simplify my view of the overall situation... but I don't want to force you. This is about helping you, Harry. And I think we're making progress just sitting here"  
Harry was silent for a moment, then sighed.  
"I'm bi"  
She nodded her head.  
"Mmm..."  
Then she looked up.  
"Have you two had sex?"  
Louis immediately looked at the woman and turned bright red. Harry was also shocked.  
"H-How", Louis cleared his throat, "How do you know I like men?"  
"Do you like men, Louis?"  
Harry had to chuckle, finding it oddly amusing. Because if Louis was into anything, it was men. Although, it was really only Harry. But he could hardly say he was harrysexual.

"Uh, I... yes?", said the younger one, playing shyly at the hem of his pullover sleeve, which went over his hands.  
The woman smiled.  
"And...?"  
Louis looked at Harry, who said resolutely, "No, we didn't"  
And maybe it was because he was denying Louis again, or maybe it was because Louis wanted to hear from Harry's mouth how he admitted that he slept with Louis often. So, it was a reflex (from Louise) that he snorted and crossed his arms in front of his chest. Harry looked at him threateningly, but Louis didn't see that at all, because he stared at the wall in insult. The therapist raised her eyebrows.  
"We'll talk about this again. You can go now, Louis. Thanks for the answers"

Louis loved to get up and walk out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed <3
> 
> ! If you have questions/remarks, don’t be scared to comment  
> I’m happy about every Kudos and comment <3  
> All the love xx  
> @runningwatermelon  
> (Twitter & Instagram: larrymelon28; Wattpad: runningwatermelon)


	19. ||17||

Louis didn't know exactly what was going on in the meeting. At least from the time he left the room. Harry had never told him. But it was supposed to be okay. In fact, he had to accept Harry's privacy and be satisfied with what was going on; that he was the only one who knew about it at that time and was sitting here waiting for him. Actually. Because of course it wasn't enough for Louis.

When the door opened, Louis got up immediately and went over to the two adults who were still talking. Louis immediately took Harry's hand, just as a reflex. He had immediately checked to see if Harry was okay, if he had reddened cheeks or eyes or if there were other signs that he had felt uncomfortable alone with this (nice but bad) woman. But Harry looked okay and he didn't rip his hand away directly, so Louis was beaming. Actually, Harry had just not noticed his hand; he was exhausted by the meeting and still distracted by the therapist. Because when he saw her look and then noticed why she looked at Louis like that, he frowned annoyed and shook Louis' hand off his. Louis looked at his feet and Harry now stretched out his hand to say goodbye to the woman.

"Please make another appointment right away", she said.  
"I hope we can find a standard appointment"  
Harry nodded, went forward and Louis wanted to follow him directly, but the therapist stopped him.  
"Louis?"  
The boy turned to her.  
"Yes?"  
"I don't want to push you, but I'm sure I'm actually doing you a favour", she started, and she could have just stopped. But she kept on talking, not knowing that it was too late anyway.  
"Harry has an addiction, that is, he has the desire to satisfy it. No matter how. And no matter who with, you understand? It has nothing to do with... love. So please be careful. For your own good"  
Louis frowned.  
"I don't know what you're talking about"  
The woman sighed.  
"I'm not stupid, you know. And I'm sure you're not either; perhaps ignorant and a little naive. Please don't underestimate an addiction like this. This is really something serious what we're dealing with here, okay?"  
Then she saw Harry looking at her from the counter, a confused look on his face. Probably wondering what else they had to talk about. Louis saw him too and immediately tense up. He didn't want Harry to be angry with him.  
"I told Harry he should be outside more often", the woman kept talking, and Louis looked at her again.  
"Maybe you could look at that and ask him more often if he does so. It would be best being outside with people with whom he has only a friendly relationship. Isn't that what you call a 'friend zone'? And I also said that he should party less. He goes somewhere almost every night"  
Louis nodded. Because Harry was actually out partying almost every night somewhere, he had friends without end with big houses and even bigger motivation to party.  
"Why should he be outside?", he asked anyway. The woman tapped herself on the temple.  
"The brain, Louis. Never stops talking. Especially when you're alone"  
Louis understood and nodded. Of course, he understood, after all it was the same with him.  
"And in your own home it's different to be alone with someone than it is to meet them in the city or wherever you are among people"  
Again, Louis just nodded.  
"Good, then you can pay some attention to it"  
"I am no longer a child, Elia", Harry suddenly stood there next to Louis, who winced.

What was he sneaking up on us like that for?

The therapist, who was apparently already called by Harry's first name, smiled at him with understanding.  
"It's always good to let someone else in on the things you should be aware of now, Harry. And Louis seems to like you enough to think about it and remind you when you don't. You seem to me to be the sort of person who likes to say that something is not of great importance when you don't feel like it, or when you don't enjoy it. After all, he got you here too"  
"It's not that he carried me here", grumbled Harry and Louis looked at him hurt. He had helped him after all and he wanted to help further and be included. Why didn't Harry just let him?  
"Poor you", she said, making fun of Harry. Harry looked at her somewhat disbelief and she laughed.  
"Come on. Accept some help and I'll see you in the next meeting"  
And maybe sometimes the solution was humour. Maybe it was a good thing she didn't take Harry's bitching about Louis and his childish behaviour seriously.

***

Harry's cell phone rang and Louis was taken from his thoughts of the day so far. He looked at the name before accepting.  
"Liam?"  
Instantly, Louis rolled his eyes. Such a dumbass. Again, Louis was so pissed at him for seriously pushing drugs on Harry. Which, it now occurred to him, he still had at home somewhere.  
"Where?", Harry asked now and Louis supported his head on his hand, could watch Harry forever because of his beauty. He was just thinking, he always got this line between his eyebrows. Louis the creep, yes, yes.  
"Yeah, think so. Who's there?"  
Louis didn't know what was going on, but he didn't want to talk right into it. But the next time Harry spoke, it was already over.  
"Yeah, sure I remember her. The one with the shoulder-length brown hair and... what are you talking about, she had blue eyes... of course I pay attention to those things, Liam. Unlike you, I look into the eyes of women", Harry chuckled and then looked straight into Louis' blue eyes. The smaller one looked at him hurt for a moment before he looked away. What was he thinking? That Harry and he would get together again and he would love Louis and only want him? That as soon as he started therapy, he would change and be nicer to Louis? That he'd listen to the therapist and resist a party?  
"Yes, I think I'll stop by. Yeah, yeah, see you later"  
With that, he hung up and ignored Louis' look. Of course he did. Instead, he put his phone in his pocket and got up.  
"Come on, I have to get ready"

Louis sighed, but followed him, of course. Harry didn't even turn to look at him, as it was natural for the older one that Louis would follow him and keep up with him so that he could walk beside him.  
"Why get ready?", Louis asked truthfully. Harry already looked perfect.  
"Because I just came from therapy and I want to freshen up and take a shower and-"  
"But you look perfect. And you smell perfect", said Louis, clutching Harry's muscular arm.  
"I could wear a potato sack and you would think so", Harry said emotionlessly, although it would flatter other people. Louis looked up at him smiling. Or at his jaw, since the taller one wasn't looking at him. But he was fine with that, Harry's facial contours were perfect.  
"Brown suits you so well", was his answer and Harry just nodded.  
"I told you so. In high heels-"  
"Would your long legs look even better"  
"Or in a dress"  
"You have the perfect proportion of hips and waist for it", Louis said happily, snuggling his face into Harry's side.  
"A brown potato sack-dress with high heels then", Harry said, not as amused by the conversation as Louis, who giggled.  
"Why have we parked so far away", Harry groaned then annoyed and walked faster, Louis trying to keep up with him with his shorter legs.  
"Because you were going to park in a disabled space until I stopped you. Be glad you still have a car and it hasn't been towed. You always park awful"  
"I have a disability. Why didn't Elia give me one of those parking tickets? Would've been more useful than all that talking bullshit"  
"Harry!"  
"You know what I mean, don't take me so serious", he said, ruffling Louis' hair, still without looking at him. He knew that this wasn't a loving gesture on his part, but rather a humiliating one. But he didn't care, after all it was Harry who did it.

"When are you going to go where you're going?", he asked when they arrived at the car.  
"Because actually, you'd probably have more time to stay outside for a while longer", he mumbled then and Harry sighed.  
"I've been outside so much today than I have in a long time"  
And with that he unlocked his car.  
"And besides, I'm bored of always following the rules, you know me. I'm not a little angel like you"  
Louis snorted while Harry smirked and opened his car door.  
"I'm not-"  
"Oh, yes, you are, in things like that", Harry rolled his eyes.  
"I must be afraid that you won't call Elia directly and tell her"  
"You're exaggerating", Louis answered somewhat hurt, since Harry again didn't take him seriously and accused him of something like that. Harry got in and slammed the door, then rolled down the window.  
"And besides, you shouldn't go to parties like that anymore!"  
"If you want me to drive you home, I'd get your fine ass next to me", Harry ignored him and Louis crossed his arms in front of his chest.  
"You know what? No"  
"What do you mean with 'no'?", Harry raised one eyebrow.  
"No. You've certainly got plenty of time to stay outside. If you can go to your stupid party, then later"  
Harry looked at him quietly for a moment.  
"Oh Louis", he sighed.  
"Small, silly, naive Louis"  
Louis was about to defend himself when he raised one hand.  
"Do you think you have any claim on me just because you know a little more about me now? I see what's going on here. Like you give a shit what Elia said. You hear the chance to do something with me somewhere and all you can think about is keeping me outside for a long time. Of course, 'because Elia said so' and 'it's the best for me'"  
"What are you talking about? Of course I'm doing this for you!"  
"Shut up, you just want to spend time alone with me. If Elia had told me to spend a lot of time inside, we would be sitting at my house, but the main thing is that you are with me. Then for once in your life you're happy, right?"

Louis no longer understood what was going on. Just because he didn't support Harry now that he wanted to go out and party and help him and show him how to be sensible?! He wasn't even trying!  
Harry chuckled.  
"And if she had said I should do a lot with my friends and party, you would have called Elia unprofessional and tried to stop me. Simply because I'm not told to do anything with you"  
"That's not true and you know it. I just want you to be happy", Louis said hurt and came closer, put his little hands on the car through the opened window, since it was at the bottom.  
"It's my 16th birthday and I'm here, I've been to the therapist with you, I've been outside with you because you should and I'm trying to help you in every way I can! Do you know how other people celebrate their 16th?! I want to help you because I love you! Unlike all the idiots and jerks you call your great friends"  
And just thinking how all his friends weren't there for Harry and how many people were certainly just taking advantage of him, Louis got angry.  
"It just so happens these people are my age and they don't drool every time they see me. Is very pleasant"  
"What's your problem with me now?!", Louis asked angrily, because why was he now the bad guy just because he loved him?! Love couldn't be wrong. At least that was his opinion.  
"That you think that as soon as you know something no one else knows, I love you now and have nothing with anyone else. I'm not a new man, Louis. And I'm not yours, and I never will be. I'm all mine, and you of all people should know best that I don't want to belong to anyone"

Ouch. That hit. Louis lowered his hands and Harry of course noticed the hurt reaction of the younger one.

"Naive, I told you. But walk home, I don't care", he said like the asshole he was inside before he started the engine.  
"Harry?"  
He looked at Louis questioningly but also annoyed.  
"If you don't want to change and you don't want to make an effort to be a better person... because that's something you have to work hard for and isn't solved by money or looks or kissing ass... Then why did you even tell me that and cried when you didn't seem to care what a selfish and ungrateful asshole you are?"

Louis said all this without thinking, but it was the truth and it came out of him calmly, his voice even barely trembled and he saw Harry swallowing. Simply because Louis had told the truth. He only confirmed this by simply looking straight ahead and driving off. Louis watched the car driving away. Harry was such a coward. No sooner he was faced reality he took off.

Louis headed for the bus stop. Luckily, he had some money with him.  
He just couldn't understand Harry. First, he was nice and told him in tears what was going on with him and then suddenly he was that asshole again, that showed him that he would never love him and that Louis meant nothing to him.

***

Yeah, call him a nerd, Whitney did so, too. Just because Louis did his homework on his birthday and called her on Skype because they had to prepare a presentation. And well, he missed Whitney. She wasn't thrilled when she heard that the two of them had to prepare a presentation for the beginning of the new school year, the beginning of the course level. But what could she do.

Louis didn't want to lie to her and had told her how he had slept at Harry's last night and they had had sex. She had told him she wouldn't be on the phone with him if he kept lying to her, because she had noticed that something had happened. So at least he had said something. But he had only told her about that and nothing else about him and Harry. Still she could not be happy for him, she only loathed Harry more now. She kept saying that Louis deserved better, and blah, blah, blah. But all Louis wanted was Harry.

And no, nothing was okay between the two of them even though Louis had told part of the truth. Whitney first thought about whether she'd say she'd just do the presentation herself and send it to Louis... but then she thought it was too juvenile. And she just wanted to talk about the presentation. But she couldn't help it, partly she was curious, partly she kept worrying about Louis when it came to Harry.

But they were actually talking about the lecture. Louis was writing something down when she groaned annoyed.  
"Louiis, I still can't believe you're home alone on your birthday and you're doing something for school"  
"As I said, we can do something in an hour", Louis answered, hoping for a commitment as it would be the first meeting in a long time. And he wanted to do something with her. Even though he knew that nothing was okay. They still hadn't talked about the action on her birthday. And Louis didn't know if that was good or bad. Probably bad.  
"You're crazy", was her answer.  
"It's not worth it for me. My parents are not as cool as yours. You know that"  
Louis sighed. So, they wouldn't see each other again until after the holidays at the beginning of the course level. Yes, they had had longer holidays than usual. Always got the level which would now begin with the preparation for school graduation. Louis didn't know why that was so. But hey, he had longer holidays.

"My parents aren't even here, Whitney. On my birthday. And you know they're not cool, they just don't care what I do"  
"Well, then mine are just annoying"  
"Perhaps. But my parents actually said they'd be back tonight. But I knew that they couldn't make it anyway. And then I got a call earlier. Yay"  
"I'm sorry... and..."  
She broke off and an uncomfortable silence developed. Louis was worried. Nothing was okay.  
"Never mind"

Then he looked at his pad again and checked his notes. His phone vibrated and he looked at it. Whitney saw his expression.  
"Who is it?"  
"Harry", he just said without thinking, fixated on the fact that Harry had texted him and unlocked the phone.  
"Great. Didn't you say he was at one of those parties with Liam dragging him?"  
"Yes. But why is he texting me?", he asked and opened the chat.  
"Louis", she said annoyed when she saw he was chewing on his lower lip. She suspected something terrible. Always with Harry anyway. The idiot had actually squeezed between their friendship and was taking advantage of Louis again. And this time Louis even knew... or didn't notice?! No, Whitney would hate him forever. Just for what he did. Of course, she knew Louis was also to blame, too. It was him she was mad at, too. And she would never look at him the same again. It hurt, but it was more anger.  
"What did he text you now?"  
Louis didn't answer and kept looking at the note.

Haz<3: I need you

He didn't quite get what he meant by it.

Did he text that because of our fight and that he needs me to support him? Is he texting this as some kind of apology? Or did he need me because something happened?!

"Louis!", Whitney said louder, because Louis wasn't listening to her again.  
"Nothing important"  
"Very funny. The only time that guy ever texts you is when he wants something. What did he text this time?"  
"That he needs me, Whitney", Louis couldn't help but smile when he said it out loud.  
"Louis", she sighed. For she was not wearing the rose-colored glasses that Louis had been walking around in for over a year. And she was sick of it. Of everything.  
"As if he meant that sweetly. In my opinion, the only thing the guy thinks of you is his own purpose: sex"  
Louis swallowed.

Oh

He looked at the news.

That's also one way of looking at it, of course.

He hadn't seen it that way, even though he knew about the sex addiction and there was Whitney, didn't know about it, but still thought maybe right?  
It made more sense than the other possibilities. Of course, he was gonna text Louis.

Harry was right. I really am so naive...

"I... have no idea"  
"Just text him 'Nope."  
"Never"  
"Yes, or that"  
"No, I didn't mean it that way"  
She laughed bitterly.  
"I know, Louis... Unfortunately"  
Louis sighed and texted Harry back a question mark.  
"The thing is, he... he's at a party, there's plenty of people he can shag, you know? Girls and boys"  
She shrugged. Because you could never see through Harry.  
"True. I don't know. But he's always doing shit anyway"  
"Yes...", Louis said softly. Then he blinked and put the device away to continue with the planning.  
"So how do we divide it up? I'd rather start with-"  
His phone vibrated and he looked at it immediately.  
"We don't want to be dependent, do we?", Whitney mumbled, but Louis ignored it.

Haz<3: Now

Louis: What do you mean?

Haz<3: I need you under me

The message stabbed Louis in the chest. He had still had a spark of hope, but once again he had been too naive. He would never have texted to him for any other reason. And he sat here worried about the older one, answered his phone directly when he texted him. Because he loved him. He thought about what Elia had said and frowned hurt.

"And?"  
"You were right..."  
"What an asshole! Louis, please finally get it"  
"I don't have any plans anyway..."  
"Louis... The guy's probably just drunk and horny!"  
"Then why is he texting me?"  
"Just ask him. I don't know, he's too dumb to understand"

Louis: Why are you texting me? You have enough people there

Haz<3: Stop with the jealousy shit

Louis: I don't even mean it that way. I don't even have time. But you have plenty there. Especially girls, I guess.

Haz<3: What are you doing?!

Louis snorted.  
"He asks what I'm doing, that I don't have time. As if I always have to make time for him or take time just for him"  
"Fucker", that was Whitney's only statement on the subject. What could she say? There was nothing she could do. She was so sick of it. Louis, Harry, their friendship. Louis wouldn't listen to her and had betrayed her, hurt her, abandoned her.

Louis: Homework, Skype, and school stuff

Haz<3: With whom

Louis hesitated, but then wrote his message in defiance.

Louis: Whitney. Do you need to know everything?!

Haz<3: Don't get sassy. Why are you doing schoolwork that can wait? And why her again? I thought she was mad at you for standing her up.

Louis: Why don't you just fuck somebody there?!

Louis didn't want to think about it. Because he didn't feel so bad either. After all... it had been Harry that he stood Whitney up for.  
Harry waited with his answer and Louis told Whitney annoyed their conversation. Well, except for the mention of her.  
"Honestly, Louis. You know what I think? He's in the mood for a boy and he only goes for girls because everyone thinks he's straight and he doesn't want to come out. Of course, he'll text you"  
Louis frowned. He'd never seen it like that before. She was right, really. Louis was the only boy Harry was having something with... at least as far as he knew.  
"But... but that means I'm enough and he doesn't want one of the thousand girls at the party and that he really wants me"

Critically, Whitney frowned. Was Louis just being naive, or did he really believe the things he was saying?  
"Louis... As I said, I think it's more likely that it's because he wants a boy. Who knows, he probably just had sex with some girl and it wasn't good"  
Louis looked at her angrily.  
"Don't say that!"  
Whitney raised her eyebrows.  
"Uhm, why not? I say whatever I want about that asshole. And be happy if the sex wasn't good"  
"With Harry, sex is always good"  
"Oh, God", Whitney sighed. She'd hang up in a few second. She had better things to do than this.

Haz<3: Okay, if you're gonna play it that way...

What the fuck does that mean?!

"He texted 'if you're gonna play it that way'"  
"Oh, great, congratulations. Now he wants to say it's your fault he's fucking ten girls tonight"  
Louis nodded slightly and noticed how desperation was brewing in him. Because even if Whitney was right somehow and Harry just wanted to make Louis feel guilty, he went for it. He didn't want him to do that!

Louis: No! I'm just confused as to why you're texting me of all people. Because you were upset earlier, and you told Liam on the phone that there's some girl that you remembered or something

Please don't be an ass

Haz<3: Yeah, she's hot

Of course.

Haz<3: But she's not that special... and I'm in the mood for you

Partly Louis didn't want to be the one he could text to and he would immediately drop everything for him... What did Louis think? It had been him for months anyway. Because he didn't want him to have anything with anyone else. Fuck it. Louis would give in anyway, he knew it, Whitney, Harry, everyone.

But he wanted him to tell him that he was special to Harry in some way. Even if it was just for sex... just that he was the one who gave him what he needed.

Louis: Why me, exactly?

It wasn't too much to ask, was it? Everyone would love to hear that.  
But once again, Louis thought too naive.

Haz<3: Yes or no, Louis

He sighed. But he didn't have to think much more. Because no matter what Harry would have texted now, Louis would have gone for it anyway.

Louis: Yeah, kay... where are you?

"Do you accept?", Whitney and Louis said silently.  
"I just did yes"  
This time it was she who remained silent.  
I don't have to tell you what I think is right", she said anyway. Because somehow she did care. Somehow.  
"I-I know..."  
Who knows, maybe Louis could just convince the older one to let it slide? God, he should just lock Harry in his room. How was this gonna go on if Louis always said yes? He wasn't really helping with the therapy... and he wouldn't listen to Elia. This sucked.  
Louis should have cancelled him and told him not to have sex. But he knew if he did, Harry would go after someone else anyway. So, it was either him or someone else. He had to say yes!  
Harry just had to stop going to parties like that and do a lot with his family, or normal close friends, as Elia had said.

Haz<3: Jimmy

Haz<3: Cousin of Liam

Louis knew who it was and where he lived. But it was 20 minutes by car from here, how could he get there? Was Harry stupid? And Louis knew he wasn't and knew how far away it was, but didn't give a shit how Louis would get there.

Louis: Isn't that on Portsmouth Road?

Haz<3: Bicycle?

He's kidding, right?

"What did he text you? You look like he just suggested a threesome with Camille"  
And that Whitney would really expect that from Harry (maybe he didn't want to ask if he hadn't already done so and got Louis to join in) she didn't mention once.  
Louis pulled a face just at the thought and Whitney had to chuckle.  
"No, it's not that disgusting. He wants me to ride my bike there, and it's a little... crazy"  
"Where to? I mean, yes, it's cold, but if it's just around the corner-"  
"Jimmy's. It's a 20-minute drive to get there by car"  
"Haha, you're kidding, right?! Louis, say you have a flat tire"  
Louis chuckled.  
"What's that about no drama?"  
"Just go ahead"  
"I will not lie to him"  
"Text it now! Are you fucking kidding me?! You're 16 years old and you've been it since today and you're supposed to ride your bike in the cold for 40 minutes just so he can have his undeserved sex with you?"  
"Okay, okay", mumbled Louis and immediately felt bad when he wrote.

Louis: Is currently being repaired

Haz<3: Is there anything you're getting done?

Haz<3: Take Lottie's

"He's not stupid, Whitney. He tells me to take Lottie's"  
"Whoa, no way! Then say... no idea... say you can't ride a bike back after you've had sex"  
"Whitney!"  
She had to laugh. Yeah, sex jokes were good in any situation.  
"Even though I don't think it's funny right now, but I had to, sorry"  
"Maybe he's just too drunk to drive"  
"Then let him pay you a taxi. I don't know"  
Louis sighed. Right, he could get a taxi. But at this hour it was very difficult and he hated to take the taxi alone. To be honest, he'd never done it before because he'd always chickened out. Seriously, that was also sick creepy. And in the old days, you weren't supposed to get into cars with strangers. He hated taxis. Bah.

Louis: How much did you drink?

Haz<3: Why now?

How snotty Harry is again, because he needs his sex and there is something that's not done immediately what his majesty demands, for Christ's sake.

Louis: You have a car

Haz<3: Jesus, too much. And I thought you weren't a baby.

Great

Harry knew that he didn't like it when he rubbed under his nose how young he actually still was and, unlike him, he was still a child who didn't need to be taken seriously.

Haz<3: You have enough cars, take one

Louis: Um Haz I am 16 years old, so I can start my driving licence now or I don't know, but even if I knew how to drive for some reason, one of my parents had to be with me in the car, because I'm not 18 years old

Haz<3: Am I dumb or what? I know you little bonsai tree. But it'd be a chance for you to not act like a pure angel, huh?

Okay, now Harry got crazy. Not only because of the suggestion to just take a car of his parents without a driving licence and start driving without any knowledge. Little bonsai tree?!

Louis: Are you crazy?!

Haz<3: Yeah, we already knew. But I'll also be in Briana in a few minutes if you don't hurry up and get here

Louis: So what if I really took a car... I don't know how to drive

Because for Harry, Louis really was thinking about doing it. It was unimaginable, because he might be able to do it after an eternity on an unused country road. But he knew no route that would allow him to do so. Just thinking about it showed his desperation and obedience to Harry.

Haz<3: Please, you stared at me often enough when I was driving

Louis: I wasn't paying attention to that; I was paying attention to you!

Louis: Why don't you just come here?

Haz<3: Louis

Louis sighed. He noticed how time was running out.

Louis: What...

Haz<3: Silly, I'm certainly not going to bother to drive to your place and then cover your mouth because your old folks are there. Or Lottie

He wants to hear me, Louis had to smile. Yes, he was happy about this. More than he should be.

Louis: My parents aren't home, and Lottie's at Ryan's and will sleep there

Now he didn't answer. Great, thanks.  
And Louis couldn't help being scared. Fucking jealousy. Fucking love.

Haz<3: Be there in 20 minutes

Perplexed, Louis looked at his phone and Whitney saw the look in his eyes.  
"What?"  
"He's coming here"  
"What?! How did you do that now? Or don't I want to know what your lure was?"  
He called Harry right away.  
"What are you calling him now?"  
"I told him I'm alone", he rolled his eyes.  
"But he said he was drunk. He's not supposed to drive now"  
"Maybe he only said that because he was too lazy"  
Louis shrugged and cursed when Harry didn't answer, of course.

Louis: You're drunk!

"Why did you text him this then?"  
"I didn't think if I texted him, he'd... I never think. Shit, he must have already left. Whitney, I gotta go! Shower, change-"  
"Oh, great"  
Louis looked at her apologetically.  
"And pick out nice underwear, or what"  
"I'm sorry. But hey, you told me to spend my birthday differently", he didn't deny her statement.  
"But also different than that. He doesn't deserve you"  
"See ya!"  
"Just watch out, Louis. And don't let this ox push you around too much"  
Louis had to laugh and they both hung up. Whitney's concern was justified, but Louis didn't see it.

Whitney looked at the screen. It may not have sounded or felt like that to Louis but for her this had just been a goodbye. She would keep her distance. Anyway, she had been too much excluded from Louis' life in the meantime to be able to have any effect at all and to talk into Louis' conscience.

***

Louis still felt the nervousness slightly when the bell rang. It maybe would never be completely gone. He looked at himself in the mirror, stroked his hair again, then looked at his arm. He hadn't had much time, he had only been able to spread some foundation and powder so that it was less red. The doorbell rang again and Louis couldn't help but smile at Harry's impatience.

He ran down the stairs, did another smell test as if his perfume had evaporated from the few steps before he opened the door. Louis couldn't even say hello, Harry's lips were already on his and his eyes widened in surprise when Harry pushed him backwards to enter and slam the door with his foot.

Louis wanted to say something and went back briefly with his head, then Harry lifted him up and he put his legs around the elder's waist.  
"Upstairs", Harry said against his lips and marched off already. Louis parted from Harry's lips and kicked a little with his legs.  
"Harry, wait, wait!"  
Harry looked at him, but kept going.  
"First of all, don't do that, like you're carrying me two flights of stairs . And secondly... I really think you should think about doing this. After all, it's a risk every time you have sex, you know... I-I don't want us to do it because you just went to see Elia today"  
Harry frowned.  
"Kim?... Ah, Eliaa", Harry remembered and then rolled his eyes. Louis laid his chin on Harry's shoulder, sighing sadly, looking over his shoulder behind the two of them. So Harry had had sex again after all. With a Kim. With a prick in his chest and a lump in his throat he clung his arms tighter around Harry's neck and tried not to cry.  
"Challenge accepted, by the way", Harry said as he began to climb the first few steps and Louis smiled a little. He didn't want to reach the top at all, just wanted to stay on Harry's arms forever and let him carry him. It felt so good to be in his arms. Sheltered and safe. But that would be over in a moment. Because of sex.

"Harry?", said the little one softly and got a "Hm?" back, which wasn't exactly inviting to have a tea talk.  
"I really don't want to", Louis quietly admitted.  
"You've often said that", Harry only said unimpressed, and Louis remained silent for a moment, allowing himself to be carried further up.  
"That was different. I didn't know what I was doing when I was involved. I feel bad if we do this now. I really don't want this"  
"Don't exaggerate", Harry now said annoyed. Because what was he driving here for?  
When he reached the top, Harry went straight into Louis' room, laid the smaller one on the bed and climbed over him.  
"Harry", Louis said softly as the taller one unbuttoned his own shirt. Not that Louis wasn't getting weak, because Harry was perfect. But he just wasn't allowed to. And Harry's sex addiction was a notorious reason for not wanting it.  
"Louis", Harry hissed and threw his shirt on the floor staring at him. Louis swallowed with the harsh sound.  
"Don't make me regret telling you this because you're making such a big deal out of it"  
Louis looked at him desperately.  
"But Elia-"  
"My goodness, all you talk about is her", Harry said annoyed, leaned down to Louis, put his legs around his waist and kissed his neck.  
"Forget all that for a moment"  
"Forget?!", Louis repeated stunned and Harry nodded at his shoulder.  
"Yeah"  
Louis sat up.  
"And that makes it better? By forgetting and pushing it further? Harry, at some point, you have to start to stop. You've started therapy now!"  
"It was just a first meeting"  
"How will this end? Are you gonna end up in rehab because you won't get help otherwise?"  
"Don't exaggerate"  
"For fuck's sake, I'lI stop exaggerating when you stop underplaying!"  
"Urgh!", Harry said angrily, rolled off Louis and ran his hand over his face upset.  
"Stop. Talking. I can't take it anymore!"  
"Then stop pretending nothing's wrong", Louis said sadly and was happy to distract Harry from his desire for sex apparently by this confrontation. Even if it meant making him angry, it was a start.

"I shouldn't have come here", Harry mumbled annoyed and stared at the ceiling.  
"Should've gone to somebody else"  
"What, why?"  
"They don't ask questions", Harry turned his head to Louis.  
"And they don't know"  
Louis was silent.  
"No, it's good that you're here. It's good that I know about it, Haz", he answered calmly and snuggled up against Harry's chest.  
"We'll get through this. No sex today"  
Harry groaned annoyed and kept silent for a moment.  
"Well, what are we gonna do instead?"  
Now Louis was giggling.  
"The things people do when they're not having sex. Watch telly, cuddle, talk..."  
"Yep, I'm out"  
Harry sat up, leaving a Louis behind him who sighed.  
"Come-", he said, sat up and looked at the back of Harry's head.  
"Yes, I'd love to come", Harry interrupted him upset and Louis rolled his eyes.  
"For once, let's spend an evening like I'd like to... because it's my birthday?"  
He said this hopefully and Harry was silent for a moment until he slowly turned to the younger one.  
"Are you crazy? I owe you absolutely nothing. And if you're planning a couples' evening here, get a boyfriend. You knew why I'd come here and ask if you had time. I'm going. And don't expect me to ask you again if you're free at any point. If you don't give me the sex I want, I'll just get it from someone else"  
With that he got up and left a hurt Louis on the bed. It has nothing to do with... love. So please be careful. For your own good. Just watch out, Louis. And don't let this ox push you around too much, the words of Elia and Whitney echoed in Louis' head.

But as quickly as they had come, he immediately repressed them again. He got up and went after Harry.  
"Harry, wait!"  
"Watch your film alone", he just said and kept walking down the stairs.  
"I didn't say what kind of film", Louis said, hoping for a change of mood on Harry's part. But the older one just kept on walking.  
"Cute try. Bye"  
Louis whimpered and ran after him down the stairs. He was already downstairs and Louis saw him at the door when he tried to jump down the last steps of the stairs, but because of his short legs he jumped too short and landed with his foot on the last step, twisted and fell.  
"Ow", he whimpered, and Harry looked startled by the sound behind him. He rolled his eyes when he saw Louis lying there; the way he looked at him.  
"Please don't go"  
And Harry didn't know if he was crying because Harry was leaving or because he fell.

"You're ridiculous, Louis. And too late"

With this he turned around, reached for the door handle again to open the door.

And Louis wanted to jump up and run after Harry. But his ankle hurt so badly, he probably couldn't walk. He was just crying, holding his aching ankle. And when he saw under blurred vision how swollen and blue and red it was already, it hurt even more and more tears ran from his eyes.

"Harry I think I", the door closed, "have to go to a hospital"

Louis stared at the door from which Harry had just left. He hadn't heard it anymore.

Or had ignored it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stay safe xx
> 
> ! If you have questions/remarks, don’t be scared to comment  
> I’m happy about every Kudos and comment <3  
> All the love xx  
> @runningwatermelon  
> (Twitter & Instagram: larrymelon28; Wattpad: runningwatermelon)


	20. ||18||

"Thanks", muttered Louis as he handed the taxi driver the money. The taxi driver looked at the boy and nodded, accepting the money.  
"Shouldn't you have company if you hurt yourself this much?"  
Louis couldn't help but get out and roll his eyes.  
"Sorry, my escort is a little late", he said, slamming the door before limping towards the hospital. His ankle was even worse now, it hurt so much. But he had needed money for a taxi, his phone and keys, so he had to limp up the two floors to his room. And he wouldn't have been going by taxi if it didn't look so bad and hurt so much.

Inside he went to the counter and was of course made to wait. Louis hissed painfully and wanted to sit down somewhere. A hand was placed on his hip and he was supported.  
"I can't watch any longer how you limp around like that"  
Louis looked up with big eyes when he realized it was Pete Harmon. He had been at Louis' school, graduated last year. Louis had never had much to do with him, but he knew him by sight. And he had changed over the year. A lot. He sure spent more time at the gym, hehad become broader.  
"I...Thank you", he stuttered as Pete helped him to one of the chairs and sat next to him.  
"No problem. Louis, right?"  
Louis looked at him in surprise.  
"You know my name?"  
"Apparently", Pete laughed, and Louis had to smile slightly when some people turned to them, who laughed so loudly in a hospital. Even at school, Pete always stood out with his special, loud laugh. But Louis had liked it. He had a very positive charisma and was good looking with his tanned skin, hazel eyes and dark brown hair.  
"I'm Pete"  
"I know", Louis said softly and blushed as Pete's eyes grew wider.  
"For real?"  
Then he cursed and looked away.  
"Um... is there a problem?"  
Pete looked back at him.  
"Uh, no, no. Funny story, actually"  
Louis looked at him, waiting for him to continue and then Pete noticed Louis' foot again. Quickly he stood up and took another free chair, which he then put down in front of Louis and immediately lifted Louis' leg to put the injured foot up.  
"How did this happen?", he asked as he sat down again and looked at the injured ankle.  
"Stairs", Louis muttered after he had thanked him and Pete nodded.  
"Oh, I'm sorry. And how did you get here?"  
"Taxi"  
Now Pete frowned.  
"Couldn't anyone drive you or pick you up?"  
Louis swallowed, then shrugged, shook his head.  
"It worked out anyway"  
"Well, are you 18?"  
Louis shook his head again.  
"Well, your parents will have to be there, I think. If they have to go to X-ray, they'll have to sign some stuff. Every time there's a shit like this, actually"  
Louis was silent. He didn't think of that.  
"Oh. Well, I'll call them right away"  
"Do this", nodded Pete.  
"Why are you here?"  
"Huh? Oh, I just came from the department of... for new...mothers...? I don't know the name of this compartment"  
Louis looked at him in surprise.  
"Oh, you... you're going to be a father?"  
"Ha ha, for God's sake, no! I'm about as straight as... I don't know. Just pretend I said something funny like people in books do. Why do they always have such a good line? Later when I'm lying in bed, I sure think of one perfect line that I could have said right now. No, my sister became a mother"  
Louis had to laugh. He didn't even know Pete was gay.  
"How great for your sister", he said, and Pete smiled.  
"Yes, I was with her all day. She gave birth this morning. A girl. They named her Naomi"  
"Naomi? What a cute name", Louis' eyes shone immediately and Pete smiled just as bright.  
"Yes, I love her already. I would love to have children someday"  
Louis sat up.  
"Yeah, kids are totally cute! Stressful, but cute"  
Pete laughed out loud again, apparently used to the looks, but didn't care. Then they both fell silent and Louis was about to take out his phone when Pete spoke to him again.  
"You're in 11th grade now, right?"  
He nodded in surprise that he knew such a thing and Pete did the same thing, still looking at him. Then at some point he shook his head with a smile and Louis looked at him questioningly.  
"How come you knew my name now? I'm not really a celebrity at our school, so..."  
"For me you were when I was in school", Pete admitted and laughed.  
"What?"  
He nodded.  
"I had a crush on you back then. At some point", he frowned thoughtfully.  
"I think it started before I graduated high school. Ha ha, I thought you were totally cute"  
Louis blushed and Pete had to laugh.  
"Never had the balls to talk to you. Now that I see you, I regret it. That's the unfair world then"  
Louis became even redder, looked at his hands, which were playing nervously with each other.  
"Are you serious?"  
Pete nodded and Louis looked at him.  
"Why?"  
"What 'why'? Why I was into you, or why I'm into men? Whatever you mean, I can't answer both, because I can't control it"  
Louis smiled.  
"For the first time I paid attention to you, you dropped a fruit yoghurt cup at the school party and everything was full of it"  
Louis got redder and Pete laughed.  
"And then I noticed you more often when I had the chance. And whenever anything clumsy happened to you, I was on the verge of going up to you and talk to you"  
Louis had to laugh slightly.  
"You should have done it"  
Pete got serious.  
"What?"  
Louis nodded, shrugging.  
"You are... would you have done anything with me?"  
"Well, a year ago I knew I was gay, but-"  
"You're gay? Not even bi? And you knew it then?! I hate me"  
Louis had to laugh.  
"Yes, indeed"  
"That means, if I had spoken to you and everything had turned out the way I wanted, we could be together now?"  
Louis hesitated. He wondered what the world would be like then. Would Louis still be in love with Harry? Would he have been in love with Pete and only thought of Harry as a friend of his sister? Or would he have left Pete when his feelings for Harry grew and hurt Pete by doing so? It was probably better the way it was. He thought.

Because if Pete had talked to him then, his life might have been very different. Happy. And with a future.

"Yeah, maybe", he said, and Pete didn't say anything first.  
"Well", he said, and then he laughed with Louis.  
"I can't change it. I must remember never to make a mistake like that again"  
"It's not that horrible", Louis laughed and Pete looked at him with a smile.  
"No, but it could have been nicer. You're still as cute as you were a year ago. And this is the longest conversation we ever had, younger me would be proud of me"  
"I can't believe this right now... That someone like you had a crush on me back then"  
Pete smiled touched.  
"How could I not?"  
Louis looked away in flattery.  
"Thank you..."  
Pete was about to say something, when he got a call from his mother. He sighed, got up and looked down at Louis with a sad expression.  
"Call your parents. And if no one can drive you back, wait for me here. If no one can drive you, I'll come back here. My mother probably wants me to go and give her another report, she had to leave this afternoon"  
Louis looked at him in disbelief.  
"Pete-"  
"Please", Pete crouched in front of him.  
"I want to know you'll come home safe and comfortable. Otherwise I won't sleep well tonight. And maybe by then I'll have come up with a good line on how straight I am"  
Louis laughed and Pete smiled. He wanted to leave, but then he remembered something.  
"And Louis? I'd regret it for the rest of my life, and when I run into you by accident, I have to take advantage of that... can I have your number?"

Louis smiled. And he did.

***

Harry grabbed the doorknob and opened the door.  
"Wait!"  
He rolled his eyes, then looked back at Tiffany.  
"Can we meet again?"  
The brunette put her hand on Harry's chest, her gaze also there. And yes yes, perhaps he preferred brown-haired people.  
"You know I'm not from here and I live-"  
"I know... will you give me your number anyway, Mike?"  
Harry had to laugh slightly. Just because she was that naive.  
But he did.

Unfortunately, he switched a number. What a shame.

***

Harry was frustrated. Sexually.  
In a bad mood, he sipped his beer.  
"Harry man, where have you been?!", a loud Liam came to him with another guy and Harry stepped away from him as he screamed right in his face, not telling him that he had just left to go to Louis' place and then meet some girl in a bar.  
"That's Nate", he introduced his mate without waiting for Harry's answer, which was better anyway.  
"I haven't had a chance to introduce him to you yet, he's been at our school recently, you might have seen him before. Nate, this is Harry"  
"Ah! You're the Harry Louis Tomlinson has a crush on?"  
Harry groaned annoyed. There was definitely too much talking about him going on. He couldn't understand why. What was so interesting about himself?  
"I just love how so many people respect Louis' privacy"  
Nate and Liam laughed out loud.  
"Don't mind him, he's always such a sweet cupcake", Liam said, looking at Harry with a grin as Harry raised one eyebrow. Because he definitely was not. And he was in a too bad mood to be completely respectful.  
"Just because I don't scream any secrets through the world?"  
"Somebody's telling everybody around here", Nate defended Liam.  
"So Liam's not guilty here"  
Liam nodded.  
"Yeah, he's right"  
Now Harry frowned.

Who else tells everyone about it then?

"Who told you?", he asked Nate, who was staring at the wall, and Harry hold back a sigh. With the level of alcohol they were showing here, could it work?  
"I think nobody", Nate said, and Harry was about to ask him how in God's name he should else know, when he kept talking, looked at Liam.  
"Wasn't that posted somewhere?"  
Harry's face changed and Liam looked at him in shock.  
"What? I don't know anything about that, man!"  
Nate shrugged and Harry immediately pulled out his phone.  
"Where?"  
"Facebook"

Thank God! Nobody uses that anymore

Harry didn't even have the app for that on his phone. It was still bad, but it was better than on-  
"Stop. Nah, was Twitter"

Twitter? Fuck!

Harry immediately opened the app and scrolled to 'News'. And indeed, the first thing that was suggested to him was a post that was popular in his neighbourhood:

Breaking News: Harry Styles is not only girl crush no. 1

-

When even boys can't resist Styles' charms

-

Little quiz question for all students during the holidays: Will Louis Tomlinson quit school when Harry Styles graduates?!

-> Link for voting see below

What a crap. It was on the page of the school paper. I'm sure almost everyone at their school had read it, and if they hadn't, they were told. Who had been told? And how? Who had access to the Twitter account on the school paper?!  
Harry looked at Liam.  
"On the bloody Twitter account of the school paper?! "  
Liam drew in the air sharply and looked at the post, had to laugh slightly.  
"What the fuck. How stupid is that written? I've told Camille so many times to improve her team.

Camille! That bitch

Harry's jaw tightened immediately and he tried not to say any swear words. He thought them.  
"Excuse me", he just said, immediately looking for the attention-seeking, selfish, annoying bitch.

***

As soon as he stood next to her, she smiled and clung to him.  
"There he is", she said, turning him to a group of girls he had never seen before. And where did all these people come from? Harry only now noticed how many people were here, for Liam had said that he had invited a few people. The 'few' people had probably all brought a 'few' more people.  
"This is Harry"  
The five girls seemed to remember his name and looked at him with interest. He had to hold himself back a lot to not roll his eyes. It was very difficult for him to pull himself together at the moment.  
"Hi", he smiled charmingly, showing a little dimple before turning to Camille. Normally, he would have acted flattered and asked why Camille was talking about him, but he didn't have time for that. And no nerve.  
"Can I talk to you for a second, Camille?"  
She smiled.  
"Always, Harry", she sing sang, feeling great, of course, when she ditched her five friends because Harry wanted to be alone with her.  
"Put that down immediately", Harry said as soon as they were standing in an empty corner. Camille looked at Harry's phone, which he held out to her and had to laugh.  
"That's a good one, eh?"  
"What is this?!"  
"Please", Taylor put his hands on her hips, and Harry couldn't stand girls being bitchy like that. Who did they think they were, thinking they could act like that in front of him? If they wanted then they should do it; the bad thing was that they thought they could impress Harry. It only annoyed him.  
"I knew he had a crush on you"  
"Huh?"  
Cause she was probably the first one who seemed to notice. And Camille really wasn't the smartest.  
"So please. When he saw you in the bar with Vanessa, he was about to cry. Vanessa told me that... and he hates me. I can tell. It must be hard for him seeing us together. And he won't get anything from you", she said, stroking his biceps.

My goodness, she's got some kind of imagination

"I don't care, please put that down now"  
He had even put out a please.  
"Why? Is he so important to you?"  
Harry had never felt the want to hit a woman so hard.  
"That's not the point. You know me. I don't want feelings to get hurt. Besides, the tweet's pretty... I don't know. It objectifies me a little, don't you think? It's like I'm an object... and the whole charming thing... maybe that's meant to be nice, but I don't want that kind of thing written about me, Camille"  
"Ay, you're so cute, Harry", Camille said, clinging to him again.  
"I didn't mean to hurt you. It's just a fact that everyone is addicted to you, thought you knew that. Anyway... all right, I'll put it down. But for you and not for Lewis"  
"Thank you", Harry nodded, and Camille did so too, mustered him briefly.  
"Is there anything... else?"  
Harry smiled sweetly, ignoring Camille's allusion and played dumb.  
"No, everything's fine. Please remember to delete the tweet now"  
And with that he quickly went back to the kitchen. My goodness, that woman was exhausting.

***

"So?"  
Liam and Nate were still standing at the bar.  
"She's putting it down"  
Liam laughed.  
"Of course she does, if you say so"  
"How do you manage to get all the women here talking about you? And moreover talk good about you then", Nate asked and before Harry could answer to the usual question, he went on.  
"Stop. Not only women, but men as well"  
"Naaate", Liam bellowed, but Harry didn't think it was that funny.  
"My goodness", he sighed, taking a hearty sip of his beer, which he had previously put down.  
"Well, but seriously", Nate said.  
"Do you have a cobra in your pants or why is everyone who talks to you for five minutes drooling all over you?"  
"Maybe it's because I don't make comments like you do", Harry sighed and Liam had to laugh.  
"And by the way, you just came out of the closet officially"  
Liam laughed even louder and Nate himself had to laugh too.  
"Another outing? It's only been a few hours since the last one!"  
Harry rolled his eyes and Liam became more serious.  
"Does it really bother you that much?"  
Harry looked at him questioningly.  
"What? It doesn't bother me, I... I'm just sorry, I'm to blame for all this. And I'm not homophobic, so it doesn't matter if a woman or a man likes me. No matter what gender, I would never want to hurt anyone and I'm honest"  
"What're you?", Nate nodded to him, referring to his sexuality, and Liam whistled amusingly.  
"Now I'm really curious"  
Harry raised one eyebrow.  
"What do you mean?", he asked and immediately felt the need for alcohol. So he took his bottle and brought it to his mouth.  
"He's straight, but I think every man would become a bit bisexual if Louis Tomlinson was kneeling in front of you begging for your cock"  
Harry choked and coughed, Liam smirked and Nate laughed.  
"The Fuck, Liam do I need to know something there?!"  
"Seriously, Louis is hot. 'S all I'm sayin'", Liam raised his hands defensively and Harry calmed down. At least as far as his cough was concerned.  
"Please what?", he asked, and Liam looked at him.  
"What?"  
"Since when do you find Louis hot?"  
Liam shrugged.  
"Never noticed. But since I found out he likes dick-"  
"You immediately do so, too?", Nate laughed and Harry just hated this conversation. How did this happen?!  
"Nah, but bums. And Louis' ass is..." Liam said, forming two bowls with his hands.  
"You pay attention to his ass?"  
Liam looked at Harry, stopped his movement.  
"At yours too, of course, don't worry"  
"Ha ha ha, Liam stop drinking Bacardi, it makes you bi!", Nate laughed his ass off and Liam grinned, then became serious again.  
"No, seriously. You should see Louis"  
"Is he here today?"  
And Harry frowned at Nate's motivation for seeing Louis.  
"No", he just said.  
"Too bad. Sounds interesting, though. I'd like to see him too"  
"Well, I really have to say", Liam said.  
"If I were to sleep with a man..."  
"Even before Harry?!"  
They both laughed and Harry rolled his eyes. He was surrounded by idiots. And why did they talk about Louis' ass if he had wanted it earlier but didn't get it? Well, not just before, now he still wanted it. He had texted him because he wanted a boy and what did he get? A naive Tiffany, who had probably already texted the number he gave her ten times today.  
"Louis would be more my type", Liam laughed and Nate looked at him amused.  
"Describe him"  
"Brown hair, blue eyes, small nose, rather small overall, but an ass"  
"His ass seems to be great, the way you rave about it"  
Liam laughed and showed how tall Louis was about.  
"He's about this tall"  
"Cute"  
Liam nodded.  
"He's cute, indeed. Really shy. And God, he's so innocent. Guys, I don't know what's going on right now, but I want to deflower him"  
Harry had to smirk. Innocent? Deflowering? That he didn't laugh.  
"What are you smirking about? Do you like the idea as well?", Nate asked when he saw it, and there went Harry's grin.  
"No, I was thinking about how drunk Liam is"  
"I'm not that smashed. Seriously, I've never felt the need to fuck a man. And Louis is perfect for that-"  
"And too young for you", Harry finished his sentence, and Nate looked at him questioningly.  
"How old is he?"  
"16 today"  
"Actually, it's been a day. It's after twelve", Liam grinned.  
"And he's into older ones, as you can see"  
"But he seems to like people like Harry and not people like you", Nate laughed and Liam shrugged.  
"Oh, to cheer him up..."  
"You do realise that's your friend's brother?"  
"Is that why you haven't fucked him yet?", was Liam's answer to Harry's question.  
"Firstly, I don't fuck people, I sleep with them", Harry said, almost laughing at himself; Liam rolled his eyes.  
"And secondly, I would never take advantage of his love for me", again he almost laughed.  
"And thirdly, I have no desire to sleep with him", he could really be in a comedy here. Harry felt sick. He was disgusting.  
"Sure on that last point?", Liam ignored Harry's moralizing speech.  
"I mean, you guys get along really well and he likes you a lot and looks and has a body like that and-"  
"Is still a boy", Nate laughed and Liam rolled his eyes.  
"Let my bisexual side speak, you have no rights right now. Hole is hole", Liam said.  
"Oh God", Nate laughed stunned.  
"But if you don't want him, I can have him", Liam ignored Nate's laughter.  
"Wow, thank God we're not sexist", said Harry.  
"And treat people like objects that can be owned"  
"I bet Louis is into it"  
"To be owned?", Nate laughed visibly amused by Liam's interesting analysis of Louis Tomlinson.  
"I can be his sugar daddy. Buy him expensive clothes and stuff"  
"Louis is rich, Liam. He can buy anything he wants", Harry said unimpressed and Liam cursed.  
"So either you must rob his family and make him poor", Nate said.  
"Or I'll give him something he can't buy with money", Liam smirked.  
"Love, or what"  
Liam rolled his eyes.  
"No, I don't know. I noticed that sex can be bought"  
"Well, Louis doesn't seem to me to be the type that-"  
"I bet he has a collection of dildos", Liam interrupted Nate and Harry looked at him with a mixture of shock and confusion.  
"Excuse me, Liam. What's going on with you?", he asked, knowing full well about Louis' drawer. He knew everything about Louis.  
"Or do you think he's so innocent he doesn't have something like that?", Liam asked him thoughtfully, then nodded.  
"Yeah, you're right. He can't have anything like that. I bet he's never used one of these before. Maybe he never masturbated either"  
"And maybe his sex life is his business", Nate said sensibly.  
"What sex life? That boy is so innocent. It hurts my soul. So much potential not being used"  
"And so much ass that's not being used", Nate grinned and Liam nodded laughing.  
"Yeah, I've decided what my sexuality is: I'm straight, but I want to deflower Louis Tomlinson"  
"No can do", slipped out of Harry's mouth. He didn't really want to say it out loud. Shit!  
"Anything is possible", Liam grinned, thinking Harry was saying that about the fact that Liam was straight but wanted to sleep with a boy.  
"Oh God," Harry said and got up to piss off. He'd definitely had enough. And thanks to Liam and that Nate, he now wanted Louis even more. He would never crawl back to him like someone who was needy... even though Louis knew he did need it that much.

***

* A few days later *

To say Louis was exaggerating is itself exaggerating. He was just shocked... after all, he had seen in his sister's snapchat story how she filmed a moving van and you could briefly see the Styles' house. And so it was natural that he immediately rode to that house, right?! And okay, yes... he shouldn't have ride so fast, because his foot had almost healed in the meantime, but he should have been spared.

Panting he got off his bike and Louis saw Harry talking to a man and shaking his hand.  
"Lottie?", Louis immediately went to his sister, who was still standing at the entrance of the driveway, looking at her phone. She turned around, confused.  
"Louis? What the hell are you doing here?!"  
Okay, she was still mad. But if she was pissed at Harry, then why was she here?  
"What's going on here? And why are you here?"  
"The question is what are you doing here!"  
"I saw it on your snapchat, was going to Niall's anyway, and I took a detour"  
"Ah, yeah, sure", she said, didn't really seem to believe him.  
"I wanted to talk to Harry. And then I helped him here"  
"On what? What's going on?"  
Louis ignored the fact that Lottie was mad at him and didn't want to talk to him, but had gone to Harry's to talk to him and that everything was fine between them. She really put Harry before her brother.  
"Harry moves out", Lottie shrugged, and Louis' heart broke. He did what? And why hadn't he said anything?!  
"What... Where?", Louis just brought out quietly.  
"To America, you know", Lottie rolled her eyes.  
"Lottie", Louis said serious, because it wasn't funny. What was going on here?!  
Harry turned his head and saw him. He sighed annoyed and set off to join the siblings.

Just don't freak out

"Louis"  
Louis immediately looked at him, the usual look with the big admiring eyes.  
"Harry, what-"  
"What are you doing here?"  
Lottie rolled her eyes and folded her arms across her chest.  
"I-I... I wanted to go to Niall's, but-"  
"Don't lie!", interrupted Lottie him annoyed.  
"You saw my snap and you came straight here. This is really creepy, Louis. Do you know that?!"  
Louis looked at her hurt, because of the tone in her voice.  
"Hey", Harry said calmly, laying one hand on the blonde's tailbone so that she calmed down immediately. It really was embarrassing how she was talking loudly while some people were around.  
"I'll take care of this"  
Lottie sighed, but he gave her a knowing look and she nodded.  
"All right", she murmured.  
"And don't post that on Snapchat unless you want that to happen", he added, knowing damn well that Lottie only had wanted to show everyone that she was with Harry and helped him.  
She rolled her eyes and left them alone.

As soon as Lottie was in the house, Harry grabbed Louis by the forearm and pulled him out of the way so that the men could continue carrying boxes in the moving van.  
"What the fuck do you think you're doing?!", he hissed, and when he let go, Louis clung desperately to Harry's shirt.  
"What the hell is going on? Why are you moving out?! Where are you moving? Why don't you say something?! How can you do this to me?!"  
"My God", Harry said, annoyed, and shoved Louis' hands roughly away.  
"I do what I want and don't have to tell you anything. Scary enough that you just came here, what's that about? I'm still pissed off"  
"Harry-"  
"Urgh, stop that now!", Harry said annoyed and Louis let his hands off Harry this time by himself.  
"I'm only moving a few blocks away. Calm down"  
Louis exhaled in relief, then immediately clung to Harry.  
"I thought you were leaving me alone and going far away. Somewhere I couldn't just get to"  
"The way you're acting right now, I wish I had", Harry rolled his eyes and pushed Louis away. But Louis ignored all this and looked up at him.  
"I love you"  
"Fine"  
Louis had to smile because he hadn't seen Harry for so long, last time a few days ago on his birthday. And he had the feeling his hair had become even more beautiful, his eyes even more radiant, his lips even softer and his body even more incredible.  
"You're so breathtaking"  
"When you're done, you can go. I have a move to plan here", Harry sighed and Louis reached for his hand in fear he would leave.  
"How are you?"  
Harry sighed.  
"Good, because I soon have my own house"  
Louis smiled, because of course he was happy for his dream man.  
"How come you found this so suddenly?"  
"With money anything's possible, and now stop talking to me as if we were friends", Harry said sternly, but Louis didn't listen to him. He was much too happy to hear Harry's voice again.  
"And when were you last with Elia?"  
Bad question, Harry seemed to be in a bad mood anyway.  
"Is none of your business"  
"Please! You know that I have to check if-"  
"If what? That's my business. You don't control shit in my life! Learn to control yourself first"  
"I can't when it comes to you", Louis said truthfully, fiddling with the hem of Harry's shirt, just had to touch something of Harry.  
"I can tell and it gets on my nerves"  
"I love you anyway", Louis said softly, watching his hands.  
"And you're still wonderful, never forget that. No matter what you do"  
"Just write me a little love letter, then you can tell me all the trash. Isn't that what people your age do?"  
Harry's words began to hit him, and joy couldn't take all the words of the older boy away. He looked up hurt.  
"Harry, I'm sorry. But I... What should I have done? I know about your problem, and I couldn't just sleep with you knowing it's not good for you"  
"Just shut up", Harry said calmly, because he didn't even know the answer himself. And Louis just looked down again.  
"Do you promise you'll never move away from me?", he then spoke softly. Because he had just seen again that he couldn't do it. He couldn't live without Harry. When he thought Harry would move away, all he could think of was begging him not to do so, failing, and then killing himself.  
"No", Harry said.  
"And it's your fault if I hurt you by saying it. You're always asking questions like that, knowing what the answer is"

Yeah, it was Louis' fault. Harry was right, of course.

He nodded slightly and then rubbed one hand over his left eye, which had decided to release a tear.  
"I don't want...", he sniffed and Harry sighed annoyed.  
"What?", he asked, although he didn't care. Why did he even talk to him anymore?  
"You to leave me"  
"My God, stop complaining and crying. I'm right here, aren't I?"  
Louis had to smile at the last sentence. He was here. With Louis.  
"Will you tell me?"  
Harry raised an eyebrow and Louis looked up at him.  
"Your new address"  
Because seriously, he was afraid that he would not know where the taller one would now live. Harry was going to answer, but then he kept quiet.  
"Depends", he just said, then walked past the baffled boy, couldn't help but smirk as he walked back to the moving van.  
"Depends?", Louis thought aloud, then saw Lottie's gaze on himself and made his way to his bicycle. Harry wanted him to go, so he would go. He would have liked to say goodbye, but what could he do?  
But just as he was about to go home, he got an idea. He rode to the next intersection and stopped there.

***

My goodness. Even though Harry didn't have to do anything, he was exhausted. He dropped on his new bed. It was even bigger and softer than his old one, and he loved it already. At first he had wanted a waterbed, but then he thought it would get on his nerves one day.

His own house. Harry couldn't wait to have a housewarming party. He had to grin. Oh yeah, that was definitely the best thing about having your own house: freedom, plenty of space and 24/7 an empty house.

It wasn't hard to get the house, the old owners liked him very much and he had been in contact with them for ages about the house. In the end, moving in earlier than planned worked out and he was able to keep a lot of furniture. He knew that it was also a bit unnecessary, after all he would graduate from high school soon and then maybe move somewhere else, but why not? Harry loved luxury. And he had wanted the house; he always got what he wanted. And of course, his mother had been a bit surprised, the conversion of the guest room had been for nothing, but whatever, she didn't say much about it.

And then Lottie had also wanted to talk to him and wasn't angry with him, wouldn't say anything to anyone. My goodness. Everything was going well right now.

He sat up and texted Liam. He would never plan the party himself and invite people. After all, 'he didn't want to brag and make a big drama about his new house' blabla. No, Liam would get the idea of the party and persuade him to throw one.

***

In the evening he already got a call from the brown-haired one.  
"Shit mate, like you're not gonna have a fat party your first night in your own house?!"  
"I have to unpack first, Liam. And besides, I wanted to invite a few people some day"  
"A few? Oh, no, I'm not talking about your close friends. Harry, this is gonna be awesome! Fuck all parties, when their parents aren't home, yours will be the best!"  
"Don't exaggerate", Harry said, didn't even have to grin. The dream of really being who he said he was, was too big.  
"Why do I hear the key? Weren't you at home?! Dude, if I had my own place-"  
"Then you'd have to shop some things, too", Harry interrupted him and closed the front door. Actually, he had already done so; he had been at his meeting with Elia.  
"Anyway. In the next few days, I expect... wait, that's not going to work anyway. I'm planning on it. Is tomorrow good for you?"  
Harry pretended to sigh.  
"I'll text you again"  
"All right, keep your ears and everything else stiff"  
"I don't have to tell you, Liam"  
Liam laughed and they both hung up. Harry looked at the clock and saw that his mother would be coming around in half an hour. So he had time to take a shower before that.

***

Anne loved her son. That's why she sometimes didn't notice when she was exaggerating. She had brought him a whole package full of the basic things, plus food and drinks and... bedsheets?  
At Harry's questioning gaze as he held the sheets in his hand, she laughed and stroked his cheek.  
"You're gonna need bigger sheets now, honey. I don't want you to forget that and then have to use the same bedding for months. Although I know you're decent, don't think wrong now", she laughed at the end and Harry rolled his eyes.  
"Thanks Mum, but this is totally unnecessary"  
"Anything for you", said Anne, then straightened Harry's hair.  
"Aren't you too cold with that wet hair?"  
"And if I was, that would be my business" Harry said, but he had to smile because he loved his mother so much. She returned his smile, and after Harry had to give her a tour of the house again, show her if he had put everything away and had the most important things and didn't need anything else, she left. So while Harry laid down on his bed upstairs and looked at his phone, Anne opened the front door and wanted to go out.  
"Oh!"  
She laughed, because she was a little startled. Louis lowered his hand with reddened cheeks, which had actually just wanted to ring.  
"Harry's upstairs, Louis. Lottie already gave you the address, hm?"  
"Um, yes", Louis nodded, smiling slightly.  
"Boys' problems. You know me"  
She sighed, ran her hands through his hair before making room for him, said goodbye and then stepped out of the house. Louis stopped briefly at the front door, playing nervously with his hands. The house was nice, it was smaller than the Styles' one. Uncertain where Harry was and also where there was anything at all in the house that was unknown to him, he looked around. But then he heard Harry's voice upstairs. God, he hoped Harry didn't have more visitors.  
But when he heard that Harry only gave answers, he was sure he was talking with someone on his phone.

Quietly Louis walked upstairs and stopped in front of the room whose door was open so that Harry could see him lying on the bed on his back.  
"Yes, I didn't want to make a drama out of it... did he tell you that immediatly? God Liam exaggerates... yeah, maybe one day, Liam's not gonna let go"  
Harry looked absently at the door, then jumped when he saw Louis standing there.  
"Fuck", he hissed half mad, half still terrified.  
"Camille, I have to go... No, nothing happened, don't worry... Yeah, bye"  
He hung up and supported himself on his elbow. Louis pressed his lips together and Harry raised an eyebrow.  
"How the hell do you know where I live? And how did you get in?"  
"Anne let me in"  
Harry rolled his eyes. Another good thing about living alone: He alone decides who goes in and out. Harry loved control.  
"A-and I... So, Lottie gave me the address-"  
"Try again"  
Louis looked at him somewhat intimidated and questioning; Harry remained serious.  
"Try again not to lie to me before I throw you out"  
Louis' eyes widened.  
"I followed the moving van this afternoon"  
Harry sat up.  
"Sorry, what? What's wrong with you?!"  
Louis frowned a little. What was so bad now? He didn't understand what the problem was, after all, all he had wanted to know was where Harry lived now. He hadn't broken in at night to watch him sleep. Although Harry looked incredibly beautiful asleep. Angel like even.  
"I just wanted to know where you live... I-I was afraid you wouldn't tell me 'cause you were mad at me. And I'm sorry... I don't want you to be mad at me. I can't take it. I love you and I would do anything for you, Harry!"  
Harry stayed silent, then sighed.  
"You're so ridiculous"  
Louis looked at his hands, but when Harry said nothing more, he looked up again. His eyes met Harry's.  
"Come here", Harry then said with a slight smirk and Louis had to smile straight away, lost no time but went straight to the bed, threw himself on Harry and kissed him. Harry was surprised, but let him. Louis' legs surrounded his hip and his arms were tightly wrapped around Harry's neck.  
"I said come here and not jump at me", Harry mumbled and Louis buried his face in the older boy's neck.  
"I'm sorry", he said, inhaling Harry's scent that dulled his senses.  
"I'm so in love with you"  
"Shut up", Harry said, with only one thing on his mind, he let himself fall back, dragging Louis with him. Louis kept his mouth shut; did so gladly when his lips were allowed to rest on Harry's. He sighed contentedly, then let go of the taller one, who opened his eyes.  
"Do you still have the handcuffs?", Louis asked, blushing, and Harry's eyes darkened.  
"Fuck, baby", he said, and Louis bit his lower lip as Harry pulled the items familiar to him out of one of the night table drawers. But before he could do anything, Louis kissed him, moved his hips against Harry's so that Harry moaned. So while Harry was distracted, Louis took off his handcuffs and slid up to secure one side of the two handcuffs to the bed. Harry grabbed Louis' hips and kissed Louis' belly down, snapped the boxers' waistband against his skin and Louis had to moan.  
"Shit, I haven't had you for so long", Harry growled against his skin and strengthened his grip on Louis' soft hips.  
"Mhm", Louis just said, closed his eyes briefly to gather himself before opening them and slipping back onto Harry's hip. He leaned back down to kiss him again.  
"I wanted to be the person you inaugurate the bed with", he admitted, and Harry hummed against his lips with a knowing grin, letting his hands go to Louis' bum to deepen his movements.  
"Now you'll have an empty house every day", Louis said, grabbed his hands as Harry moaned, and laid them carefully beside Harry's head. Both breathed quickly and Harry had been so caught up in his foggy world that he only noticed Louis' plan when he wanted to put his hands back on the body above him to turn them around. He opened his eyes and looked at his hands. Shocked, he looked at Louis, tore at the bedstead to which his hands were chained.  
"Louis", he growled angrily, tearing harder, so that it must have hurt.

***

* a few hours earlier *

"I'm not sure, Louis", Elia replied on the other side of the line.  
"Actually, I'm not allowed to talk about my patients-"  
"You don't have to talk about the conversations! Please just say that he's still going to you and it will get better"  
Elia sighed, yielded.  
"Well, he cancelled the other day. But he's about to have another one with me today. And I don't know if it really gets better, it's hard to say, Louis. And it doesn't happen that fast. It's always different. And I have a feeling with Harry, it's gonna take a long time"  
Louis was silent, chewed on his lip. He'd been reading, but he couldn't get Harry out of his head. He had followed the moving van to see where he lived and then gone home. But Harry had not given him an answer to his question when he had last been with Elia. Then he had found Elias' number on the Internet and called her. He didn't find it scary, what was wrong about it?

"Okay... and do you have any idea what to do?"  
She sighed.  
"Louis..."  
"I know, but... I just need to know what you've found out so far!"  
"I don't know him well enough. Harry is very stubborn, and though he doesn't seem very confident, he seems to be confident about his stubbornness in some way. He doesn't like to be told what to do, likes to control the conversation himself or sets the tone and always wants to be in control. Such patients are more difficult to get to talk"  
In the end, Louis didn't hadn't even listened to her anymore.

Control. Harry.

Harry loved control. It wasn't a question. Did it have anything to do with that? With control? Was that the reason Harry was the way he was?  
"Is it possible that Harry is addicted to sex because he has full control then?", he said his thoughts and Elia was silent, then chuckled slightly.  
"Well, I don't know him-"  
"Then just trust me"  
Elia sighed, but in the end the subject was too serious to laugh at what Louis had just said. But it was only then that Louis realized what he had just said.  
"I-I mean, not that I know, I just-"  
"Doesn't matter. And yes, it may indeed be, I've been thinking about something similar. Because if he always presents himself differently than he really is, he doesn't feel safe. Maybe sex gives him the feeling of being in control. Maybe he doesn't feel as if he has himself or his life under control and therefore has the constant need to regain control with sex..."  
"Yes!", Louis said immediately. Because the way Harry was acting, it all made sense.  
"But Louis, this... this is just preliminary, okay? I'm asking you to keep this to yourself and... and not to think about it too much. Rather worry about therapy than the reasons for all of this, that's my job. You're already very involved in all this. But you can make sure that Harry does what I suggest"

It's not like I see him all the time, Louis thought, really wanted to help.

"Yes", he said anyway.

No, I'll keep thinking about it, he knew as the therapist said goodbye to him and they both hung up.

But the call hadn't helped Louis to stop thinking about Harry. On the contrary. Now he thought about how he could help her. Because if he helped her, it helped Harry, didn't it? So he thought, and he spun around in his desk chair. His eyes fell on his bed and then on the bedstead, whereupon he immediately stopped with his movement. Yes, he had an idea. And although he didn't like it, and he was sure Harry wouldn't like it either, he would go with it. Determined he stood up.

***

"Harry", said Louis, taking Harry's face in his hands.  
"Calm down"  
"What the fuck?!"  
Louis laid his forehead against Harry's, but this one turned his head and pulled at the handcuffs again.  
"I just wanted-"  
"I don't give a shit what you want! How dare you?!"  
Louis looked at him sadly.  
"Will you calm down, please? I won't let you free like that"  
Harry was silent, still staring at him stunned. When he finally held still, Louis bent down to kiss him along his neck.  
"Louis-"  
Harry fell silent when Louis put his hand on his mouth. His eyes grew big. What the fuck?! What the fuck was going on?!  
"Please be quiet", Louis said, frowning sadly as he continued kissing. He knew what a risk this was. But it could help Harry! And Louis would do anything for that. No sooner did Louis' hand leave his mouth than Harry spoke out.  
"When I get out of here, you can expect something", he growled, pulled at his hands again and Louis sat up.  
"I want to help you! "  
"With what?! What is this shit?!"  
Louis was about to say something when Harry's look changed, like he understood.  
"Does this turn you on?"  
Louis frowned.  
"To tie me up here? Because you wish you could just chain me up in your basement and keep me away from everyone and have me all to yourself? How sick are you, Louis?!"  
Louis snorted in indignation.  
"Of course not", he said, though he really would want to. Only a short while...  
"I'm here to show you that sex can be beautiful, too"  
Harry looked at him in a completely confused way.  
"Why do you think I'm a sex addict?"  
Louis sighed. Harry just didn't understand.  
"Why are you a sex addict?"  
"Oh, Elia, I didn't know you were here. How are you?"  
"Why?!", Louis ignored him and Harry sighed, because what could he do? It was probably the first time he gave in.  
"Because I like sex? I don't know what you think what it is, but-"  
"No", Louis interrupted him calmly.  
"You like the control by having sex"  
Harry frowned, once again not seeming to understand him. Or not wanting to understand him.  
"You love to control people and always want everyone to do exactly as you say. And that's what you get with sex. Think about it, you've been like this since you were little, just because you grew up like that"  
Harry remained silent. Louis seemed to be able to see inside him. Even if Harry had never known or thought about it, Louis knew him better than anyone else in his life.  
"And to stop associating control with sex, I just took your control away"  
Louis smiled and stroked Harry's hair, proud of his idea and having found a way to help Harry.  
"How sick are you?", Harry only said distraught. Louis was sick. He was so sick.  
"Why?", Louis asked calmly and looked at him questioningly.  
"You tie me up here and feel like God just because you have control over my body?"  
Louis was silent and Harry realized what he had said.  
"You noticed yourself, haven't you?" Louis asked after a moment's silence. Seriously, Louis could have said the same thing many times but never had.  
"Yes, that you're ill", growled Harry pissed off, would never admit that Louis was right.  
"Just let go", Louis would no discuss this. Because no, he wasn't sick. Maybe he was a little obsessed. Maybe even morbidly obsessed. With Harry.  
"With what?! Are you torturing me now, or what are you up to?"  
Louis sighed, because Harry's big mouth wasn't restrained by the handcuffs either.  
"No. I'll show you that sex is beautiful without control and that you won't think about control during sex. Then you no longer associate sex with control and you don't need it all the time", he said and kissed Harry's upper body.  
"So you're gonna rape me with flower sex?"  
Louis looked up angrily.  
"Yeah, maybe I will!"  
Harry had to laugh and shook his head, before laying it back on the pillow. Because honestly, Louis was at least as sick as he was.  
"As long as you don't cut me open like you do with your arms"  
Louis rolled his eyes and kept kissing.  
He arrived at Harry's boxers, but then a phone rang. It was Harry's, he could recognized.  
"Ignore it", Harry ordered, and Louis wanted to obey first, but then the handcuffs came back to his mind. So he sat up and looked at the nightstand. Harry opened his eyes, followed Louis' gaze and then looked at him again admonishingly.  
"Louis," he growled.  
"You will not dare-"  
But Louis reached for Harry's phone without hesitation; jealousy stronger than his love for Harry. If that even was possible. But in fact, Louis' jealousy was growing daily and it seemed to eat him up and control him more and more. So much that he ignored even Harry's orders.  
"Why is Lottie calling you?", he asked seriously, and Harry shrugged.  
"How should I know?"  
"Are you having something with her?", Louis kept asking and his grip on the phone grew tighter. The longer his sister's name was on his swarm's screen and the ring tone played on and on, the more jealousy and despair took over.  
"Are we gonna ignore the fact that you are simply ignoring my order-"  
"Answer!", Louis interrupted him, and Harry's eyes widened.  
"No, calm down"  
"Then why is she calling you?!"  
"I don't know, it just so happens that I can't see inside her mind!"  
Louis snorted and finally it stopped ringing. Without hesitation, he put Harry's phone into flight mode. No one would interrupt him now.  
"Hey-", Harry protested, as Louis carelessly dropped his phone beside the bed, but Louis' hand lay over Harry's mouth again.  
"Don't you understand? I'm trying to help you here and this is just interrupting it! I don't want you thinking about any stupid bitches"  
"That's your sister! ", Harry mumbled stunned under Louis' hand and Louis' second hand lay on his mouth.  
"I don't care! All those girls who are friends with you because they're horny for you are bitches. None of them deserve you"  
The situation just now was perfect for Louis. Harry was tied to the bed here, couldn't push Louis away, shut up because Louis' hands were on his mouth and had to listen to Louis. This triggered Louis' anger at anyone who wanted anything from his Harry even more. Because Harry was his! Nobody loved Harry like Louis did!  
"Why do you get involved with bitches like that?! Why do you give them the reassurance they don't deserve and you don't want to give them, just for the control you crave? Why don't you take me every time you need it? I love you as much as you deserve it!"  
When Harry hadn't said anything, Louis let his hands fall from Harry's mouth, because maybe he had pressed a little too hard with all his anger. So he came down a little bit and took a deep breath, ran a hand over his face. Maybe this had been a bad idea. Maybe he couldn't say anything to Harry, because he himself was slowly losing control, too.  
"Then let me take you", Harry just said softly. He was a bit shocked by Louis, this situation and his jealousy. But he needed him now. It. He just needed sex.

And for Louis, that was the phrase he had needed. At least he thought he needed it.

Actually he would have needed a truthful rejection to get back to reality, he had just really lost sight of it after all. And he kept losing sight of it.

So he unlocked the handcuffs without thinking about it, forgetting all his good intentions to help Harry. Harry grabbed Louis immediately, turned the two of them around so that he lay between Louis' legs. So that he had control again.

Because of course Louis could tie him up and take control of his movements for a short moment. But he could not take away his control over Louis.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ! If you have questions/remarks, don’t be scared to comment  
> I’m happy about every Kudos and comment <3  
> All the love xx  
> @runningwatermelon  
> (Twitter & Instagram: larrymelon28; Wattpad: runningwatermelon)


	21. ||19||

Moaning, Harry rolled himself next to Louis, who tried to calm his breathing. He looked beside him and had to smile when he saw that Harry had peacefully closed his eyes. After sex he was always a little less tense. Louis sighed, briefly grimaced when he turned to Harry and he was already trying to cuddle up to him when he was stopped by Harry's hand which was reaching out a pack of tissues.  
"Don't you dare", he said and Louis sighed, took the pack from him and cleaned himself. It was Harry's fault; he always wanted to have sex without a condom. And okay, there was cum on Louis' belly, too, but my goodness. But he said nothing. He remembered when Harry used to take him in his arms after sex, clean him up, sometimes carry him into the shower or bath, kiss him and... Yeah, it was all an act. But Louis ignored that. He only thought about that time, not that it was all just a big lie.

He carelessly tossed the tissue away on the ground and wanted to snuggle up to Harry, but Harry stopped him again with one hand, still lying on his back with his eyes closed.  
"Trashcan", he just said and Louis sighed.  
"I'll do it later"  
"Louis. I just moved here, and you're already-"  
"Calm your tidiness down, I can't walk now", Louis protested, slipped under Harry's arm and cuddled happily the warm body. While he rubbed his cheek against Harry's chest with a smile, the elder opened his eyes.  
"Don't ever do that shit again"  
"Jesus, It's just a tissue-"  
"That's not what I mean. I mean that shit", he said and Louis heard Harry snapping at the handcuffs. He swallowed, only now remembering his plan. He sighed disappointed in himself. But so what; it was Harry. And as long as he could be with Harry, all was well. And actually it had worked - he was now sure that it was the control and not the sex itself.  
"Got it?", growled Harry.  
"You're lucky I haven't thrown you out already"  
Louis pressed himself closer to Harry as if he was afraid Harry would do it now.  
"No", he just said stubbornly.  
"I wanted to help you"  
"And since when do we do what you want? We do what I want. So stop it! Or you'll never see me again"  
Louis pressed himself even closer to Harry if he could.  
"Sorry, I'll never do it again. I love you"  
"Fine"  
Harry wanted to push Louis away because he had clung to him so tightly. But he had underestimated Louis' strength and had to push harder so that the weaker one would get away from him.  
"Stop it, you're almost crushing me"  
Louis had to giggle. Like he was capable of it. Physically and emotionally. He could never hurt Harry.  
He hummed happily as he snuggled up against Harry from behind, this time his cheek on Harry's shoulder blades after the taller one had turned away from him; an invitation to hug him from behind. Because perhaps Harry liked to be held after all; who didn't like that? It wasn't as if he detested attention. Maybe that was the reason why he hadn't shot Louis in the wind yet?

"Harry"  
Silence.  
"Harry"  
Again, nothing.  
"Haz"  
Harry remained silent.  
"Hazzababy"  
"Call me that again and I'll kick your already sore ass", Harry muttered into his pillow and Louis had to giggle, kissing Harry's shoulder blades, then his back.  
"I'm hungry"  
"Then eat something", the elder mumbled into the pillow again, almost falling asleep.  
"Will you cook something?"  
Harry was silent again, which was probably a no.  
"Please", Louis whined, also missing Harry's cooking in their relationship. Which again was an act, but he, as said, paid no attention to that.  
"I can cook, too, but then your new kitchen-"  
"Stay out of my kitchen"  
"Then cook me something", said Louis and yes, maybe he could get annoying when he was hungry and wanted to eat. Even to Harry.  
"Maybe later"  
But both knew this was just talk to keep Louis' mouth shut.  
"I'm hungry now"  
"And I'm fucking tired", Harry said annoyed.  
"But I'm not!"  
He was a bit tired, but hunger prevailed. And it's impossible to go to sleep hungry anyway.  
"Of course; you just had to lie there and do nothing"  
Louis rolled his eyes.  
"Hi Harriet"  
Harry immediately sat up, which caused Louis to fall backwards.  
"One more word and you can go"  
Louis looked sadly into his face, then nodded. Harry sighed annoyed, threw himself back into his pillow and kept silent. Louis put his arm around Harry, this time looser because he was afraid Harry would push his arm away. He was only joking. How come Harry got to make fun of Louis but Louis not of Harry?  
It was unfair. And yet it didn't really matter.  
Louis closed his eyes, sighing sadly. But his mood changed again by telling himself that he was allowed to hold Harry in his arms.

***

Louis really appreciated Niall. For by now he seemed to be his only friend. He somehow didn't care, he had Harry and his whole life revolved around the older one. But it was still good to be with Niall. Because he didn't want to go shopping alone either. They were only shopping for a short time because Niall still had to go to his grandmother's birthday party and Louis wanted to work on his presentation and would even eat with his parents in the evening, but still.  
He absolutely needed a new pair of yoga pants because his one was torn. Yeah, that had been pretty embarrassing because they had torn in class. And yes, he went to yoga class. It was fun and relaxing. In the end he had bought two (he hadn't been able to decide). One in baby pink and one in grey.

Happily, he swung the bag back and forth while listening to Niall talking about how he wasn't sure if he still liked Whitney because he had met a girl, which was also totally great.  
"You know, Niall", he said at some point.  
"I don't have that problem"  
Niall rolled his eyes, had thought Louis was giving him advice.  
"And you always know who you want?"

Yeah. Harry.

"No, you're right. Was talking about girls. Just become gay! Did you ever think of that?"  
"So you can have me? Oh, nah"  
Louis stuck out his tongue, which made the blond laugh. Then he stopped when he looked straight ahead.  
"Oh, there's Harry and Liam"  
Louis' gaze immediately shot forward, because he had just looked into a shop window. And at first he just stared at Harry, who was standing with Liam in front of a shop. He looked so beautiful, wearing a long black coat, his black Chelsea boots and god, he wore a bandana. Louis tried not to squeal, because Niall still didn't know about his feelings for Harry. Because the blond guy didn't have Twitter and the people he was hanging out with were either not in their school, not following the school paper or just had better things to do than hang on Twitter. So he hadn't noticed any of this. Louis should probably tell him sometime soon...

Louis was so fixated on looking at Harry that he hadn't even noticed that they were walking towards him. It was when Harry looked at Niall and Louis, he blinked, turned red.  
"Well, well, who's there?", Liam noticed the two of them and Harry smiled.  
"Niall, Louis, hi"  
Niall greeted them and Louis stared again. Confused, Niall noticed this and nudged him, which he blinked at.  
"Oh, uh, hi", he said and became even redder. Liam laughed slightly and Harry ignored it, looking at Niall.

Does he still not know about it? It was on Twitter.

But before Niall could even ask Louis what was wrong with him, he was interrupted.  
"Oh, shit", he said when he saw that his father called.  
"This is my dad. He said he'd call me when he came to pick me up for my grandma"  
Louis nodded, and Niall left as he answered the call.  
"Don't you still have to call Vanessa back?", Liam recalled the action and reminded Harry, who sighed and nodded. Louis tried not to flip out in front of Niall, just wavered at his blonde friend.

So that shit Vanessa is still interfering in Harry's life. Bitch

"See ya!", called Niall and Louis called out a 'byee' after him, now feeling so alone with the two older ones. But at that moment, reinforcements arrived.  
"Louis?!"  
Louis looked to the exit of the shop in front of which they were standing.  
"Pete? Heyy", he said enthusiastically and Pete immediately came to him to hug him. He didn't even hug him, he lifted him up and Louis had to laugh, holding on to the almost dark-haired one.  
"What are you doing here?", Louis asked smiling and looked at his face.  
"What are you doing here?", Pete frowned and asked the question back.  
"You know each other?"  
They both looked at Harry, who looked at them questioningly and confused at the same time.  
"He went to our school", Louis said as if Harry didn't know and didn't know Pete for that very reason. Then Louis kicked with his feet.  
"Let me down now", he laughed, and Pete laughed as well, walked to the wall of the house that protruded, sat on it, stood between Louis' legs and then hugged him. Louis laughed out in surprise.  
"I missed you, how come you never text me back?"  
"What? You never texted me"  
"What?"  
Pete looked at him suspiciously.  
"I have texted you almost every day since then"  
"Huh? I didn't get anything"  
"Did you deliberately give me a wrong number?"  
"Pete-"  
"No, tell me honestly. I'd rather know now than keep thinking you like me", Pete laughed slightly and Louis sighed.  
"You saved my number in your phone. You probably typed in a number wrong. I like you, Pete"  
"Hmm, you're right. I don't think you're the kind of guy who sleeps around and makes fun of men", Pete said, straightening Louis' hair that had just become a little frizzy from the lift.  
"Even though you've got what it takes, I bet every man's running after you. And probably some girls who can't have you"  
Louis blushed and laughed slightly. He didn't know why, but with Pete, everything was so simple. In fact, he never knew what to say in these situations; he didn't get the attention Pete gave him every day. It was pleasant talking to him.  
"Thanks, Pete. But no, not really"  
"Anyone who doesn't do that has no brain", Pete said with a loud laugh, so that again several people looked at them.  
"What's going on here?", Liam asked Harry, who listened to them in shock.  
"I have no idea", he said, but would find out now.  
"How do you know each other so well?", he then asked loud enough for the two of them to hear. Louis immediately looked at him and when he saw Harry's eyes, he swallowed slightly. He expected Pete to say something, but this one let the smaller one speak.  
"We met at the hospital"  
Harry raised an eyebrow.  
"Hospital...?"  
Harry didn't even remember it, although Louis had told him, of course. Without blaming him, of course.  
"Because of my ankle. On my birthday"  
Only now did Harry remember the message to which he had never replied.  
"Louis was all alone and I finally had the nerve to speak to him", Pete explained and pricked Louis' stomach, making him laugh and shove his hand away.  
"I still can't believe it. One of the prettiest boys in school had a crush on me ducklings. If you'd talked to me then, I never would've believed you"  
Harry thought he was playing in the wrong movie. What kind of show was this?!  
"Don't put yourself down like that, Lou", Pete said seriously, taking a step back from Louis, who kept on sitting.  
"Like I said, anyone who can't see how pretty you are is blind"  
"That's right", Liam said now and Louis looked surprised at this, turned red.  
"T-Thank you"  
Harry didn't understand anything anymore.  
"Anyway, I'm gonna call Vanessa", he said, walking away from them a bit. Louis looked at him sadly. Of course he hadn't said anything. All the joy Louis had felt just that moment was gone. Harry would never say he was pretty. Did Harry even think Louis was good looking? What if he actually thought Louis was ugly, too short and too fat?! After all, he had only called him pretty when he was nice to Louis during their relationship!

"Hey, what's wrong?", Pete asked, with a worried undertone. Louis blinked and looked from Harry back to Pete.  
"What? Nothing, doesn't matter"  
Liam knew, of course, that Louis was sad because Harry had left and preferred not to say anything. For once in his life.  
"Don't you like Harry?", Pete asked and Louis frowned.  
"How do you even know him?"  
"Harry? Well, he used to work in my dad's bakery for a long time and he goes to our school. Or at my former one"  
"Tom?"  
"Oh, how did you-"  
"I go there a lot, too, and I went there once with Harry"  
"With Harry? So you don't hate him after all?"  
"Why, no", said Louis, laughing slightly.  
"No, I don't... I like him"  
Pete smiled.  
"Yes, I would have wondered. I get the feeling everybody likes him. You would've been the first person I've met who doesn't"  
Liam gave Louis a knowing look and Louis ignored it.  
"Yeah", he just said, smiling slightly at Pete.  
"Well, I could have asked Harry for your number. What a bummer"  
Louis laughed, then looked at the clock.  
"Oh, I have to go"  
Pete sulked, but Louis hugged him.  
"I'm sure I'll see you soon. Wait, let me give you my real number"  
Pete immediately smiled again and put his phone out to him. Louis improved the number.  
"Yes, there was a number missing", he grinned, and Pete run a hand through his hair.  
"So much stress for nothing"  
Louis laughed, then turned to Liam.  
"See you, Liam"  
He didn't get to say goodbye to Harry. And though that hurt him, he couldn't wait, he had to hurry home.

***

* Two days later *

Harry greeted Liam, who sat in the passenger seat of his Range Rover. He had called Harry and asked if he would go to the gym, too. However, Liam had only asked him because he wanted to train now to catch a girl from the yoga class, which would be over by then.

"In the end, it's all for nothing and Zendaya hasn't even been to yoga class today", Liam said as Harry parked the car.  
"You can just join in next time", said Harry as he unbuckled his seat belt. Liam did the same, then got out of the passenger door.  
"Of course. As the only boy, I certainly don't feel like being watched... Harry this is it!"  
Harry rolled his eyes and Liam laughed.  
"No, then I'm not good with the girls, but come off as gay and her new best friend. And then I'm going to the gay friend zone"  
Harry sighed, which was not even an act.  
"All right, Liam"

They went into the building and stood near the door of the yoga room.  
"I'm sure boys have been there before. Yoga isn't just for women"  
Liam raised his eyebrows.  
"Oh really? Well, you go if you feel like it"  
"I'm sure it's not that bad. Maybe it's even cool. Don't knock it till you try it. I think Louis sometimes goes to one of those yoga classes"  
And why exactly did he say that last sentence now?  
But Liam suddenly became aware.  
"What? Here?"  
At Harry's nod, Liam raised his eyebrows in interest.  
"Okay, maybe I'll go in one class"  
"What would it get you to do yoga with Louis?", Harry chuckled.  
"Share the same hobby? Share interests? And I could stand behind him, then I'd have a nice view with every exercise", Liam finally smirked and Harry rolled his eyes. Louis' ass was all his anyway, Liam didn't have to imagine anything. At that moment the door of the yoga room opened and a couple of women, unknown to the two of them, walked past them chatting with their water bottles in their hands.

In the end Liam wanted to give up because it didn't look like Zendaya had been here that day, but then she came out laughing. Together with Whitney and-  
"Louis?", Liam asked perplexed and Louis' laughter changed suddenly when he noticed the two boys.  
"Liam, Harry! Hey", Zendaya smiled, and before Louis could do anything, she was already standing with the two boys, hugging them briefly.  
"Are you working out again?"  
"You know me", Liam grinned and Harry just nodded smiling.  
"Show-off. Take a cue from Harry", giggled the girl and now Louis and Whitney stood with them, Louis with an incredulous expression and at the same time a look full of love and admiration and Whitney with a pejorative expression - both looking at Harry. Yes, the two had met by accidentally. Normally Whitney never went to yoga, but Zendaya had dragged her. If she had known that Louis was also here in this very class, she would not have come. It had been strange how they had pretended nothing was wrong, both knowing that nothing was the same.

"What are you doing here?"  
"Getting pizza", replied Zendaya Louis, rolling her eyes.  
"Unlike us slackers, they do something productive"  
This even loosened Louis from his rigidity, because nobody made fun of him like that (except Harry, but he was allowed to) and nobody said anything against yoga.  
"One more time Zendaya and I'm gonna kick your flat ass. Yoga is just as much a sport as running around unnecessarily on a power-driven plastic strap"  
"Actually, we're not really running. We're weight-"  
"Flat ass? Unlike you, I do something for my ass. Not everyone is blessed like that by nature, so shut up", Zendaya interrupted Liam already and at that moment Camille came out of the room, heading for Harry, of course.  
"Harryyy, hiii"  
Somewhat surprised, Harry greeted the blonde. Camille and Louis. In a yoga room. That went well?  
Louis rolled his eyes, annoyed by the bitch since the beginning of yoga class. He should probably change the gym. Or she.  
"It all comes from yoga, see what it gets you", he still replied to Zendaya.  
"Ah yes, you did yoga as a baby? I bet you do some butt workouts every day and drink some special shakes"  
"Sure, you got me now"  
"Why are we talking about Louis' ass again?", Whitney then interrupted the conversation between Zendaya and Louis.  
"Because unlike some people here he has one", Zendaya said, sulking sadly.  
"Hey, Harry's working on it", Liam said there and everyone looked at him. Harry looked at him offended and while Louis' cheeks were slightly reddening, Zendaya laughed. Whitney laughed too because she thought Harry more than deserved it. Camille, on the other hand, raised an eyebrow.  
"What are you talking about Liam, Harry's got a great ass"  
She placed one hand on Harry's upper arm, which was free through his top. Then she looked at Louis.  
"Don't you agree with me, Lewis?"  
Louis blushed more, cleared his throat.  
"Uh, what?"  
"Why're you so distracted? Asked if you didn't agree with me that Harry had a great ass", she innocently blinked at him with her eyes.  
"I-I...", Louis stammered with a bright red head, not sure how to act now. What was that exposure of Camille again?!  
Harry rolled his eyes, gave Liam a slap on the back of the head when he laughed.  
"Enough, Camille"  
"Yeah, you better worry about your own non-existent ass", Whitney said poisonously.  
"You can ask Louis about the shakes, he must be doing something right unlike you"  
Camille looked at her stunned while Zendaya and Liam snorted, Louis had to giggle and Harry coughed to hide his own smile.  
"Who the hell do you think you are?!", Camille made an attempted threatening move towards Whitney, who was not really afraid of her. This bitch had been getting on her nerves the whole yoga class and she also found it just as annoying that her friend Zendaya was friends with Camille, so Whitney had to spend time with her. Zendaya hadn't even said that Camille was coming!  
"Leave her alone, Camille. It's just a joke", Harry now said and Louis' giggles disappeared immediately when Harry stepped behind her and put a hand on her hip.  
"Just a joke? The bitch insulted me"  
"Calm down, you don't have to throw words like that around, she's just a kid"  
"Oh how sweet of you Harry, but you certainly don't have to help me here because of someone like that, I can very well help myself. Besides the fact that I don't need any help from you anyway", Whitney answered and Louis looked at her warningly. She just made Harry mad at him again. But on the outside, Harry remained calm, continued to play innocent and sighed.  
"Whitney, I know you're mad at me about the thing with Louis. But we worked it out, it was for his best-"  
"What's this all about?", Zendaya asked confused and Louis wanted to say something with a red head, something invented.  
"Oh, nothing important", Camille said.  
"Only that Louis-"  
"Come on Camille, I'll buy you a drink", Harry took the blonde by the wrist and pulled her towards the sales counter. Zendaya looked at them in amazement. Louis also looked at them, but his gaze was sinister.

Slut

"Is there something going on between those two?"  
Louis looked at her immediately, but understood that she meant Camille and Harry, did on reflex a sound of vomiting. Zendaya looked at him in surprise, and Whitney had to giggle.  
"No way, Harry must have better taste", he murmured and looked at his shoes.  
"Come on", Liam said, took the smaller one's wrist and tried to pull him to the counter as well.  
"Nah, never mind, I have to go. Louis, are you coming?", Whitney asked, looking at him expectantly as Zendaya made her way to the dressing room and hinted Liam to call her, making Liam glow.  
Whitney just wanted to try again, giving Louis another chance to show that she still meant something to him. Or would he just go with Liam so he could spend more time with Harry? Whitney really didn't know. But she tried anyway.  
"Y-yes", said Louis quietly, actually wanted to stay here, but knew that it would only hurt him to see Harry with Camille, that he would only get more stress with her and that Harry didn't want to see him anyway. But Liam didn't let himself be put off.  
"Nonsense, Louis is staying here"  
"No, I-"  
"How did you get here?"  
"I walked with Zendaya and Louis took the bus", Whitney said, annoyed by Liam.  
"We'll give you a ride"  
"Did you come by car or what?"  
"Harry", Liam answered her and she raised her hands.  
"Definitely thanks, no thanks. Bye"  
When she realized Louis wasn't following her, she turned around.  
"Louis... are you coming?"  
Uncertain, the boy looked at Harry, who was standing near them, but nodded.  
"Y-Yes... I..."  
"Don't cry around, we'll take Louis with us", Liam smiled, putting his arm around Louis.  
"I don't know..."  
"My goodness, are you his mother?"  
"Shut up, I just care about him"  
"You may not like Harry for some reason, but he can drive"  
"I'll be happy to tell you the reason", growled Whitney, looking at Harry, who was now looking at the three of them.  
"Whitney", hissed Louis warningly and she looked at him angrily. He must have continued to stand by Harry. After all she had done for him... But okay. That's it, then. She didn't think she'd give him another chance. She was sure of that.  
God how radically Louis had changed. Just because of a boy. A boy who now controlled his whole life.  
"Do what you want", she said, pissed off, then walked towards the dressing rooms.

Louis wanted to call after her, but Liam was already pulling him to the counter.  
"Women", he said.  
"No wonder, with her as a friend I'd be gay, too"  
"Liam-", Louis started, wanted to explain that this definitely had nothing to do with it and that you didn't 'turn gay' as if you were sick. But he stopped talking when he saw what Harry and Camille were doing. Or what Taylor was doing. Just a moment ago Harry was leaning against the counter, she pressed herself seriously against him and pulled him to her side to put her disgusting lips on Harry's. Liam followed his gaze, frowning.  
"Oh", he said. But at that moment, Harry pushed her away and asked her something with a confused expression. Liam had to laugh.  
"There you go"  
But actually Louis shouldn't be happy about this action. Harry had only done it because he didn't want to come across as the way he truly was. And they were among people, so he had to be sweet and innocent. Camille saw Louis' watching eyes and said something annoyed to Harry.  
"...because of Louis?", Louis heard and he got mad. Was she gonna blame everything that went wrong with Harry on him?!  
Harry sighed, stood upright again so that he was no longer leaning against the counter, pushed her away gently as she took another step towards him.  
"Not only. But it's really not nice of you to do this in front of Louis-"  
"I'm not nice, you know that", Camille grinned.  
"I really need to work out now", Harry just said, wanted to get out of here quickly before he did anything else that would expose him.  
"Are you serious?!", Camille said angrily and Harry wanted to calm her down, but at some point she stomped off pissed. Louis looked at her gloating, still not realizing that nothing here had anything to do with Harry being in love with Louis or liking him more than Taylor did.

"Harry, you badboy", Liam laughed, and Harry ran a hand through his hair.  
"I hate when someone is mad at me"  
"This is Camille. Next time you see her, she'll be hanging off your nice, firm ass anyway"  
"Shut up", Harry said, rolling his eyes and Liam laughed out loud while Louis just laughed quietly.  
"Where's Pete anyway? Didn't he want to come, too?", Liam asked and looked at his phone.  
"He texted me earlier, saying he was going to be a bit late. He should be here soon"  
"You work out with Pete?", Louis asked in surprise and Liam nodded.  
"Yeah, he's a cool sock"  
Louis had to smile when he thought about Pete. He was such a nice and pleasant person.  
"Yeah", he said, and Harry looked at him a little skeptically.  
"How come you two are so close if you don't even really know each other?"  
Liam had to laugh immediately because Harry's voice had unintentionally deepened a bit.  
"Harry, come down! That's good, right? Then Lou takes his mind off his crush on Hazzabear"  
"Stop it", Louis said angrily, and Harry also looked less enjoyed at Liam.  
"What? It's so sweet of you to say you're head over heels in love with our Harry"  
"What's going on?"

Everyone turned to the exit where Pete had just come through and was now joining the three of them.  
"Huh? Nothing", Harry said directly, then looked at him skeptically for a moment.  
"Why are you so late?"  
"Why, does someone has to get on the train?", Pete looked at him confused.  
"I had to help my dad with something. I thought you'd understand best"  
Harry tried to pull himself together in front of Pete, smiled charmingly.  
"Yes, of course. Sorry, I'm a bit upset right now"  
"Why, what happened?"  
"Camille snogged him", Liam said laughing and Pete raised his eyebrows.  
"What? Isn't that this... sympathetic blonde?", he asked, giving Louis a look that resembled a grimace, making the smaller one laugh. The two of them had once talked gossip about the blonde together.  
"What are you even doing here, Lou?", Pete then asked with a smile, pushing Liam away a bit, as he had stood right next to the smaller one to hug the boy.  
"I was in yoga classes"  
"You do yoga?", Pete asked in surprise, looked at him again, still with his arms around him and Harry looked at the spot on Louis' tailbone where they enclosed him. Louis went a little into the hollow back to look at Pete as well without getting too close to his face and then still in his yoga leggins.  
Fuck, his ass was awesome. And those thighs.  
"That you didn't know that yet", Harry said then, arms crossed in front of his chest, took his eyes off Louis' curves.  
"I'm sure everyone who knows him well knows this"  
Pete made a puff and glanced briefly at Harry, then back at Louis.  
"Yeah, I really don't know you very well. When are you free?"  
That wasn't what Harry had in mind to cause and his eyes got wider when Louis smiled.  
"I'm actually free almost every day. I'd even skip yoga for you"  
Pete laughed out loud and then buried his face in the pit of the younger boy's neck.  
"No, don't do that, I'm sure I stink"  
Pete looked at him immediately.  
"Nonsense, you smell good", he said and Louis smiled again and Harry had absolutely no idea what was going on. Again.  
"Shall we go and work out now?", Liam asked, himself a bit confused.  
"Oh, right", Louis said and took a step away from Pete, saw the look on Harry's face and was a bit confused because he didn't know that look from him and therefore couldn't interpret it.  
"Didn't want to hold you up"  
"You're not", Pete smiled sweetly and Louis returned it.  
"Wait, when you do yoga, aren't you fully stretched?"  
Liam and Harry gave him a somewhat distraught look as if they couldn't believe what he was saying, and he looked at them confused.  
"Uh, yeah?", said Louis a little unsure, and Pete understood.  
"God, no!", he immediately laughed out loud.  
"That's not what I meant! I just mean that it's crazy to be stretched like this and being able to do splits and shit... so on the floor and not in bed, I mean... god, come down, what do you think of me?!"  
Louis also laughed slightly and Harry had absolutely no desire to work out with Pete. Louis turned to Liam.  
"But Liam, um, no offence, but it was a stupid idea for me to come with you... because you're still training now and I'm already done", the little one said somewhat unpleasantly and Liam was silent. Right, he had been really stupid.  
"What?", Harry asked and looked at Liam.  
"I meant we could take Louis with us, but I didn't think about the fact he'd have to wait"  
"Oh", said Pete and looked at Louis.  
"Then I'll just wait with you"  
Puzzled, Harry looked at him.  
"Sorry?"  
Pete shrugged.  
"Yeah, why not? Then I can ask him a few questions and get to know him"  
Louis smiled, but then looked at his water bottle.  
"You don't have to wait with me, I'm sure I'll get home some other way"  
"Yes, by taxi", Harry said, knowing that Louis hated going by it. Especially alone. And it seemed he couldn't quite maintain his helpful, charming manner. But everyone would think it was because of Camille's action anyway.  
"I, uh, hate going by taxi?", Louis said like a question, since Harry actually knew that. So why did he suggest it now? What was wrong about him waiting with Pete? Don't think it occurred to him that Harry might be jealous. Because Harry had never been jealous before; never about him or any other person. Nor would Harry call it jealousy if he even thought about it. Rather, he was possessive, and Louis was his. In fact, everything about him was his.

"Well, I'd say you go take a shower and change your clothes and then we'll go and chill somewhere and Harry and Liam can go to the weights", Pete suggested, clapping his hands before he looked at everyone expectantly.

What is he thinking of determining now?, thought Harry annoyed.

First he makes us wait and now this?

"Nonsense, you've got it wrong", Liam now said.  
"Louis goes pumping himself", he said and then laughed slightly.  
"Ha ha, I'm Liam, and I'm a guy who laughs about guys who don't feel the need to lift and put down any metal pieces weighing several kilos, only to lift them up again", bitched Louise and Harry had to smile. Liam laughed, like Pete, and put his arm around the smaller one.  
"Don't take it amiss, you don't need it anyway. But I just can't picture you working out"  
"Pete can show me", Louis said, knowing straight away that this was an absolutely bad idea because he would embarrass himself, but he had already suggested it out loud anyway. Pete looked at him in surprise, as did Harry, then shrugged his shoulders.  
"Sure, why not? We can go in and you can tell me what you want to try"  
"Well, that'll be fun", Liam nodded, went straight ahead and Harry followed, in a worse mood than he liked because he couldn't control himself, Pete and Louis walking in front of him in a good mood.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ! If you have questions/remarks, don’t be scared to comment  
> I’m happy about every Kudos and comment <3  
> All the love xx  
> @runningwatermelon  
> (Twitter & Instagram: larrymelon28; Wattpad: runningwatermelon)


	22. ||20||

It turned out that Louis really had absolutely no idea about any equipment in the room. Liam laughed at Louis' suspicions about the different devices and put his hand on his lower black, whereupon the smaller one stepped away somewhat embarrassed, with the excuse to want to take a closer look at the device and Harry had to smirk. With him he would never have stepped back.

A short time later Harry checked it Pete and Liam were paying attention to him. But in fact they were discussing where to go first and what they were going to do today. Without thinking more about it he walked to Louis, who looked distracted at a device, leaning down slightly.  
"You can train your inner thigh muscles with this", he said in Louis' ear as he put his hands on his waist. Louis immediately stood upright, immediately got goose bumps all over his body and felt his heart beat faster immediately.  
"O-Okay?", he stuttered and it sounded like a question he was pronouncing softly. He cleared his throat, immediately looked at Liam and Pete as Harry's hand went down to his bum. But of course he didn't do anything about it. After all, it was Harry's hands that were touching him like that.  
"I hate you in those sports leggings", Harry said into his ear and squeezed the flesh on his bum. The younger one gasped, but before he could say anything Harry's hand was gone, his mouth on his ear as well, and he had taken a step away.  
"Harry, what's taking you so long?"  
"Hm? Nothing, I was just saying to Louis that if he's uncomfortable, he doesn't have to be here"  
"But he suggested it?"  
Pete came to the two of them in confusion, then saw Louis' red cheeks and his eyes glinting distractedly at Harry.  
"Louis, are you okay? If you want, we can just sit down"  
Only now Louis noticed him properly and blinked.  
"Huh, what? No, no, everything's okay", he smiled slightly and Harry had to wipe the grin off his face because he had such an effect on the little one.  
"Liam would go for the dumbbells"  
Harry nodded, already looking in the direction where he saw the dumbbells.  
"Yes, I was going to do upper arms today"  
"Kay, I'm gonna do legs, I'll stay here", Pete nodded, then looked at Louis.  
"Come Harry, I can see from here how your arms slowly becoming noodles", called Liam.  
Harry laughed and followed Liam to the arm muscle machines. Louis looked after him, Pete fortunately didn't notice, as he had already sat down on another machine. Louis freed himself from his rigidity, sat down on the device next to Pete, just tried to follow him.

***

"I don't understand why people do this voluntarily", he snorted after a few minutes and stopped.  
"This is totally boring and monotonous"  
Pete laughed, but continued unperturbed.  
"And yoga isn't?"  
"Bullshit, it's still fun, and you move around, then change your posture and stuff. And you don't look so silly", said Louis, then laughed at Pete's laugh.  
"I've never done yoga before, but I'm more into this"  
"Then why do you do legs, you move them enough anyway"  
Louis looked around, perhaps he could see Harry for a moment. But the many devices and his size prevented him from seeing Harry. He let Pete carry on for a few more minutes, but at some point he got up.  
"You know what, this is too stupid for me. I came here to try something productive"  
"Why don't you see if you find something to train your arms-"  
"Oh, bullshit, don't be stupid", waved Louis off and Pete had to smile because of him.  
"Why should I do something that doesn't do anything at all and is just a waste of time?", he asked and put his hands on his hips, looked around.  
"Where are the ass thing devices?"  
Pete had to laugh, stood up. Because how could he tell Louis no?  
"Are you serious?"  
Louis looked up at him.  
"Yeah, why not? It's the only thing I can see the point of here. At least for me, since I'm untrained anyway. And why not see if my butt can stand that", he grinned at the end and Pete laughed, waved to follow him and the two walked to a mirror in front of which were different devices, half of which Louis didn't understand how to use at all. Seriously, some of the devices looked like torture devices. But what was even more interesting for Louis than the devices was the fact that he could see Harry from here. And god, he drooled at the sight of him lifting and lowering the dumbbell, tensing his biceps, slightly warping his face and-  
"Louis, are you listening to me?"  
Immediately, Louis' head snapped back to Pete and he turned red.  
"Huh? Sorry. What?"  
"If you're gonna try something here, you have to listen to me. If you do it wrong, you could get hurt"  
"Sorry, I just got a weird look from that guy"  
Pete raised his eyebrows.  
"Seriously? Who, I tell him to stop if he bothers you"  
Louis' eyes got wider.  
"No, no, everything's fine. Probably just because I don't look like I belong here"  
Louis pointed to his baby pink yoga pants. Pete laughed slightly.  
"Fuck him. So now you're listening?"  
Louis nodded, took a quick look in the mirror to look at Harry again, then gave Pete his full attention. Well, more like half; his mind was still on Harry working out.

***

In the end Louis had chosen the most uncomplicated one and had decided on squads with weight. True to the motto 'simple but effective'. After Pete had helped him for hours to find the right weight and then had to find some for himself, they could finally start.  
"Spread your legs further apart so it's easier and better for your knees", Pete said as he checked through the mirror to see if Louis was doing everything right.  
"Easier, easier. I feel like this thing's going to kill me", Louis whined, not believing he was actually in a gym, lifting weights instead of doing yoga. And besides, he hated that kind of exercise. It was damn exhausting and stupid! Pete laughed because of Louis' bitchy reaction, but then looked at him anxiously through the mirror.  
"Should I get you something lighter?"  
"I'm not a baby, look at my ass, it must be able to do something like that", Louise snapped and Pete smiled, then set a tempo together with him. After a while Louis even found a stand that allowed him to not collapse right away. Still, he had the feeling he looked like a disabled duck that had to shit like he had to stick out his bottom. Why did it always look so professional and sexy on Instagram?

At some point Pete stopped and Louis looked at him questioningly, but kept going.  
"I've never done squads in my life, I just can't do them anymore", Pete pretended to be offended and Louis laughed, continued. Meanwhile, Pete said he was going to get himself a drink.  
"Admit it, you do this every day", he shouted as he left.  
"Yes, you've got me now", said Louis, just about to stop, even less wanting to do this alone, when he saw Harry in the mirror watching him.   
He pressed his lips together so as not to grin and suddenly his body was able to do it again, driven by adrenaline and his heart, which immediately decided to beat even faster than it already did. Harry's gaze fell from his ass onto his face and he realized that he had been caught, but he just smirked and looked away again, always continuing with his weightlifting. Now Louis was watching him and the rapture immediately softened his knees, so he quickly stopped. Relieved to have the weight off his shoulders, he sighed up and stretched before briefly shaking his bum to relax it. He certainly still looked like a duck, but this time he shook out it's tail.  
He reached for his water bottle, drank from it and turned around to watch Harry again. Harry had also just taken a break, leaned with his arms crossed on the dumbbell that had snapped in front of him and talked to Liam. Louis put the bottle from his lips and sighed as Harry looked so incredible. How could he find a sweaty body so attractive?! Or how could Harry look so good while being sweaty? At that thought Louis looked in the mirror again and straightened his hair. Fortunately he hadn't sweated so much and therefore didn't look too worn out. Nevertheless he wanted to take a shower. Preferably with Harry, but whatever. When he drank again, he saw that Harry looked at his ass and then let his gaze wander up his body until he saw in the mirror that Louis was watching him. He grinned slightly and Louis made big eyes as he continued to drink from the bottle, sucking harder than necessary, so that his cheekbones stood out.  
"Oh, has the gentleman ever had enough", Pete came to him amused and Louis pulled the bottle from his mouth, thus interrupting the eye contact with Harry and coughing. Pete had to laugh, tapped him slightly against his back and Louis calmed down, looked embarrassingly touched at his shirt, which now had a few water spots.  
"Yeah, at some point even my butt isn't able to do more. I think I'll go take a quick shower and change. I can sit back here and talk to you while you do your weird stuff, right?"  
Pete laughed out loud, then shrugged his shoulders.  
"Yeah, of course"  
Louis smiled briefly and took his things when Pete went to his leg equipment. Because he couldn't help it, he looked back at Harry and Jesus, he did pull-ups. In his top that showed his big strong and sweaty arms and - of course he noticed Louis' drooling, grinned with his dimples, went on unperturbed. Dreamily Louis hummed, the bottle back in his mouth, before he made his way to the showers.

***

Typing a justification to Whitney, he then walked into the room with wet hair and new clothes to Pete.  
"Nah, how's it going?"  
He sat on the bench of one of the torture devices and watched Pete.  
"Good, good. Took you forever"  
Louis pouted.  
"I took my time. I'll take another shower at home, but I couldn't afford to miss my shower foam"  
Pete hummed.  
"Shower foam. Gift of God"  
Louis nodded laughing and looked at his phone, but Whitney hadn't answered yet. And he was sure she wouldn't either for a while.  
"Okay, you know what?", Pete said and stopped. Louis looked at him questioningly.  
"I don't have motivation anymore", Pete laughed out loud and Louis laughed as well.  
"I was so motivated before, but I'd much rather talk to you and focus on you"  
Louis blushed slightly and smiled.  
"You did say that cute"  
Pete smiled and sat down more comfortably, although it somehow looked wrong to sit so comfortably on this device.  
"What do you do in your spare time besides yoga?"  
A little overwhelmed, he looked at him.  
"Um... eat?"  
Pete laughed out loud.  
"Same"  
Louis laughed a little, reassured to not look like a fool.  
"Unlike some people, I don't really have many hobbies. I just go to yoga, like to read, meet with friends, although in summer you can play basketball or something for fun, or in winter Ice-skating or something like that... but basically I'm not doing that much in my life right now"  
"You don't have to. You might find something later, you never know. After school, you might feel like it more because you have more time"  
Louis nodded.  
"Yeah, maybe. But definitely nothing too strenuous. I'm such a lazy pig"  
Pete laughed again and Louis did the same, happy that Pete accepted him like that.  
"I'm not much of a sportsman myself", Pete said.  
"I work out once in a while because I find it kind of relaxing, too. And volleyball, but that's it"  
"Still more productive than me", Louis laughed, and Pete rolled his eyes.  
"The most productive thing I do is sleeping"  
"Me too, it comes right after eating", said Louis with a grin and Pete laughed.

***

In fact, the two had talked until Harry and Liam came to them, both sweaty and exhausted, while Louis took a fresh shower, his hands on the bench between his legs and sweetly supported on them, dangling his legs and talking happily with Pete. Louis looked so pretty right now, but nobody would tell him that right now. At least not the person he wanted to hear it from.  
"We're going to take a shower. You're very productive I see", Liam said laughing and Pete stood up, too.  
"Can I leave you alone for a moment? I'd like to take a quick shower at least", he said and Louis nodded.  
"Are you sure you don't just want to check out the boys?"  
Pete laughed and they left the room.  
"Why not? Even if they're not my type. There are some closets where you can get scared right away"  
Louis laughed before Pete left and he himself sat down on one of the chairs at the entrance counter.

***

Louis already heard Pete's loud laugh and put his phone away. Pete walked after Liam, laughing.  
"What's wrong?"  
"The whole shower smelled like Pete's shower foam", Liam mumbled, and Louis laughed.  
"That's great. Where's Harry?"  
Liam rolled his eyes, as Louis of course went straight back to asking for him.  
"He always needs some time"  
Louis smiled in reply because of course Harry needed some more time, but he deserved everything on the world after all.

"Sorry", Harry smiled apologetically when he soon came to them and the four of them exited, while Louis and Pete continued to talk about something they had been interrupted by; Harry wasn't listening.  
He unlocked the car and it was clear that Pete would immediately sit in the back; next to Louis. Again somewhat irritated, Harry got behind the wheel. Why had Liam invited Pete and why had he said that Harry could drive him?  
They talked about all sorts of stuff the whole drive and Liam looked at Harry and saw that his hands had gripped the steering wheel tighter than necessary. He chuckled. Yeah, he also felt like he had two kids in the backseat.  
"Shut up, guys. I think Mr. Styles is having a bad day"  
The two of them remained silent directly and Pete leaned forward.  
"Hey, you okay?"  
"What? No, it's okay. I'm sorry. I'm a little off today"  
"Great. And I was saying earlier that you're a good driver. The fact that the person who apparently has a little dropout today is sitting behind the wheel doesn't really reassure me", Liam said, Harry rolling his eyes.  
"It's all right", he said, looking briefly in the rear-view mirror, through which Louis looked at him questioningly and worriedly at the same time. He didn't seriously think what he was saying was true and he was only worried about the friendship between himself and Camille, right?

The next minutes went quietly.  
"Can we talk about how you're better at squads than me? And that was the first time for you in the equipment room", Pete then said a little quieter than their previous volume, but the two guys in front could still hear it. They also heard Louis laugh.  
"I probably didn't do it right. And I had lighter weights than you. And besides, it was your first time, too"  
"Still embarrassing", Pete laughed, and Liam was now talking.  
"I could have told you straight up that Louis could do better than you. You can see that"  
Louis blushed and you could tell he was uncomfortable. Harry had to hold back smirking; Louis only wanted to hear something like that from him anyway, and not from anyone else. And he only wanted to be touched by him. Because he was all Harry's.  
"When you're right, you're right", admitted Pete, and now Harry was talking. But he wasn't saying what Louis would like to hear.  
"I'll drop you off first, Pete"  
Pete looked at him a bit surprised because of the not fitting contribution, but then nodded.  
"Are you on shift?", Liam asked and again Pete nodded.  
"You're still helping your dad?", Louis asked with a smile.  
"Yeah, if I have the time and it works out, why not?", he smiled and Louis hummed approvingly.

***

When they were in front of the bakery, Louis hugged Pete, at least as good as they could while sitting next to each other.  
"I'll see you around"  
"Yes, I'll definitely text you. If that's okay"  
"Of course", Louis laughed and then let go, so Pete said goodbye to the others and then got out. No sooner had he slammed the door than Harry drove on and Liam gave him a sceptical look but then left it at that. Louis on the other hand frowned and played with his hands. What was wrong with Harry? He frowned even more when he saw his house as they drove past. But somehow he didn't dare say anything. Because Harry always knew what he was doing. So he kept quiet, but Liam was still there.  
"Wasn't that Louis' house already?"  
"Yes, but Gemma wanted to give Louis something for Lottie. We'll drive by there right after I drop you off. I don't know", he just said, and Liam looked at Louis, who nodded quickly.  
"Yes, she texted me earlier"  
"I thought Lottie hated you for not telling her anything about your sexuality and your crush-"  
"Make-up is obviously still important to her", Louis said bitterly, looking out the window. Because it hurt a little that Lottie hated him. But what the heck, Harry was worth it all.  
But why did Harry want to drop him off after Liam now? Or was what he said true?

Louis got out when Harry parked, confused why they were at his house now and not at his mum's. Maybe Gemma was at his place. Louis was actually a bit naive, trusted Harry blindly anyway. They were about to walk to the door, but they were stopped.  
"Hey, Harry!"  
Louis glared at the strange girl as she ran up the driveway and smiled at his Harry. Harry turned to her and smiled charmingly. But Louis saw in his eyes that he himself didn't feel like talking right now.  
"Trina, hi"  
"My oh-so-great mom makes me tell you that-"  
And that's when Louis switched off. He looked at the strange girl, annoyed that she talked so much and acted so nice. She just wanted to get into Harry's pants anyway. He crossed his arms in front of his chest.

What's this all about? If Harry really just wants to give me something for Lottie, he'd better do it quick before he spends hours chatting to that bitch

At some point the girl smiled slightly at Louis and seemed to recognize him. At least she seemed to consider whether she knew him.  
"I don't think we know each other, so you don't have to look at me like that", Louis said without really intending to. But he didn't like her anyway. Surprised, Trina looked at him, then laughed, nodded.  
"Okay, I was about to ask, but now I know it's you"  
"Excuse me?", he asked, and didn't really feel like talking to her. Harry didn't want to talk to her either.

Why is she talking to Louis now? It's bad enough she saw us two together here.

"You are Louis, aren't you?"  
Now Harry was alert again and Louis frowned. Partly confused, partly frightened. How did this girl know him now?  
"Apparently it's true", Trina laughed slightly.  
"And how do you know these things now?"  
"Wouldn't have to interest you if I didn't even have to look at you", smiled the girl before she walked back the driveway. She turned around again, grinned slightly, winked at Harry and shouted 'See you, Harry'. Louis clenched his hands in fists. That bitch. And how did that bitch know who he was? But Louis had apparently underestimated how much talk there was in Harry's circle of friends and neighbours. Especially about Harry. And if there was a little boy that liked him, that was a great story. He hadn't known that it was like Harry was a celebrity in that circle and he was going to be the number one topic of conversation just because he had a crush on him.  
"What a bitch. Who was that?", Louis asked, pissed off, wondering if Harry was just a magnet for horny women. Poor Harry, he didn't deserve that.  
"She lives across the street from me. Fuck her", Harry just said, not as charming of course as when the girl had been there, turned around and kept going towards the door. Louis looked again at the house where Trina had disappeared, thought about what she had said.

Wait.

Louis facepalmed himself.

Of course. Trina is a friend of Sheina and that Ashlyn-girl! She saw me in the city with Harry after we went to therapy for the first time. And now she was us here together. Of fucking course she is his neighbour. Wonderful.

Sighing he followed Harry inside.  
"Well? What shall I take for Lottie?", Louis asked, went into the living room and admired it, as he had not yet looked at it more closely. Harry slammed the front door shut and Louis could already feel Harry's chest against his back, as well as his hands on his waist.  
"You seriously believed me?", laughed the older one amusedly into Louis' ear and the smaller one shuddered.  
"W-What?", he asked, turning his face slightly to one side, his forehead frowning in disbelief. Harry smiled and strengthened the grip around Louis.  
"The question is what do I have for you?"  
Louis turned red and bit his lip.  
"Harry... I believed you", he said, giggling as Harry kissed his neck and his hair tickled him.  
"Then trust me less"  
"I can't"  
Louis sighed and leaned his head against the chest of the taller one, eyes closed with relish.  
"Really?", Harry asked and had to grin, stopped kissing for a moment. Louis could only manage a nod.  
"Would you run across a street with your eyes closed if I told you it was safe?", he asked with a chuckle, reaching over Louis' face from behind to cover his eyes with his right hand.  
"Of course", Louis said without hesitation, finding the question ridiculous. He trusted Harry. And if Harry was going to kill him, so be it. Louis wouldn't want to live anyway unless Harry wanted him alive.  
"If I killed someone now and you were suspected-"  
"Is this your way of telling me you've got someone on your conscience?"  
Harry had to laugh and Louis bit his lip smiling at the sound of Harry's laughter.  
"I'll go to prison for you if you want. As long as you come to see me"  
Harry chuckled again.  
"Does that mean you'd trust me to actually come and see you?"  
Now Louis was silent. Yeah, would he believe that? Would Harry bother?  
"Yes, I... I-I would hope so, and if you said it... I would trust you"  
Harry grinned and put his chin on Louis' shoulder, his hand still over Louis' eyes. He could play this game forever; it was fun to pick so many scenarios and imagine how Louis would always stand up for him and trust him. He found this amusing not because he loved Louis, but because it showed him how much control he had over the smaller one and how much he adored him. Besides, he didn't take it all too seriously. Unlike Louis.  
"If I need a kidney..."  
"If I'm a suitable donor, yes"  
Harry chuckled.  
"Who is more important to you, me or-"  
"You"  
"I've never said anyone for comparison"  
"I don't care, the answer will be you anyway, Harry"  
Harry was silent, expecting that perhaps family members were still standing before him. But why not?  
"That means, if you could save just one person, you would always-"  
"Pick you? Yes. I think that would be my first reflex whether I thought about it or not anyway"  
Harry sighed contentedly and stroked his lips against Louis' cheek, causing the younger to exhale trembling.  
"You really do seem to like me a little bit"  
Louis first wanted to protest, but then he noticed from Harry's voice that it was fun and had to smile slightly.  
"Yeah, you're okay"  
Harry laughed slightly, releasing his hand from Louis' eyes, causing the little one to blink a few times. Then he looked up at Harry behind him and smiled. Harry nodded to the kitchen.  
"Go to the kitchen"  
Louis frowned, but then listened to him anyway and went into the room with small steps. Harry went after him and already saw how Louis let himself fall stunned on the floor. He sat in front of one of the two boxes that said 'sorted out'.  
"Why 'sorted out'?", Louis asked and took a patterned shirt out of the box.  
"Got too many clothes anyway and most of them are too old or resemble each other with better and more expensive ones. I also want new clothes, I'll put this in a thrift store or donate it somewhere, I don't know"  
Louis nodded, but didn't understand what he was doing here, looking again at all the clothes that had been sorted out.  
"Anyway...", Harry went on and leaned against the door frame.  
"Thought maybe you'd find a sweater or something that you would like to-"  
"Wait, oh my god, for real?!", Louis stared at him with big, bright eyes, a huge smile on his lips and Harry chuckled, his arms crossed in front of his chest.  
"I don't need them anymore, so yes"  
Immediately Louis took one shirt after the other out of the box, some of them he even remembered when Harry had worn it. Some they had even bought together.  
"I'd say each shirt 100€"  
"Kay", Louis said, distracted by the sweater he was holding.  
"Louis. It was a joke", Harry said somewhat stunned. As if he was asking him for money now.  
"What?"  
Louis turned to face the door, looking at him questioningly from the floor.  
"As if you have to pay me now"  
"Oh, okay. I wasn't really listening, I just said yes", Louis giggled, then almost threw himself on the box again. Harry smiled, shook his head. How could Louis be so... strange and creepy? And why did he still spend time with Louis? But just another look at his body, his soft brown hair, his blue eyes, his small hands and his bum, his curvy waist... and Harry knew again why he was still spending time with him. Louis was pretty... Okay. Very.  
"Harry?"  
Harry blinked and looked at the little one, who looked up at him shyly.  
"Can I be honest?"  
"Depends", Harry answered and looked at his phone to see what time it was.  
"I'd like to keep everything", Louis giggled and pressed a black sweater against his chest. Harry rolled his eyes, but had to grin a little. Maybe he had mood swings, because he was just in a good mood again. And even he used to be a bit flattered by Louis; when he was in a good mood and Louis made it clear to him what he would do for the older one.  
"Wouldn't you rather be social?", teased Harry and put his hands on his knees as if he was talking to a little child. But that's exactly how Louis was pouting right now.  
"No, this is all mine now! I don't want any stupid people buying it"  
Harry had to laugh and stood up straight again.  
"Whatever. Just make sure Lottie doesn't see your laundry"  
"Oh, right"  
"And that you never wear it when-"  
"It's okay, I'll just wear it privately", Louis interrupted him and sighed as he smelled on a shirt.  
"Stop it", Harry demanded and went to the fridge to get something to drink.  
Louis ignored it and before Harry could do anything Louis clung to him from behind, pressed his face into Harry's broad back.  
"Thanks, Harry. That means a lot to me"  
Harry just hummed.  
"I don't care, as long as I get rid of this shit"  
Louis sighed, inhaled Harry's scent.  
"Am I a scented candle?"  
Louis had to giggle at Harry's serious tone and looked past his back into the fridge.  
"Snackysnack?", he asked expectantly and Harry rolled his eyes before slamming the door shut.  
"No, we're going to take a shower now"  
Louis pouted.  
"But I'm hungry!"  
"And I don't care. Do you wanna eat everything you just burned?"  
"So please! My bottom just lifted no idea how many kilos, then he may be hungry", Louis bitched and crossed his arms in front of his chest. Harry turned to him, a piercing look at the younger one.  
"Your ass is hungry?"  
Louis nodded and gave him a triumphant grin, closing his eyes. But he opened them the instant Harry pulled him to him.  
"Then let me feed him", Harry growled in his ear and his hands were on Louis' ass. And Harry was probably the only one with who Louis didn't make fun of his insinuation.  
"Harry", he said, a little stunned, because the pick-up line was admittedly quite ridiculous. But he was already lifted, and who would he be if he didn't kiss Harry back?  
"Are you sure we should shower first?", Louis laughed slightly against Harry's lips, which twisted into a smirk, and Louis took Harry's face in his hands, placing his index finger in Harry's cute dimple. He hummed contentedly as he put his lips back on those of his dream boy. He thought of nothing else but Harry and how wonderful and beautiful he was. Then he felt Harry put him down on the kitchen counter and leaned over him so that Louis lay with his back on the shelf.  
"Harry-", he was about to stop him, but Harry spoke up.  
"Forget it, this is my house", Harry read Louis' mind, kept on kissing his neck. Louis moaned as Harry pressed his crotch against him.  
"But we just can't... here-" he began, then realized himself that it was hopeless to try to change Harry's mind now.

***

Louis hummed 'How Will I Know' by Whitney Houston while lying on his bed on his stomach and swinging his legs in the air. When his phone made a sound, he immediately put down the pen he was doing his homework with. When he saw the name, he smiled immediately.

Haz <3: What are you doing today?

Louis: Nothing, just doing homework :/ Why? *-* <3

Haz <3: In 20 minutes?

Louis beamed even more, wrote back without hesitation, knowing that this meant that Harry would pick him up in 20 minutes.

Fuck homework, it's Harry!

Louis: Always <3 On the corner as usual?

After all, no one could see him getting into Harry's car. At first he thought it was a pity, but it was Harry's business. Louis hadn't really come out yet either. And he didn't know how Lottie would feel about it. So Harry said they should wait and see. And Louis trusted Harry then, he was much more grown up and experienced than Louis with his 15 years, whereas Harry had recently turned 20. He knew what was better.

Haz <3: You're still asking?

Louis giggled and texted him a heart back, then put his phone away before dropping his face in the pillow. Jesus, Harry. He was so in love with that boy. They'd been together just two weeks and Louis already had the feeling he wanted to be with him forever. He got up quickly to freshen up. Nice underwear, deodorant, fixing his hair, and, and, and.

Time went by way too fast and he saw he had to go. So he stomped down the stairs, called a 'Bye bye', through the house, got a 'Ciao' from his mother from somewhere, before he went outside, overjoyed and full of butterflies in his stomach, ran to the corner. Harry and Louis' corner. Smiling apologetically, he opened the passenger door.  
"Sorry I'm late"  
Harry smiled.  
"As usual"  
Louis giggled and jumped into the car, embraced Harry's face before the older one could drive off. He hummed happily when he could finally kiss Harry's lips again. They had last seen each other yesterday, but what could he say? Harry was like his drug. He didn't even want to imagine what he would do if Harry should leave him (Louis would never leave him). But he and Harry were made for each other and he knew how faithful and perfect Harry was. Nothing would separate the two. And those thoughts created more butterflies in his stomach.  
"I missed you"  
"Me too", Harry smiled, looking at him with those goddamn eyes. Dreamily Louis sighed, sat down properly, fastened his seat belt.  
"What are we doing today?", he asked, looking at Harry, who was far too pretty for the world even when driving.  
"Look behind you", Harry smiled at him briefly, and Louis did what Harry had said, as usual. Immediately, he beamed at Harry.  
"Yass, I'm hungry"  
Harry laughed, nodded.  
"I almost thought so"  
"What's that supposed to mean?", Louis pretended to be offended, but Harry just grinned.

***

Arriving at their regular place (cliché: on a hill) they spread the blanket and Louis could hardly wait to look into the picnic basket. He loved Harry, but Harry's food came right after.  
"I hope for your sake you didn't just make over-healthy stuff", Louis said as he immediately sat down in front of the basket to rummage through it. Harry laughed and laid down, hands behind his head.  
"I know you"  
Louis smiled at the sentence, which made him happier than he should have been. But that was the case with everything Harry did to him anyway. Sighing happily and with a filled wrap, Louis laid down next to Harry.  
"The best wrap I've ever had", he said munching and Harry turned his head to him, smiling.  
"Yeah? Honestly, I just threw something together"  
"Yeah, yeah, but it still tastes like from a gourmet cook"  
Louis rolled his eyes and Harry laughed.  
"What's in it?", asked Louis and Harry raised an eyebrow, knowing that Louis hated it because he couldn't do this.  
"Lettuce, corn, fresh guacamole, shrimp, spices and-"  
"'Just thrown together', shut up"  
Louis turned on his stomach, put his arms on Harry's chest, then laid his head on his arms.  
"Even if you do something quickly, it tastes perfect"  
Harry laughed slightly.  
"Thank you"  
"There", said Louis, holding out the wrap to him, which made Harry bite. Harry hummed, pushed Louis right away to sit up and get one for himself. Louis laughed and they lay down again as before.  
"You're right, this is the best wrap I've ever had"  
Louis laughed, slapping his chest slightly.  
"Self-praise stinks"  
Harry laughed and they continued eating in silence. Food and Harry. Louis' life was perfect right now. In the beginning he still had been nervous about doing anything with Harry because Harry was older and so beautiful and perfect and just so incredible. But in the meantime he didn't want to do anything else but spend time with his boyfriend. God, Harry was his boyfriend. Of all the people in the world, Harry was with Louis!

***

"Didn't you have lunch?", laughed Harry as Louis took something out of the basket again. He grinned chewing.  
"No, not really. I was too lazy to make anything, and in the end it's not that good anyway"  
Harry smiled and they were silent for a moment.  
"Harry?", Louis asked at some point, then took Harry's hand, which he looked at dreamily and played with the many rings on his beautiful fingers, before tracing the cross tattoo.  
"Would you like to sleep at my place the day after tomorrow?"  
Harry frowned.  
"What about-"  
"My mum is going on a shopping weekend tomorrow with Lottie to no idea where", he only now noticed that he didn't even know where they were going.  
"Oh. And your dad?"  
Louis didn't answer directly.  
"I don't know where he is. Mom keeps saying he's away on business, but that can't be. They fight all the time, if he's even there"  
"Hey"  
Louis looked at him. Harry smiled slightly and stroked Louis' cheek, which immediately gave off a pleasant tingling sensation throughout the 15-year-old's body.  
"I would love to come to you"  
Louis smiled immediately and cuddled up to his boyfriend again, continued eating. Or rather the last bite and thus finished. He sat up and drank something before he laid down again as before.  
"I'm glad. I was afraid you don't have time. Then maybe I would have asked Whitney or Niall, but it's always such a long story about their parents and whatnot, they think we're going to have a drug night"  
Harry laughed because of Louis' babbling and Louis smiled because he was the reason for Harry's beautiful laughter. And those dimples.  
"Just don't be alone, huh?"  
"You know me"  
"Always have somebody's attention?"  
Louis giggled and kissed Harry briefly. Because it was true. Louis hated someone else's attention, but among his few friends he liked it. And he loved it when Harry gave him his attention.  
Harry deepened the kiss and Louis responded happily. Harry's kisses were a dream. Just like Harry in general. The older one sat up a bit to lay Louis on his back and lean over him, lips always united with the smaller one. He hummed and buried his hands in Harry's soft hair. He felt Harry's hands moving up and down at his waist to his hips and had the feeling of collapsing with emotion. He was awakened from his dream world when he heard his ring tone. The two loosened up breathing heavily and Louis looked at him apologetically for a moment, cursing whoever called him. He grabbed the phone, which was lying next to him on the blanket (his leggings had no pockets) and then the person hung up, but he still saw that it was his sister. He sighed annoyed when he read her many messages.  
"Who was it?", Harry asked and kissed his cheek, then buried his face in Louis' neck.  
"Lottie", Louis answered, annoyed, opening up their chat.  
"She asks all the time...", Louis broke off, as Harry's lips laid on his collarbones, pulling the shirt down a little with his fingers on the collar.  
"She wants to know where I am and when I'll be back", he finally brought out the sentence and tried to come up with another excuse while he was so distracted.  
"You can sleep at my place if you like", Harry loosened his lips from Louis' skin and now leaned on his arms to look down at the younger one.  
"Really?"  
Louis immediately looked at him, a hopeful glimmer in his eyes. Harry just nodded, slightly smiling. Then he frowned.  
"Gemma's at a party and my mum's on a date with some guy she's interested in currently"  
Louis giggled at Harry's eye rolling. He thought it was so cute how Harry only wanted the best for his mum. He was so respectful and loving.  
"Kay, then I'll text her that I'm sleeping at Niall's", Louis decided and texted his sister exactly that without batting an eyelid. Then he turned off the sound, threw it somewhere near the basket before clutching his legs around Harry's hip.  
"Now come here", he said, and then he pulled Harry over to kiss him. Harry was surprised at first, then kissed back with a slight grin. Louis felt that and smiled into the kiss. He had never been so happy before. His life had never seemed perfect before. Until now. Until Harry came into his life and made it perfect.

Although he was soon to destroy it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not gonna lie it's fun to write Larry fluff. But it's even more fun to write it while knowing Harry's only acting. 
> 
> I'm a clown and you all sure are, too. We all know that.
> 
> ! If you have questions/remarks, don’t be scared to comment  
> I’m happy about every Kudos and comment <3  
> All the love xx  
> @runningwatermelon  
> (Twitter & Instagram: larrymelon28; Wattpad: runningwatermelon)


	23. ||21||

* a few days later - present day *

"Well, I thought it was funny", Camille shrugged.  
"And it's Louis' own fault for being the way he is"  
"For being gay?", Liam asked with raised eyebrows and she groaned annoyingly.  
"What does it matter now, it was only a post. And it's long gone"  
"I think it's more about how you deal with Harry's life"  
"Is he still angry?!"  
The panic in Camille's voice was palpable, and Liam rolled his eyes. He wasn't here at Harry's party to be all Camille, who only talked about Harry anyway.  
"I don't know. But why are you so surprised? How did you think he was gonna think about that?"  
Camille shrugged.  
"Don't think about things like that. And why are we talking about Louis Tomlinson again? He's been talked about way too much lately"  
"Just because you don't have all the attention", Liam said chuckling and she gave him a sarcastic smile. Then she let her eyes wander through the crowd.  
"Where is Harry anyway?", she said, then stopped before she groaned.  
"Is he serious?! Louis is here too? How dare he?"  
"Maybe Harry invited him? And was invited instead of inviting himself?"  
"Harry would have invited me anyway", Camille defended herself snappish, then crossed her arms in front of her chest and kept looking at Harry, who was standing with Louis.  
"I'm sure he just came here, believe me. After all, Harry is not gay, you should understand that at some point. Even Louis should understand that someday"

***

"What are you doing here?"  
Harry stood by Louis as soon as he entered the building. Louis had to smile when Harry beamed at him.  
"Don't flatter yourself, naive as always. I smile so no one will know I'm about to move again and not tell you my address. How dare you to just show up here?"  
In contrast to his friendly smile and body language, Harry sounded visibly pissed off and Louis' smile fell. He really thought Harry was serious about the smile.  
"I-I... I'm sorry, I forgot my key, and Lottie has a-"  
"How did you even know she was here?"  
"Snapchat card", Louis mumbled.  
"God, you're beyond help", he said, referring only to himself. Louis probably just wanted to see him anyway, not to see his sister, he thought.  
"But I don't come into the house-"  
"Shut up. I don't believe you. You seriously want more tweets about us?"  
Louis was about to defend himself, but then he kept quiet.  
"What?"  
Harry rolled his eyes.  
"Camille posted some shit on the page of our school paper"  
"What?! T-that means everybody here knows that-"  
"You're crazy? Yes"  
"Why is she doing this?!"  
Talk of the devil.  
"Louis"  
The smaller one looked first at Camille, then at her hand, which lay possessively on Harry's shoulder, then again in her face.  
"Camille, hey, I was just telling Louis he better-"  
"Why? I invited him", Liam stood next to them and Harry looked at him with big eyes.  
"Sorry?"  
He nodded, shrugging.  
"You two still get along, don't you? And I invited him over and said if he felt like it, he could come over"  
Louis didn't understand why he did it, but he was so grateful to Liam for saving his ass.  
"But you didn't mention inviting him earlier", Camille said, and Liam looked at her a bit annoyed.  
"I never said I didn't invite him. Maybe you were too distracted staring at Harry"  
Louis had to chuckle when he saw the look on Camille's face and she glowed at him immediately.  
"But this is not the place for Louis, it's much too-"  
"Don't exaggerate, I'll be careful", Liam interrupted Harry, put his arm around Louis' shoulders and pulled him to his side. Louis and Harry were both a little confused.  
"But if Harry don't want me to be-"  
"Then we'll get away from him, we won't bother you, Hazzabear", Liam said and was about to pass them.  
"What's all this about?"  
Harry held him and Liam shrugged his shoulders.  
"What, I can't spend time with him?"  
At that moment, Harry's expression changed, because he understood. Was Liam serious? Was that how he wanted to get into Louis' pants? All right, so if he was trying to get into Louis' pants and then failed miserably... then so be it.  
"Yes, I... sorry, I just thought maybe Louis wasn't comfortable"  
He would have fun watching Louis trying to get rid of Liam. Blame his sadism.  
"That figures. And if he wants to leave, he can still say so, hm?"  
Liam looked down at Louis, who only looked at Harry unsure and shrugged his shoulders. But Harry gave him an encouraging smile, making Louis even more confused. Why was Liam so nice? And why was it okay for Harry suddenly?  
"O-Okay? But Harry, if you don't want me to be here...", Louis then said, afraid that Harry would get angry with him if he stayed.  
"No, stay here. I'm glad", he said with a charming smile and Louis lost himself in his eyes, nodding dreamily. After all, he was now allowed to do that in public; everyone here knew he liked the taller one anyway.  
"Shall I lend you my camera for a photo, Louis? It'll last longer", Camille bitched and Louis blushed, looking at her.  
"I don't think I'd have to take a picture anymore; the way you're always hitting on Harry and running after him you sure did enough pics"  
She snorted insulted and Liam had to laugh.  
"I'm going to the bathroom", said Louis, because all he wanted to do was get away from that bitch. There's no way he'd let that bitch get away with that. After all, she was worse than him; at least he loved Harry and was not just horny.

***

As soon as he came out of the bathroom he was grabbed roughly by the arm and hissed at the long nails that were bored into his skin.  
"Now listen to me, I have enough", Camille hissed menacingly, but Louis wasn't afraid of her anyway.  
"I always knew you had a thing for Harry, but if you think that's going to keep me from having something with Harry, you're sadly wrong"  
And Louis was surprised. Because Camille wasn't as stupid as he had thought. Apparently, she was the only one who'd noticed anything in all that time.  
"I don't think it'll stop you from trying", Louis said cheekily.  
"Because I know what a selfish bitch you are"  
Camille looked completely shocked at Louis' smiling face.  
"How dare you?! You know how many times I had something with Harry? More times than you can dream of in your sick little dreams"  
Louis had to be careful not to blow it all out. Because the fact was, Louis had more say in this than Camille did. But he couldn't brag about it. And he hated it. How much he wanted to tell that bitch the truth.  
"Then you don't seem to be that great; you're not together, nor does he seem to be running after you as you run after him. If what you say is true at all. I doubt Harry ever really got involved with you, when I think about what happened at the gym"  
"Oh, please, so what? Any sex with a woman is more attractive to him than with a small boy like you"  
"I may be small, but I still have a bigger ass than you. Funny, isn't it?"  
"You little prick", Camille said, pulling on Louis' hair to push him against the wall.  
"Fuck!", Louis said painfully, wondering why there was no one up here. And what that bitch had thrown in to be that aggressive.  
"Oh, I always say that when Harry makes me come"  
"I'm gonna vomit", Louis said and Camille laughed up.  
"And if you just say that, the sex can't be good. I always scream when it makes me come"  
Louis only realized what he had said afterwards.

Fuck!

"In your perverted gay dreams?", Camille sulked and, through her stupidity, saved Louis' life.  
"Sad if the sex in my dreams is better than the sex in your real life", Louis said, still tilting his head slightly upwards because her hands were still holding his hair; now pulling it again.  
"Now you shut up and listen to me! Because you don't seem to be getting it right, here for you to take notes: Harry is straight and will never have something with you. So do us all a favor and fuck off out of his life!"  
"And by 'us', you mean the 'we're gonna keep chasing Harry until he gets pity and starts feeling sorry for us - bitches clan'?"  
Louis felt good seeing Camille getting that angry and how much he could provoke her.  
"If I find out somehow that you tried anything with Harry and pressed him, I'll finish you off. Believe me, I don't give a shit if it makes me look homophobic"  
"Just because I'm gay doesn't mean I'm not a man"  
Camille laughed again.  
"Tell me one thing about you that is manly"  
"Being manly has nothing to do with actually being a man"  
"Aww, you gonna give me a little sermon now?"  
"It's only the truth, bitch, and now let me go", he shoved Camille roughly off.  
"Touch me again and I'll kick your flat ass. Believe me, I don't give a shit if it makes me look misogynistic", he mimicked Camille's bitchy tone from earlier.  
"Because the fact is, I really don't like women like you. You're all the same"  
Camille glared at him and Louis walked right past her.  
"I'll show you, you faggot"  
Louis turned around.  
"Are you serious? You think that hurts me? It's rather amusing that you're now desperately trying to hurt me by insulting my sexuality. A quick update to your pea brain, we're in the 21st century"  
With that he turned around and went down the stairs. Yeah, Camille was definitely the worst woman he had ever met.

***

"Why are you so pissed now?", Liam asked, to which Harry sighed.  
"I'm not pissed. I just don't understand why you invited him. There are enough rumours going around about him, and he doesn't know anyone here"  
"I'll baby-sit him then", Liam shrugged.  
"Maybe that was my plan"  
"Are you serious? Liam, he's-"  
"Yeah yeah, he's shy and blah blah in love and all that shit. He's 16, he has no idea what love is. He's got a crush on you, it's not that strong"  
Harry had to chuckle. Because it wasn't just a little crush.  
"So, what are you gonna do now?"  
Liam shrugged and then looked around.  
"Where is he, anyway?"  
Harry watched Liam as he let his eyes wander through the people. He really was serious then; he really wanted something from Louis. He could not understand why, Liam had never shown any interest in boys. It was just very strange for Harry.  
"I don't know, Liam", he said, arms crossed over his chest.  
"So you do want him after all?", Liam smirked and looked at him again and from then on, Harry didn't care at all. Anyway, then he would really enjoy the show.  
"No, don't hold back. I just don't want you to hurt him"  
"Oh Hazzie"  
"Shut up", Harry growled and Liam looked at him somewhat surprised.  
"Oops, Harry you okay?"  
"I'm in a bad mood, yeah. I'm worried about Louis, he and Lottie are still fighting and-"  
"Have a drink first. And I'll take care of Louis, don't worry", Liam said and Harry followed Liam's gaze as he stared behind him. Louis had just come jumping down the stairs, running a hand through his frizzy hair and then pulling the overly long sleeves of the sweater down even further while looking around.  
"God, how could I have never noticed him?"  
Harry looked at Liam again and pressed his lips together.  
"Well, maybe this is just a phase"  
"I don't care what it is. God, he looks amazing in that sweater"  
Harry thought he didn't hear right.  
"Yeah, I gave him that one. And Louis is pretty, yes", he said, because my goodness, it was true. Louis was an eye candy; otherwise Harry wouldn't fuck him.  
"You'll excuse me", Liam said in a raised tone and set off for Louis. Harry looked at him for a moment and saw how Liam spoke to Louis, who looked up at him, then said something and wanted to look around. Liam held his face and stood in front of Louis, so that Harry didn't see him anymore. And then he realized that Louis had asked for him and Liam wanted to stop him from seeing Harry.  
Harry chuckled amused and pushed himself away from the wall he had leaned against before he walked to the kitchen. Louis would never have anything with Liam. He knew that Louis only belonged to Harry and that Louis wanted that, too. They both knew that.

***

"Louis!"  
Louis turned all the way to Liam and looked up at him with his blue eyes.  
"Where have you been for so long?", Liam asked smiling and Louis wanted to answer, then felt Liam's hand on his lower back, which immediately made him uncomfortable. It was strange to feel this hand, only Harry's hand had been lying there like that before and that should be the  
only one.  
"Have you seen Harry?", he asked, politely trying not to show how uncomfortable he felt. And even if he knew that he was not allowed to speak to Harry, he wanted to know where he was. After all, he was already at a party again, which he should not have done. Liam changed his position and turned Louis towards him.  
"I don't know, it doesn't matter. He didn't even want you to be here"  
"Speaking of", Louis got distracted.  
"Why did you say you invited me?"  
Liam laughed briefly, then shrugged.  
"I thought about it, but I figured you wouldn't want to come anyway. And then when you were here and I saw that I could help, I said so. Was sure you don't want to look stupid in front of Harry, huh?"  
Louis was silent for a moment. He should have known Harry would never have invited him. But apparently, Harry believed Liam thought he had. So everything was fine, and he could stay here, right? Whatever the reason was that Liam was being so nice.  
"But why are you so nice?"  
"Haven't I ever been nice?"  
"No! I didn't mean that... I don't know, shouldn't matter to you"  
"Nonsense, I care about you, Louis", Liam said nicely and his brown eyes shone at him. Louis returned his smile slightly, because it was good to hear that you were not irrelevant.  
"Thank you, Liam"  
"Come on, let's get something to drink first", Liam said, and he had already put his arm around Louis to lead him into Harry's new kitchen.

***

There, to Liam's ignorance, was Harry and Louis would have noticed him anyway. But he saw Pete.  
"Pete?"  
Pete, who was standing with Harry and some other people, turned around.  
"Louis!", he said enthusiastically, then gave the smaller one a big hug.  
"Glad to see you, how are you? My arse was so fucking sore!"  
Louis laughed when he saw the looks of some people in the kitchen, hugged him too.  
"Hi, Peeete, I'm doing pretty good. You?"  
Pete let go of him, but he was still glowing.  
"Couldn't be better now"  
Louis blushed and laughed, slapped him on the chest. And though he didn't mean to, it seemed like he was flirting with Pete. Harry crossed his arms in front of his chest. Usually he never paid much attention to Louis in these things, but with Pete, he was always so obvious.  
Meanwhile, Pete gave him a cup.  
"What do you want to drink?"  
Louis shrugged insecurely.  
"Mezzo"  
"Are you serious?", Liam asked and Pete looked at him briefly, then at Louis, nodded and gave him first Coke, then Fanta in the cup.  
"If he doesn't want to. He's only 17"  
"16", Louis corrected, and Pete looked at him in surprise, gave him the cup.  
"Really? Fuck, you're so young"  
Louis rolled his eyes, sipped the cup.  
"Today's youth"  
Pete shook his head, grabbed himself a beer.  
"You know what I looked like at 16? Horror. And you lookthe opposite"  
Louis had to laugh, because Pete's compliments were anything but unpleasant or artificial. They were meant kindly.  
"I called you one of the prettiest boys in our school the other day, so it couldn't have been that  
bad"  
"That was later", Pete said, drinking from the beer.  
"Still"  
And Louis was glad Liam was talking to some other people in the kitchen by now. He hadn't felt as comfortable with someone other than Harry as he had with Pete for a long time. He didn't   
really have anyone else but his crush anymore. And well, he didn't really have him either.

***

Lottie laughed, maybe a bit too much as it hadn't been that funny.  
"She was just like: 'God my son is moving out, I'm going to buy my whole household again, so he still knows everything from home and is not confused by new products. He won't understand how it works anyway'", laughed Harry and Lottie shook her head.  
"Your mum is crazy"  
"I know, she's the best"  
Lottie put back the framed picture that Anne had given Harry. The two of them were in the upper hallway because Lottie wanted to see some more of the house. Although she probably wouldn't remember properly anyway; they had already had a bit to drink. Especially her.  
"I want my own house too", she said as they walked along.  
"I can't take it at home any more"  
"Why? I mean you have room"  
"You too!", Lottie laughed.  
"You have an even bigger house"  
"I know it didn't go as I planned", Harry laughed slightly.  
"But, yes, I was pleased anyway"  
"Harryyy", Lottie then said and grabbed his wrist, for which the latter looked at her questioningly.  
"First things first. Where's your room?"  
Harry laughed and walked ahead.  
"Come on"  
She giggled and followed him.  
"But I'm not finished yet", Harry said as he opened the door and she followed him.  
"What's not finished here?", she said somewhat speechlessly, for the room was absolutely beautiful.  
"And he of course takes the terrace"  
Harry smiled slightly and stood with his back to the glass door, which he opened behind his back. He grinned slightly, his dimples adorning his cheeks.  
"Yeah, I couldn't help it"  
He stepped outside and Lottie followed him immediately, then sighed.  
"You have such a perfect life"  
Harry laughed. Because really... it was laughable.  
"I haven't. Nobody's got it perfect, Lottie. But we all have it pretty good"  
Lottie hummed, walked towards him and put her arms around his waist.  
"Well, if you're not gonna have a perfect life, so fine. But you are perfect", she said with a grin and pressed herself against him a little.  
"You are exaggerating", Harry said with a slight smile and Lottie realised again how much she still wanted him. Even though so much time had passed. He was just so irresistible with that look, that style, that selflessness and modesty.  
"I do not", Lottie said laughing and he rolled his eyes while he ran a hand through his hair, whereupon her eyes laid immediately on them.  
"Harry?", she then asked serious and he looked at her questioningly before she fell silent for a moment.  
"You...", she started, then stopped before she fell silent again.  
"Remember when we had sex?"  
Harry's eyes got bigger and he laughed slightly.  
"Uh, okay, Lottie, that was unexpected"  
She also had to laugh a little, but then she remained serious.  
"You were my first, Harry", she said, stepping very close to Harry, her arms a little tighter around Harry's waist.  
"I wanted something from you then, we had sex and I thought that would be enough. But it wasn't"  
"Lottie", Harry said and reached for Lottie's hands, which were on his back.  
"That was a mistake back then and we shouldn't have done that"  
"Shut up, that's not true. I only wanted it with you"  
Lottie leaned a little bit to Harry, who leaned back a little bit.  
"You're Gemma's best friend, Lottie"  
"We're not that good anymore. So what the hell, who cares?"  
While she was saying this, Harry took Lottie's hands off him and took a step away.  
"Whatever. We shouldn't have done it then and we won't do anything now. And I mean, you know me, I don't usually do this sort of thing just-"  
"God, that's why!", Lottie whined, and she stood right in front of him again, this time with her arms around his neck.  
"Fuck, that's why I want you so bad. Do you know how hot it is that you are the way you are?!"  
"Then I'm sorry, but-"  
"Stop it", Lottie said and pulled Harry down to her by the neck, whereupon the taller one immediately stepped away from her and loosened her arms.  
"Lottie, stop. Besides, you have a boyfriend"  
She rolled her eyes.  
"Geez, I don't care about that when it comes to you. I don't love Ryan anyway, I thought I did, but I don't because of you. I've never only had eyes for him"  
"Are you telling me you're into me?", Harry asked stunned and she had to laugh.  
"What? God, no. No, I just want to fucking sleep with you. I'm not my brother after all", she said then and rolled her eyes.  
"Lottie, he-"  
"Shut up, we talked about this... On the other hand, maybe I should just say that I'm madly in love with you, so you can't really say no because you don't want to hurt me", Lottie said with a grin and he held her back as she took another step towards him.  
"Lottie, we've talked about this. The thing with Louis was complicated and difficult. Please just stop it, we're not going to have anything together"  
"Do you want it?", Lottie asked, looking at his lips.  
"What?"  
"Well, if it weren't for all the drama with Louis. Would you want it then?"  
"You know me, I-"  
"Yeah, yeah, come on", Lottie said, wavering away.  
"Then stop looking like that, man", she laughed and he sighed.  
"Please don't be mad, I don't want you to be-"  
"Hurt, I know. And how could I be mad at you when you're such a good soul", she sighed.  
"I only hate you for being so cute"  
"I can live with that", Harry grinned slightly and Lottie laughed, then hugged him as she sought physical contact with the boy.  
"Urgh, I hate you", she said as she smelled him. Why was this man so attractive?!  
"I'm sorry", Harry chuckled and then let go of her.

And Harry didn't really care how people changed around him. But he had already begun to realise that Lottie had changed dramatically. Only a year ago she had been really sweet, Harry had had something with her, because he was sure she wasn't the kind of person who would spread it to the word. And now she was always bragging (even if it was only to her close friends) and Harry always had to justify himself. And of course he suspected that it might be due to Camille's influence. After all, he had never done anything with her, because it was inevitable that she would tell everyone. And... no, it didn't really hurt him, like he was hurt by those bitches like that. But still, he felt like a trophy. And he couldn't shake the feeling that maybe Lottie didn't like him as much as she did, but that it was all about having something with him. Just to tell the world and especially to prove something to Camille.

"So, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go get the sex I'm not getting from you", Lottie said.  
"Lottie, break up with Ryan if you don't love him. He doesn't deserve this"  
"Shut up, Styles. If I can't have you, I'll just take what's left over. And he's not here today anyway, because he can't", she said and even sounded a bit annoyed.  
Harry sighed, but was only annoyed and frustrated inside. The only reason why he hadn't thrown Lottie on the bed long ago was that Ryan. Somehow it would come out anyway, just because Lottie was such a blabbermouth and he would look like the biggest asshole. It'd be almost like that time with Ashlyn, where he had to pretend they were together. So he would have to pretend that he loved Lottie so much that he was willing to hurt Ryan. And Louis, too. Everyone would think he was a bad person who had sex with a friend's sister who was into him. Because even though he might was a trophy for her, of course he still wanted to have sex.

"Harry- Oops, didn't know there was a romance being filmed here"  
Camille immediately stopped in the patio door frame. Harry immediately took a step away from Lottie.  
"Nonsense, that was just-"  
"What is it, Camille? You're interrupting", Lottie snapped and Harry looked at her with surprise. When did she start talking to her like that?  
"I'm interrupting? Tell that Ryan who is downstairs and is making a mega-razzle where you are and what you are doing here", Camille barked back and Lottie's eyes widened.  
"What? Ryan's here?"  
"Mhm, and he's not happy. Didn't you say he couldn't make it? Cause apparently he didn't know Harry was having a party", Camille put a hand on her hip.  
"Lottie, what's that about?", Harry asked and she looked up at him.  
"Yes, Lottie, what is this?", grinned Camille gloating.  
"Bitch", Lottie just hissed.  
"Lottie. Why?", Harry asked as she rushed past Camille.  
"Because I...", she turned to him with a sweep.  
"My God, I wanted to be alone with you, Harry", she said before storming into and out of the room. Camille looked at her with a smirk on her lips, arms crossed in front of her chest.  
"What a shame", she pouted, before turning to Harry, who was looking at her.  
"Oh, Harry, hun", she said and stepped in front of him.  
"Did you honestly believe her that Ryan was busy?"  
He shrugged his shoulders and looked down at her.  
"Yes, why would I have thought otherwise?"  
"Because everybody knows she wants something from you", she laughed, and Harry was really surprised, he had actually believed Lottie that Ryan didn't have time. He really fell for that? God Lottie was really like the others by now.  
"I don't understand what's going on. Ryan is such a cool guy and-"  
"Shut up", she put a finger on his mouth with a chuckle and he looked at her questioningly. Of course he knew he was better than Ryan. Well, the pretend-Harry, at least.  
"Of course she'd rather have you than Ryan. Everyone wants you more than someone else. Even boys by now", she had to laugh and Harry was about to roll his eyes. Because it really didn't make any difference if it was a boy or a girl.  
"It doesn't make any difference", he said and took Camille's hand away.  
"Yeah, except you're only into one gender", she laughed.  
"Has Louis ever tried anything?", she then asked.  
"Camille seriously, this conversation is really gonna cringe"  
"Why, I'm just asking. If he ever tried anything, you can report him, you know?"  
"Then I might as well report you or Lottie"  
Camille laughed again.  
"Are you defending him now?"  
"Well, I mean he-"  
"Shut up, it doesn't matter, I don't care", she said and Harry was getting fucked up with her telling him to shut up all the time.  
"More importantly, what did Lottie just say?"  
"It's really none of your business", he just said, looking straight ahead at the view. It was really beautiful. He loved that view, so he was glad his new house had almost the same view as the old one at home. He associated a lot with it, especially his childhood... when everything seemed so simple.  
"The view is so amazing", he said in his thoughts. Camille turned around for a second, then back to him.  
"Yeah, yeah, so? What did she say? That she likes you?"  
Harry looked back at her. Of course, she wasn't interested in the view.  
"No, she was just talking to me"  
"About what?"  
"About the past"  
"And what-"  
"Camille, please", Harry said, proud not to have said it angrily. He had said it seriously because he was serious about it. He wasn't acting. He was suddenly feeling so bad. He had actually thought about sex before; with Lottie and with Camille. But this conversation had just gotten him so down. Maybe because he realized again that everyone only liked him for the person he wasn't. That everyone only wanted something with him because he looked like that and seemed perfect. The main thing is to have something with him so you can show off. Nobody asked him how he was. Nobody cared.

Except one person. But he didn't think about this person. He never thought of the fact that there was one person who loved him for exactly what and who he was. It was like Harry always had one hand in front of his eyes. He only saw his sad life, how he was liked by everyone, only for his pretended ego, how abnormal he was and how everyone hated him, including him.

Everyone hated him. Except-

***

Louis was just about to go to the bathroom when Camille stormed out of one of the rooms. He wasn't even going to say anything, she was already shouting at him when he was halfway up the stairs.  
"Don't you dare try anything", she hissed and he looked at her a little startled.  
"What?"  
But she didn't answer, just stomped down the stairs.  
Well, she's in a good mood, he thought and went to the toilet. But when he walked back past the same door, he remembered what Camille had said. Didn't that mean Harry was in the room? Maybe. He hadn't seen him downstairs anywhere. Had something happened between them? But then Camille would never have been like that. Maybe he sent her away.

Curious, he opened the big door. And there he was. At first Louis thought nobody was in the room, but then he had seen Harry's silhouette through the window pane in time. He had to smile because he looked so beautiful even from behind. His long legs, his broad shoulders and his ass... ...yeah, that's right.

Louis quietly closed the door and walked to the patio door. As soon as he stepped outside, a light breeze came towards him and he only now realized how much he needed fresh air.  
"Harry", he said softly, and only then did the older one seem to notice him, disengaging from his rigidity into the distance.  
"Louis", he said somewhat surprised and Louis had to smile slightly as Harry did not seem to be annoyed.  
"What are you doing here?", he giggled and stepped straight in front of him, then took his hands in his.  
"Nothing", the taller replied absently and Louis followed his gaze behind him.  
"Wow, the view is even more beautiful than at your mum's", he then said overwhelmed and Harry just nodded and it sounds strange, but it made some small part of him a bit happy that someone else noticed.  
"Come on!", Louis said enthusiastically and dragged Harry to the glass railing. The latter let himself be pulled along and he did the same to Louis and crossed his arms before supporting them on the railing and leaning against it.  
"I want a view like that someday when I move out. I don't want to give that up. And then I'll make my room right there, too. Then I can watch the sunset every evening until the lights are always so beautiful"  
Louis said that dreamily, smiling as he imagined himself with Harry. Together on the terrace, happy, together, married, everything. Harry, on the other hand, looked at Louis and had to smile slightly at Louis' radiant gaze.  
"Citchy"  
Louis giggled and looked at Harry.  
"Yes, isn't it?"  
The two of them looked at each other briefly before he stood straight again, turned Harry to himself and took his hands. Harry stopped looking at him, turned to his right and looked at the view.  
"What's going on?", Louis asked softly, then looked at Harry's chest and saw lipstick. He frowned, wiping it with the sleeve of his oversized sweater. Harry frowned and watched him.  
"Red lipstick...?", Louis then said as he looked at the stain on the sleeve.  
"Was that Camille?"  
"Huh? Yeah, I guess so. I mean yes, from her", Harry said, looking away again. Louis looked up at him sadly. Harry seemed sad, or at least thoughtful. Not happy. And that made Louis sad too. Sadder than he usually was. Because Harry shouldn't be sad, he didn't deserve this. Louis deserved it, but not Harry.  
And he noticed that Harry didn't even remember who had kissed him, so many annoying bitches were doing it now. They touched him and used him out of selfishness.  
"Harry", he said sadly, squeezing his hands tighter.  
"How are you doing? You seem so thoughtful"  
Harry looked at him.  
"You're the first person to ask me that", he laughed bitterly and Louis understood.  
"Oh, no", he said in panic and immediately hugged Harry.  
"No, no, no. Stop!"  
Harry looked at him confused, even hugged him back. Everyone likes to be hugged in certain situations, don't they? Even the worst person on earth.  
"What?"  
"Don't start like that, Haz" Louis panicked, his cheek pressed against Harry's chest, eyes narrowed in pain. The only thing that hurt him more than when Harry treated him badly was when Harry was sad.  
"You do matter, there are so many who love you and care about you. Please Harry, you of all people deserve to be happy, please don't let yourself be dragged down just because not everyone asks how you are. People don't think, but there are people who care about you. Your mum loves you, Gemma loves-"  
"Well, first, you're exaggerating. And they must love me, she's my mum, and Gemma's-"  
"I love you too and I'm not related to you", Louis looked up at him and this time Harry didn't know what to say.  
"And now you can't say I love the wrong Harry. I loved the wrong Harry, but I love the real Harry too. I love you just the way you are, you hear me? And you're so wonderful and beautiful and... shit, Haz, you're even more beautiful than the view"  
Harry had to laugh and Louis had to giggle, buried his face in the elder's chest. He was always proud of himself when he made his love laugh.  
"I don't want you to think you're not worth it. Because you deserve to be happy and to hear every day, every minute, every second how much you're worth. Not for your looks or your money or anything else. But for who you are. In the aggregate"  
Harry didn't know what to say. Because what Louis said wasn't even true.  
"You only say that"  
"No Haz, I-"  
"Shut up"  
Harry pushed Louis away, causing him to look at him in despair.  
"Even Liam says you only think you love me. You have no idea what love is, Louis. Neither of us do. You keep telling yourself that, or you have no idea what you're doing. You could never love me the way you know me"  
"Bullshit, what are you talking about?! Did Liam put you up to this or what? You might believe Liam more than me, but I know what I feel! Why else would I be like this with you?! Never is this just an annoying crush on you when I like you so much for over a year and like you so much even when you are the way you are! Fuck Harry, I like you more than myself!"

Harry was silent, just looked away with folded arms. Because what could you say, if someone said something like that to you? He didn't know these things. God, he was really just a kid himself.

"l... I'm sorry, I didn't mean to shout at you", Louis apologized. Why did he apologize now? You don't apologize after saying something like that. But Louis did. Louis was a too good soul. At least when it came to Harry.  
"I just can't bear it if you don't like yourself. And you should finally know 100 percent that I bloody love you"  
Harry sighed.  
"I'll never understand that. Because I don't understand you. God, I often don't even understand myself"  
Then he looked at Louis and both of them knew it was true. Harry would never understand. He would never understand how to love him for who he was.  
"Why do you love me?", Harry asked honestly.  
"Why don't you love Pete? Or anyone else who could say it back and make you happy? I'll never be able to treat you the way he treats you, Louis"

And what he said, he had never said before. He had actually spoken the truth: Louis had to let go of Harry to be happy.

"Harry, you make me happy!", Louis said immediately.  
"No matter what you think. No one will ever make me as happy as you make me. You gave me my first kiss, my first time, my first relationship, my first love. I will always love you, and I know you will never love me. Because you can't. Now. I'm sure that someday you'll be ready. Maybe later, if your therapy improves. Then you will fall in love and become happy and be loved as the person you are", Louis said, even had to smile, simply because he was talking about how Harry could become happy. Even though it wouldn't be Louis, Harry would fall in love with.

He put his hands on Harry's chest and then looked up at him again.  
"I love you and that will probably never change. Even more, words can't explain how much I'm in love with you"  
Harry was silent and Louis knew there was nothing he could say anyway.  
"And I'll always be here for you, no matter what", he said, looking at his own hands.  
"I-I mean, as long as you still have contact with me. But... But even after that I'll always be here for you if you need anything"  
They heard Harry's room door slam and Harry cursed, ran immediately to the door and opened it to look out into the hall. And the beautiful, honest moment was ruined.

"Damn it", he hissed, and there was Louis standing behind him, looking at him with concern.  
"What's the matter?"  
"Somebody heard that"  
Louis sighed.  
"I'm sure it was just the wind"  
"Didn't you close the door earlier?"  
"Oh... yes..."  
Harry cursed again and Louis took his arm.  
"But everyone here knows how I feel about you anyway-"  
"That's not what I'm afraid of", Harry said and freed his arm, because of course he wasn't concerned about Louis and his privacy.  
"Whoever heard that might have heard me talking to you, or heard you talking about our relationship or that we have sex and if that person is such an annoying blabbermouth-"  
"But-"  
Harry sighed annoyed, stormed out of the room and left Louis behind, who looked at him sadly. Never before had he met a person who was so attentive to what others said and thought about him. And with Harry you'd think he was not like that person.  
But his real personality was the exact opposite.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Coucou!
> 
> Just wanted to point out that Harry and Louis are a mix of me lmao.
> 
> Have you ever been in love?
> 
> ! If you have questions/remarks, don’t be scared to comment  
> I’m happy about every Kudos and comment <3  
> All the love xx  
> @runningwatermelon  
> (Twitter & Instagram: larrymelon28; Wattpad: runningwatermelon)


	24. ||22||

Louis saw Pete standing in the living room from behind and smiled slightly. He was in desperate need of a hug. And he didn't think he could expect one from Harry. So he went over to the boy and snuggled up against him from behind, interrupting his conversation with a mate by turning back.  
"Hi"  
Louis was looking up at him with a grin, still arms around his waist. Pete smiled slightly and turned to him, shutting out his buddy completely. Louis saw the look on his face and had to laugh.  
"Sorry to interrupt, I-"  
"No, it's allright", Pete said immediately, holding Louis' arms so he couldn't get his arms off him. Louis smiled and Pete stroked his hair.  
"How are you? Are you allright?"  
Surprised, Louis looked up at him.  
"Huh? Uh, yeah, why?"  
Pete didn't say anything, but he was interrupted anyway.  
"Hey, guys!"  
A girl was bawling through a megaphone. Whoever brings a megaphone to a houseparty.  
The girl was standing on the table, getting the attention of those in the living room and a few in the kitchen who were standing by the door frame.  
"So first a big thank you to Mr. Payne, who's throwing the party because Harry was too shy to do this"  
The crowd laughed and roared and Louis saw Liam laughing and patting Harry on the back, who laughingly crossed his arms in front of his chest.  
"We know you're not a show-off, Harry. So you can have a party more often, that doesn't change our opinion of you", the girl grinned and almost fell off the table, hadn't someone standing in front of the table put a hand out to her where she could hold on to in time. She laughed at the shocked sounds from the crowd and stood upright again.  
"Sorry, I'm a bit tipsy", she laughed and Louis wondered why she had taken the megaphone in the first place. What did she have to say?  
"To all who wonder what a pig like me is doing up here", she read Louis' thoughts. Well, except for the pig, the girl was really pretty. Not that clichéd pretty, but she was special, Louis thought. And he remembered this special face. But how did he know her?  
"I've just been forced, truth or dare, to tell you that I had my first time exactly one year ago", she bawled and laughed as the crowd responded with cheers and Louis frowned. Why did this laugh look so familiar to him?  
The crowd quietened a bit and she kept talking.  
"A long time ago I made a promise with my best friend at the time. It was the day my parents split up and the imagination for me on men suddenly changed. I was sweet fourteen at the time and he was only ten years old at the time, but he was mentally at my age. Or I on his"  
Everyone laughed except Louis. He recognized her.

No. Impossible!

"We swore at that time never to let anyone fuck with us and only do what we want. We both knew that we would surely have sex one day, but we promised not to do it before the age of 18 and only if we knew the person for a long time and only if we were together with this person", she laughed slightly, you could see that this memory meant a lot to her despite her high alcohol level.  
"And I just have heard that this friend of mine is also here. And that's why I want to tell you: Hey, I have kept our virgin codex! Louis, I had my first time at 18 with my boyfriend!"  
Everything cheered and Louis blushed when people looked at him. Fuck. This was embarrassing.  
"And I'm still with him", Janina shouted across the crowd, looking around.  
"Louis, where are you?"  
Most made room so Janina could see the boy from the table, she beamed.  
"Louis! How are you?! You look great"  
Louis gave her a thumbs up, a small smile on her lips.  
"Great! I'll be right with you. I actually wanted to say something, since so many are already listening to me here. I have in my teenage years, and I think that many went through that, always thought I had to have my first time at 16. I always paid attention to what the media was saying and when a friend of mine had her first time, I thought I had to have mine soon, too. But through my best friends I have heard over and over again that a person doesn't care about such things. Sex is not the world, friends. Well, sometimes maybe"  
The crowd bawled and she laughed.  
"But the point is, you don't have to go crazy because of that. And by our promise, Louis, I kept telling myself that, practically speaking, I wasn't 'allowed' to do it anyway. I think it saved me a lot of time and made my first time perfect. Even though we've lost touch, Louis, haha. Do whatever you feel comfortable doing and don't let anybody force you, guys"  
The crowd cheered and she laughed.  
"To the virgins! I'm sure there are proud virgins here. So who's up to show and prove that you're just human and that it's just another intimate step in your life and an experience and nothing more?"  
In fact, a few, part girls, part boys, raised their hand. But Louis gulped. He felt sick as hell and he felt so shit. He had forgotten all of this, had forgotten Janina. She had thought about it all these years and he just forgot her. Besides, he looked around and was sure everyone in the room was expecting to see him raising his hand. So timidly he did so. What kind of rumours would arise if he didn't raise his hand?  
"Louis!", Janina smiled, as if she had only been waiting for his finger.  
"I'm proud of you", she said in such a loving way (although she was quite drunk) that Louis got even worse from guilt. Then her look changed.  
"Speaking of which... I mentioned I found out Louis was here. The way I found out was less than pleasing. Guys, some people here don't seem to know the word privacy. And when you learn something about someone, it doesn't mean that it's intended. At this point I think I have the right to speak the truth: Camille, you are a backstabber"  
The crowd became loud again, some laughed, shouted 'Ooooh' and Louis made big eyes. Camille would kill him. But then again... she deserved it.  
"Wherever you are", Janina kept talking.  
"Maybe she's just fucking around again, but she has no right to make fun of people who still know what love is these days... Stop doing that shit and keep your filthy fingers out of other people's lives. You have more enemies than you think. Have fun now", she said smiling and climbed off the table. Louis felt like he was about to puke. After five years Janina actually came back into his life and defended him here in front of all these people and he? Had forgotten and destroyed the only thing left of their friendship in the last years.

Sad he wanted to look at Harry, but he wasn't standing where he had before. But he saw Liam, who watched with an amused expression how Camille complained about Janina's speech and bitched around. God, Louis was such a bad person. What was he doing with the people around him? Janina and Camille fought because of him, Camille hated him... He went to the two fighters with determination.  
"Janina?"  
Camille fell silent, because she had talked the whole time to Janina, who had only folded her arms in front of her chest and had been quiet.  
"Hey Louis", she grinned and hugged him.  
"That's so cute. Be honest, Louis. You told her to say that because you were too scared to stand there", Camille sulked and Louis looked at her somewhat hurt. He couldn't defend himself right now, he was too angry at himself.  
"Shut up. Why do you always go for the weaker ones?", Janina defended him calmly.  
"The weaker ones? I swear to you, he has probably already tried to rape Harry or lock him up somewhere nobody would find him"  
"Then he would have accused him in for sure, I think Harry is smart enough"  
"You've known him for exactly how long?"  
Camille smiled and Janina shrugged.  
"So? What does that have to do with it? Just because you want something from Harry?"  
"Well, unlike that little dwarf, I have a chance with him"  
"When are you going to stop this?!"  
Louis had enough.  
"All the time you're complaining about me and being rude to me, I have just as much right to have feelings!"  
"Camille never thinks about feelings", Janina said, still the calmest of the three.  
"I just want to help him, because Harry is not a faggot"  
"You can call me whatever you want, it doesn't hurt me, slut", Louis said and Janina was surprised because she found it quite hurtful how Camille talked to him.  
"Are you used to it or what?"  
"I'd rather be what you call a 'faggot' than a slut like you. And no wonder I'm gay just looking at you. Then I can only be gay"  
Janina had to laugh and Camille almost burst with rage.  
"That's right, that's what I said. But unlike you, I don't say things like that out of habit. I only say it to you because you always insult me, so... Maybe if you tried to be nicer, people would like you"  
"And you might want to get yourself an operation, then you'd have a chance that Harry likes you", Camille smiled bitchily.  
"Where is the great Harry anyway? Shouldn't he know that you are directly causing stress?", Janina asked annoyed.  
"He's not Camille's babysitter", Louis just said, but looked around for the boy as well.  
"Whatever"  
Janina turned to Louis.  
"I think it's cool that you're staying true to our promise like I did", she said while hugging Louis.  
"He doesn't need that, he won't find anyone anyway"  
Louis looked at Camille, wishing he could tell her the truth once again.  
"Don't you have somewhere to be to stick your flat ass out?"  
Insulted, Camille snorted and stomped off, Janina laughed.

"Oh Louis, you're still so savage"  
Louis giggled and the two broke away.  
"You look so sweet, I knew you would be so pretty later", Janina said and Louis blushed, looking at his feet.  
"Thank you"  
"You're 16 now, aren't you?"  
Louis nodded and she sighed.  
"Please tell me you don't think you have to have your first time now. Seriously, I had serious issues with that"  
"Uh, no, don't worry", Louis chuckled, feeling the lump in his throat.  
"Good. Because seriously, it's unnecessary. You don't have to stay true to our promise completely as I did, but... but it doesn't hurt, you know? And please do it with the right person. Jesus, I couldn't bear letting my baby get hurt"  
"Is it possible that you only talk about first times when you're drunk?"  
Janina laughed and nodded.  
"Yeah, apparently. Come, let's sit down somewhere and talk about old times"

Louis wanted to nod, but then saw Harry. He was standing by the stairs, looking at him. He nodded up and Louis swallowed, looking back at his former best and only friend.  
"Can it wait? I, um..."  
"What? No time for an old friend?"  
Janina laughed, although you could tell she was a little hurt.  
"No, of course! But I've got to do something first, I'll catch up with you later, okay? Promise"  
"Okayy, but don't let yourself be deflowered", joked Janina and Louis forced himself to laugh. Shit, he was such a bad person, he thought when Janina left him alone.  
When he looked back to the stairs, Harry had disappeared. But Louis knew where he was. So he went to the stairs, was about to go up, but was held by the shoulder.  
"Hey, where are you going?"  
Pete smiled and hugged him already. Again, Louis swallowed. He didn't deserve all those people who were nice to him. All he did was lie to them.  
"Upstairs for a minute. I'll be right back"  
"Hey, you okay? Pretty hard what Janina pulled off, right?"  
"What do you mean?"  
"Well, because of Camille. And how she said private things about you without you knowing. I mean, just because she stayed true to the promise doesn't mean you have to, right? I think it's a sweet idea and a sweet story, but you were ten, and well... you don't have to stick to anything, your life has probably changed since then"  
Pete managed to put a slight smile on Louis' lips. Because he told him it was still his business.  
"Thanks, Pete. Really, that means a lot to me"  
Pete smiled, hugged him.  
"I know. Just pay attention"  
"To what?" Louis said into his chest and Pete was silent for a moment.  
"To you", he said, and Louis was silent as well.  
"I'll try", he said softly, but Pete heard it and kissed him on the hair.  
"I-I really have to go upstairs for a moment now"  
Louis looked up at him with slightly reddened cheeks. Pete nodded and let go before the smaller one jumped up the stairs.

***

Sighing, Louis turned to the door, wanted to close it. By then he could already feel one of Harry's hands on his hip, while the other one next to his head was closing the door and then locking it before both hands next to Louis' head were resting on the door.  
"Virgin codex, huh?"  
Harry chuckled in his ear and Louis immediately got goose bumps from his deep voice, looked at his feet, nodded slightly and Harry laughed slightly.  
"How cute", he said, before his lips touched Louis' neck, curled into a smirk when he saw the effect he had on the smaller one.  
"Why didn't you stay true to it?"  
Louis could literally hear his grin and sighed.  
"You know that"  
"Hmm, not sure"  
Harry grinned further and pressed himself closer to Louis so that he was pressed against the door a little.  
"I mean, it's cute you broke the virgin codex because of me", he kept making fun of Louis. Louis sighed and then remained silent for a moment, still looking at his shoes.  
"When did you have your first time again?", he asked softly, trying not to imagine Harry sleeping with someone else.  
"Hm? At 16", he said, distracted by running his hands along Louis' waist and hips. Louis wanted to nod, but then he stopped when something occurred to him.  
"What?", he asked, trying not to distract himself from Harry's breath on his ear.  
"You... You told me you were in your early 15s"  
"Oh, really?", Harry asked, but Louis could hear in his amused voice that he wasn't taking it seriously. He turned in his grip and looked up at him.  
"What the hell was that?!"  
"My God, you were insecure anyway, I just wanted to calm you down"  
Harry chuckled and leaned over to kiss his neck, pressing his hips against Louis'.  
"That's not fair", Louis brought out after a moan.  
"I thought if you were 15, it wouldn't be strange if I had my first time at 15, too"  
"It's still not strange, you heard what the sweet Janina said. Everyone should do it, if he feels ready"  
"I-I wasn't really...", Louis started, but fell silent when Harry kissed him, replied anyway. He sighed because it felt so good to kiss Harry again and pulled him closer by his neck. The kiss became wilder and Louis moaned against Harry's mouth because it was as if Harry was controlling Louis' body. And when Harry lifted him up without any problems and pressed him against the door again, that was it for him. He was so turned on that Harry could just lift him up as if he weighed nothing.  
"Fuck, Harry"  
Louis moaned and threw his head back when he felt how much he wanted him. Harry smirked, kept kissing his neck as he carried the smaller one to bed.  
"It's only natural that I...", Louis fell silent as Harry took off his shirt. God, he wanted to spend the rest of his life staring and drooling at Harry.  
"Feel bad", he could speak again and Harry rolled his eyes, pulled Louis' sweater over his head to throw it away.  
"No, that was forever ago and you didn't even were in contact anymore"  
"But morally, it was wrong", Louis told his thoughts, when Harry pulled his trousers off his legs.  
"So morally...", Harry said and raised Louis' arm. Even with his make-up on... if you knew it, you could tell.  
"You're doing many things wrong in your life anyway"  
Louis was silent.  
"You too", he dared to say and Harry smiled bitterly.  
"I know"  
Then he opened up his own trousers and Louis watched him thoughtfully. Which was worse? Knowing it and not doing anything or not even realizing you did something wrong?  
He was interrupted when Harry bent over him and lay between his legs.  
"Stop thinking", he said before his lips were on Louis'. For that was what Harry did every day. Not to think about what he was doing. What he did to the people around him, what he did to himself by slandering his entire life. But through his lips, Louis actually stopped thinking. Even a good soul like his could be interrupted by their thoughts about what they were doing wrong at that moment.

Through the lips of the person he loved so infinitely.

***

"Hi."  
Janina turned around questioningly, smiled slightly.  
"Hey?"  
"May I?"  
Janina hesitated, but then nodded, because she had nothing else to do anyway, and the boy sat down next to her.  
"But before you try anything: I have a boyfriend, in case you didn't notice before"  
The boy laughed.  
"And before you start spreading rumours about me trying to get to you: I'm gay as fuck"  
Janina looked at him in surprise.  
"Oh. Ha ha, sorry. I'm Janina"  
"I know. I'm Pete", the boy smiled and Janina replied.  
"What are you doing here all alone?"  
"I'm actually waiting for Louis. The little boy I was talking about earlier-"  
"I know Louis", Pete laughed, then frowned.  
"Is he still gone?"  
Janina looked at him questioningly.  
"He told me earlier he had to do something, and then he'd come to me. But somehow I expected it to go faster. Maybe he doesn't want to see me..."  
"I don't think so. That's not Louis. But I saw him earlier, so he had to go somewhere. That was a while ago, like 45 minutes ago"  
"Hmm... I don't know, he'll come to me when he wants to talk to me. He's been acting a little weird"  
Pete held his peace for a moment.  
"Probably just because it's weird seeing you again"  
"Yeah, I guess so. Still, it didn't seem like he was happy. It was more as if he was more shocked than happy"  
Again Pete kept silent for a suspiciously long time and Janina looked at him, mustered him briefly.  
"How do you know Louis?"  
"We went to school together. And he knows Harry, of course"  
"Yes... Speaking of which... is it true what Camille's been saying?"  
"What do you mean?", Pete asked, and she didn't say anything.  
"Haven't you heard about it yet?"  
"No, I was confused earlier on what you were talking about"  
"Oh, well, anyway... I don't want to know any more. I'm no Camille"  
"Huh, but-"  
"Ask him yourself, I don't want to tell anybody"  
Pete was silent and Janina had the feeling he knew anyway. But she didn't ask, didn't notice his thoughtful and at the same time hurt expression on his face.  
"Where is Harry anyway? I also wanted to talk to him", she remembered and Pete sighed.  
"I don't know, the boy's always disappearing from parties"  
Janina laughed and looked around a bit. They were sitting on the stairs, so they had a good view, but they couldn't see Harry anywhere. Or Louis.

***

After a time when Janina and Pete had talked and laughed a lot, they had forgotten that they should look for Louis. But that was taken from them anyway.  
"Janina? Pete?"  
They turned around, laughing, then fell silent. Janina waved him over.  
"Louis... Where the hell have you been? You were supposed to come to me"  
"Um, yeah, it went a little longer, sorry"  
"What took you so long? You've been up there for ages", his former best friend smiled and pointed out to Louis to sit with them.  
"No, uh, I had to make a call. It was quieter upstairs, you know?"  
"Well then", Janina shrugged.  
"Is everything okay?", Pete asked a little more suspiciously than Janina, and Louis looked at him questioningly.  
"Sure. Why?"  
"You look exhausted"  
Janina laughed.  
"Maybe he had a quick work out"  
Louis blushed.  
"No, exhausting call. I'm sure you know"  
"With whom?", Pete kept asking questions.  
"With my mum. She was probably a little pissed that I'm here"  
"Oh dear", Janina giggled and even Pete seemed to believe him. His mum would never call him because of that, but they didn't know that.  
"Why don't you sit with us? We were just talking about old times in fifth grade when you always-"  
"Honestly", Louis interrupted Janina, fumbling nervously with his hands.  
"Can we go somewhere else?"  
"Why? It's quieter here than-"  
"Anyway, let's go. Come on", Louis babbled quickly and pulled the two of them to their feet.  
"I'm thirsty and you'll have a drink with me", he said and pulled them away. Janina went for it and laughed, Pete was a little confused since when Louis was so thirsty for drinking.

***

Louis and Janina talked in a good mood, while Pete only listened. He looked through the crowd, his gaze then caught on the stairs. Harry just came down the stairs, ran his fingers through his hair. Pete watched as Liam addressed him directly and looked at his shirt. There was a button open, which had been closed earlier. He saw that Liam seemed to notice something as well and tugged at his shirt before laughing and saying something and patting him on the shoulder. Harry rolled his eyes over Liam's joke and run a hand through his hair again.

Pete then looked at Louis.  
"Oh man, this stuff gets me, I'm going to the toilet", Janina laughed and Louis giggled cutely.  
"I'm coming with you. Can we leave you alone for a moment?", he then asked Pete, who just nodded.  
"Kay, see ya", whistled Janina and the two walked past Harry and Liam, who were still standing near the stairs. As Louis and Janina went past them, Pete saw Harry looking at them. And Pete knew that Harry wasn't one to look after girls to stare at their asses. And he actually didn't do it when he was looking at them. He was actually looking at Louis' ass. Pete took a deep breath and emptied his cup in one gulp.

***

"Janina will be back later, she's met someone", Louis laughed as he came back to Pete, who just nodded and gave him a slight smile.  
"Hey, what's going on?", he asked and looked at him with the blue eyes asking.  
"Janina asked me earlier if what Camille is telling around is true", Pete said serious and saw Louis swallowing lightly.  
"I asked what she meant, and she told me to ask you. So?"  
Louis was silent, looking into the cup that his little hands were holding. Pete wanted to hear it; make sure it was true. And that it wasn't a misunderstanding that got him down.  
"I, um..."  
Then in the final minutes, Louis Pete's suspicious looks and questions came back and looked up at him.  
"You... you already know, don't you?"  
Pete was silent, then looked away. So it was true.  
"You... why didn't you ask me directly?"  
Pete sighed, ran his fingers through his hair and Louis understood.  
"You were the one who came into Harry's room earlier when we were on the terrace, weren't you? You heard us"  
"No, I heard you", Pete said and Louis kept quiet.  
"Why didn't you tell me you're into Harry?"  
"l... I didn't want to tell everyone, because enough people already know... and you would've found out eventually, the way things are said here. A-And, I don't know... maybe I wanted you to be one of the people who didn't know so I could be comfortable with you and-"  
"Keep giving you all my attention?"  
Louis frowned at Pete's hurt and angry tone of voice.  
"What?"  
"Louis, as if you haven't noticed, I saw more in you than just a friend"  
Louis' eyes got wider and Pete laughed slightly. It sounded sad.  
"I can't believe you really didn't notice. Were you just using me to make Harry jealous? Or to distract you from him? Did you just want some boy to admire you?!"  
"What? Pete, I don't get it. I-I didn't know that... that you... God, I'm sorry!"  
"Me too", Pete said, then just left him there and Louis stared at the wall. Then he grabbed Pete's arm.  
"Is that why you talked to me?"  
Pete was silent, turned to him, then nodded, swallowed his grief.  
"I heard what you said to Harry. You slept with him. And I knew you felt bad about Janina. I wanted to tell you that it's your business. Even if I'm not happy that you gave someone like that your first time. Because if this is really how Harry treats you, he's different than I thought he was. And different from the way he basically acts in front of people. He obviously is an asshole and nobody here knows that because he's such a good actor"  
Louis kept silent, let him go.  
"You heard everything?"  
Pete held his peace for a minute.  
"Yeah. And I don't even wanna ask if you guys just had sex"  
With that he turned around and disappeared from the room. Louis didn't follow him. He seriously didn't realise that Pete maybe saw more in him than a friend and... god, Louis did know that Pete once had a crush on him, how could he not notice that maybe he would like him now one more time? Maybe he had been to distracted by Harry?   
And yes, Louis should've told him, but... he didn't know why he hadn't. Shit, he even haven't told Niall yet. How could Louis be such an asshole himself?!

***

Louis woke up. He didn't know the cause, because he was always fast asleep. Tired, he rubbed his eyes. He had slept, but he felt so exhausted. The whole evening had been shitty. Pete had avoided him, maybe he had just gone straight home. Louis hadn't done much more either... By early morning, everyone had left, and Louis didn't notice how quickly everyone had gone home. He wondered how long he'd been asleep. Not long, he supposed, because it was only the beginning of dawn.

Louis had managed to stay in Harry's house unnoticed. With Harry. At the thought Louis realized that Harry wasn't lying next to him, he had a panic attack, that he might have dreamt that he had fallen asleep at Harry's. But then he realized that he was lying in Harry's new bed. Tired, he sat up and rubbed his eyes again. The patio door was open, and a cold draft hit Louis.

Where's Haz?

Worried, he got up and put his boxer back on, put the far too large blanket over his shoulders before stepping out of the room.

***

Harry never drank alone. He wouldn't even allow himself a glass of wine or anything else once in a while. He didn't want to drink alone, would only feel more miserable from that point on. Like he did now. Disgusted with himself and his life, he put the bottle to his lips before he let the red liquid flow into his body.

You are not much better than him, said his inner voice, which seemed to laugh at him. Maybe even worse.

"Haz?"

It was the voice of one of the reasons Harry was really worse than his father.  
"Go to sleep, Louis", Harry just said, harsher and more unkind than he'd intended. And Louis always listened to him, but in that moment he was far too worried.  
"What... What are you doing here?", he ignored Harry's demand and Harry had really wished and thought that Louis would sleep peacefully. He had always been such a heavy sleeper!  
He didn't answer the younger one, took another sip. Louis watched him distraught.  
"What's all of this about?", he asked and wanted to reach for the bottle, but before he could even touch it, Harry answered.  
"Just touch it and you can walk straight home"  
Louis stopped immediately and pulled back his hand.  
"But Harry...", he tried again, his voice fading.  
"What?", he asked with a harsh tone before he drank again.  
"This is not healthy"  
Now Harry laughed bitterly and looked at Louis for the first time as he stood there lulled and freezing in the blanket.

So small and young. So innocent actually. If Harry weren't in his life.

"Because you live so healthy?"  
Louis sighed and sat on the rocking couch next to the elders, staring briefly into the distance.  
"Didn't say I lived a healthy life. But just to drink a bottle of wine by yourself at I don't know what time of night is not exactly a natural thing"  
"I'm ruined anyway", Harry said absently, staring at the view, which for him was slightly blurred.  
"Harry", Louis said sadly and wanted to hug him, kiss him, calm him down. But Harry wouldn't allow that anyway. And that stabbed the boy in the heart.  
"What the hell happened to you to do this?"  
Harry chuckled and wanted to drink again, then realized the bottle was empty and suddenly got terribly angry. Louis flinched as the bottle shattered with a loud crack after Harry had thrown it with a 'fuck' somewhere on the terrace. He made himself smaller and squeezed himself more into the blanket, which seemed to swallow him whole, because he was a bit afraid of a drunk and angry Harry. Harry, however, took a deep breath, then rubbed his face, buried his hands in his hair while he supported his elbows on his knees and looked down at the floor below him.  
"Fuck I'm not much better than him", Louis could hear Harry, even if he had only mumbled it softly to himself.  
"Like who?", he dared to say, flinched again at Harry's harsh reaction.  
"My father, god damnit!"  
Harry saw Louis' reaction and his eyes, flickering with fear, sighing before he collapsed and buried his face in the blanket. Others might have left, possibly putting him to bed before that. But Louis stayed. He would always stay with Harry, no matter what. He was silent, thinking maybe Harry needed a moment's rest to get his thoughts in order, he suddenly started talking about his father again after all. Why did he do that? But Louis didn't really want to ask, wanted to keep quiet so as not to provoke Harry any further.

Louis blinked when Harry had mumbled something into the blanket, body hanging limp.  
"What?", he asked quietly, afraid Harry would go angry or loud again. But he just raised his head a little to talk against the fabric so Louis understood.  
"He's dead"  
Louis' eyes got bigger.  
"W-What?!"  
Harry was silent, sat down again, just leaned against the backrest, exhausted, staring at the view.  
"And I'm not even sorry"  
Louis understood. Harry wasn't angry at his father or sad because of him. He was angry with himself and sad because he wasn't sad, he couldn't be because he hated his father so much.  
"Harry..."  
Louis slid, still wrapped in the blanket as a little tent, closer to the taller one.  
"Don't be sorry, you know. You have no reason to miss this man"  
"He was my father", Harry argued, and Louis was silent for a moment.  
"Yes, biologically. But he was never there for you as a father should be. You had no ties to him, especially after your parents split up. To you, he's an acquaintance, maybe even a stranger. You don't have to miss him"  
Harry was silent and Louis hoped he had said the right thing.  
"The jerk was in the car under influence of drugs", he said absently and interested Louis looked at him.  
"Car accident?"  
Harry was silent and Louis took that as a yes.  
"In the other car was a woman on her way home with a baby. Can you imagine that? He could have killed a small child and a mother, with maybe more children and a partner at home. All their lives would have been ruined because of that idiot"  
Louis remained silent, shocked at the information.  
"Are they okay?"  
Harry just nodded his head and Louis nodded in relief. He was glad they were all right.  
"A small little baby", Harry said as if in a trance.  
"Can you imagine that? Can you imagine having one of the most innocent creatures on your conscience?"  
Louis was silent, had to smile now.  
"You seem to like children"  
Harry had to smile slightly and it was a real smile. Maybe Louis had actually said the right thing.  
"Yes, they are the only people who don't think about money or power. They only do that later on. But when you're a kid all you think about is eating, sleeping, having fun and city scooters"  
Louis giggled and slid a little closer to Harry.  
"Would you like to have children later?"  
Louis could picture Harry with children and it warmed his heart. But Harry was silent and the smile was gone.  
"Want to, yes. But I shouldn't"  
"What? Why?"  
Harry was silent again.  
"I'd make a shit father. Look at mine. I'd be like him"  
Louis wanted to contradict him, but he saw in Harry's look, which was thrown at him by the older one, that a 'No, Harry you'd be a great father' speech from Louis wouldn't help. He wouldn't believe him anyway. The realistic view might have yielded something more.

"Harry, you're not just like him. Look at Anne, she's such a great mother. She loves you so much and you have so much of her loving side, too. And yes, I have to admit right now you wouldn't be a perfect father like in a picture book. But you can change and solve your problems and then there are good prospects for a beautiful future for you. You exist not just with the side you hate about yourself. You are a loving person, Harry, even if you don't believe me. Because there's so much more to this sex-addicted, controlling side. And if you put that side of yourself first, you'll be a good father. Unlike your father, you can change because you're not all bad"

Harry was silent, really listening. He said nothing about it, but he didn't deny it either.  
"And do you really think I love you because of your sex addiction?"  
Harry laughed bitterly for a moment.  
"Why you love me is a mystery to me anyway"  
Louis sighed and leaned a little against Harry, his chin on the shoulder of the taller one, so that he looked at his neck.  
"I love you for everything else you are. I have to accept your bad sides. But I love you anyway. I don't ignore them, I know they are there and don't like them at all. No, I hate them because they just fuck you up. But I accept them. Unlike you. You should accept them too, before you tell yourself you can fight them.  
But otherwise, I love you for everything. For your cooking, for your love of luxury, your determination, your style of clothes or your taste in food, in decorating your house, your sense of the important things, for example the view"

Harry laughed at the last thing and Louis smiled, now putting his head on his shoulder to look at the view.  
"And I think it's so sweet that you always want the best, that you're such a little diva and sometimes you like girl shampoo more because you like the fragrances and they take better care of your hair-"  
"If you tell anyone", growled Harry and Louis giggled.  
"That's what I love about you, Haz. Because it makes you Harry. You're such a great and interesting person. You fascinate me. Did you, when we first met. And you still do it every day anew. That's why I can't get away from you. You aroused my interest, I fell in love with you... and well, that's not gonna change for a while"  
Louis sat up straight again.  
"And I won't lie, you look incredible, and your hands alone have more sexappeal than most men in the world in general have"  
Harry had to laugh and Louis grinned.  
"But that's not the first thing I'd enumerate when asked what I love about you. And that is very important to me"

And it should be for Harry, too.

In fact, it was just now that Louis noticed that Harry only wore sweatpants. Immediately, he unrolled the blanket a little and put it over Harry.  
"Haz, you must be freezing!"  
He felt Harry's cold arm on his chest and snuggled up against the taller one, transferring his warmth to the cold body.  
"I didn't even notice", Harry just said and let Louis cuddle him.  
"I'm supposed to be with my mum and Gemma, too. God, I'm not a good son nor a good brother"  
"You can't be everything, my god! A moment ago you were complaining that you wanted to be a good father, now something is wrong with you as a brother and son, when will you ever be satisfied?"  
Harry laughed a little bit, because Louis was right. He was acting like a little girl. Although no one would ever think that about him.  
"And gee, it's just not like you loved him. So what now? Better than pretending to be sad so you can inherit as much as possible"  
"That's what I would have done before-"  
"Never mind, I don't care now", Louis said and Harry actually fell silent.  
"And tomorrow the world will look different again"  
Harry gave him an annoyed look, which made him laugh.  
"I know, I know. But it is what it is"  
Harry sighed, possibly enjoying the warmth that came from Louis' body. He hadn't realized how cold he was and that he was shivering.  
But Louis, of course, had noticed and hesitated before climbing on his lap, the blanket now completely around Harry and put his arms around the neck of the taller one to hug him, his head against his shoulder.  
"Och Haz"  
Harry was silent, allowed it, was too tired to discuss anyway and let himself be warmed.  
"Please don't do that again. You gave me such a fright. And what good was all that drinking going to do? Did anything get better?"  
Harry sighed slightly annoyed.  
"I didn't think things were gonna be great either. Or is that what you think when you cut yourself?"  
Louis' body stiffened up a bit and the older one sighed, realising he'd brought the subject up too harshly. But of course he couldn't apologize either. Perhaps he had never really learned to do so. All his life he was directly forgiven for everything, whether by friends or by his mother.

"It's true", he said quietly and put his cold hands on Louis' warm hips, which immediately gave him goose bumps. Harry didn't know whether it was Harry's touch or the cold.  
"That... this is... Yeah, it's stupid, too. But you're different, you don't have to drink. You could have such a great life if you would just be yourself and take therapy seriously"  
Harry rolled his eyes. Just out of habit with Louis, if he was to take him seriously.  
"And you have a shit life?"  
Louis didn't answer, clung closer to Harry.  
"Without you, yes"  
Again, Harry just rolled his eyes. He was unable to understand how much you could love a person. More than himself.  
"Shall we go in?", muttered Louis after a while, because he was getting really cold. He froze pretty fast.  
Harry hummed and put his arms around Louis' waist to pull him closer and hug him. Louis smiled immediately at the gesture, although Harry just needed someone to hug.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Am I the only one that loves to listen to sad music while writing sad stuff/is sad? It's like my body likes when I'm sad lmao I love my relationship with my mind (I hate my mind)
> 
> Hope you enjoyed <3
> 
> ! If you have questions/remarks, don’t be scared to comment  
> I’m happy about every Kudos and comment <3  
> All the love xx  
> @runningwatermelon  
> (Twitter & Instagram: larrymelon28; Wattpad: runningwatermelon)


	25. ||23||

Exhausted, Harry unlocked the door, looking at the senders of the two letters he had taken from his mailbox. He had just pushed the door open when someone called his name. Questioningly, he turned around and saw Trina. She smiled and walked faster, a package in her hand.  
"Here", she handed it to him.  
"This was left at my place because you weren't there"  
"Ah, thanks", Harry just said and took it from her. He had been waiting for it; it was the shoes he had ordered. Yes, his therapy had become shopping. It was way more comfortable than psychotherapy...  
"All good?", Trina asked now with a furrowed brow.  
"You were gone for quite a while"  
"Are you stalking me?"  
Harry laughed slightly and Nadine's eyes got bigger.  
"No, no, don't even think that. I-I'm currently sitting at my term paper and my desk is right by the window, facing your house" the girl said, who suddenly seemed much more shy now when she talked to Harry alone.  
Harry rubbed his eyes with the index finger and thumb of his free hand.  
"Uh yes, I was away for a long time"  
She held her peace for a moment.  
"Is everything-"  
"Hey, Trina, I'm really sorry, but I honestly just want to go inside and rest now. But thanks for the package", Harry sighed and sounded as exhausted as he was. The girl nodded understandingly.  
"All right. You can always come over"  
He nodded, thanked her and was about to go into the house.  
"By the way, that Louis fellow was at your house earlier"  
Harry immediately turned to her, frowning. She shrugged her shoulders.  
"Weird kid. He rang the bell a couple of times and then took off again. He saw me and gave me a look like I'd killed his mother"  
Harry pulled a wry face when she made that remark. He just wanted to go inside.  
"Anyway", he said, not wanting to rack his brains over why Louis wanted to see him and how Trina knew who Louis was. He gave her a 'Ciao' before he entered his house and closed the door, happy to be alone at last.

***

Showering had not been his best idea. For hygienic reasons it was all well and good, but nowhere else did he think as much as in the shower. He was thinking about his father... like he'd been thinking about the last few days, hours, minutes.  
It hurt. Knowing that your father died and realizing that you don't really care. And seeing the people you love be sad. He was dead and he was pulling Harry, Anne and Gemma down again. There was anger burning inside Harry. Infinite rage at his father who had failed to be the man Anne deserved and to not be the father Gemma deserved. And Harry? He didn't deserve that anyway. He never did. What was he thinking talking to his father about his problem back then, too? Maybe he'd been the same way, and that's why he hadn't been able to fight for his marriage with Anne. Son of a bitch.

Harry was probably the same. He would never be able to have a relationship, a future with a partner. And even though he always repressed that and didn't give a damn in his good moments, in his bad moments it was still a thought that hurt and scared him. And his bad moments had come up more often in recent days. He felt like it was all Louis' fault. Ever since he knew about his sex addiction, he was constantly reminded how shitty he was. But instead of using his grief and anger at himself to get through the therapy, he blamed Louis. He didn't realize that. He spent his life blaming others. But what else could he do; he had grown up that way, he had always got away with that.

Louis has no idea, Harry thought angrily and turned off the water.

He pretends to be grown up and reasonable, but is too much of a coward to go to therapy himself. It's his fault that it's getting worse, he just keeps reminding me of my problem and of sex.

Whether Harry believed himself, we don't know. But he never thought about it anyway.

***

Annoyed, he took his phone out of his pocket. Without thinking, he accepted the call, then regretted it, because only then he saw that it was Louis.  
"What?", he asked, breathing heavily, only to be shouted at by Louis' hysterical, high voice.  
"Harry, where are you?!"  
"Why, are you standing outside my house again?"  
Louis was silent and didn't answer, only hearing Harry's heavy breathing.  
"Harry, if I hear some bitch giggling again-"  
"Stay out of my life", Harry interrupted him immediately and hung up, put the phone away and continued jogging. In the old days, Louis would have known he was jogging. And now?  
Now he thought, expected Harry to have sex 24/7. And once again reminded him of his addiction.  
It made Harry angry and sad at the same time, which he wouldn't admit to himself. He focused on the anger and blocked out the sadness as he walked along. He didn't respond to Louis' calls and when Louis still didn't stop calling him every ten seconds after minutes, he simply turned off his phone. Then he just jogged without music. The music wasn't playing when Louis was calling all the time anyway. What he did to the worried Louis, he didn't pay attention to.

***

But when after a while he was almost run over by a cyclist, who cut him off from the right at a frantic speed, and was torn out of his thoughts, he stopped reflexively and wanted to look at him pissed. But then he saw who it was. He groaned stunned and put his head back.  
"Holy shit", he muttered before he looked at the cyclist who had swerved due to the close collision and landed on the ground.  
"Are you serious?!"  
Louis looked up, rubbing himself across the aching arm. Luckily, nothing else hurt him. But Harry didn't care about that anyway. He stared briefly at Harry's torso, which was so well accentuated by his T-shirt. Then he blinked and pulled himself up, ignoring the slight pain.  
"Harry", he said with such a sweet and dreamy and admiring tone that Harry rolled his eyes again.  
"What the fuck are you doing here?"  
Louis had to collect his thoughts again and then looked at him desperately.  
"Why didn't you answer?!"  
"Because I'd never have peace. And I finally motivated myself to do something for my body again", Harry said serious and Louis frowned before he sighed.  
"Stop it! Besides, you know you don't have to lose weight. More the opposite if you keep exercising like this"  
Harry rolled his eyes at Louis' mothering and answered annoyed.  
"I turned it off after my music was the ringtone that went off every two seconds because of you"  
"I was worried!", Louis protested, as if that was any justification.  
"You haven't answered cell phone, haven't been home, and then you were so out of breath on your phone"  
Harry crossed his arms in front of his chest.  
"It's called being afraid for selfish reasons"  
"No, I-"  
"I'm not having sex 24/7, Louis. I wish I was, but what can I do?"  
"I'm sorry", Louis muttered and looked down unsure, where his hands were playing with the hem of Harry's shirt again.  
"Hey, what the fuck?!", cried one cyclist as he tried to pass the two of them, but had to pass through the grass because Louis' bike was still on the ground blocking the whole way.  
"Well then, ride through the grass and mind your own business, loser!", Louis shouted angrily after him and Harry flinched a bit, not prepared for the insecure Louis to suddenly fly off the handle and flip the cyclist off when he turned to him angrily as he screamed.  
Harry had to laugh slightly, whereupon Louis immediately looked up to him smiling.  
"Idiot, when I'm standing here with you, I don't care about any of them", he said happily, simply because Harry had laughed because of him, and he clung to Harry.  
"Whoa, Louis, no", said the latter and put his hands on the shoulders of the smaller one.  
"I'm sweaty and-"  
"I don't mind, that's right. I already know you like this anyway. And I love you anyway"  
Louis sighed, happy to be able to hug the man again.  
"How did you even know where I was?!", Harry then noticed and managed to free himself from Louis' grip.  
"You always jog this way. And I guess I was just hoping to see you here..."  
So he had remembered that he had gone jogging after all. It made Harry smile just thinking about it.  
"And you didn't have time to put on shoes?"  
Louis looked down on himself and seriously... He just now realized he wasn't looking at his shoes. He was looking at his tube socks.  
"Holy shit", he said, then looked up.  
"Oh, fuck, no, I forgot all about that. I ran right out and didn't notice because I only had you in my head and I didn't want to miss you when you were really jogging"  
"You nearly killed me, too"  
Louis giggled, then walked to his bike to pick it up and set it up on the side of the path where they were standing.  
"And how did you know I was at your house? Did the stupid cow across the street squeal?"  
Harry had to chuckle.  
"Maybe"  
"Scary how she always keep her eyes on your house. And then she knows who I am. I'm telling you, she's a stalker and she's been stalking you your whole life"  
Harry laughed and then rolled his eyes.  
"Yes, for sure. I'll have two stalkers now?!"  
Louis made a grimace.  
"I'm allowed to, I was here first"  
"Actually, if she's been a stalker my whole life-"  
"Shut up now. I was actually gonna ask you how you were doing earlier and then ask if you were free tonight and come over"  
Harry raised an eyebrow.  
"Why?"  
"Well, because you're not well, and then... well, you've got shit all around you right now. And then I thought I'd cook something"  
Now Harry looked at him even more skeptically.  
"You"  
Louis nodded.  
"Cook"  
Again he nodded, this time hesitantly.  
"Just say yes"  
"Certainly not"  
Harry rolled his eyes.  
"Get on your bike and go home, Louis. Don't have a nerve", he said and wanted to continue jogging, but Louis stopped him.  
"When did you last eat?"  
Harry sighed annoyed, but then noticed that he had actually not eaten anything for a long time. He was at Anne and Gemma's, at home, felt useless, went out at night and then slept for hours. He just really was about to fall into a hole.  
Louis grinned triumphantly as his stomach growled the moment Harry thought about food. He took his bike and put one sock foot on the pedal.  
"So there you have it. If your stubborn mind won't say yes... your stomach just did. See you later", he said before he left Harry.  
"What...", Harry just stared at his backside.  
"What about your parents?", he shouted after Louis, who turned and grinned.  
"Aren't home"  
Harry returned Louis' grin and sighed as Louis turned around to pedal with his pink socks. He looked at Louis' ass, which was perfectly visible to him as Louis was standing while riding. And he knew he was probably doing it on purpose. And he hated Louis for it. But that also convinced him: He would actually listen to Louis tonight and accept his invitation.

***

Bored and somehow also excited Louis scrolled through his Instagram in a free minute. He saw a subscriber request and clicked on the profile that had requested him.  
"Wow", he muttered when he saw that it was Jennifer, a former student in his class. Until suddenly she was no longer there. Some said she had changed school, others spread rumors that she had quit altogether and that she lived under the bridge. But it didn't look like that. Jennifer had over 400 thousand followers on Instagram and had tons of posts, likes and comments. It didn't take long and Louis knew why: Jennifer was a YouTuber? He hadn't known anything about it, but there were so many YouTubers who knew so many people and so many who didn't. He had never thought that someone from his surrounding would go on YouTube. And then successfully.

He accepted the request, wondering at the same time why she had sent him one. He had spent some time with her from time to time, but not much either. In former times they had learned math together, since she had improved extremely through Louis. It had been funny, but that was all. Curious Louis went on YouTube and entered her name in the search bar. And indeed: On YouTube the girl had 800 thousand subscribers. He scrolled through her videos. She did everything crosswise. A few make-up tips, product tests, but above all she ordered a lot of things, sometimes junk and sometimes useful, or a video was called 'Advertising vs. Reality - DM Novelties'. Louis went off the app when he got a message on Instagram. Only then he noticed that he had a few new Likes. He didn't have many pictures on Instagram, a few with Niall, Whitney or Lottie. The Likes were all from Jennifer and he frowned. Why did she took the time for stalking him?

Then he remembered the private message and was just as confused when he realized that it was a message from Jennifer.

jenninfluence: Hii Louis :D

A little confused, but still happy about her message, he texted her back.

louist91: Hey Jennifer how r u?

jenninfluence: Perfect, you are online! I'm fine, stupid question do you give me your number? I have to call you!!!

By now Louis was confused at best, but did it anyway. It wasn't until Jennifer texted back a 'Great, thanks' that he realized it could be a hacker. On the other hand, what would he want from Louis?  
He didn't have much time to think about it, because the next moment his phone rang and a unknown number called him. He took a short breath before answering.  
"Hello?"  
"Louiis, hi"  
Louis exhaled slightly. It was really Jennifer.  
"Hey"  
"How are you? Haven't heard from you in ages!"  
"Um, good. I think so?"  
Jennifer was laughing and he could hear her sitting down somewhere.  
"Yeah? Are you still in school?"  
Louis nodded, then quickly said yes.  
"Funny"  
"And you?"  
"Me? Nah. Better things to do, as you might have seen on my Insta", she laughed and Louis chuckled. She admittedly sounded a bit arrogant. But well, maybe that just sounded like it and she was just understandably proud.  
"Yes, I saw that. I didn't know you were so successful at it"  
"Yeah, nobody thought, haha. Well, I showed them"  
Louis laughed and then it was quiet for a moment.  
"And what are you doing now?"  
"Listen Jennifer, I think it's cool to talk to you and all, but you didn't text me, asked for my number for asking what I'm doing, right?"  
Jennifer laughed.  
"Yeah, you're right, I'm called for a reason and not to make small talk. I wanted to ask you if you'd like to make a video with me sometime?"  
Louis frowned.  
"Excuse me?"  
Jennifer laughed.  
"How touching to make a video with a celebrity like me, I know"  
Louis rolled his eyes, but ignored her statement then.  
"Why me, Jennifer? We hardly know each other, and we've never really been friends. Why do you want me for it?"  
"Why not?"  
Louis was naive, yes. But not even he was naive enough to think that Jennifer wanted to make a video with him because she missed him so much and loved him so much.  
"Jennifer, please. If I'm gonna do this, I at least wanna know the real reason why"  
On the other side a sigh was heard.  
"Well, well. You gotta understand, this is business, you know? YouTube is not that easy and I just want to expand my community. And I needed inspiration and I was a little bored stalking people. Then I accidentally came across some profiles of the people your sister hangs out with. And then I saw a newer picture of her with you on it. And wow, I loved it. You look amazing, Louis! So I went on your profile, and you know how many clicks I'd make with you? That would be awesome! 'That's my boyfriend?' And a silhouette of you-"  
"Wait, wait, wait"  
Louis blinked confused.  
"You want me to pretend to be your boyfriend?!"  
Jennifer laughed.  
"God Louis, no! It's just the clickbait! You really don't know anything about YouTube, do you? No, I'd introduce you as my gay best friend and we'd talk about how we were seen on the street together and because we're so cute together, fans thought we were together and I wanna use the video to explain that you're my gay best friend"  
Louis was silent. What could he say now? Was he shocked or just upset?  
"Uh... Jennifer, are you kidding me right now? And how do you even know-"  
"I'm actually still in contact with Zoe and she said you just came out"

Lol. Thanks to that Zoe at this point.

"Listen, this might sound crazy to you, but here's the deal. And I know my community. The thing that would push me up would be a gay, pretty twink. And I'm sorry if you think that's negative, but that's who you are"  
"Um. Jennifer, can I call you back soon?"  
"Did I hurt you? Louis, I'm sorry if this is too harsh for you"  
"No, I'm fine. I just wasn't prepared, I guess? And I mean, I don't know if I can be so open about my sexuality and-"  
"Louis. It's in, being a gay twink. And you fit perfectly into the picture of a slut"  
"Please what?", Louis asked, somewhat indignantly.  
"Did you just say I fit in the picture of a slut? I remember one time I heard Zoe and Daria talking about you giving blowjobs to I don't know how many guys in a week"  
Jennifer laughed out loud.  
"That's it, Louis! You are so savage, you would fit in perfectly. By the way, I didn't mean slut as in a word. S.L.U.T: Sweet, little, unforgettable thing. Or in your case, maybe more sassy than sweet, haha. And besides, those were just rumors"  
Louis was silent. God, he really thought she was going crazy.  
"Oh", he said, laughing slightly.  
"I'm not that unforgettable, you know"  
"Look at you, half of the viewers will fall in love with you hahaha"  
Louis blushed slightly.  
"And so please my community is sooo kind, I once made a hate comment video, I found almost nothing and I am not that well known. Unfortunately, haha. But look at it this way, you would surely get more followers and so on over time"  
"And what good does that do me?"  
Jennifer laughed.  
"Fame"  
"And what good does that do me?"  
"Think about it, Louis. You got my number now. You can call me if you have any questions or whatever. But don't make me wait too long, haha. I'll have to find someone else"  
Louis knew she was just avoiding his question. In this day and age, everybody wanted fame because it seemed cool. Bullshit.  
"I'll let you know, yeah... Bye"  
"Ciaooiiii"

With a sigh Louis put his phone away. Never would he had thought that he would think about going on YouTube. And there he was.

***

With a smile Louis opened the door. Why shouldn't he be happy to see Harry? And having him all to himself the rest of the evening, waaa, Louis might freak out. Without paying attention to Louis, Harry walked past him, not waiting to be invited in, the phone still at his ear.  
"Yes, Mum, I know... Yes, I will"  
Louis frowned worriedly, carelessly slamming the door. He hadn't thought about it, and Harry turned to Louis with an annoyed look.  
"Yes, Mum, I know the door has been repaired and I shouldn't really slam it"  
Louis couldn't help but giggle softly into his hand.  
"What's wrong?!... Yes, I know. Yeah, me too. Mum, I... yeah... yes"  
Harry took off his shoes while apparently listening to his mother's lecture and pointed to the kitchen. Louis understood and nodded, went into the kitchen to get Harry a beer.  
"Yes, I'll try. You please try to... Yes. What are you doing tonight?... Okay. I love you too, Mom... Yeah, I will... Yeah, I promise... See you... yes...yeah, see you"  
Louis smiled. Harry was simply a mother person. And he loved the way Harry loved and respected his mother. He heard Harry sigh and then come into the kitchen. So he turned around and stretched out the bottle to Harry, which the older one grabbed immediately to take a big sip and then sigh again.  
"Hi", Louis giggled and Harry chuckled, drank straight from the bottle again.  
"How is Anne?", Louis asked cautiously and Harry sighed, looking at the bottle, playing with the label.  
"Shit. That's the only reason I feel so shit, too. Not because of my dad"  
Louis was silent, but nodded.  
"I understand"  
Harry didn't answer, but looked around the kitchen.  
"I expected nothing left here but ashes and a charred meal"  
Louis laughed and slapped Harry in the chest.  
"No, why? Dinner's in the oven to keep warm and you can sit in the living room and I'll get it"  
Harry raised an eyebrow.  
"The food? What is it? Is there a food taster?"  
Louis rolled his eyes and pointed to the door leading to the living room and Harry laughed and walked past Louis.  
"Thanks for the invitation, by the way", he stopped for a moment to say in Louis' ear, which made the smaller one hold his breath and get goose bumps. Harry laughed slightly and left the room to go into the living room where everything was already set.  
And admittedly, Harry loved cooking very much. But in his present situation, he had lost the desire to do anything. He was not depressed, no, no. But he just didn't feel like it, couldn't bring himself to do anything. Except alcohol and sex. Great, he was just like his father.

Harry sat down and tried not to think about his fucking father. Let's see, maybe the evening would be relaxed and Louis wouldn't be a pain in the ass. Just the fact that he was cooking for Harry suited him perfectly. It was actually quite nice to have someone who invited you to his place at that moment because he was worried about him eating something again. And then there was Louis, who couldn't get anything done in the kitchen, trying so hard for him.  
He made an effort for Harry and even if it didn't mean as much to him as it did to the younger one, it was a nice gesture and maybe Harry needed it. Of course, he could also go to his mother. But she was even more motherly than Louis. And it would all be about one thing. And his mother should rest, not look after him. He was fine. He told her.

Harry raised his eyebrow sceptically on purpose when Louis came in with the food and got the desired reaction.  
Louis rolled his eyes.  
"I can eat in front of you, and then we'll wait a few minutes. If I haven't died directly, then it's only possible that I have food poisoning, then you have to decide yourself if you want to take the risk"  
Harry began to laugh at Louis' snappy tone and was amazed to find that what Louis had cooked actually smelled good.  
"What is it?", Harry asked when Louis put something on his plate. Louis sighed theatrically.  
"If you knew anything about cooking, you'd know it was pasta, tagliatelle to be exact"  
Harry grinned at Louis' answer and Louis replied before sitting himself across from Harry with a full plate.  
"Tagliatelle with basil pesto, shrimp, cheese, baby leaf spinach... pine nuts and cherry tomatoes and onions", Louis said as he looked at the food. Harry whistled impressed before he started to eat with Louis. And honestly, Harry didn't have to spit everything out. It tasted as good as it looked and smelled.  
"Unbelievable, overnight you became a chef just like that?"  
Harry already noticed how grateful his body was to finally be able to eat some real food again.  
Louis laughed slightly and supported his head on his hand.  
"I wanted to make you happy. And make sure you ate something again", he said softly and Harry didn't understand why Louis' eyes radiated a slight nervousness and insecurity, but what the heck. It tasted good and Harry put something on his plate again after a short time. Louis did the same and gave one of his usual 'I'm eating something damn tasty' sighs.  
"Self-praise", Harry grinned, and Louis looked at him questioningly.  
"Hm?"  
Then he understood, and he made big eyes.  
"Oh, yeah. Right", he laughed slightly and drank quickly. Harry frowned for a moment, but didn't care.

***

"Thank you", Harry said in Louis' ear, then put his chin on his shoulder. He laughed slightly and put his hands on the hips of the smaller one, who had been so busy thinking that he had flinched at Harry's voice.  
"N-No problem", Louis said quietly, and placed the pot he had just cleaned beside the sink.  
"What are you thinking about?"  
Louis remained silent and put the rag away.  
"I'm not..."  
"Don't lie", Harry said against his neck and the younger one sighed.  
"I have to go to the bathroom", he said, freed himself from Harry's grip and exited the kitchen.  
Harry looked after him confused. It didn't hurt him, but Louis was really strange right now. So absent. But Harry was always the centre of Louis' life, his thoughts, everything.  
Thoughtfully he looked around until the chewing gum in his mouth, which he had taken shortly after eating, annoyed him and he went to the cupboard door where the trash can was. He opened it and put his chewing gum in the garbage, only realizing that because of the way he had opened the door a few pieces fell out of the paper trash. He sighed annoyed and bent down, picked up everything and saw that one of them was a newer receipt. And he had no bad conscience about how much money Louis had spent on him. The boy had enough money and Harry had certainly spend a lot of money for him, too. Just by food and all his clothes. So he curiously looked at the note, expected a note from a discount store and a list of all the things Louis had used for the dish. But instead he read the name of an expensive restaurant nearby. Harry understood that it had to be the Italian restaurant around the corner and wanted to throw it away, but then he found the date on the receipt. It was the one from today. And it was exactly the dish Harry had just eaten. He shook his head and crumpled up the little paper before throwing it in the trash and kicking the door with his foot.

Then he heard the message tone from Louis' phone and looked at the door before, in his mood, he simply wondered who was texting Louis now and for what reason and walked to the phone. The screen was lit up so he could read the message directly. And if so, he knew Louis' PIN anyway, Louis told him directly everything in full confidence. Harry's face changed.  
The message was from an unknown number.

+49-73...: Don't forget to call me! Seriously, Louis, you're perfect for this. People will love you, pretty innocent twinks are so in right now. You're gonna be fame, I'm telling you. And I mean, I saw your talent for the camera when I saw your photos!

Harry stared intently at the message. When the screen went blank, he clicked on the home button to read it again; to make sure he hadn't misread it. Perfect for what? Twink? Fame? Talent for the camera and any photos?! WTF?! Who was that pervy guy who texted Louis those things? What was Louis up to? And what did he get talked into?!

Completely distraught and angry for some reason, he threw the phone back on the table. What the actually fuck was going on with Louis?!  
Said boy came back into the kitchen, saw the look on Harry's face.  
"Everything okay?"  
Harry stared at Louis and Louis swallowed.  
"What's wrong?", he asked quietly, and Harry knew he was thinking about his lie. Harry chuckled and crossed his arms in front of his chest.  
"Little, naive Louis"  
Louis frowned even more and looked at him so insecurely and innocently that Harry laughed slightly.  
"Did you seriously think you could get away with this?"  
"Get away with what?"  
"'I'm so worried about you, Harry. I've cooked for you, Harry. I've worked so hard for you, Harry. I'm doing all this just for you and without any ulterior motives, Harry'", Harry imitated Louis and he wanted to say something immediately, but Harry raised his hand, to which he obeyed immediately.  
"Why all this drama again? Oh, my God, I'm really gonna leave soon"  
"No!"  
Louis immediately walked towards Harry to grab his shirt.  
"I did this just for you! I wanted to make you happy!"  
"By lying to me?"  
"I... I was afraid you'd cancel. You can pick up food by yourself. And I... I-I thought if I said I was cooking, you'd at least be curious and come to me rather than if I said come for take-out food. Cause I don't want you to cook for yourself, you're not well anyway. A-And I wanted to try cooking, but it just tastes like shit and the kitchen would really no longer exist", Louis babbled and Harry had to chuckle. Simply because Louis was so pathetic.  
"Are you serious? And you honestly thought I wouldn't notice? All your behavior tonight alone"  
"I... I just felt bad"  
Louis looked down.  
"Then why are you doing it?"  
Louis wasn't explaining and Harry rolled his eyes. That's exactly why he was so annoyed with him. That he was just a 16-year-old boy, insecure and in love, he probably didn't realize.  
"Don't you ever do that shit again"  
"I promise!"  
Louis' head leapt up immediately and he had tears in his eyes again.  
"And don't you cry now", Harry said annoyed and Louis sighed and buried his face in Harry's chest.  
"Please stay. I don't want you to sit at home alone. I wanted to make you happy and show you that you are important to me. And I felt bad about lying to you, but... I just wanted you to be happy. And finally eat something "  
Harry sighed and pushed Louis away.  
"All right, I'll stay"  
Louis smiled immediately and wanted to throw himself on Harry, but the latter stopped him.  
"But just because otherwise you're going to start crying again"

Maybe he just didn't want to be alone himself. He was so alone lately anyway, felt alone with others, even when he was with someone else.

Louis giggled and jumped up and down.  
"Come on, let's watch something"  
Harry, incredulous that he agreed to all this, rolled his eyes and went into the small home theater, sat down on one of the comfortable chairs. He didn't know what Louis was up to, but he took a quick look at his phone to see if Gemma or Anne had called or texted him. Then he remembered the message on Louis' phone.  
He sure was texting the guy back right now. Thoughtfully, Harry frowned. What was Louis up to? He didn't have to do anything for money. He already had enough. And Louis wasn't needy for fame, one of the things that was nice about that boy. So why would he take up any strange offers from strange men? Was he being blackmailed? And what was that shit? Louis should know by now that he was Harry's. And it had nothing to do with jealousy or love. Harry just didn't like other people meddling in his life or his affairs. Pete was enough of a pain in the ass for him.

"Am I a Twink?"  
Harry looked to the entrance, where Louis stood somewhat confused, a bowl of popcorn in one hand, coke in the other. He mustered Louis briefly.  
"Yes", he then said, and Louis sighed, went over to Harry and put the food down.  
"And is that bad?"  
Harry laughed and Louis sat down next to him, slightly sulking, his left leg bent so that his left foot was under his right thigh.  
"It depends. I wouldn't become a bodyguard if I were you", Harry smirked and Louis rolled his eyes. But Harry's laugh disappeared when he realized that the question must have had something to do with that scumbag who got into Louis' brain and wanted to talk him into something.  
"I have something to tell you"  
Louis now bent his left leg so that his left foot was on the chair and he could rest his chin on his left knee.  
"An old classmate texted me today on Instagram and asked for my number and then called me. She asked me if I wanted to make a video with her sometime. She's a fairly well-known YouTube girl, has about 800 thousand subscribers"  
Harry just kept quiet and Louis kept talking.  
"But she said, somehow, because I asked her why exactly I was a Twink, and that I was perfect to play her gay best friend and get her more fame"

Harry stared at him. He was torn between slapping himself or laughing completely. Then it had been that classmate?! God, why was Harry thinking straight about any porn, webcam, or nude-picture action? And how could he think Louis could ever hide something from him? He always told Harry everything and anything, didn't matter if Harry asked or Louis really wanted to tell him. It was like a habit.

"Oh. And she just said that?"  
Louis shrugged while he nodded.  
"Yeah, I don't know. At least she was honest... what do you think?"  
Harry sighed, chewed on the popcorn and looked at the screen, which was still white.  
"I don't know, that's your business. If you like being taken advantage of..."  
"Why-"  
"She said you would lie for her and she only asked you because you fit into her perfect YouTube world", Harry said, looking at him with a raised eyebrow, whereupon Louis remained silent.  
"I don't know", he said softly and chewed on his lip.  
"I just don't know if I can... if I want to be straightforward and say 'Hi, I'm Louis and I'm in fact gay'"  
Harry chuckled. Once he seemed to understand Louis. Because he never even told his closest friends or family he was bi.  
"You just have to know how you want to be seen, Louis. You will get labelled as something right away in these things. In your case, you'll just be the innocent gay twink who likes it up the ass"  
Louis looked at him in shock and Harry laughed slightly.  
"What? You have to expect comments like that. It's the Internet, Louis. People love this anonymous power. And you're serving yourself up on a silver platter there. Hater are going to hate anyway"  
Then he leaned back, arms in his neck.  
"But who cares. If you want to do this, do it. As long as you do it for you and not for money or fame. And as long as you stay realistic and know that not everyone will be enthusiastic about you and you will certainly get negative comments. And that you won't become a celebrity by doing that"  
"I don't think that"  
Louis rolled his eyes.  
"I don't want to do this because of Fame or something. I'd do it for Jennifer because she wants me to"  
Harry was silent.  
"You're definitely too nice", he sighed, then looked at him again.  
"But go ahead. Maybe you'll enjoy it. But I don't care, what are we watching?"  
"I think I'll do it"  
Louis nodded after a brief silence, ignoring Harry's statement.  
"I'd go for American Horror Story", Harry just said, and Louis agreed anyway, no matter what Harry wanted to watch. It wasn't that the younger one was the clichéd chickenshit in horror movies, he was only partly scared at night. During the film itself it was okay. And this series was really not that scary. So they actually watched it, but Louis couldn't concentrate anyway. When the love of your life sits next to you, you can't concentrate completely on the film. Louis didn't know why, but Harry let him put his head on the older boy's shoulder. Perhaps because he was mentally weakened anyway and was more open to physical closeness than usual when he was in a bad mood? Louis didn't know it, but he didn't care. The only thing he thought about was Harry and the butterflies in Louis' stomach, which once again spread. He loved being with Harry. He admired that boy so much. He'd love to take Harry's hand in his, but it would definitely be too much for Harry. So he left it at that, took everything he got from Harry and kept looking.

***

"Mmm", Louis sighed contentedly against Harry's lips, which kissed him again so that he forgot everything around him. With his right hand he drove down Harry's naked torso, only to drive up again over his light V-line over his hip bone. And honestly, every inch of Harry's body felt so good against Louis' skin. His fingers tingled just by touching Harry's skin. It wasn't until Harry's lips disappeared from his that Louis heard the ringing as well. He looked next to him at the desk where they were standing and saw that it was Jennifer. He guessed he thought he recognized the number; maybe he should save it.  
"Oh, I forgot, I should've called her", Louis giggled and stood in front of the desk to pick up his phone.  
"I'm going to take a shower", Harry said in Louis' ear, stroking his two fingers lightly over Louis' hips, making him shiver. Louis sighed softly and Harry smirked before he separated from Louis, whereupon Louis turned to him.  
"Never mind, I'll call her back later", he said, carelessly throwing the phone on the table before pulling the taller one by the neck down to him and kissing him again. Only in passing did he notice how the ringing stopped, but he was much more aware of how Harry pulled him to the bathroom during the kiss.

***

Louis was standing in the kitchen, just turning on the kettle when he got call. He picked up the phone and turned on the speaker to get a cup.  
"Louis, hi!", Jennifer's cheerful voice came right up.  
"Hey, Jennifer", Louis replied, getting a little shy.  
"Have you changed your mind? Or what's your decision? I know, I know, I said you still have time, but I can't wait, you're too perfect to be true. You better look like in your pictures"  
Louis remained silent for a moment, overwhelmed by her immediate outburst.  
"So, of course, only if you join in"  
Jennifer probably noticed herself being a bit premature.  
"But why shouldn't you, right? I mean, helping an old friend with her work is no problem, huh?"  
That convinced Louis. Because he really just wanted to help. And he was happy to have someone in his life who wanted to spend time with him again. What was so bad about making a single video with her and twisting the truth a little, right?  
"No, I... I'll do it"  
"Really?", Jennifer screamed before she squealed.  
"Veeeery awesome, oh my God, then I can really do everything the way I planned it!"  
Because to her it had almost been clear. If Louis was like he was before, he'd want to help her. And it turns out he was still like that.  
"Then we have to meet soon and discuss everything. You have to tell me a little bit about yourself, too, things that may have changed, I don't know, and-"  
"But Jennifer?", Louis dared to interrupt her.  
"I don't want to get too involved in your business, but... but I don't want to lie about everything completely, okay? And I'm not gonna play your typical gay bestie just because I might seem like one"  
Jennifer was silent for a moment.  
"No, what are you talking about, Louis?! Let me plan everything, I know what I'm doing"  
"Okay..."  
"We can just go into town, then they'll see us together and it's not even a lie that they saw us together", she babbled on while Louis filled the now hot water into a cup.  
"Y-yeah, okay... but it will be just one video-"  
"When do you have time? We really need to do this soon, I want to get this all started!"  
Louis frowned, fearing it was a bigger deal to get involved in here after all.  
"I don't know, I can actually always and I-oop", he interrupted himself and let go of the cup in surprise, which was on the counter in front of him, when suddenly Harry's warm hands lay on his hips from behind. Harry's body, still warm from the shower and only in boxers, was pressed against Louis' naked back and Louis immediately got a pleasant feeling in his stomach.  
"Are you okay?"  
Jennifer's voice woke him from his reverie.  
"What? Oh, yeah", he said, laying his hands on Harry's, enjoying Harry's body friendliness with the little one.  
"So when? Got to cut the video and everything after all; until the video is finally online it will take forever"  
Louis tried to concentrate on her voice while he felt Harry's breath on his ear.  
"Uh, yes, I can almost always", he said after he cleared his throat.  
So while Jennifer was suggesting appointments and Louis listened, he felt a hand on his ass. He flinched and pushed his hand away, Harry chuckled in his ear and immediately the hand was there again, this time it gripped harder and Louis pushed him away a little.  
"Not now, Harry", he hissed softly, but Jennifer fell silent immediately.  
"What?"  
"Huh? Nothing, never mind"  
"Who were you talking to? Oh. My. God. Louis Tomlinson, do you have a boyfriend?"  
Jennifer became hysterical and Louis panicked, reached for the phone immediately.  
"N-no, I was talking to myself, so go ahead and talk"  
"Don't lie! Who's there? Can he hear me? Helloooo"  
"Stop that!"  
"Omg, he has to be in a video with us sometime!"  
"What? No!"  
"You don't have to make a sex tape"  
"No matter what, we're certainly not doing it"  
"So you admit it"  
"What? No, Jennifer, I really don't have a boyfriend!"  
"But you talked to someone"

So while Louis tried to find an excuse, Harry leaned amused at the counter. Sure, he thought it was funny, but if Louis now said he had a boyfriend, he'd be mad as hell again. Not fair. Louis turned away from him.  
"Listen to me. No, I don't have a boyfriend. So hard to understand? You wanna see me, or are you trying to scare me out of here?"  
"No! Okay, okay. Relax, Louis. I was just kidding"  
Louis exhaled in relief, wondering why he still had the speaker on when he held the phone in his hand, so he turned it off and put the phone to his ear.  
"Okay, so when do you have some free time?"  
"Put it back on speaker, I want to listen, too"  
Louis turned to Harry with an incredulous look, who almost smirked sadistically at him.  
"Louis, how can I ignore this?! Omg, what's his name?!"  
"This is not my boyfriend, this is my... my brother"  
"Since when do you have a brother?"

Shit.

"Well, not a real brother, b-but almost like one?", he said, and Harry, like Louis, made a face. The two? Brothers? Or like brothers? Would be a bit gross.

"He's theee... boyfriend of my sister", Louis said, not knowing whether it was a good or bad decision to go this way.  
"Oooh, wait"  
Louis pressed the loudspeaker a bit annoyed and put it roughly on the table.  
Then they heard nothing for a moment, only typing on the mobile phone.  
"It was clear", Jennifer said.  
"What?"  
"Is her boyfriend that Harry? Most of her pictures she posted are with him"  
"Please what?!"  
Louis immediately grabbed the phone while Harry turned away laughing quietly.  
"No, that is definitely not her boyfriend!"  
Then he got a warning look from Harry, because he was so obvious again.  
"Oh. Then who is that? He's a snack. Omg, please say you know him"  
"Uh, a little", Louis said, blushing.  
"You have to introduce me to him! Maybe he can also take part in a video, through him I will surely get thousands of new followers"  
Harry rolled his eyes. Definitely not. He definitely wouldn't let that fame hungry bitch take advantage of him.  
"Um, I can ask him?", Louis answered, unsure, looking at Harry, who shook his head.  
"But I don't think he's in the mood. Besides, he doesn't even know you", Louise came out of him again in the end.  
"Okay, okay, take it easy. You sure can introduce me to him one day... Anyway, when do you have time? Today?"  
Louis looked at Harry, who of course had to decide. Then he remembered something, just as Harry nodded, shrugging.  
"Wait"  
Then he switched off the microphone.  
"When will you be back with Elia?"  
Harry rolled his eyes.  
"Does it matter?"  
"To me, yes. And it should matter to you, too. So?"  
Harry sighed, mumbled something and Louis raised his eyebrows questioningly as Harry took a step towards him and put his hand on Louis' neck.  
"Unimportant", he said softly, leaning slightly down towards Louis, who turned his head away with a heavy heart.  
"When?"  
Harry looked at him in disbelief, probably confused as to why Louis turned away, and he looked so sweet that Louis quickly kissed him on the slightly pouting lips.  
"When?", he asked again and Harry rolled his eyes at Louis' look at him and the cheesy action. That wasn't the kind of kiss he wanted.  
"Would have today"  
"'Would have'?", Louis asked skeptically and Harry sighed, his arms crossed in front of his chest.  
"Yes, 'would have'. I canceled"  
"Why did you cancel?"  
"I'm ill"  
"Doesn't look like it to me"  
Louis mustered Harry, perhaps a little too long his upper body.  
"Well, in the head"  
"Yes, and that's why I want you to go to therapy. So you're cancelling therapy because you need therapy?"  
Harry groaned annoyed, turned away from Louis and walked to the counter to lean on it.  
"I don't have the nerves for this today. My father died"  
Louis remained silent, not sure if he should dare to say what he just thought. But fear for Harry prevailed, so he spoke up.  
"Haz", he said softly before Jennifer interrupted.  
"Louiis?"  
He sighed and turned the microphone back on.  
"I'll call you later", he said before hanging up, which made Harry chuckle. He really cared about him more than anything.

"Of course I understand that you're not doing well with all of this", Louis started and Harry half switched off, because it already sounded as if Louis was about to give a lecture.  
"But... I don't want to accuse you of anything, but please don't use your father's death to justify all your actions", Louis said to Harry, still a little afraid that Harry might go angry right away. That's why he went straight on.  
"I-I don't know what you're going through, you're not well anyway, and then this, and I'm here telling you what to do, b-but maybe you're not thinking clearly right now, and I can. You should go to Elia right now. You don't have to talk about you today. She's your therapist, not some robot who specializes in talking about your sex addiction. I'm sure you can talk about your father today. I'm sure she can help you... a-and she always knows what to say... unlike me"  
Louis looked at his hands as he spoke, which lay carefully on Harry's chest, too scared of Harry's eyes right now. Especially when Harry didn't really react, but remained silent. Harry had apparently been thinking, for at some point he sighed and Louis dared to look up. Either he was really quiet, or he would now be angry at Louis. Louis hated the fact that he knew Harry so well to know the options of his actions but could never estimate what he was doing of it. Harry was unpredictable, and most of the time, Louis was guided by his naivety.  
"What do you want me to do? Call and say it was just an April Fool's joke and I was wrong about the month?"  
Louis had to giggle slightly because Harry was simply his dream man.  
"No, you honestly tell her what happened and that you didn't really want to go but then changed your mind"  
Harry was silent, then sighed.  
"She would think I'm completely fucked up"  
"I think she knows worse people", Louis just shrugged and put out his phone.  
"Go ahead"  
Harry raised both eyebrows and Louis sighed.  
"Please"  
Harry rolled his eyes and actually took the phone. Louis' heart immediately warmed because he had apparently managed to convince Harry.  
"So what's in it for me?"  
And once again, Louis had been too naive. He sighed.  
"A therapy session where you can talk about your problems"  
Harry shrugged his shoulders.  
"Great. I can also just-"  
"I won't tell Jennifer your number?"  
Unimpressed, Harry looked at the phone.  
"You wouldn't dare anyway if I told you not to, and if you did, I'd never see you again. Besides, maybe that's what I want, what does she look like?", he then looked at Louis challenging.  
"Harry, please!", Louis began to despair. For he only wanted to help. But he had nothing on Harry anyway.  
"There's no point in asking for anything in return, I'm doing what you ask anyway. Don't even ask, just say"  
Harry kept silent for a moment, because actually Louis was right.  
"Yes. Boring", he said in his thoughts, and Louis clasped Harry's hand, which was holding the phone.  
"Please just do it for me"  
Harry raised an eyebrow and Louis kept silent.  
"Then do it for yourself. Because it would certainly do you good"  
"I can just as well talk to the wall"  
"Call her now or I'll do it!"  
They both looked surprised at Louis' outburst, but Louis was tired of talking Harry up like a mother.  
"I'm not your mother who has to make appointments for you, Harry, and you're 20 fucking years old! So be a grown-up and do it now", Louis demanded, already terrified of Harry's reaction. Because you shouldn't talk to him like that. And that's exactly what he made clear from his reaction.  
"Not like that at all", Harry said because of his stubborn head, grinning cheekily and putting the phone away.  
"Harry!", Louis called after him as he moved to leave the kitchen.  
"If you won't do it, I will"  
"I'll be out in ten seconds", Harry turned around and Louis immediately put the phone down to run to him, his hands desperately clutching Harry's shirt.  
"Harry, please, what do I have to do to get you to go there? It can't go on like this", he said desperately in his chest. He felt the desperation deep in his chest. All he wanted was for Harry to be happy, that it was all over and that he could help him.  
"Don't cry like that, I'm going", Harry sighed annoyed, pushing Louis away and taking the phone, not turning his back to Louis so he wouldn't see the look on his face. Because maybe for a moment he couldn't control his expression and showed how sorry he was for his life and his own stubbornness. And that he felt how much Louis wanted to take him to therapy to get help. He tried to pull himself together and dialed Elia's number before putting his hand to his ear.  
"Thank you", he heard Louis behind him, who nestled his little body tentatively against Harry's back.

Harry was silent, showed no reaction and cleared his throat when the call was being answered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaaand IIII ooop-
> 
> ! If you have questions/remarks, don’t be scared to comment  
> I’m happy about every Kudos and comment <3  
> All the love xx  
> @runningwatermelon  
> (Twitter & Instagram: larrymelon28; Wattpad: runningwatermelon)


	26. ||24||

[If I Was Your Girlfriend - Mondays feat. Lucy] [0:48]

"You make me  
Oh hey, let's go out  
when I see you movin'  
Oh hey, let me out I love when you groove it like that,  
Oh hey, could be us  
Kissing in the moonlight,  
Oh hey, I'm just saying  
If I was your boyfriend"

Louis sang along in a good mood as he swung his legs just as cheerfully and looked out the window, then to Harry, smiled and looked out again as they drove past houses and trees. Harry rolled his eyes over this cheesy and good-mood song and switched the channel, whereupon Louis was silent and pouting.  
"Cause I'm in the moonlight", Harry murmured and Louis looked at him questioningly.  
"What?"  
"The Lyrics", Harry replied, his eyes still fixed on the street.  
"You sang 'Kissing in the moonlight'. That was wrong"  
"Oh. Always understood that. Well, my version is cuter"  
He grinned and Harry rolled his eyes again.  
"Besides the fact that the song's called 'If I was your girlfriend' and you sang 'If I was your boyfriend'"  
"That would be gross", Louis just answered and looked out.  
"Maybe she singing to a girl?", Harry chuckled at Louis' heterophobia.  
"Still a girl, though", Louis muttered, but Harry heard it.  
"You're ridiculous"  
Louis rolled his eyes what Harry couldn't see before he turned to the driver.  
"Just because I don't stare at boobs and I'm not turned on by the thought of sticking my dick in a slimy cave only to fear I got her pregnant because she lied to me and didn't take the pill?"  
Harry finally laughed and looked at Louis for a second.  
"You should still use condoms, you know"  
Louis would have raised one eyebrow, but since he couldn't, there were two.  
"Says you"  
Harry shrugged and looked straight ahead again.  
"You can't get pregnant"  
"That... That didn't make sense at all"  
"We're both clean. You know what I mean", groaned Harry.  
"So why are we discussing this now?"  
Louis rolled his eyes again before he looked outside.  
"Because I'm actually in a really good mood"  
"Fine", Harry said without showing any real joy, then turned the radio down as Louis rocked along.  
"I warn you, if you say one wrong word to Elia, you're not longer gonna be in a good mood"  
Louis turned to Harry.  
"Can you for once trust me instead of threatening me? When have I ever betrayed you or didn't stood by you?"  
"I don't know", Harry growled.  
"You consider Elia an fairy that can make all my problems disappear"  
"Bullshit!"  
"And why are you in such a good mood? Shouldn't you be scared, because she told you to come with me?"  
Louis kept quiet for a moment, because instead of being afraid, he was actually happy.  
"I... No, I'm happy because I'm included"  
"To my therapy session. Do you have to interfere with everything in my life?"  
"After all, I'm affected by it too", Louis murmured, and Harry sighed.  
"Voluntarily  
"I love you", was Louis' answer to that, simply because he felt the pressure to say it and Harry kept silent, kept looking straight ahead, then shook his head slightly. Why he didn't know; whether it was because he didn't believe Louis or simply couldn't believe it and couldn't understand it. Or because he was annoyed, he didn't know. But one thing he did know.  
"Don't tell Elia"  
"Don't you think she already suspects?"  
"Yes, and that's because you're never in control", Harry said, hitting his steering wheel once, causing Louis to flinch. So much for being in control.  
"What can be so hard about suppressing your feelings or at least not walking around with a sign on your forehead saying Look at me, I love Harry Styles'?"  
"What am I doing wrong?! I'm not shouting it around!"  
"Your eyes, Louis!"  
Harry turned to Louis when they stopped at a red light.  
"Your eyes are screaming that louder than you could probably scream it!"  
"Let me get this straight. You're yelling at me because you're mad at me for looking at you like you're the only thing in the world for me, when you just are?"  
Harry sighed annoyed and concentrated on the road again when the traffic light turned green.  
"It's annoying; there's enough talk around here already"  
"So what? Is there just one rumor floating around about you and that you're - oh, no how bad - gay or bi and you're into me?"  
Harry was silent and Louis nodded before leaning back with his arms crossed.  
"Exactly. No one would dare say that. The girls alone wouldn't, because they wouldn't imagine. And they say about me, ha ha, how funny, he's a gay twink and he wants Harry Styles to fuck him from behind"  
"Another reason to control yourself, you seem to be getting in more trouble than I am"  
"But unlike you, I don't care what they say. Because they have no idea. People who spread rumors are just afraid they'll miss something, so they just make something up to make it seem like they know everything. I was always the subject of rumors, so whatever. Why would I hide who I love just for idiots like that?"  
"Great, and they ask me why I don't just fuck you once, since you'd let me, anyway, because you're into me and then drop you. Just because you're into me, everyone thinks you're mine now and connects you directly to me"  
"I am yours", Louis said softly and Harry was silent.  
"I know, but no one has to know. And it bugs me that they ask me to fuck you since I don't want"  
"Who?!"  
Harry was silent.  
"Just a couple of guys"  
"Harry. Who?!"  
"Liam, for example"  
"What? Liam?!"  
"Why do you think he's so nice?", Harry snorted, glad Louis realised how naive he was with Liam, parked in a spot and turned off the engine. He unbuckled his seatbelt and wanted to get out when he saw the look in Louis' eyes. He stared at the windshield in shock. Harry sighed and turned to him.  
"You must learn that not everyone is nice to you because they like you, Louis. People are selfish and usually just nice to those who let them and fall for it to get something they want. Look at Jennifer. She's only nice to you because she wants clicks and followers through you. And me, because I'm good-looking"  
"No, that with her...", Louis sighed.  
"I can't imagine that with Liam. He was always so nice to me, even years ago. Was he trying to get me all that time?"  
Harry was silent. In fact, Liam hadn't actually said that until now, when he knew Louis was gay.  
"Apparently", he said though. Louis should stay away from Liam.  
"Means he's only wanted my body all these years?", Louis asked, looking at him with an expression that hurt. His eyes radiated pure sadness, and Harry wondered for a moment why he didn't tell the truth.  
"Apparently", he said monotonously, and Louis sighed and leaned his head against the back of his head, looking up.  
"Wow. I never expected that from Liam. He was so nice to me and didn't seem like the type. At least not with boys. Or just with me, I don't know... I-I'm the little brother of his long-time good friend"  
Of course Harry recognized the parallels between his own actions and Louis' words, but he said nothing about them.  
"Maybe just stay away from him and he'll leave you alone", he said, because Louis would listen to him. And indeed, after a short hesitation, he nodded.  
"Yes... you're right"  
Then he turned to him, a slight smile and a glimmer of admiration and love in his eyes.  
"Just like always"  
"Yes, and I'm also right when I say we have to get in because we're already late"  
Harry opened the door to get out. Louis sighed, thought briefly about Liam and how he was really a bit hurt that he had only used him all these years before he got out, too. Anyway, he didn't need Liam. He basically didn't need anyone but Harry, so there you go. At that thought he walked faster to catch up with Harry, who was already ahead due to his long legs to reach for his hand.  
"Thanks for telling me", he said gratefully, instead of asking when Harry knew and when he intended to tell him if it hadn't slipped out.  
"Hand", Harry just answered, and Louis reluctantly let go of his hand, but said nothing. He was used to it no differently

***

"Harry!", Elia came into the waiting room after a short time and smiled as Harry stood up and shook her hand.  
"And Louis"  
She turned to the smaller one, who had also got up.  
"May I still call you by your first name, or have you turned 18 in the meantime?"  
Louis laughed slightly and shook her hand.  
"And if it was like this, it would still be strange to be called that"  
Elia laughed and pointed to a door.  
"Harry, why don't you go inside, you know where to go"  
Harry frowned slightly.  
"Why, what-"  
He stopped at Elia's gaze and looked briefly at Louis, who looked at him as if he was afraid to be alone with the woman. Which was true. He didn't want to say anything wrong and Harry did most of the talking.  
"I just wanna talk to Louis for a second"  
Harry crossed his arms in front of his chest.  
"Then do that?"  
"Alone"  
Louis now spoke softly.  
"You can talk to me when Harry's standing next to us, I have nothing to hide from him anyway"  
Elia was silent and she couldn't help noticing Harry's eyes sparkle with pride and satisfaction. Louis seemed to notice her hesitation.  
"A-And well... I'll probably tell him what you asked or said anyway if he asks me about it later"  
The therapist sighed and looked into Harry's eyes, which looked at her, a bit challenging.  
"If that's the case, you can go into the room while I talk to him quickly without fear of missing anything in Louis' life"  
Harry's face fell and the therapist smiled slightly at him, something understanding in her look. For she had already understood that Harry was apparently not used to this kind of treatment  
"Go on", she laughed slightly and Harry dropped his arms and sighed before he glanced at Louis and actually went ahead. Louis looked after him, was afraid and didn't notice that Elia was already watching him again.

"How are you, Louis?"  
Surprised, Louis looked at the woman.  
"Hm? Uh, good, yes"  
Elia gave him a look and he sighed. Well, he sounded less believable.  
"I'm okay, thanks"  
Elia nodded and sat down on one of the chairs in the waiting room where no one else was sitting.  
"And how is Harry? Is he getting better?"  
Louis remained silent.  
"Are you going to ask me out about him now, hoping I will tell you everything he won't tell you?"  
Louis crossed his arms in front of his chest and Elia laughed.  
"Yes, that's what I wanted to do. Too bad, now I let you come here for nothing"  
Louis smiled, he liked the therapist. He also sat down, because apparently she wanted to talk longer.  
"No, I just wanted to talk to you, Louis"  
Louis looked at her questioningly.  
"How...", he cleared his throat, "What makes you think that? I'm actually fine"  
"Really?"  
"Well, I'm a 16-year-old boy, so it's normal to have a bad day, right?"  
Elia was silent for a moment.  
"Since when are you 16?"  
Louis frowned.  
"Since a few days"  
Elia nodded and then the two remained silent until she finally sighed and Louis thought the questioning was over.  
"Nothing has changed, has it?"  
Louis was silent.  
"W-What? It did!"

Very well done, Louis. You should be more convincing. That's your fucking job you fucking loser!

"What exactly then?"  
Now Louis was silent.  
"Well, he... he became more aware and he... well, he..."  
Seriously, Louis didn't know what to say. On the one hand, he didn't want to talk about Harry behind his back, but on the other hand, he had to be honest, simply because of his therapy.  
"He...?"  
Louis kept quiet.  
"I don't know. I honestly don't know, he... he doesn't tell me everything, so..."  
Elia couldn't help but notice a sad tone in Louis' voice when he said this.  
"Why is he here now? He had called in to say he was ill"  
Louis was silent.  
"Yes, he didn't want to go. I have... so no, I guess he realized it was important, so..."  
"Please don't lie. You told him to go, didn't you?"  
Louis was silent, then nodded slightly.  
"Well, persuasion and supplication is more like it", he mumbled, but Elia heard it.  
"That was good, Louis. Really! Thank you, Louis. I think Harry needs a little push, and you can do it, apparently"  
Louis had to smile slightly because it gave him the feeling that he was worth more to Harry.  
"Thank you", he said flattered, and Elia replied, though a little worried, with a light smile.  
"But please don't be angry with Harry! His father died and he's very upset about it, he didn't have a good relationship with him, he even told him that he thought he was a sex addict and he didn't think that was a problem at all and he left the family and Harry doesn't really like him, but he's upset that he can't be sad but the rest of his family is just being dragged down and he thinks he's like his father and.. oh god", Louis held his hand in front of his mouth when he realized what he had babbled out and Elia looked at him partly startled and partly surprised.  
"Oh. Oh, dear, that's really not good. In such a situation addicts often fall even more into their addiction and blame everything on the incident"  
"Yes! He cancelled and told me it was because of his father, but I knew he was just saying that as an excuse and maybe thinking it himself. I mean, right now he needs therapy even more"  
Elia nodded and Louis realized again that he had said all this directly without thinking. He was a blabbermouth, but with Harry he had always managed to suppress. Until now...  
"Louis, it's good that you say all this. Really. Because it helps me and I can help Harry. If he'll let me. But these things don't happen that fast. I didn't expect him to get his addiction under control just yet. But it's good that he's confronting himself with it more often"  
"Actually only I do that, I have the feeling", Louis admitted and stroked his left forearm, uncomfortably without the make-up on the skin under the thin sweater. They had had to leave straight away earlier and Harry hadn't had any make-up at home.  
"Okay. Don't stop then. Maybe you don't think so and maybe Harry doesn't say so, maybe he doesn't even notice. But you are very important in Harry's life, Louis. You know about his problem and he cannot suppress it because of that. Because one person does know. Well, now two. And you and I have to stick together, okay?"  
Louis was silent. But what Elia had said made sense.  
"Yes", he said, therefore.  
"Yes, that makes sense. Do you think Harry can be cured? And have a happy future?"  
Elia was silent for a moment.  
"Yes. But ultimately, all we can do is what we can do. It's still Harry and if he will never let me help and keep on being stubborn, there's nothing I can do. But he's been in therapy for far too short a time to be able to say that. Just like I said, he's not gonna change from one night to the next... and you should realize that, Louis. I, uh... I don't know, I feel bad dragging you into this, because you seem to care more about Harry. A lot more specifically"  
Louis was silent. Okay, maybe he was too conspicuous.  
"How, uh... why do you think that?"  
Elia sighed, then looked back at him. Louis scratched his neck and looked away.  
"Does it matter?"  
"For his therapy, it is important, because he could always have a person who would give in for him and get weak with him. And in relation to you... that's important, too. Louis, I'm not talking to you for fun, I'm worried. I know how these things can have a psychological impact on people's lifes. And I haven't known you or Harry long enough, and I don't know anything about your life or anything, but... but I still have a bad feeling about your... relationship or friendship or whatever this is"  
"Then the feeling is wrong, because everything is great"  
Louis put up a façade and crossed his arms in front of his chest, a gesture that said more than words to Elia.  
"And don't you have to get back to Harry now? He needs the therapy and you have to help him after all"  
Elia nodded after a short silence.  
"Okay, you're right", she said and stood up, whereupon Louis did the same. Clumsy as he was, however, he knocked the chair over and blushed, then put it back up again.  
"Oops"  
Elias' look had changed and she walked out of the waiting room. Louis frowned, but followed her. He noticed that his sleeves had slipped up dangerously far and pulled them down out of habit as he stopped in front of Elia.  
"Thank you very much for giving me a moment to talk to you, Louis. I wish you all the best, and I'm sure we'll meet again soon. Are you going home now?"  
It was only then that Louis realized he had to wait an hour.  
"Uh, no, I came here with Harry"  
Elia nodded, apparently expected this answer.  
"There is a bus stop nearby"  
"No, I'd rather wait for Harry"  
Louis grinned and Elia sighed, but then laughed slightly as she nodded.  
"All right. Help yourself with the water in the waiting room"  
Louis nodded and thanked her before the therapist made her way to the door through which Harry had disappeared before.  
"Sorry, Harry, it took some time", Louis heard Elias' voice before the door closed and he heard nothing more. He sighed and made his way back to the waiting room where he sat down. Feeling already bad, because he told her so much without thinking about it.

***

Harry wasn't afraid and he didn't have to be, he knew that. Louis wouldn't say a word about anything, he was sure of that. It had nothing to do with trust. It was about control. He'd made sure Louis was too afraid of him... and of the fact that Harry could always say he was never gonna do anything with him again. But still he was curious and at the same time confused what Elia had wanted to talk to Louis about. And that's exactly what he asked her when she sat down in her usual place opposite him.  
"Didn't Louis say he would tell you anyway?"  
Harry raised an eyebrow.  
"Yes, he absolutely will. But I want to know now. Or may I go out to him for a moment?"  
Elia was silent.  
"That shouldn't help you, Louis has already gone home"  
Harry said nothing first, looked into her eyes as he crossed his arms in front of her chest and inhaled once.  
"He hasn't"  
"No, he hasn't. And the fact that you can be so sure of that makes me worry, Harry"  
Harry grinned triumphantly because he had of course known that Louis would be waiting for him. Of course he would.  
"I mean it, Harry", Elia ignored Harry's childish behavior. She knew Harry well enough to know that he was anything but adult when it came to his own responsibility.  
"Do you know how Louis is?"  
Harry's grin fell and he shrugged.  
"All right, I guess. He was in an awfully good mood earlier"  
"Earlier?"  
"When we drove here. And because you told him to come with me"  
"Wouldn't he have come otherwise?"  
"I don't know. It depends"  
"On what?"  
"What I would have said, I guess. But I think I wouldn't have taken him with me, he's already bugging the shit out of me today because he-"  
"He convinced you to come here, yes I know", Elia nodded and noted something on her pad.  
"What, did he say that?", she heard Harry say and noticed him sitting up and laughed slightly.  
"Don't be angry with him, he didn't say much. But I knew it had something to do with him. You couldn't get well that fast"  
Now Harry was silent.  
"Yes, I...", he sighed.  
"My father died, so surely you can understand if I don't feel like going out and coming here. Nothing against you as a person"  
Elia held his peace briefly.  
"I'm sorry, Harry. My condolences"  
Harry was silent, was tired of the sentence, couldn't stand it. Because he didn't want fucking sympathy, he was fucking happy, for Christ's sake. Elia seemed to notice his reaction.  
"What was your relationship with your father like, Harry?", she asked and wrote something down.  
Harry stared at her pen for a moment before he answered.  
"I can't stand him"  
Elia nodded as if she had already expected this answer.  
"Why, may I ask?"  
Again, Harry took his time with his answer. Not because he had to collect his thoughts out of sadness, or concentrate on not crying. No, he had to pull himself together, not throw around all the curse words.  
"Because he was never a real father to me, he left my family and now he is one more time pulling down the people I love and who are important to me, although they shouldn't be sad about his loss. He was driving under the influence of drugs, it's his own fault. He almost killed a child and his mother"  
Elia remained silent and nodded understandingly.  
"How old were you when your father left you?"  
Harry was silent, cocked his jaw briefly before replying monotonously with '14'. Elia looked at him for a moment before she wrote it down.

Difficult age.

Then she put the pad aside.  
"I would like to talk to you today about your family, Harry. If that's all right with you, of course. But it should be a good idea to do that instead of always talking about sex, right? I guess you've had enough with Louis already"  
Harry blinked.  
"Excuse me?"  
"Well, he seems to me to be someone who confronts you with your sex addiction often? Which is good, because I know you well enough to know you'd rather not think about it and be reminded by him"  
Harry had to laugh. He had misunderstood her sentence.  
"Oh, uh, yes", he nodded and Elia frowned slightly. Harry got serious again and nodded again.  
"Yes, it bugs me. Well, I'd be happy to talk about something else if you'd like"  
Elia sighed, but because she understood what her sentence sounded like. But what had she expected, Harry always thought about sex.  
"Well, I'm glad. But before that, let's go back to Louis"  
Harry rolled his eyes.  
"Why do we always talk about Louis? Isn't this about me?"  
Elia was silent.  
"Because he's a crucial part of your life"  
"And you know this how? Did he tell you that?"  
Harry laughed.  
"Did he also tell you that we're together and we love each other till our happy ever after?"  
"No, he did not. Though I know he'd like to say so"  
Again Harry rolled his eyes, but Elia remained serious. Because it was serious.  
"It was very good of him to send you here, you know. And even if you think this is just an hour of talking. It saved many people's lives, Harry. And you should appreciate that you have this opportunity here to change and get help. And that Louis is with you all the time"  
Harry said nothing.  
"Anyway", Elia sighed, knowing that Harry wouldn't say anything about this.  
"I think it's different with every patient, but the family situation and history is partly formative and important for the process here in therapy"  
Harry shrugged.  
"Maybe. But I'm not some pervert who's sex addicted because he likes his sister and can't fuck her if that's what you're thinking"  
Elia chuckled.  
"I have seen it all, Harry. But no, I didn't think that of you. Unless you're trying to tell me something? Do you have a brother?"  
"Give me a break", Harry shaking just at the thought of incest, and Elia laughed, but then got serious again.  
"I was going to come back to Louis. He's behaving rather maturely for his 16 years"  
"Could be"  
"So you don't worry about it?"  
"About his behavior? Absolutely. When he's being annoying and stressful, I wonder what's wrong with his behaviour"  
Elia sighed, as Harry seemed to be even more closed on the subject 'Louis'.  
"So you think Louis is basically doing okay?"  
Harry shrugged again.  
"Yeah, I guess so. Especially when I'm with him, if I'm honest. And I think you can't be fool by now, the boy's got a little crush on me"  
Elia nodded.  
"I wonder how 'little', Harry"  
"Does it matter? I make him happy and that's the main thing", Harry said, cleared his throat and looked away.  
"Have we talked enough about Louis now?"  
"So you think you make Louis happy?"  
Harry sighed annoyed.  
"No. I do. Or why should he cling on my ass all the time and do something with me?"  
"I don't know, why do you do something with him?", Elia asked the question without batting an eyelid and Harry stared at her somewhat stunned, apparently without a direct answer.  
"What do you mean?"  
"Don't play dumb, Harry. You know exactly what I mean"  
Harry groaned annoyed.  
"What is this? You want a confession from me or what?"  
"I don't know, you tell me. Is there something you need to confess to me?"  
Harry was silent, looked at her quietly for a moment, something amused in his eyes.  
"You are good, Elia"  
She chuckled.  
"This is not a game where you're good or bad, Harry. My job is to ask the right questions and help people think the right things. What did I just make you think that I was 'good'?"  
Harry was silent, tilted his head a little to one side and smirked in amusement.  
"Yes, I'm having sex with Louis. More often"  
"What? Really?", Elia asked and grinned as Harry gave her an annoyed look. Then she got serious again.  
"Why are you doing this? You know he feels more for you. You could certainly find other people who don't see anything more in it than sex"  
Harry chuckled.  
"I do?"  
Elia sighed.

Good god.

"In your first session we had already talked about how often you have sex and with which people. But you hadn't said anything about Louis. Does that mean it's actually more often?"  
"Maybe a little more"  
Elia raised both eyebrows.  
"Maybe a little bit more"  
"Again, my question: Why?"  
"Why what? Have you seen what he looks like?"  
"I, uh, yeah? I know him...?"  
Harry rolled his eyes.  
"Well, then don't ask that question after you've seen him. He's just... good looking, very pretty. I can't help it"  
"So you're saying it's not your fault you're taking advantage of him, but his own, because he's... looking the way he is?"  
Harry was silent  
"When you say it like that, it sounds ridiculous. But yes, something like that. I mean, why am I the bad guy here? He's the one who's willing to be taken advantage of"  
"Yeah, because he probably can't-"  
"What is this, Elia? Has Louis talked your conscience into your head and made his angel eyes, and now you feel pity? I thought we were trying to help me, or today you said you wanted to talk about my family. So what is this?!"  
Elia was silent.  
"I'm trying to help, Harry. I always do. But this isn't all about you. And neither is your addiction. An addiction always hurts others, too. And I'm worried about Louis because he doesn't seem well  
"Then why don't you talk to him, you're a therapist", he shrugged unimpressed.  
"But leave me out of this"  
Elia was silent again. And wondered why this boy was so irresponsible. Maybe it really had family reasons? She guessed she would have to find that out.  
"I would like to begin therapy with Louis"  
Harry didn't look surprised, the woman remarked. He just nodded and shrugged his shoulders impartially again.  
"Then do this"  
Elia was silent.  
"Don't you think it's necessary?"  
Harry was silent, then sighed and sat down a little differently.  
"Aren't boys at that age always a little difficult and strange? And Louis is just weird in general"  
"But there is a limit, Harry. And I think Louis crossed it already"  
Harry snorted and Elia didn't know if Harry was simply bored or if he was rather reluctant to think that Louis would start therapy.  
"Seriously, Harry", she tried again, but he remained stubborn, so she sighed  
"Did you know that he...", she sighed again and rubbed her eyes for a moment. Talking with Harry was seriously exhausting. He really was an difficult patient.  
"I don't know, maybe he always covered it up when he was with you and you never noticed, but I just saw his arm"  
"So?"  
Elia looked at Harry.  
"He cuts himself"  
Harry was silent, showed no reaction. Maybe he now understood how important this was. She hadn't wanted to say anything so private, but Harry didn't seem to understand it any other way.  
"You must have seen that wrong"  
Elia tried not to roll her eyes.  
"I see this sort of thing more often in the daytime, Harry. I'm not...", then she was silent and looked at Harry.  
"You knew", she said softly, and Harry looked away.  
"You knew and you didn't say anything? Don't send him to therapy?!"  
"I once told him to do it", Harry said, unimpressed.  
"But he said he would think about it and that it would be a lot of stress because of his parents, so I let it go. Not my business"  
"You don't worry about it?!"  
Harry shrugged.  
"As long as I do something with him, he won't do anything stupid. Except annoy me"  
Elia was silent. She was shocked.  
"Harry, you... you really need to learn to take responsibility"  
Harry blinked in disbelief.  
"Excuse me? I moved into my own house a few days ago, and you know what? Everything is working out fine, I'm taking responsibility, because I'm an adult"  
"And you had no help?"  
Harry was silent.  
"Well, a little, but that's normal"  
Harry crossed his arms in front of his chest like a little child. And Elia knew that things were going to get very difficult with Harry.  
"Please tell Louis about my offer to have a talk with him and the idea of starting therapy with me"  
Harry was silent for a moment and then nodded without looking at her.  
"Harry?"  
"Yes, I will. What about now? Are we gonna talk about me, or are we gonna make this a Louis meeting?"  
"Get used to the subject", Elia just asnwered, wrote something on her pad while not seeing Harry rolling his eyes.  
"I'm sure we'll talk about Louis more often"

***

Louis looked up as soon as the door opened. A smile sprang from his lips as Harry walked out. He jumped up and rushed to him immediately, but then saw up close that Harry had this wrinkle between his eyebrows. Yes, he knew everything on Harry's body.  
"Hey, what's going on? Is something wrong?"  
Worried, his first instinct was to reach for Harry's hand, but the taller one pulled his away immediately.  
"Come on", Harry just said, grabbing Louis a little too roughly by the upper arm to pull him along.  
"What... What about Elia? Won't she come out again?", Louis asked, looking behind him. At that moment, the door opened and Elia actually stepped out.  
"Bye!", Louis shouted and wavered to her, the woman smiled slightly and Louis noticed her shaking her head slightly, but maybe he just imagined it. They had just left the practice when Harry stopped, making Louis stop by pulling him back as he took another step.  
"Ouch", Louis sulked about his arm, but Harry ignored that.  
"Don't say Elia saw us"  
Louis frowned, stupidly looking back, but there was only the closed door of the practice. Harry rolled his eyes because of the action.  
"Uh, yes, she did. She was just coming out of the door when we left"  
Louis looked up at Harry again, that worried, confused, stupid, innocent look on his face that only provoked Harry more. He groaned.  
"God, that'll probably be the first thing she'll say next session", he hissed and Louis no longer understood the world. He was about to carefully ask what was going on and if Harry was all right, when Harry pulled Louis closer to him, still with the handle on his arm.  
"You're ruining my whole life"  
Then he went on with fast steps and Louis tried to keep up so that the grip didn't hurt so much.  
"What... Harry, what happened?", he asked half confused half sad.  
"You", Harry just said and Louis frowned.  
"Why, I-"  
"What did you tell her?!"  
Harry turned to him angrily and finally Louis' arm was free at last. He rubbed across it and looked at Harry.  
"What? I didn't tell her any-"  
"She seemed to know everything! Neither did she seem surprised about my father's death, nor that I was here after all. You seriously told her that you made me come here?!"  
"N-no, I didn't", Louis stuttered in fright and took a step away from Harry.  
"I-I just meant that you... well, that you didn't really want to go, but then-"  
"You convinced me? Yeah, that's what she said!"  
Louis reacted too late, and Harry had taken the step that Louis had just taken back and grabbed him by the collar.  
"Now listen: I'm not here because you have something to tell me. I could have left the house alone and not gone to therapy. Don't flatter yourself just because I'm here. I drove here on my own and sat in there on my own. You didn't do a damn thing about it, just like anywhere else in my life. Just because a therapist thinks you're the pure sweet angel and hero, doesn't mean I think so, too and it's true! Got it?"  
Louis looked at him with big eyes, just nodded immediately. He hadn't been so scared of Harry in a long time. His eyes, like his voice, just sparkled with rage and aggression and his grip on the collar grew stronger.  
"Got it?!"  
"Y-Yes", Louis said and Harry nodded, then looked at the collar he was holding in his hand. It was only now that he noticed.  
"Didn't I tell you not to wear my things outside?"  
"We were just at therapy", Louis said quietly, smoothing out the dark red sweater when Harry finally let go of it.  
"God, you still don't get it"  
Louis looked at him desperately. What had he done wrong now?  
"I, Louis! I was in fucking therapy! You just sat in the waiting room"  
Louis was silent, nodded.  
"Yes"  
"What?"  
Louis didn't say anything, felt humiliated.  
"You were in therapy"  
"And you were where?"  
"...In the waiting room"  
"And what were you doing there?"  
"Waiting for you", Louis said softly, looking at his hands.  
"Never forget that again", Harry said sternly before turning around and walking out of the building.  
Louis walked after him in silence. He felt empty. He hated it when Harry was like that. He hadn't been so mean to Louis in a long time and Louis had repressed that side of Harry, as he always did with such actions. In a few hours, he'd probably forgotten all about it. If Harry was different with him again.  
If he would be different again. Louis was afraid. What if Harry was always like this now? And hated him? Never wanted to see him again?!  
Inside in a complete panic, he got into the car and buckled his seatbelt silently. He didn't know what was going to happen now; whether Harry wouldn't talk to him and he himself should shut up, too; whether he wanted to snap at him again, whether Louis should apologize or what was going on.

Everything please, as long as he doesn't say he never wants to see me again, thought Louis and looked at Harry when he started the engine.

He didn't seem to want to snap at Louis again, but he didn't seem to be in the mood for a conversation either.

But after they had been silent for a few minutes, Louis couldn't go on like that. He loved Harry far too much; he couldn't sit here and say nothing.  
"I'm sorry", he said softly, still frightened. Harry didn't react and Louis knew he wanted Louis to keep talking. He sighed. He really was such a child, wanted to hear a long apology and how right he was, just to push his ego. Probably the therapy session had been so shitty and humiliating for him, so he took it out on Louis now and wanted to push himself again.  
And yes, Louis understood all that. The problem wasn't that he didn't understand. The problem was that he didn't care. He cared more about Harry than he did about himself, so he would do that if Harry wanted him to. And that's exactly what he did.  
"I didn't think about it and mentioned that-"  
At Harry's grip around the steering wheel, that became stronger at the word, Louis stopped.  
"I wasn't thinking, and I told her that your dad... died. I-I just thought she should know, but I didn't see how you could tell her yourself and not have me interfere... A-And I... I don't know. She asked me why you were here, and I thought you were here because I convinced you to do it. I meant that you decided on your own, and she didn't believe me anything. And... and I thought for myself that maybe I made you do it because I-"  
"Because you what? Did you make the phone call for me or drive me there or what? What did you do, Louis?", Harry asked angrily and didn't even look at him.

I put the phone in your hand and told you to go there because it would be good, Louis thought.

"Nothing", he said softly, and then it was quiet for a moment, Louis still looked at Harry.  
"I was happy to come with you and thought I was more involved now. I'm not. That was stupid. I'm sorry"  
Harry was silent, took a deep breath in and out.  
"I'll drive you home"  
Louis was silent, didn't know if that was good or bad. But he guessed it wasn't better than if they had gone to Harry's house and talked properly again. But what could he do, Harry would never listen to a request from Louis.  
"Okay", he just breathed, turned to the window and didn't dare say anything again.

But as they drove on silently and they got closer and closer to Louis' street, Louis got scared. What had happened in there to make Harry feel so shitty? And what would Harry do now? Would he get drunk again? Or eat worse? Back at Lottie's party, he was about to take some drugs from Liam. No, he needed to know how much Louis loved him, no matter what happened or what he had just said to Louis. He shouldn't blame himself. Because it was Harry. And Harry was allowed to treat Louis like this.

"Harry, I..."

Louis fell silent as soon as Harry gave him a look that said 'Don't you dare say those three words'. Louis closed his mouth again and Harry looked straight ahead again, Louis looked out the window. Tears were gathering in his eyes. Never before had Harry forbidden him to say he loved him. Never. It hurt so much.

For that was the only thing that had made Louis happier than anything else. To be able to say those words to Harry.  
The words he had never said to anyone else and probably never would. He pressed his lips together. He wanted to scream at Harry. He wanted to turn to Harry now and shout 'I love you' in his face a thousand times. And then maybe a little kiss on his lips.  
Louis had to smile at the thought of Harry's lips. Those beautiful, soft, pink lips. Which were sometimes so dry in winter, but were still more beautiful than all the other lips in the world. Which had a natural shade of pink, which sometimes upset Harry because in summer it was sometimes such a strong shade.  
Louis thought back to the summer. The summer they had been together. It had been Louis' most beautiful summer. And he was sure it was his most beautiful forever, too. There could never be a more beautiful summer. Or late summer, for it was almost the beginning of autumn when they had been together. God, he had loved being in the woods with Harry in the fall. Harry between the orange and brown autumn leaves with his beanie and his brown worn out boots. He didn't wear them anymore either, he'd got new ones. And more expensive ones.

"Louis"

Louis blinked and looked at Harry, who looked at him waiting, then leaned over Louis and he thought he was going to kiss him. But instead he opened the car door and Louis frowned, looked out of the window and only now realized that they had arrived at the usual corner. The corner that they had chosen when they were together.

"Oh, sorry", Louis said softly, was even sadder by the thoughts of the past. It had been such a dream world, it felt more like a dream than his past; he couldn't believe that he had once lived like that - with Harry together as a couple.

He hopped out of the vehicle, then turned to Harry. It was weird. He didn't know what to say, didn't know what to do next. He wanted to tell him he loved him so bad.

Louis wanted to be honest and ask what was going on, if he had hurt Harry in any way or something like that; something to show that Harry was important to him.

But before Louis could say anything, Harry leaned over again, slammed the passenger door and drove away.

Perplexed, Louis looked after the car.

Seriously?

He pushed his lower lip out.

Shit. He didn't even say bye. Stupid Louis. You fucked everything up again!

Louis sighed softly, when he noticed how the vision became blurry, because tears were gathering in his eyes.

How he'd like to relive those moments. The moments he really believed Harry loved him. Moments when he thought he'd found the man of his dreams, who loved him back. He had often imagined what their future would be like: Marriage, adopting children, family vacations, growing old, dying. And what did the future finally look like?

He just got home after he went to therapy with his true love that would never love him back and didn't want to talk to him.

"You ruin my whole life"

Harry's voice still echoed in Louis' brain. And it hurt so much. Words can hurt a person so much, it's really scary.

And Louis had never heard the words 'I love you too' coming from Harry. But so many hurtful and mean things.

No, the future wasn't like Louis had imagined back then. If there still was a future for Louis. Because he knew, without Harry in his life, he wouldn't have one. Just because he couldn't live without him.

Louis was in a state of crying.

Or dying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow the end was dramatic and deep. But I'm listening to sad music, so I couldn't help.
> 
> Dramatic, sad, suicide-ic. LMAO.
> 
> ! If you have questions/remarks, don’t be scared to comment  
> I’m happy about every Kudos and comment <3  
> All the love xx  
> @runningwatermelon  
> (Twitter & Instagram: larrymelon28; Wattpad: runningwatermelon)


	27. ||Epilogue||

"Louis, are you serious?"  
Louis laughed at Harry's voice and then turned away from the boy to make his plan come true.  
"Yes! Why not?"  
"It's so citchy, don't you think?"  
Louis laughed again and bit his lip as he intently carved into the bark of the tree, creating a heart.  
"You're even more citchy, so shut up. Or have you just done it too many times secretly when you've been jogging, but won't admit it?"  
He heard Harry sigh and had to giggle, and when he felt Harry's arms around him, he smiled instantly.  
"Maybe I did that, yeah. But if I did then I can't remember, I must have been your age and that was years ago. When you were so childish and citchy and-"  
"Oh, shut it", Louis laughed immediately and punched back with his elbow, striking Harry's chest.  
"Wow, careful"  
Harry backed away slightly with his upper body because of the pocket knife that was still in Louis' hand.  
"Yeah, you better watch out with those comments or I'll cut you. No one will hear you here"  
Harry chuckled and buried his face in Louis' neck, whereupon the smaller one smiled and began to carve the 'H' in the heart. Harry's letter first, of course.  
"You would never do that"  
"Right", Louis admitted, focused on the carving.  
"I'd rather cut myself up"  
"Hmm", Harry just said, still the face on Louis' skin.  
"I wouldn't let you"  
Louis giggled and let go of the bark in satisfaction.  
"So, the 'H' is finished. Now I can make everything ugly"  
Harry sighed, took the knife from Louis' hand.  
"Let me do the 'L'. This will be the most beautiful 'L' I've ever carved into a tree"  
"I thought you didn't remember", Louis giggled as he stood next to Harry so he could carve into the tree.  
"I don't. But my handwriting used to be awful", Harry said, while he was fixated on his hand carving the 'L'. And honestly, he could have completely screwed up and for Louis, it would have been the most beautiful 'L' on earth. Simply because Harry wrote it.  
"It's perfect", Louis gasped, opening his phone camera to take a picture.  
Meanwhile, Harry's hands lay on Louis' hips from behind and Harry kissed his neck. Louis had to giggle because it tickled, but at the same time he tried to get the picture right. He didn't understand why Harry kept kissing his neck. It of course felt amazing. But he himself thought kisses on the lips were even more fantastic and special. But without tongue and all that stuff. Just a long kiss on the mouth. For Louis, there was nothing more beautiful. Of course, he loved everything about kissing, because it was Harry. But most of all, he loved the simple, childish and innocent kisses on the mouth. He'd never get enough of that.  
But he didn't think Harry thought like that, too. Louis blamed his age. He was more mature and experienced, after all. He was also always the one to take the next step, because Louis was just too overwhelmed at times. It was not only his first relationship but also his first experience with such physical things. But he trusted Harry. God, Louis admired him so much. So he turned in Harry's grip to stand on his toes and pull Harry a little bit towards him at the back of his neck.  
He smiled into the kiss because he was getting the very kiss he had just raved about in his mind. Perhaps it was simply Harry's lips that made this kiss so perfect. How Harry's full lips met Louis' like a pillow and then gave in until Louis released himself again.  
As Louis now separated from Harry, Harry's lips met his again and he had to smile at the gesture and Harry deepened the kiss, pulling Louis closer at his hips.  
And God, Louis had never kissed anyone else, but he was sure that no one could kiss as good as Harry. It was just so unfair. On the one hand Louis loved Harry so much because he was so perfect, on the other hand thoughts and feelings came up in him that he had never thought or felt with any human before. So it was not supposed to sound like that with animals either. Louis just felt sometimes overwhelmed by his own feelings for Harry and he didn't know how to deal with it; he didn't know all this yet. Everything was so new, so unfamiliar. He didn't recognize his life. But if this was his life from now on, he wouldn't complain.

"Harry", Louis eventually broke the kiss.  
"Hm?", Harry asked absently, leaning back to him again, eyes on Louis' lips. But Louis giggled a little, his head leaning backwards a bit.  
"Shall we get going? I don't want to walk around here in the dark, and a walk doesn't mean standing around forever and eating the face of the other"  
Harry sighed and stood upright again, whereupon Louis laughed, took his hand and walked on with him. It wasn't that he didn't enjoy getting this kind of attention from Harry, he was just sometimes overwhelmed by it, he wasn't used to it as said. And besides, he didn't just want the physical things from Harry, he wanted to experience things with him, go for a walk, maybe go on a trip, to the fair, on holidays, go away without knowing where, all that.  
He wanted to share and collect so many different moments with him. Of course he also wanted to share these physical things and experiences with Harry, but that just wasn't a high priority for him. And he didn't think about how it was with Harry. Because the main thing was that they were finally a couple and could now be together, at least secretly.  
The last time they had had sex was a few days ago; Louis didn't think about it that much, didn't know Harry was about to freak out. Why else would he be with him? Something always came between, or Louis was too tired or some shit. Harry was just starting to going crazy. And then there was Louis, looking like this, having a body like this and acting so innocent and not seriously thinking about how Harry was going to fucking lose it. But no, he couldn't break up with him now.

Louis actually didn't think about it. He sighed when they arrived at the slope they had walked up before. Everything looked so beautiful; the colours were bright in the sun and it was pleasantly warm. Louis suddenly hugged Harry, pressed his cheek to the chest of the taller one, his arms wrapped around him.  
"Haz, this is amazing", he said without thinking, looking at the view at the same time. He felt Harry's heartbeat, felt his arms around him and perceived this unique scent that seemed to take away all his senses. He had never felt this way with anyone before. Never before had he felt like this with anyone, never did he-  
"I love you", he said his thoughts, then he was shocked himself. Harry was silent. Louis felt Harry's breath stop for a moment. He had to smile, because apparently his words touched Harry so deeply. Aww, Harry was so cute!  
He looked up, whereupon Harry looked straight at him, when he had looked at the view.  
"I've never had that. Such strong feelings for someone. I never thought I could love someone so quickly, I mean, we've only been together for few weeks. And yet the love is so strong. I don't want to be without you anymore"  
Harry smiled touched and took Louis' face to kiss him. Louis had the feeling he would burst with butterflies in his stomach.  
"God Louis", Harry said smiling against his lips; both eyes still closed and Louis' hands on Harry's.  
"I never thought such a wonderful person like you could love me"  
Louis bit his lower lip for all the smiles. His brain didn't wonder if he wasn't going to say 'I love you too' or something similar, simply because Harry had said something like that and called him 'wonderful'. And Harry knew very well how to avoid the certain words. And he would be able to keep doing it.

But why not take advantage of Louis' little declaration of love when it was already there?

"Let's go out tonight", Harry said, and Louis opened his eyes.  
"I'll take you out"  
And as much as Louis wanted to, and his eyes were shining just at the thought of going out for a romantic dinner with Harry, he thought of Harry first and not his own wishes.  
"But... Haz, if anyone sees us..."  
He looked at him with concern. Harry only seemed to remember it now and he was silent.  
"Hm", he said, staring briefly into the distance.  
"Then we'll go", he said and looked again at Louis, who looked at him questioningly.  
"I don't know, we'll just drive one town over, get a hotel there for one night and I'll take you out", he suggested and kissed the back of Louis' hand. Louis could only watch him with wide eyes, he was too shocked.  
"What... wait. What?"  
"Why not? Then we'll have all the time in the world, have our own suite and there'll be no one to disturb us or see us"  
Harry put his arms around Louis' waist. And driving back after dinner wouldn't work, the night was far too useful to use for driving home.  
"But... But"  
Harry couldn't suppress his grin completely because of Louis' stammering and Louis just stared at his dimple like an idiot.  
"No, that...  
"The only reason you could cancel would be for the money. And I've enough of that, baby"  
Harry buried his face back in Louis neck.  
"Come on. Just you and me. You always want to do something"  
Louis blinked, freed himself from his rigidity.  
"Are you seriously trying to persuade me to leave with you to go to dinner and sleep there? Now? After I just told you I love you?"  
Harry chuckled. Jesus, he had known Louis was going to say yes anyway. But he had to at least act a little cuddly and cute.  
"I don't know. You didn't say anything and I thought maybe it was too fast for you"  
"Oh", Louis said flippantly and pushed Harry's head back so they could look at each other.  
"Don't be silly. I was just so shocked because I didn't expect this. And for you to want to do this with me, I... I'm just so touched and there's nothing in the world I'd rather do. I would follow you anywhere, Harry", Louis said and meant it, which should make him wonder or make him think a bit, since he was already developing such an addiction for this boy.  
But Harry didn't make him feel he had to think about it. And he just did what Harry told him to do. So why should he think about it?  
Harry smiled and ran a hand through his hair.  
"Oh, Lou, that's sweet. Come on, I'll drive you home, It's getting late. And then I'll book everything"  
Louis smiled at Harry like he hung the moon and kissedHarry. Feeling so happy. Feeling so in love. And feeling so loved. The last onewas just a feeling though.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And yes, this actually was the ending...
> 
> ...of the first book. Because I decided to part my story so the book doesn't have that many chapters. And chapter 24 is a good cut, I think. Dramatic, sad, suicide-ic. LMAO.
> 
> I wanted to end this book with a cute throwback, the walk in the forest Louis thought about in the last chapter. When he said his first 'I love you'. So I hope you liked it!
> 
> In the second book the every day life will change, because school's starting bitcheees!
> 
> I hope you're just as excited as me and will take a look <3  
> Will take a while though because I'm currently writing on my other Fanfiction. It's Mafia!Larry, Powerbottom!Louis and Crossdressing!Louis if you wanna check it out in the meantime :) It's called "Boss Bitch" (and in my opinion a better story than this because my writing skills improved a lot through the year(s). I wrote "You give love a bad name" 1 1/2 years ago I think.
> 
> If you have special wishes or suggestions for the second part of this story, don't be scared to share!! <3 (Or from which characters you would like to read more)
> 
> Hope you enjoyed <3
> 
> ! If you have questions/remarks, don’t be scared to comment  
> I’m happy about every Kudos and comment <3  
> All the love xx  
> @runningwatermelon  
> (Twitter & Instagram: larrymelon28; Wattpad: runningwatermelon)


	28. ||Part Two||

The second book "You Make Love A Bad Emotion" is online!!

! Read it on my Wattpad or on my AO3: runningwatermelon

! Instagram-accounts to contact me: larrymelon28 & larrykiwi28

Hope you're just as excited as me xx

runningwatermelon  
(Twitter: larrymelon28; Instagram: larrymelon28 & larrykiwi28; Wattpad: runningwatermelon)


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